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RE: How did you get your title? - 5/28/2006 10:41:51 AM

Divinesub

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

Thank you Dragon Diver,

That generally was my question. There is another thread started in the General section about the popularity of BDSM. And I believe that because BDSM has become so popular that you have these people that become part of the community without any soul searching . So you have people that saw something, heard something or read something that appeared cool to them and so that thought it would be fun to emulate. So they give themselves grand titles and demand that respect be given because they now have the title.

When I mentioned that a submissive gives him the title - it was more of a sign of respect thing. Such as he is Daddy or "Joe" but when introducing him she with pride introduces him as "Sir Grand Lord Master Joe".

I have noticed, at least in my metropolitan area that a lot of "DOM's" are self-appointed and have no idea how to actually be a DOM. They believe that if they are able to call a submissive a "whore and mount her/him", then they now qualify. They have no sense of integrity or honor about the position. I can tell you horror stories about DOM's in my area and thankful that aren't all first hand knowledge. There are people calling themselves DOM's on house arrest, unemployed, DL, living with their mothers, cheating on their wives, stealing from their submissives, etc.

My question was more of a general question to see how many people really thought about the dynamics of this lifestyle versus just becoming a part because they enjoyed some aspect of it.

(in reply to DragonDiver)

Post #: 41

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/28/2006 10:03:24 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Anybody who claims these titles is a bit of a fool....a "master" is called whatever he wishes to be called by his sub, and any attempt to claim that as some sort of title that anybody else should respect in any way is asinine.

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 42

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/28/2006 10:40:20 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Here we go again with the judgments. Let's start another thread bashing all the self proclaimed named submisisves and slaves. So anyone with sub or slave in their online name can get equal treatment.

Seriously - Who cares?

Anyway, my Master is Master because he Masters me. He rules me. He owns me. He was training me and I asked if I may call him Master because it felt right. We both knew we were coming to a point when he would soon own me, at which point he would be my Master. I met him in Yahoo. His nickname there did not have Master in it. His nickname on another site does, but not as a title. And it does because that is who he is. He is a Master - of me. (Actually I told him I didn't like that other name so much and he laughed)

Call it assinine. Call it a fake. Call it insincere. Call it what you want. (just don't call me in the morning...) But to judge someone you don't know based on a name? Seriously folks...I thought we were better than that.

Okay now I'll go find another thread that generalizes the population and forms opinions around that...

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 43

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 2:09:42 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Most give themselves these titles and you are wise to be wary of most who have them.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 44

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 2:27:51 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I am Dominant in nature... so far no-one has had to ask what side of the dynamic I'm on when at a munch or the like... for some strange reason they seem to be able to tell.

Wouldn't really make it any more obvious if I stuck a lable saying "Master", "Sir" or Allmighty grand high poobah" on my forehead.... but it might make me look like an idiot with a lable on his head!

From a girl who professes to be Gorean, I 'expect' (But not demand) to be called Master as that is part of the Gorean culture that she subscribes to.

From a girl (not mine and not Gorean) who respects me and wishes to do so I prefer Sir (rather than any other term)

My girl feels comfortable refering to me as Master, which is fine.... if she refered to me as something I wasn't fine with then I would change it.... but MY girl is the only one I am in a position to demand anything of.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 45

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 2:34:33 PM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

To most that know Me online... I'm simply TC... those that know Me a little better.. via phone, or real life meetings.. they use My given name.. either Trav or T.R.... My girl calls Me Master.. not because I order her to do so, simply because thats what she wishes to call Me... and I can't remember the thread, but I recall posting somewhere on here about this topic before and how I hate being called "Sir".. only because I don't see Myself as being that old. The only time I "expect" a girl to call Me "Master" is if she claims to be a trained Gorean slavegirl... in which case.. they should abide by the rules that they agreed to play by when they entered into thier slavery.

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 46

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 3:18:31 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

*giggles*

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The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 47

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 3:28:14 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

roflmao thank you for the smile

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 48

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 3:37:07 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

*smiles* Unfortunatly you will have to get used to Sir then... *smiles*

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

(in reply to darkslife)

Post #: 49

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 3:48:15 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Divinesub
When I mentioned that a submissive gives him the title - it was more of a sign of respect thing. Such as he is Daddy or "Joe" but when introducing him she with pride introduces him as "Sir Grand Lord Master Joe".

I'm sorry, but an introduction like that would give me a bad case of the giggles.

Anyhow, *I'M* the Grand High Holy Pooh-bah Master Domly-Dom Alpha Elder Sir Whatzit of the Known Universe. So there. All REAL submissives have to address me thusly from now on. Or else I'll punish all of you severely. Really I will. Um, as soon as my Mommy lets me use her AOL account again.

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 50

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 5:49:37 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Divinesub

After being in the lifestyle a while, I realize that there are different titles like, Sir, Master and my personal favorite, My Lord. But how are these arrived? Do you just wake up one morning and decide that you are a DOM and therefore need a title that let's everyone know that or was it given to you by a submissive after much care and love?

I will admit to being jaded at this point - however, the most sincere DOM's that I have met haven't had these titles. They are simply "Joe". The submissives always grant them the title.

"Master" makes sense to me, as it refers to:

a male;
an owner or keeper of a slave or animal;
a skilled practitioner in a trade or art.

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 51

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 8:07:00 PM

Skuggi

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline

I don't use a title, I find it silly to be honest since it doesn't tell anything about me.

In my scene in little fluffy Iceland - I earn my respect from both other dominating people, switches and submissive people.

I'm honest about everything and to be totally honest, I wouldn't trust a "LORD" or a "MASTER" if I didn't get to know them.
Same goes for submissive people and people have to equially earn my respect.

This title-thing is overrated and well, people should simply drop those titles out of the bdsm scene.

But this is just my opinion.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 52

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 8:47:21 PM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

In another forum I get called MeanieButt or sometimes even the Grand MeanieButt. I have never insisted on Sir or Master from a sub, but my sub does use 'Sir' when its the way she feels. It comes from the heart - not a demand - and so it has a special meaning when she does so ... its when she is at her most submissive.

I have also been called 'Sir' by other submissives - sometimes because their own Dom insists on this level of respect from their sub - and its not for me to question that choice. I have been called 'Sir' by subs that I have mentored, but it was their choice and so taken as a sign of respect.

In online forums and chatrooms we don't have the facility to show body language, and so while we never see subbies running around calling all doms sir or master at a munch or other bdsm gathering, we do see it on online. I most certainly do not believe someone deserves the title of sir or master simply because they put a CAPS in their nick, and I make a point of ignoring the Sir or Master part of any nick that includes it.

Brosco

(in reply to Skuggi)

Post #: 53

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/29/2006 8:52:10 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Divinesub

After being in the lifestyle a while, I realize that there are different titles like, Sir, Master and my personal favorite, My Lord. But how are these arrived? Do you just wake up one morning and decide that you are a DOM and therefore need a title that let's everyone know that or was it given to you by a submissive after much care and love?

i earned it. after 4 years of serving someone that showed me the proverbial "ropes".

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 54

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/30/2006 4:24:03 AM

Divinesub

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

Dammit, you owe me a new keyboard for that Najakcharmer. That is exactly my point. Real DOM's don't need the titles, the titles are given as the respect is received. I promise you every on this site that I have met that has listed themselves as "Grand Master, Lord of All, bow down now biatch" has been anything but a true Dominant.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 55

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/30/2006 4:43:29 AM

afterthought

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

What is the proper way to address a letter to a potential Dominant? "Sir" or "Ma'am" or is that too forward? Be kind....I am new to this!

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 56

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/30/2006 6:52:12 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote]ORIGINAL: afterthought
What is the proper way to address a letter to a potential Dominant? "Sir" or "Ma'am" or is that too forward? Be kind....I am new to this!

[/quote]
You can start with whatever you want and then ask "is there a way you prefer to be addressed?" and then do what they want unless it's egregiously inappropriate, in which case you should just stop contact all together.

Use the same manners you would if you were in a vanilla situation.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to afterthought)

Post #: 57

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/30/2006 10:45:32 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkslife

It appears on my birth certificate - David.

My girl calls me master when shes feeling very submissive, but I dont insist on it.

Hell my response to ppl who call me sir is "Im not an officer I work for a living" (Military joke, but soon Im getting sent to officer school....need a new excuse)

i think this would be most comfortable for me. Addressing Him by His first name implies no disrespect, just familiarity. Calling Him "Master" or whatever He prefers during play/sex would be okay; i can learn not to say "O Gawd!". He, he.

pinkee

(in reply to darkslife)

Post #: 58

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/30/2006 11:08:30 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Sooooo pinkee lass, what are you going to call me before, during and after I spank your naked butt????

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 59

RE: How did you get your title? - 5/30/2006 12:12:59 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Titles to me are earned and are opportunities to convey a sense of respect. I never require anyone that is not mine to address me with any Title. Such title of "Sir or Madam" etc. is given to me by the free choice of those that give it. Not only does such title convey respect, but it also gives me a measure of a person's judgement. I am quick to consider on what basis someone addresses me with any specific title.

This past weekend I was asked by a submissive woman my protocal in how I should be addressed. She stated that she understood that the address of "My Lord" is reserved only for my girls and wanted to address me properly. I simply stated that my name is Knight and that any further address is her choice. I also quailified that anyone giving title reflects there judgement and I would question why she would address me with a title when she really didn't know me. She look at our mutual friend, a person that rarely address anyone as "Sir" and then looked a me and stated (paraphased), "she addresses you as 'Sir' and I respect her judgement, I will address you as 'Sir'".

So respect can be earned directly as I have from girls... who consented to slavehood and accepted that they will address me as "My Lord" or from my dear friends Ice, Denika and Wolfie who address me as "Sir". Or it can be earned indirectly as it occurred to me this past weekend from a good friend of Ice. Indirect acknowledgement has a different spin on it. For in truth the address actually conveys a sense of respect to my friend's judgement and establishes a standard for me to meet on my own merits and validate my friend's judgement.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Divinesub)

Post #: 60

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