Padriag
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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lisa1978
I do not know how many people are aware of a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
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The reason I bring this up is, I have had real life non D/s experience with a couple and in one case her parents tried to do an intervention for her. I was wondering if anybody else has seen people with this disorder try to immerse themselves as Doms or Masters?
Nothing I could say was a documented case, but a few I have suspected of it. Its somewhat predictable, particularly if you consider Festinger's theory of cognitive dissonance. Simply put, the person has an idealized image of themselves that has become central to their identity. Faced with a reality that does not agree with this self image, they must either accept reality (and the painful consequences to themselves resulting) or avoid it. One predictable method of avoiding reality is to attempt to structure their environment in such a way as to avoid this, avoid anyone who will disagree with their opinion. A Master/slave or D/s relationship may appear as an excellent vehicle for this. It is also likely predictable that such an individual will assume anyone outside of their "circle" is not of consequence and therefore can be ignored (they may rationalize that all "vanilla" people are simply ignorant of their lifestyle and therefore not fit to judge them, and then go on to screen out even large segments within the lifestyle following a similar logic to get rid of anyone who disagrees by invalidating their opinion). However, its also probable that such a person might very well not be satisified by their slave's opinion (since they will likely be so controlling they'll control even what opinions the slave can voice), and thus will seek validation from an "equal" who agrees with that self image. You can imagine the rollercoaster effect all this would have on people.
quote:
When I was active in a local community and several people I have corresponded with online have come off as very much having this disorder. I just think that maybe this lifestyle might draw people with the disorder as dominants in order to mistakenly find a sub or a slave to worship them and feed their addiction.
Keep in mind you should take most things you encounter or read online with a large grain of salt. Its very easy for people to engage in narcissistic behavior here, even people who would normally not do so. The internet creates an environment conducive to it.
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For me personally, I am always on the look out for this, because of my regular experience with a few narcissists that can be tough and painful.
As someone else said, someone like this can be a Dom or Master, mainly because there is no other qualification for it, generally, in this lifestyle other than proclaiming that of yourself. But, such a person will not be a very good Dom or Master, and in fact will probably do very poorly. Their need to support, defend and prop up their idealized self image will inhibit them from functioning in may ways a dominant needs to to be successful. They'll have difficulty socializing with others, accepting advice, learning from others. They'll have trouble managing a submissive effectively because their perceptions will likely be distorted with irrational fears, paranoia and suspicions. They may be close minded to new ideas from others, and obsessive about seeming "perfect". In short, they'll likely be so overly obsessed with themselves they will not be able to effectively deal with the needs, emotions and behavior of a submissive... too much of their energy is focused inward.
BTW, all personality disorders are behavioral disorders. They are not genetic in cause, they are environmental in origin. They are treatable but most behavior disorders are difficult to treat. This is in part due to the problem of getting a patient to accept that they have a problem. A narcissist presents a particularly thorny problem because their very problem precludes them accepting they have a problem (it violates their self image, something they will rigorously defend). If you can ever get them to accept that much, you're more than half way there because at that point that idealized self image shatters. Then you have the mess of helping them pick up all the broken pieces of who they are.
PS: Welcome to the forums Lisa
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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