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am genuinely puzzled about some things I have found them throughout my readings here. An example: "I don't have to keep up. If he wants to fuck me, then he fucks me. It's not important whether I particularly feel like sex at the time or not. I'm not expected to feel hot or horny just because he does. I AM expected to accept being fucked when he wants to.
I don't do it out of love or a desire to serve, I do it because he's the boss, he wants to fuck and that's how our relationship is run."

Years ago, I read that idiot John Gray's Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. In one of his chapters, he tries to make a point that sometimes men just want to fuck and not be "bothered" with "foreplay". He suggested that on such occasions, that the two people work it out, maybe cut a little deal where she goes and gets herself "ready", and then he just comes in and goes at it with her. (Next day she could get a nice backrub in exchange for getting fucked with no foreplay). Frankly, I felt furious that a man could not be "bothered" to take the time to insure that his female partner was stimulated, mentally, physically and emotionally. It struck a nerve with me, because it not only lacked in regard for the partner, but for me, it was a very poor model of what a man is, including, and especially, a dominant man. I am married to my dominant, and I cannot imagine him ever taking me without regard for how I feel.

So I find I am genuinely confused over what John Gray thought was OK, and with some of what is said here, and how it is accepted. How are they different??
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ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Define foreplay.

Two hands grabbing your nekkid waist, being positioned doggie-style, and a squirt of lube just moments prior to a world class ass-raping?!!    Yep... lube equals LOVE, dammit!!!

ooh.. that SO works!!

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ORIGINAL: 0ldhen

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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Define foreplay.

Two hands grabbing your nekkid waist, being positioned doggie-style, and a squirt of lube just moments prior to a world class ass-raping?!!    Yep... lube equals LOVE, dammit!!!

OH HELL YEAH!!!!!!

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Hello, CP, yes, married since Oct 2010 to a dominant I met here. You are correct that I do not frequent the boards often, and there are many reasons for that, if you read Irish Mist's response, you will see one of the reasons I dont. FOR ME, a D/s relationship is just like any other relationship, in that if it must have respect. FOR ME, it is not about play, or kink; it is primarily about the power dynamic. I have noticed on the boards at times an honest question turns in to a pissing contest. This is not a generalization, but it happens enough to put me off the boards for periods of time. People often reach out here for some kind of help, and eventually the criticisms set in. In fact, I am pretty sure my observation here will stir up a sh-t storm. I dont want that either.