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Arpig -> RE: Who wants to be absurd? (10/26/2011 8:42:27 AM)
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One afternoon late in the month of Scanduary, The Mariboo went to tea with Lord Halifax. They rode in a fine coach drawn by 6 semen-white industrialists of the finest lineage, each being sired by the illustrious and infamous Carnegie himself. Upon arrival, Lord Halifax turned to The Mariboo and said, "Well bluster and buggery old bird, snazled and titwalloped if we haven't arrived, who, what, who."
To which The Mariboo eloquently replied, "Squaaaaaaaaaaaack!"
With that the two descended heavily from the coach and tossed the coachman 3 piglets' snouts as payment, being both wealthy and generous. And then they entered the mighty club, a fine example of late rigatonian architecture and long a symbol of opulence, decadence, and flatulence. Once seated the waiter slithered up and lifted the visor of his helmet to take their order.
"Tea! Twice over, hot enough to scald Boney's bum from Glasgow", commanded Lord Halifax imperiously.
"Squaaaaaaaaaaaack!" added The Mariboo for emphasis.
The waiter cleared his long swanlike throat, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhem" and replied in a voice of purest lapis lazuli, "Tea we have not. Boots though, we have in plenty Madame."
"Boots?, What is the meaning of this? How can one have tea with boots?" blustered Lord Halifax in a voice both whispery and dense.
"Squaaaaaaaaaaaack!" added The Mariboo for emphasis.
"Why not ask him yourself" replied the waiter, gesturing nostalgically towards the mantle littered with figurines of cut glass spokane where the club cat lay studiously ignoring everybody whilst sharpening his claws on an unfortunate Hindoo.
Flummoxed by this trickery and the depth of the wisdom of the waiter's words, Lord Halifax had no choice but to acquiesce. And so it was that, humbled and feeling less than bulbous, he ordered the chicken parmigiana.
The Mariboo chose the frog's legs.
On the mantle the cat smiled an enigmatic smile to nobody in particular and thought loudly to himself, "Old fool of an architectural abstract, my name is Socks!"
To which The Maribou added "Squaaaaaaaaaaaack!", again, just for emphasis.
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