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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/19/2006 1:33:43 AM

becca333

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I don't share.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/19/2006 7:25:26 PM

WhiteRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

WOW… great topic! Thank you.

This is something I’ve thought a great deal about. I have never been a ‘swinger’…and this (sexual) sharing seems much like swinging to me. Were I to belong to another, I’d hope he was of the opinion some others here; that I belong to him and that he had no interest in sharing me in that way. Having said that, I have great interest in a Poly household; a closed Poly household…go figure.

I find it very interesting that even though the OP specified non-sexual sharing that many relies assume it is sexual.

Actually the question was do you share, and if so, in what capacity?
I did say that I share my *to a select few* for non-sexual purposes.

For me, there are few I find worthy of my slave's service... He is a treasure and I must respect.. and have affection... for those I lend him to. I will allow him to assist in any way he is needed, as a grunt, but not if it is beyond his endurance. And there is only one local lifestyle Mistress I trust with him.. and will allow him to run errands for her or pedicure her feet. I see his service as an extension of me. My affection towards my friend demonstrated through his service.

But that is just the way I am wired.. In a way I would like to be more generous with him, but I am a selfish, possessive Mistress. I envy those who can share those they love, and take the responsibility it entails.

Thank you all for your responses. I really do appreciate this diverse and open group of people! ;)

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/19/2006 8:07:45 PM

Dollbecky

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I share happily with those I like and trust....thats just me

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/19/2006 8:17:21 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

I will allow my sub to serve my friends in a non-sexual capacity. Am I a minority? How do others feel about this issue?

I don't share, especially not sexually. I'm more the type to put them on a leash and shout "MINE MINE MINE!". Then again I was an only child, go figure.

I do expect them to be a good hostess if I have guests, that is if someone needs something to drink they should offer and so forth. But these are things I expect as part of common courtesy, not "slave service". But so far as sharing them sexual, BDSM play, etc... no, not at all.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/19/2006 9:00:46 PM

LadiesBladewing

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When we were a larger household, our servants were shared among a closed (and closely vetted) circle of friends, associates and family. How close to the "inner core" of the family determined what level of service our servants gave. The infamous "FDC" (Food Drink Conversation) was offered by our servants to -any- guest in our household... family or not, from the household accountant to a cool drink brought to the meter-man or cable installer.

"Comfort services"... contact, cuddling, massage, bathing, dressing, turndown service and company for a bedtime drink, etc., was limited to friends of the family and family members. BDSM activities, if the servant was suited to such things, were also limited to close friends and family only, but if you are close enough to be a close friend to us, you're vetted and trusted.

Not all of our servants provided sexual service -- in fact, probably less than 20% of the servants who have graced our household have included sexual service in their service. For the ones who did, it was -only- close family, where we knew who was sleeping with whom and there wasn't any unintentional, unaccounted for, or unplanned outside activity to have to worry about in terms of the safety and health of everyone involved who shared those servants among us. While "family" to us does not require blood or marriage to use the term, the sheer weight of time that it took to get to that point was enough to assure that "family" was, in essence, pretty much a closed circle.

For us, the issue was the safety of our family -- mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and communal. We wouldn't loan our car, our set of chef's knives, or our artwork to people who wouldn't appreciate them and take proper care of them... so why would we consider loaning our servants, who are animate and cognizant of what they offer, and who, in service, yield up their safety and their lives to our hands.

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

Here is a question for both Dominants and submissives. Dom/mes, do you share your subs? Subs, do you serve your Master or Mistresses friends, and if so, in what capacity?

I do not know about anyone else here, but I quite often get mail from "subs" who want do anything for me (and my girlfriends) pleasure. lol Some submissives (term used loosly here) seem to want to "serve" anyone who is present. Is this commonly done? Who does it, and why?

I will allow my sub to serve my friends in a non-sexual capacity. Am I a minority? How do others feel about this issue?

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 12:58:16 AM

dincubus

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My submissive and i have each talked abou tsharing the other, while i am not a switch, she would love to see me have another woman for my own pleasure. as for her, she is Bi and has expressed a desire to explore her Bi side. and that is perfectly ok with me. I want to do nothing that coul dhinder her development as a person or as a sub. She will be having that desire filled next weekend so hopefully she will enjoy it.
it is a tough thing for someone who truly cares for another, to see them with another person. while i have done this before, it has not quite been to this level of caring before. so this is all new ground for me as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

Here is a question for both Dominants and submissives. Dom/mes, do you share your subs? Subs, do you serve your Master or Mistresses friends, and if so, in what capacity?

I do not know about anyone else here, but I quite often get mail from "subs" who want do anything for me (and my girlfriends) pleasure. lol Some submissives (term used loosly here) seem to want to "serve" anyone who is present. Is this commonly done? Who does it, and why?

I will allow my sub to serve my friends in a non-sexual capacity. Am I a minority? How do others feel about this issue?

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 5:33:55 AM

Slavebitch11

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My Master shares me sometimes. The first time was at my collaring where I was shared with our witness to the ceremony. I was his reward.
Though I'm shared with a few, and as or recently, rented by others.... I'm Owned by one.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 5:53:15 AM

bridget2

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quote:

The sheer thought of sharing her with other makes me cringe.
But then again I’ll not rule out the possibility some time in the future that it can become necessary to loan her to another sadistic dom to satisfy his sexual needs in order to further develop her submission and obedience. That’s how much I love her.

Loving Sadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingSadist

i was told recently what would be involved if i allowed Him to collar me. it involved some sharing, yes. my own reaction to the requirements startled me because it actually hurt my feelings that He would even consider sharing me with anyone. call me overly sensitive? maybe.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 6:04:34 AM

NeedInspiration

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I have many fantasies about being shared by two Dominant men.

I've experienced being with women in the past decade. I have to say, honestly, that I haven't slept with women who weren't friends (good friends.. close friends) first.

Including a third in a relationship is something that really only works for me.. when EVERYONE understands their position.. and the specific activities that are desired and that they must remain within the boundries detailed by the Dominant in the relationship.

I've had great 3somes and a few horrible ones... the horrible ones happened when the boundries weren't adhered to... it's that "simple" <-- tongue in cheek here.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 6:10:53 AM

xxmstrchasxx

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I have shared my sub with a very close friend/Dom that I have known for years and he has shared his sub with me.

I have known him for years and seen him with his sub and knew mine would never be hurt in anyway.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 6:56:24 AM

mastersayed

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I will never share my slave, she is mine for my pleasure.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 8:04:18 AM

MHOO314

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I had once thought I would never share My submissive and I never will in a sexual or intimate capacity--but I have a very good friend who is a Domme and a nurse--so I will be learning some "medical"techniques from Her on him---and we have talked about a boys night with She and I and our boys---but in any setting that is not with best friends--No, in any sexual nature--No.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/20/2006 8:57:36 AM

KnightofMists

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I have had my slaves serve others in a variety of capacities. Non-sexual service to BDSM/Sexual service.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/21/2006 12:56:13 AM

shivvy

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Non-sexually - It depended on the situation i spose. If it woz me and Master out in the vanilla world, then no, not really. i just looked after my Master, unless He told me to do something specific. If Master and i were at one of His D/s Friends houses, then i helped His/Her slave/sub in the kitchen and with chores etc, because i spose They wanted to talk about stuff that wasn't meant for me to hear, and coz i spose He woz the guest, not me. And if we went to a bdsm "club" we used to go to sometimes, then again, not really, i just used to look after Him, unless He told me different.

Sexually. - my Master did used to share me with others, and He used to use other slaves/subs as well, but i don't know why He decided on who i should serve. Again, i just done as i woz told, and tried my best to be pleasing.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/21/2006 5:51:34 AM

wetrope

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I do not share even a pic of my sub. Her submission is given in confidence, we have learned each other's respect, couldnt break that!!! I have talked to others who do, guess I'm too old school.

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/21/2006 3:58:42 PM

Wolf1020

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I'm just not the sharing type I suppose.

I don't lend out my tools, I don't lend out my car, in fact any of my possessions which either mean a lot to me or have high value don't get loaned out. I see no reason therefore to loan out my sub.

At a social function or something she might serve, or serve someone who came to my home. But not private service, loaning, and certainly not sexually

< Message edited by Wolf1020 -- 5/21/2006 3:59:39 PM >

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/22/2006 2:49:08 PM

NeedInspiration

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wetrope

I do not share even a pic of my sub. Her submission is given in confidence, we have learned each other's respect, couldnt break that!!! I have talked to others who do, guess I'm too old school.

Sharing is considered "new school" ?? ?? ?? lol

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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/22/2006 2:52:23 PM

NeedInspiration

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I have to say here....

I would guess (and of course this is just a supposition on my part)... that the male Dominants here who have poo poo'ed the notion of sharing are LESS than secure about themselves, their partner's affection, their phallus size, their ability to dominate well (in terms of mindgames and bdsm games particularly) or their ability to please their partner. AND.. I'll even go out on a limb and surmise that they would "allow" their submissive woman to play (sexually) with another woman..