ADomDoc
Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005 From: San Antonio Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: becca333 You've described a lot of people! When does a person go from being a spoilt, selfish insensitive jerk to someone with NPD, or any other syndrome or disorder? These days they put names on a whole lot of new disorders that used to just be a lack of self-control, maturity and consideration for others. But, if it is a genuine condition, I think your prediction about them is totally correct. There's a lot of people wandering the net from site to site, even from fetish to fetish, craving that attention. And when people don't bow down to them in awe, they move on because that site's not good enough. I'd hate to run across one as a Dom. They'd be the sort of Dom/me who could really mess up a newbie - and they'd be the type to grab the newbies, who didn't know any better. Well said, Becca. There certainly are a lot of folks running around out there who give themselves a title & then try to get others to validate it. And lots who profess expertise but who are doing things that are physiologically dangerous. Whether or not they are just insecure, attention seeking jerks ... or have an uncontrollable psychological disorder that needs treatment is probably a matter of degree & how much it complicates their lives (& the lives of those around them). I have never sought any sort of 'position' within the BdSm community. (BTW: What the hell happened by my vanilla ice cream cone? Now I've got 2 coins? What's that? 2 cents?) When I went public, it was merely by running the first BdSm bulletin board in a large city. Finally, some of the Top Tops thought what I had to say was interesting & invited me & my slave to a play party ... saying "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." Which was to say "put up or shut up." I'd never played in public before ... but when I walked out of that party, I was generally accepted as being within the top 5 Doms in that large city. I wasn't just talk ... I know what I'm talking about and know how to push the limits & play heavily but safely. I once went to a munch with my sub, and, being well-acclaimed in that city for quite a while, I noticed a line of people form to meet my sub (who was on the other side of the room). She was well-known on the BBSs & had lots of friends, so that's what I figured it was all about. I continued my chat w/ friends ... then my sub came up with someone who wanted to be introduced. I'm the sort of guy that anyone can approach, say Hi & poke out their hand to shake, and I'll be happy to chat with you. But I found out later that the receiving line was people who all wanted introductions to me but were afraid to approach me. And, frankly, though I chuckled, I thought this was really wierd! So the "system" seems to feed folks who want or need the acclamation. About that time, I could also walk into a particular nightclub where they'd have weekly BdSm bulletin board members gather ... and the place would hush ... because they somehow thought there would be some sort of territorial clash between me & another self-proclaimed Dom. I'd just sit down & order a drink & talk w/ friends ... while the other Dom had the need to be the center of attention & hold court at the only elevated table in the place -- with multiple subs sitting on the steps at his feet. And just to jerk with the folks who thought that way ... I once sent my baby brother into the club to pick up my slave. Brother was extremely vanilla ... but I gave him a Dom name (w/o a title), & told him to swagger & command her (she was in on the joke) ... and the gossip went wild about the new handsome Dom in town validated by me. :-) I don't think anybody to date has figured out that they'd been played. (Brother recently died ... but his online name remained Matador) I've since changed major cities, and started the 1st BdSm munch in this town which is only remembered by the oldest folks who are still in the public scene. Now, being out of the public scene, I'll drop in on a munch to see friends -- & folks who remember nod, wave or chat. It's a lot more friendly than the pomposity of receiving lines! So, while some folks NEED the acclamation & love to wallow in it ... there are still plenty of us who don't seek it, & even feel uncomfortable with it. ADomDoc SanAntonio
|