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RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:22:42 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I continue to believe that kid's now are going to have very different lives than we did. Tere are some profound and lasting changes happening in this country, and a college education is probably not going to be the answer. But I still believe it is a parent's greatest responsibility to get their children off to a good start in life, whether that means college or not. So Lizi, that is wonderful that "you made lemonade" so to speak, but the fact is, your parents failed you. Bit you already knew that, based on what you said about your dad. Plus, if the OP has a medical condition like he claims, then I cN't imagine how his family could just let him suffer, regardless of his age. Families sacrifice for ech other, and a child's health should be more important than a move to Hawaii. There is more to being a parent than changing diapers and then kicking the kid out the door when he is 18.
However, the OP is kind of a victim, and I can kind of see how his parent's may have given up. It would be interesting to know how he actually did in school when he was there. I don't believe a parent is required to throw good money after bad. The child also has to do their part, and it doesn't sound like he is. Even in his posts, there is always some excuse. DES, I already told him about the dental school at Indiana University (go Hoosiers! I'm an alum). He "mumbled" some excuse. I think he expected to be told about a magic pill that solved all his problems.

I agree with you. Sorry I have to run and will come back to this, but I agree with you. My main point is that he didn't get that from his parents and how can he deal with that now? I have 2 sons I'm putting through college right now, I take parental responsibility extremely seriously and I am WELL aquainted with the present conditions of society today as opposed to how things were when I took care of things myself - I know they are two different things. My point is what can the OP do now?

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 61

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:22:50 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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It used to be that the greatest thing a parent could give a child was the ability to stand on his/her own. College when I was growing up was an option not a right. My own parents did not pay for my schooling but I have a few degrees. I wonder if that was because I saved up for it after working a few years? I guess it was evil of my parents to make me believe that working was not a burden.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
But I still believe it is a parent's greatest responsibility to get their children off to a good start in life, whether that means college or not.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 62

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:33:57 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Like I said, things are different now. College tuition in my state goes up 17 percent per year, and will continue to do so. Like I have already said, it is an unbearable burden to start out life with a 100k of student loans. And if you want to "work a few years" before you go, you may be working a good long time, if tuition keeps going up like that. Assuming you can get a job in the first place. Things aren't like they were 5, 10 or 20 years ago. Now, adorkable is going to point ut that she did it, last year, apparently by taking out loans and working. Good for her, but I wonder how she will feel after she has been paying them bck for a while. My loans from law school were 600 bucks a month. That is pretty burdensome, when you consider the job market.
So, nothing you can do about your parents, misso, but I hope you do better with your own kids.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 63

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:35:53 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

The OP is hopeless, unless he changes his attitude. I felt bad for him until he said he was too fat to join the military, but he was "trying" to do something about that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I continue to believe that kid's now are going to have very different lives than we did. Tere are some profound and lasting changes happening in this country, and a college education is probably not going to be the answer. But I still believe it is a parent's greatest responsibility to get their children off to a good start in life, whether that means college or not. So Lizi, that is wonderful that "you made lemonade" so to speak, but the fact is, your parents failed you. Bit you already knew that, based on what you said about your dad. Plus, if the OP has a medical condition like he claims, then I cN't imagine how his family could just let him suffer, regardless of his age. Families sacrifice for ech other, and a child's health should be more important than a move to Hawaii. There is more to being a parent than changing diapers and then kicking the kid out the door when he is 18.
However, the OP is kind of a victim, and I can kind of see how his parent's may have given up. It would be interesting to know how he actually did in school when he was there. I don't believe a parent is required to throw good money after bad. The child also has to do their part, and it doesn't sound like he is. Even in his posts, there is always some excuse. DES, I already told him about the dental school at Indiana University (go Hoosiers! I'm an alum). He "mumbled" some excuse. I think he expected to be told about a magic pill that solved all his problems.

I agree with you. Sorry I have to run and will come back to this, but I agree with you. My main point is that he didn't get that from his parents and how can he deal with that now? I have 2 sons I'm putting through college right now, I take parental responsibility extremely seriously and I am WELL aquainted with the present conditions of society today as opposed to how things were when I took care of things myself - I know they are two different things. My point is what can the OP do now?

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 64

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:37:11 AM

mushroomchicken

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/12/2010
Status: offline

Try here

http://www.iusd.iupui.edu/patient-services/free-or-low-cost-dental/

(in reply to wolvenreign)

Post #: 65

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:37:42 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

OP: Do you have a "plan" for the day after the parents move? Have you even thought about that? I've been "near" homeless. NOT a good place to be, let me tell you. Couch-surfing gets real old very quickly. And "old" on both sides of that deal.

------------------

Different topic:

quote:

ORIGINAL: wolvenreign
Nah, that wasn't anger. I just figure that's what this is at the moment, lol. If nothing else, I can try to be entertaining.

Somebody above said "depression" and that's about as depressed a post as I've read in a long time. Get thee to free clinic and see if you can get anti-depressents for clinical depression.

Even though some lay-persons deny it exists, there IS clinical depression. What that means is the chemicals in your body are fucked with a symptom of depression. Different from emotional depression which tends to pass and has an obvious cause (such as a good friend dying.) A psychologist student suggested Paxil - under her supervisor, of course. I was seeing her on sliding scale. BUT! I did my research - early, early days of Google and decided on St.John's Wort because I couldn't afford Paxil, etc.

Until I was on St. John's, I couldn't even "lift my head" to look around. You sound clinically depressed to me, but I'm not a doctor, of course, but that herb WORKED.

Liquid form to start - gets up the level needed. Tastes like poison, but it gets chemicals into your system faster than tablets. After liquid, then switch to tablets. HEY! That "tastes like poison" helps a depressed person take it, if you get my drift.

ETA: I've NEVER lost my sense of humor, even when very, very depressed - add lover dying in my arms of AIDS to the clinical depression - hugely depressed - JUST LIKE YOU - But! Sense of humor was still there - JUST LIKE YOU! Depression and humor are NOT at opposite ends of a continum. I had to realize my sense of humor did NOT mean I wasn't depressed.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/30/2011 9:26:47 AM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 66

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:38:17 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

FR:

Since I live quite close to Indy, I have to put my 3 cents in here.

Although Indiana has a very depressed economy and has had for the last 5 years (the smaller towns are suffering) I would be very surprised if a person could not find work in Indy if they wanted it. It wouldn't be what you wanted to do at the wage you wanted to do it, but you could find work.

At 22 I assume you still live at home, and I suggest you continue to do that (once you find a job) as long as you can so you can save money. Once they move to Hawaii you will be forced to be on your own (a good thing in my opinion) and will qualify for more medical and dental help.

If the OP has any kind of goal for being a viable adult, that means not going from his parent's tit to the government. He needs to take care of himself and he has an uphill battle before him, since it's clear he's a long way away from taking responsibility for himself.

Think of this, OP: Some people have no job, no funds, no schooling, tons of medical problems, and they don't have indulgent parents to feed and cloth and house them. Life has some tough lessons for you to learn, I strongly suggest you start now.

_____________________________

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 67

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:41:45 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
I continue to believe that kids now are going to have very different lives than we did. There are some profound and lasting changes happening in this country, and a college education is probably not going to be the answer to life that it used to be.

I agree that there are profound changes happening in our world, but I don't agree with your interpretation of what effect they'll have on us.

I live in the United States, and here, we have moved to what is being called an "information society". We no longer manufacture things. So education has become far MORE important, not less so.

In the past, people used to be able to have successful blue collar careers in America. They could go to work in the auto factories, or the steel mills, or the many other manufacturing plants that littered America's business horizon. Those days are gone.

Today, investing in education is far more important. Viable careers are now in high tech industries, or health care, or other growing segments. Most of these REQUIRE college level education. Even jobs like being a mechanic require greater training than they used to. Cars are no longer simple machines that you can learn to fix in your back yard. Today, cars are computers. Working on them without proper training will void the warranty.

I do agree with you that paying for college degrees in areas like philosophy, history, psychology, and the arts, may prove to be a difficult investment to get a ROI on. But that doesn't change the fact that education is more important than ever. It simply means that you have to be more prudent in choosing a college major.

But without some form of higher education, you are sentencing yourself to a permanent position in the economic underclass.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 68

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:46:41 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Yeh my loans were hefty and I did not enjoy paying them back. Particularly since I don't work in a field having anything to do with my degrees. And you know what? Out in the job market in the many jobs I have had since and during college I saw a LOT of college educated, loan drenched, former graduates with degrees up the wazoo.. working in regular jobs. One guy I met was a former professor, shoving freight at walmart. I met a nurse who was doing price change at Kmart.
School was fun, but it did not prepare me for life, my parents did.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

My loans from law school were 600 bucks a month. That is pretty burdensome, when you consider the job market.
So, nothing you can do about your parents, misso, but I hope you do better with your own kids.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 69

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:52:00 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Just a heads up here but the mechanic does not program the computer. He works using the computer. The program tells him what to do. It's pretty basic stuff. Most of the mechanics I have met in my town are not college educated but dang it.. they know what it means when the computer spits out a code.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Cars are no longer simple machines that you can learn to fix in your back yard. Today, cars are computers. Working on them without proper training will void the warranty.

It simply means that you have to be more prudent in choosing a college major.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 70

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 8:58:14 AM

RacerJim

Posts: 1583
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I'll take a real mechanic over a computer-code parts replacer any day.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 71

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 9:27:48 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

Hey guys! Drifting, drifting, drifting...............

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
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Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to RacerJim)

Post #: 72

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 10:00:05 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

Well you know, life wasn't easy in the old days either, marriage was basically an agreement to pool your resources and work together, not a meal ticket - the boomer affluence philosophy kind of changed that perception, but as far as I know, the reality is no different, you still have to hustle to get by - I've done all kinds of shit, and I'll do damn near anything if I can get paid for it - and I never have a problem finding a job - a nice cushy job with bennies? Not always, but I wasn't raised to be afraid of getting my hands dirty, fuck I'll sell Burritos if I have to.

Anyway, my perception is the opposite of the OP, seems like all I see is young'un's, most of the older women around here are church ladies and NCB's, or looking for the proverbial meal ticket - I have to compete with the oilfield, which is up and down, but when it's up, those guys make big money, so it makes a smaller, but secure income, which otherwise might sound more appealing, less so.

i.e., I have the basics covered, but if you want perq's, you have to be willing to work for them.

Anyway, like I said, I've mostly worked construction, but I've done everything from yardwork to maintenance, to janitorial - I know a few affluent seeming couple who moonlight cleaning offices and the like at night for extra money, everybody like to put on the successful front, the stable 9 -to-5, but the reality is you gotta do what you gotta do to make ends meet, the 9-to-5 is nice if you can get it, but unless you're a Banker, it's probably not enough to live on - 2-income households are the norm, not the exception: single-wage-earner households make up the bulk of impoverished households, one income just isn't enough for Two people, it's barely enough for One.

'Course with the art, I could probably support a sub to just lay around naked all day and pose for me, if she was an exhibitionist - I'm always on the lookout for Two birds to kill with one stone.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 73

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 10:53:58 AM

wolvenreign

Posts: 40
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline

Ah, the level of responses to this was much greater than I had anticipated! Thanks, everyone, for your kind and constructive comments. I really do appreciate the level of feedback here.

I do wish to address an underlying current of thought which seems constant throughout many replies; the sentiment that I am being "negative", or that I am actively attempting to give up. I had honestly not anticipated that I would need to reveal so much of my admittedly rather bleak situation. I will tell you this, though; I have done nothing more than paint an accurate picture of my life and where it stands, although I have left out some details. I am not attempting to make excuses; these are venues I have already pursued. It is not a matter of excusing myself from attempting them, simply that they have already been attempted. Notice that if I haven't attempted a venue, I have openly admitted as to so (such as the case with ICC). Furthermore, I would like to explain that I haven't posted what I've been posting in a complaining or whining manner. I have simply stated the facts. If it is really necessary, I'd be glad to share more and what it is I'm doing about my weight (and how I got it in the first place). Upon request, though, I don't want to give out more than I really should.

Oh, and I had recently explored the low-cost dental option. Thing is, this is oral surgery. Like, the kind that I'd need to be put out for. They said they wouldn't do it, unfortunately. Man, and I thought I might be on to something there!

@Iamsemisweet: Forgive me if I am misunderstanding you, but are you saying that you stopped sympathizing with me when you found out that I was overweight? And if you're that curious about what it is I've been attempting to do about it, I have been visiting a gym and pursuing a rather harsh routine. 5 consecutive running laps, benching of 175 pounds for 70 reps, 300 pushups, and 5 laps of swimming before I leave. I am actually very capable, physically, except for a bum leg with an out-of-place tendon. It hurts sometimes, but I try to get back to my routine regardless. As far as why I am overweight, you can thank a childhood of isolation with no motivation to do anything physical. It is something my father attempted to rectify by taking me to hike every mountain but two (El Paso and Whale's Peak) in the San Diego region at the age of 13. I did manage every assigned peak, and was at one point almost fit, but....then we moved back to Indiana. And the isolation continued.

Folks, I totally understand that positivity is what you want to see from forum threads, and from any given form of entertainment. In point of fact, entertainment seems to be what really speaks to people, in my experience as a writer and roleplayer. Just remember; sometimes the straight facts aren't positive. I'm not being openly negative about this whole thing, either. I'm just saying; maybe a bad situation is just BAD.

Now, on the other hand, there might be a way for you all to help me out. If you care to, or if you have the connections, let me know if you know any voice acting studios. I have a demo prepared. I know it probably won't be STEADY income, persay, but any money that I can get my hands on at all will help greatly. For example, if I were to raise, say, 150 dollars from even one gig, I would be able to reinvest that into CPA+PPC internet marketing, which can really bring in the big bucks if you study the information properly.

Couple of other problems, in case you were curious. I have intense all-season allergies and a skin problem which makes it incredibly difficult to do anything for five seconds without scratching myself somewhere. I'm as ashy as an African American, lol. Ah, and lastly is the fact that I've hit my head on pavement too many times (slipping on ice and the like), and now I have a really bad short term memory. The reason I mention all this is so as to put it out there, so it doesn't seem like some excuse or just a counter to someone's helpful advice. Things I do not have: Cerebral palsy, down's syndrome, and much much more. =P

< Message edited by wolvenreign -- 9/30/2011 11:04:29 AM >

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 74

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 11:06:49 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Only skimmed half the thread, so to the OP I'll just say:

You got 99 problems, but finding a bitch shouldn't be one.

Fix yourself up, you're expending your energy on the wrong things. Find work, money, finish the education, fix the health problems... that's more than a hefty load without trying to find some ideal kink delivery service for yourself. I see a lot of excuses, and no mention of positive traits about your life... why would anyone want to be part of a sinking ship?

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but that is exactly what came to mind, your life is sinking like a ship full of holes and you can't fathom why no one wants to get on board.
You ask for help and that can be good, but eventually you reach a point where all the good advice and references won't do a lick of good unless you start helping yourself.

I can't speak on what may or may not be available down in the states, I live in canada, but I know first hand if you need medical help or education you can get it, there are loads of organizations who's purpose are to help with these problems, because thousands, tens of thousand of people suffer the same situations. If you looked for them you'd find them... The impression I get from your posts is that you're waiting for someone to hand you the solutions, that's being a follower, not a leader.

(in reply to wolvenreign)

Post #: 75

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 11:27:54 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

God damn! This brings back some years with teenagers and mine weren't even close to this and its irritating.

Young man... get off your ass and pull out a lawn mower and go visit some of the elderly people around you and start picking up a few bucks mowing some lawns of people that can't afford lawn care, but can afford a few bucks for your help. Get active physically and stop thinking like a teenager.

Who has been paying for your gym visits? Screw that, get out there and start doing some labor. Work for free to prove you will work... then someone might see a hard worker and good spirit and give you more work.

You want help getting the type of work you want? Good lord! I would head you to the quickest McDonalds or volunteer center... to show you how to work. Your work ethics suck. Your attitude sucks. You make excuses and I wonder if your parents have made excuses for you as well. Still you can overcome if you wish to and stop looking for the job of choice and a hand out.

No wonder your parents want to move to Hawaii! They know they fucked up and can't face the music anymore because you simply will not do for yourself. I wouldn't be running... I'd be putting you out on the street, while I was still in town to catch your ass if you really fell... but that food, clothing and housing would dry up until you got your ass out there and took any kind of job.

Another kid... man... that really needs a dominant putting him through the paces... if one could be found to take this much shit on.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 76

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 11:36:22 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wolvenreign

I had already checked my options, and Sallie Mae absolutely refuses to lend me enough money to go another semester without my parents signing a loan of their own. And my parents won't do it.

Heh, sorry, not just trying to be stubborn. That's truthfully how much of a rut I'm in. I would've liked to be a computer scientist. Guess that's not happening. =/ I'm studying Java at home as it is, but I have no idea whether or not that'll go anywhere.

I suppose the conclusion of this is that I shouldn't be looking for a sub. It is kind of sad, though. Oh, and on the side, (and you may find this funny), I have been to a play party before. Everyone one else was getting some, but I was left rather...alone. The farthest I got was to rub some old woman's tits for half an hour while she talked to someone else during the whole thing. Acted bored and left to go get a spanking.

Gah, makes me think it's this place. There's just something about it which drives young'uns like me away. Maybe it's the sports bars and churches around every corner. (They're more common than McDonalds, and Indiana is America's second fattest state) Maybe it's the fact that there's nothing interesting to do or see. Maybe it's the huge, HUGE focus on sports (all I ever hear about from my fellow Hoosiers is "Duhhhh, Go Colts!". Grr.) Maybe it's because no one wants to spend the rest of their lives in this rathole.

Well, anyway, this has gotten kinda-sorta off topic. My apologies.

This is as far as I can stand to read. You are coming across like a weak, whiny, sniveling little immature bint! Go get a fucking job, TWO jobs! I don't care what they are, what kind of un-cool work they ask you to do but fucking grow the fuck up! Take responsibility for yourself instead of whining "oh pooooooooooorrrrrrr meeeeeeeee.......mommy and daddy won't take care of poooooorrr wittlllllllllle meeeeeeeee" Fucking hell what you are writing is disgusting and pathetic. Be very VERY glad you are not MY son! Very glad.

You cannot take care of yourself. Do not expect any submissive/slave worth a nickle to want to hand over control to you.

Get your shit together boy.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to wolvenreign)

Post #: 77

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 11:38:11 AM

wolvenreign

Posts: 40
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline

The issues of the last three posts would likely be abated by the post I made before this one.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 78

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 11:39:48 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Um. Didnt they have GLLA in Indy, just a few months ago? Massive regional event, folks from all over the country, all that?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to wolvenreign)

Post #: 79

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. - 9/30/2011 11:41:16 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Dude... you never met a real parent apparently. We don't take whiny ass kids doing nothing for themselves and coddle them or fall for their little stories.

Our job is to teach you how to work life and it is work... apparently you have been allowed to be a pretty princess in your room thinking of fantasies far too long.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to wolvenreign)

Post #: 80

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