RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes!

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 3:45:00 AM

talibahh

Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

I R TEH DOMINATE. U WILL OBAY ME & DO ONLIE WHAT I/i TELL U. IF NOT THEN U/u R NOT A REEL SLAVE. U/u WILL NEVUR WEAR N E CLOTHIS & ALL WAYS B NEKKID. THAT IS WHAT A REEL SLAV BOY DOES. ALL TEH TIME. U/u WILL ALSO SEND M/me ALL OF UR/ur MONEYS B CAUSE REEL SLAVE BOYS R NOT ALLOWID 2 OWN N E THING. U WILL B COLLARID & BRANDID. ON TEH FORE HEAD. B4 WE MEET.

WHEN EVER U/u RITE 2 ME U/u WILL ALL WAYS HAVE A CUCUMBER UP UR/ur BUTT. A REELY BIG 1. WITH WASABI RANCH DRESSING. AND CROUTONS. THIS IS A SEEKRIT VICTORIAN RITUAL OF M/my ANCENT DOMINATRIX HOUSE. WHICH HAS BEEN KEEPING & TRAINING REEL SLAVES FOR 100 YRS. B CAUSE REEL DOMMES DONT EAT QUICHE. ONLY SALAD.

I KNOW THE 159 REEL SLAVE RULES WHICH R THE ONLY REEL SLAVE RULES WHICH EVERY BODY SHOULD KNOW. IF U/u WANT 2 KNOW THEM U/u WILL SUBMITE 2 ME. I AM TEH ONLY REEL DOMINATE ON THIS SITE. U/u R NOT ALLOWID 2 EVER TALK TO ANY BODY ELSE OR QUESTIUN M/me. U/u MUST DELET EVERY BODY ELSES MAIL W/OUT READING IT. B CAUSE EVERY BODY ELSE HERE IS JUST A FAKE. THEY ARE NOT REEL LIKE ME. U BE REEL 2 AND SUBMITE 2 M/me. ALL OF YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

ROFLMAO... This is way too funny...just spat my water out all over the screen... oh well! It needed cleaning anyway...

tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 81

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 4:02:05 AM

talibahh

Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: ravn
If You do not obey any order the skin will be stripped from your back with an 8 foot long single tail whip as i'm fucking your dirty whore ass. (Yes, i've received that)

Um....I've fucked asses and I've used an 8 foot singletail....but doing both at once to the same person? That would be a wee bit awkward to say the least!

impossible don't matter. The perfect dom could do it anyway. Maybe he In cyberspace, of course, minor details like something being physically could just stand on a chair. LOL

lol... or MAYBE, hes just pointing out the fact that his cock is at least 15-20" long! lol...

tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 82

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 4:10:35 AM

talibahh

Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline

Sorry... but You got it all wrong Dogobediance... You dont need to say anything... all You need is a blank profile, stating You are Dom and have a big cock pic... that gets me in every time...

... or if You do say something, it only needs to be a one-liner like * u will be my slut and b lucki enuff to worship my cock*

cheekily,
tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to talibahh)

Post #: 83

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 4:50:19 AM

kalibana

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

As soon as we meet you will help me find your replacement/sister slave

....

finds this funny SIR, --or what about this--

"Oh, find me the girl who is every thing Your not, the perfect girl.. you wont be replaced, even if she is exactly everything i have been looking for forever...I made a long term commitment to OWN you forever.. that will never change. If you dont like her, then i will get rid of HER, not you"
hehehe..heard that one for real SIR...believe it??

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 84

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 10:27:02 AM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

My property should not worry ever.......if i wanted you to find a sister/REPLACEMENT then I would have changed your profile from day one...........

RELAX,MY kali, I AM HAPPY AND PROUD TO OWN YOU FOREVER . Remember, you must like her FIRST, if not she is GONE!!! I know what is out there, you of all people know of the many many I have trained and or put under consideration, and owned. .

I am VERY HAPPY with my CAPTURE AND MORE SO WITH EACH AND EVERY PASSING DAY!!!!!!! A PROUD OWNER AND HIS GREAT PROPERTY!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to kalibana)

Post #: 85

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 10:35:24 AM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

YEA ARE PICS LOOK SIMILAR.......BECAUSE ALL OF US DOMS USE THE SAME PICS, someone else is using the brad pitt one, next week I will use your pics , you can use mine.........the slaves bitches never look, they simply READ AND OBEY, THEY REALLY ARE LUCKY TO BE OWNED BY ANY DOM ANYWAY.......OH DO NOT WORRY THEY NEVER READ THESE POSTS..........THEY ARE ON THEIR KNEES WORSHIPING COLLARME AND OBEDIENTLY WAITING TO BE OWNED!!!!!!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 86

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 11:06:49 AM

littlesubjess

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/2/2006
Status: offline

On your knees NOW slut .... and listen to me ... listen to me Gooood ...

From now on, i am your Master .... you will do as i say ... you will never disobey, and when i want, with you i will play ....

You must come to see me <400 miles away>, before the close of this week.... i will await you in my luxury townhouse that IS a mansion ... i shall collect you from the station in one of my 5 sports cars.

In the mean time, you will send me sordid pictures of yourself, your telephone number, and you msn/yahoo addresses, where you shall perform whatever tasks i set for you, on a daily basis, on webcam. i also expect a journal to be written every week without fail. without this, you shall be severly punished. i will punish you online if i have to.

I am a senior pilot for BA. i am so good, i dont wear a uniform ... i wear my own clothes. if you should be accepted as my slut, you shall clean Masters clothes each day for him, whist tied up and chained. you will clean the floors, the bath, and the oven with your TONGUE and when we go shopping, you shall be naked. in winter, your Master permits a thin see thru top with no bra.

when i get hold of you, whore, i will insert the biggest toy i have, up your anus, until you bleed, you bitch ....

email me back NOW and make sure you are kneeling, with your eyes down, and hands behind your back !!!

Your Master

lol ... closely modelled on an email i recently received
jess xxx

< Message edited by littlesubjess -- 5/26/2006 11:08:40 AM >

_____________________________

And on the eighth day, He created Jessica ...

Anything is possible if you try hard enough ...... xxx

Only the one who hurts you can make you feel better. Only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away.

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 87

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 11:10:31 AM

Mollena

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/22/2005
Status: offline

Sign me up!!

NOT.

~Mollena

(in reply to littlesubjess)

Post #: 88

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 12:34:13 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

DAMN.......was it the no uniform part WHERE I MESSED UP......ok I will deleate that part,,,,,,and remail..................THEN I KNOW YOU WILL BE MINE and drop the poser dom you think you have !!!!!!!! lol..............GV jet on the way

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to littlesubjess)

Post #: 89

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 12:36:07 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

inside FACT, any girl who does not reply is really a man!!!!all of us dums.....ops doms know that!!!!!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to Mollena)

Post #: 90

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 4:24:38 PM

MistressSonya

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

I had an email once.. and all it said was
OBEY
now that email made me get to my knees..LOL

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 91

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 5:34:30 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

IS THAT WHY YOU NEVER WROTE BACK!!!!!!!u were on your knees and could not type a reply.........DAMN!!!!!........ok one time OBEY........i even shake righting (mis spled) that.......WOW soooo powerful!!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to MistressSonya)

Post #: 92

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 6:07:37 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

u wil never have orgasms again, well one time per year for xmas.......after all slaves derive pleasure for the act of giving pleasure................u r a REEL slave?

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to talibahh)

Post #: 93

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 7:56:04 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

tooo many options.........suck, punish..........i am a dom do not make me make decisions!!!!!!!

What the hell was I thinking? Of course I am supposed to do your thinking for you also.

Bad me. . . bad me.

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 94

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 8:21:34 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

sometimes slaves have it bad.......train themselves...........top from the bottom......wow

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 95

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 8:40:12 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

sometimes slaves have it bad.......train themselves...........top from the bottom......wow

Oh no! You have found me out. I am not a true slave. Just a player. I am off to go sit myself in the corner and worship your pic for topping from the bottom.

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 96

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 8:49:24 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

did I give u permission to do that?...............sorry IF somebody comes out of the wood work and says you are his.........sorry to step on any little toes!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 97

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 8:51:27 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

u r lucky to have been picked by me, after you sgn my power of at turn knee, them i will tell your parents that you r now mine

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 98

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 8:54:10 PM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

This is hilarious. Thought I had gotten some good one's before but some of these take the cake.

The usual I get is "on your knees bitch"

~shy

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 99

RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! - 5/26/2006 8:55:07 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

ok girls I need more, girls are waiting for the perfect dom

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to dogobedience)

Post #: 100

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes!

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078