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RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/6/2011 6:08:16 AM

twistedwillow

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
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Ohh, where do i start?

Nearly garroted myself as a kid. Was at a friends place for the weekend, single line of wire running across the back separating the back yard from the paddock. Most of the time I remembered to duck when racing under it. This time I didn't, found myself flat on my back, knocked myself out, and had a bruise across my neck for about 2 weeks.
Playing chaseys in school with a sandpit beside the cemented lunch area, I go flying round one of the tables, slide on the sand, and took my entire left thigh out, still have "gravel rash" scars on my thigh.
Climbing over a tree bridge, slip and put my hand on a roofing nail ( one of those long ones with the huge flat head on them ) had to actually yank to get my hand off it.
Climbing over a square mesh fence with bits of cut mesh sticking up on it ( instead of walking the extra 30 meters to go through the gate ) slip, rip the arse out of my jeans and the back of my thighs where they meet my butt, also still have scars there. Also do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to sit in a plastic chair with a short dress on in school, sweating your arse off with wounds like that? lol
Doing cartwheels at 16, twisted my knee, had to have an op to fix it up, so a scar running up my knee. Got out of the cast and went down the river with my best mate, climbed the railway viaduct, and popped my knee out again.
Back of my hand was itchy, I go to scratch it, end up gouging out a chunk with my nail ... another scar. ( I scar easily, apparently )
Broke my little toe when shutting the door to have phone sex

Still not sure how I managed it, it was the little toe on my left foot, and I was shutting the (swinging) door from left to right, but somehow or other my little toe ended up at a 90 degree angle.
Broke the middle toe on my left foot walking /falling down stairs in high heels.

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Post #: 141

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/6/2011 6:13:16 AM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
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The other day I threw some canned mushrooms into hot oil without draining them properly. Now I am sporting some rather lovely purple marks up the inside of my arm. Pretty damn stupid.

Edit: Just reading back through the thread, I notice that I am not the only person who should not be allowed in a kitchen ...

< Message edited by MissKittyDeVine -- 10/6/2011 6:19:38 AM >

(in reply to twistedwillow)

Post #: 142

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/10/2011 8:42:46 PM

AdorkableAiley

Posts: 920
Joined: 9/12/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

The other day I threw some canned mushrooms into hot oil without draining them properly. Now I am sporting some rather lovely purple marks up the inside of my arm. Pretty damn stupid.

Edit: Just reading back through the thread, I notice that I am not the only person who should not be allowed in a kitchen ...

Ive done this with eggs in boiling water... I have learned to ease them in with a spoon so as to not splash... Yeah I learned that the very hard way!

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 143

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/10/2011 8:45:45 PM

AdorkableAiley

Posts: 920
Joined: 9/12/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

HEY!!!! Y'all hold My beer an watch this.

I was always the kind of person that would rather watch the drunk loons than be one of the drunk loons...

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 144

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/13/2011 3:30:35 PM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
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Just thought of an even better one.

One rainy day, I slipped on a manhole cover on my way out. In the busiest part of town. Nothing hurt except my dignity.

On the way back, I fell over again. On the same bloody manhole cover. This time, trip to hospital.

(in reply to AdorkableAiley)

Post #: 145

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/13/2011 3:58:53 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

My dog ran into my face this morning.

I'd rather not explain....considering I still can't wrap my mind around exactly how it happened.

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Post #: 146

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/13/2011 4:11:15 PM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
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FR

On Tuesday Maggie ambushed me just as I lifted my foot. In trying not to step on her I twisted sharply re-injuring my hip. I think she's trying to kill me.

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Post #: 147

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/13/2011 6:42:30 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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FR

Since y'all won't let this thread die I am going to respond, but I ain't gonna read it !

I was riding a dolley, this entails standing on the bottom flat part and pushing the handle so that it propels you forward. The problem is if you get beyond the balance point you WILL fall and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. Getting past the balance point is easy if the floor is not quite perfectly flat, as in clean...... Believe me.

I found this out the hard way. My right arm came down on the corner of a piece of sheetmetal, which was actually a part of the purity shield for an old CRT. Just below my right elbow it cut all the way to the bone. With all the people standing around telling me that I must go to the hospital for stitches, some shit about the flesh hanging out or something, I did what any Terminator would do.

I flipped one of my dudes a twenty and sent him up to the drugstore for a BIG packege of bandaids, something I didn't have because I almost never use them. I don't care about the bleeding, but that flesh hanging out, I figured it might be a good idea to cover that up. Funny, it looked like pork.

Almost broke my nose once walking through a tempered glass patio door, or actually failing to do so. Now I look for the frame, but that wasn't really worth a mention because there was no blood. Man, when my arm got cut on that sheetmetal I found out - I had a fucking hell of alot of blood back then !

T^T

(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)

Post #: 148

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/13/2011 7:42:48 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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Termy?

*snicker*

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Post #: 149

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/13/2011 11:09:31 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
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Hey there Irishy, I'd bet my left nut you got a couple of stories. Give it up ! Give it up !

Maybe later I'll tell about the time I embedded a pair of nodelneese pliers in my face right above the jaw becasue I was using them instead of the properly designated tool for changing the brakes on a mid 1970s GM product.

Too bad I can't use other people's because I got a doosey.

Fuckit ! : the raccoon was my resident hoodlum until I had to get rid of him. Well when he worked at the boneyard he ran himself over with a truck. Was a stickshift truck and something was wrong with the wiring so it wouldn't start. It was too big for one guy to pushstart so he got under there with a screwdriver to kick in the solenoid.

Fucking box of rocks didn't take the truck out of gear and the starter motor drove it just enough to pin him. He wasn't hurt really bad because this was all in mud. There was a body shaped imprint in the mud, if not he might be dead. He will be if he comes around here but he ain't yet. And yes, NONE of my neighbors will pick up a phone. Pricks, rip me off........ not worth dying for, but killing ? Ahhh whatever.

Actually Shore met the dude. That was back before things went bad though. Thing is with people like that, all I have to do is nothing. I should send him a big roll of rope. (not the kind you smoke, I know some hillbillies call it that) But the fact is that there are many deserved yet unrewarded Darwin awards out there, and this dood really deserves one, maybe two.

T^T

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 150

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/14/2011 4:43:10 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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LMAO
Well, I posted a few already but well, ok...here's one

I was, oh maybe 11 or so...we had gone to Minnesota where my aunt and uncle had a cabin...and I get the bright idea to stick a bobby pin in the socket

I wanted to see what would happen. I can still remember the feel on my hand when that current shot out.
Ouchie.

When I was about 8, I 'borrowed' my sisters ten speed. Coming back home, there was ths alley right before our street and I was coming up on it pretty fast when I see a car start coming out. I managed to slow down enough that I hit his front tire. Went flying backwards into a fence. Tore up my knees and back something awful. That poor guy had his son in the car with him...I still cringe when I think of how he must have felt, even though it WAS my fault. Luckily, I was not hurt badly, AND the guy knew my dad and where we lived. They got me home, called my dad at work and waited till he got there.

And then there was time that my parents were putting up a new deck outside our back door. I knew the old deck was gone and that it was a two storty drop to concrete...totally spaced it out. Walked out one morning without thinking. NOW THAT HURT lol.

or there was the time that we were playing baseball...me, my brother, some other kids from the neighborhood...we were taking a break and my brother was standing talking and swinging the bat. I walked up behind him and got smacked in the center of my forehead. 12 stitches.

I had a bullet graze across my hand one time because some punk put the gun in my face and it pissed me off enough that I grabbed it. When I grabbed it, it went off. I got lucky that time. The punk got a broken jaw for his trouble...I whacked him with the gun across the face for pissing me off.

There are more lol, but most of it was stupid stuff on my part...and by that I mean...stuff I instigated, knowing it was stupid and going to get me jumped

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Post #: 151

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/14/2011 7:35:26 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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KANADIAN KLUTZ STRIKES AGAIN!!!

Late this afternoon while going out to dinner with new Dom (I'm at his place) he decided we should take the fire escape staircase instead of the inside stairs which are perfectly safe. But noooooooo, have to go down a long metal staircase, slick with rain and leaves and those little hekichopper thingies off trees ya fly in the summer for the hell of it. Hanging on for dear life, taking each step carefully while he flies down. Guess who's foot goes out from under her, lands on her tailbone and lower back and goes bumping down the remaining 10 steps to the landing. No, you don't get 3 guesses, only the first one counts.

So I'm laying there, ass all wet, covered in dirt and gounk, scared to let him help me up because he wants me to wrap my arms around his neck, then I'm scared we do that and he's going to fall and take me down again. So finally got one foot shove into a small corner, the other against one of the metal posts and he manages to get me back up. I'm in tears, I'm hysterical, I still want to go out for supper dammit! Nice guy that he is, helps me undress, gets me into bed with everything I need and went to the corner bar where they have the best caesar salad wrap and a pretty good poutine. Now I can't get comfortable in bed because I've discovered that I also hurt my left shoulder blade and my left hip. Not to mention my right calf.

I swear I need to be wrapped up in several layers of bubblewrap and not allowed anywhere that could be considered dangerous. But then that'd include just about everywhere since I can manage to do damage to myself on the most innocuous of objects.

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Post #: 152

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/14/2011 7:42:11 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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Door bell rings, I had poured a glass of wine, thought it was an xmas parcel for me (delivered late in the evening as the Royal Mail usually isn't aware that xmas is a busy time), running downstairs, tripping over the cat, doing a somersault (not breaking the wine glass), landing hard on the ankle, getting up, crawling to the door (I want my pressies), of course it was somebody ringing the wrong door bell... Few hours later ankle has tripled in size, ER next morning (being carried in as I can't walk), turns out I fractured ankle, damaged ligaments, ruptured tendons and ALL FOR AN IDIOT WHO RANG THE WRONG DOOR BELL!

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Post #: 153

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/14/2011 9:37:16 PM

Edwynn

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Joined: 10/26/2008
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Amazing how inebreiateted or otherwise indisposed others have to be to achieve this level of self-destruction.

It's not that difficult, even for otherwise "coordinated" people. Back in the day, I walked across narrow 6" -rounded- beams 70' (~21 metres) above concrete floor to rig a show, sometimes harness tether clicked into safety cable or something else, sometimes not, for whatever last bit was not accounted for by the venue or the show riggers. Happened alot. Other venues were 90' 0r higher, same situation.

After all that, just come into the house and bump my head into the edge of a forgotten opened door just like everybody else.

Glad to know I'm normal in some regard.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 154

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/15/2011 11:47:59 AM

MissKittyDeVine

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Joined: 9/24/2011
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Then there was the time I forgot that the windows in my flat opened inwards, stood up after picking something up, and cut my head on the window frame.

It was only a tiny cut but with all the blood running down my face I looked like something out of Carrie ...

(in reply to Edwynn)

Post #: 155

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/15/2011 11:57:25 AM

servilecat

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Yes, have put things in hot oil forgetting to drain them...
Opened a cabinet, bent over and then hit my head on the bottom of the cabinet. Done this with the freezer/refrigerator as well...
Taken cooked eggs out of the microwave only to have them blow up all over me...
DOne the splits accidently several times.
There are many others but the highlight would probably be the sharp pencil rolling off my drafting table I decided needed to be caught by closing my thighs (at the wrong time)

No wonder I need a Daddy.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 156

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/15/2011 12:10:17 PM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
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quote:

Amazing how inebreiateted or otherwise indisposed others have to be to achieve this level of self-destruction.

Sadly I don't even have the excuse of being inebriated at the time of my accidents. I was stone cold sober with each and every one of them. I'm starting to wonder if it is like those Final Destination films in that I was supposed to die in X situation and they are all attempts to correct that.

Fire

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Post #: 157

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/15/2011 12:39:30 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
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Ugh, when I had a stackable washer & dryer, I had a bad habit of forgetting to shut the upper door of the dryer. When I would come in the laundry room, which doubled as a pantry, my guardian angels, who are mean mother fuckers anyway, would lie in wait until I bent over to pick up something and they'd move the dryer door to wherever it needed to be for me to crack my head on it when I stood up.

They'd usually knock something onto the floor right before I went in the room, just to set me up, too. Bastards.

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Post #: 158

RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself - 10/17/2011 12:40:20 PM

AdorkableAiley

Posts: 920
Joined: 9/12/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Ugh, when I had a stackable washer & dryer, I had a bad habit of forgetting to shut the upper door of the dryer. When I would come in the laundry room, which doubled as a pantry, my guardian angels, who are mean mother fuckers anyway, would lie in wait until I bent over to pick up something and they'd move the dryer door to wherever it needed to be for me to crack my head on it when I stood up.

They'd usually knock something onto the floor right before I went in the room, just to set me up, too. Bastards.

LOL I love the description here, made me laugh... yeah some guardian angels can be mean mother &^*(^%$ and some have very perverse sense of humors!

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 159

RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself - 10/17/2011 12:53:17 PM

Marc2b

Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
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I've been avoiding this thread because I knew what tale I would have to tell. Perhaps my tale of woe will prevent other guys from making the same mistake I made. If that it so, then it will be worth it.

I sleep naked (just way more comfortable) and I am not a morning person. My normal routine after waking and slowly draging my ass out of bed would be to do the sleepy man's stomp to the refrigerator for a diet cola (my prefered source of caffine, plus the fizz helps wake you as well). I would then plop my naked butt on the couch and light up a cig. By the time I had finished the cig I was usually awake enough to make it to the shower. This was my normal morning routine... until the day I dropped hot ash on my balls. My ass woke up extra fast that day (scared the living shit out of the cat). Since that day, however, I put on a pair of pants before I plop on the couch and light the cig.

Ya know, I've heard that there are guys who get off on having cigs put out on them, even their balls... I really, really, do not understand those guys.

On the plus side, it did help me along with picking up girls: "Hey baby, wanna see my really cool burn scar?"

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Post #: 160

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