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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/27/2006 6:27:01 PM

spectreandnectre

Posts: 401
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: nebraska
Status: offline

i agree with the fact that as long as the Dominate is not out looking for those teenagers and pre-pubescent girls what two consenting adults do is their own business

_____________________________

"When I see you, the world stops as if the only purpose in life was for me to please you."

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)

Post #: 41

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/27/2006 10:51:58 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I think that if two people are playing or involved consensually, nothing is 'wrong' with it. There are many people who would have found my relationships to be appalling... that's why they were not their relationships. If age play in D/s works for two people, then wonderful.

That being said, I suppose I am one of those people who personally considers most of age play to be 'icky' in a way, which is why I will reserve the age play dynamic for others. I think I partly find it creepy because I have a little girl, and the daddy/daughter dynamic, or the thought of a grown man wanting a little girl is an unpleasant thought, and partly because it can portray such a weak or incapable side of females.

I dated a much younger male once (legal of course)... and I used to tease him that he was a 'little boy", but if he had called me mommy, I would not have appreciated it at all.

< Message edited by MistressLorelei -- 5/27/2006 10:54:26 PM >

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)

Post #: 42

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 2:05:16 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

There's a lot of parts of BDSM that aren't right for me, but I try very hard to live by the consenting-adults rule - it's not hurting anyone and they're happy so that's fine.

Ageplay isn't my thing. I can understand what needs it's filling for you, you've explained it really well. And I see how being helped and nurtured is wonderful - I could wish for more of that now and then.

The problem for me is, that I can see what you're getting from it, but what needs is it filling for him?

Ok, ok, Daddies/Uncles or whatever in agelplay relatonships aren't evil pedophiles preying on the young. I know that. I know it intellectually. But emotionally I just feel uncomfortable about it. I've dealt with too many child victims of abuse, and this is hard for me to keep in perspective.

I KNOW it's not pedophilia, I know it's not abusive, I know that it's done in love and innocent caring. But I'm just not comfortable about it.

I wish you well, you're two happy people who've found a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. I accept different strokes for different folks, consenting adults, etc. But it's just not for me, it makes me uncomfortable. And I think that's probably the reaction that a lot of people have, which is difficult for you, and I'm sorry it hurts you.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Post #: 43

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 2:34:52 AM

Gem

Posts: 100
Joined: 2/11/2004
Status: offline

Brightest Blessings

My Owner is 6 months younger than my natural father....*chuckles* I have a Daddy fetish to say the least.

The problem for me is, that I can see what you're getting from it, but what needs is it filling for him?>>>>>>

What does he get out of it, he gets to nurture, he gets to protect, he gets to love, to teach, to discpline all in the form of a loving Daddy, he gets to be what all Daddies truly are, their little girls white knight in shining armor.

I survived 10 years of day to day sexual, physical, and mental abuse from my father. My Daddy/babygirl relationship allows me o grow, to discover boundries, to feel love that is not scary and wrong, to understand that I am finally safe and truly loved.

Sometimes it is a child that speaks from whithin, when she comes out Daddy colors with her, takes her to the petting zoo, teaches her how to laugh and cry. This does not mean that he wishes to truly have an 8 year old at his side, it means that he is capable of helping the pieces inside of me grow-up in a safe place.

I am a fully grown woman, I interact as a grown woman, I have a relationship with a Man as a grown woman, he just happens to be my natural fathers age. However I needed a Daddy to teach me, to understand the little girl that is in every woman, to set boundries for me, to love and care for me, to understand there are days when I need to color, or throw a temper tantrum, or laugh at the most ridiculous things, to teach me things that only a Daddy can teach his little girl.

Blessed Be
Gem

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 44

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 2:45:51 AM

subprostration

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline

For me I just cannot wrap my mind around the whole calling him "Daddy" thing. He is not my father and the problem for me is not age play per se, it is that my mind sees more of incest play and that is what creeps me out. I have no problem with people that do it, just not my cup of tea. I remember as a kid the thought of my parents actually "doing it" was creepy enough, to let my mind wander into "playing sexually with Daddy" would just be too much of a mental image that I could not deal with!

(in reply to Gem)

Post #: 45

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 5:22:36 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

I'm one who is extremely squicky about the daddy dom thing. My own father was a one in 10 million super dad. They broke the mold after they made him. He was my daddy and the thought of calling anyone else that, especially in a sexually oriented relationship makes me want to puke.

If others like it and it fulfills needs they have more power to them. I do understand those who want a nurturing father figure as a partner. However, I had a real daddy and got all the nurturing, discipline, and love and I wish all daughters could experience with their father.

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)

Post #: 46

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 6:48:54 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morpheus07

quote:

ORIGINAL CanadianGuy

Age play has nothing to do with:

- adult babies (wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers, etc)
- incest (sex between family members)
- pedophilia (sex with little kids)
- wanting your Dad (or Mom)

I'm not sure who told you age play was "icky" or wrong. Nobody who actually understands it, especially within this community, would do that.

I'm "Daddy" to my girl, and have been since shortly after we met.

Well, you would have a strong arguement from most of the submissive little girls (not young girls BTW)I have talked to on here. And "your girl" is 16 and you are 31...So....

Exactly, I've mentioned that before; he's proudly told us he met 'his girl' when she was just 14!!! In my book that one IS a sexual predator...and totally embodies exactly what most of us say we do NOT appreciate in this lifestyle. Still, I get argument here that she's now 16 and some girls of 16 are adult enough. <sigh>

MOO

(in reply to Morpheus07)

Post #: 47

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 7:00:31 AM

Soquili

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: michigan
Status: offline

I've noted that many folks take offense at the term "Daddy" rather than at the behavior of most Daddys. Does it change the way you feel about it if you substitute Sir, or Master, or Owner for Daddy? If my little one called me Master would it change anything about how we interact? No, but it might change how some viewed the relationship. Daddy is the ultimate safe harbour, where you can always get love, trust, protection, and all the good things you want without the worries everyone has as an adult. Who wouldn't like to be childish at times with only a childs problems? No real worries about the real world, just a view that you can learn new things safely, that someone is always watching out for you, that you are always safe and loved regardless of your actions, that you can make mistakes and be sheltered from the worst life offers to everyone at times. I -love- being able to give all this and more to my little one, and can't imagine someone telling me that my actions are bad for her in any way.

If you view the actions -only- and disregard the name, and any preconcieved notions about what the Daddy relationships mean, can you still tell me you dislike what most Daddys give thier little ones? Is it the label or the actions that matter most? If we had no labels could you tell one loving relationship from another in terms of what they give us?

_____________________________

Just an old farmboy hillbilly

Still learning after all these years.

(in reply to sharainks)

Post #: 48

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 7:13:31 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soquili

I've noted that many folks take offense at the term "Daddy" rather than at the behavior of most Daddys. Does it change the way you feel about it if you substitute Sir, or Master, or Owner for Daddy? If my little one called me Master would it change anything about how we interact? No, but it might change how some viewed the relationship. Daddy is the ultimate safe harbour, where you can always get love, trust, protection, and all the good things you want without the worries everyone has as an adult. Who wouldn't like to be childish at times with only a childs problems? No real worries about the real world, just a view that you can learn new things safely, that someone is always watching out for you, that you are always safe and loved regardless of your actions, that you can make mistakes and be sheltered from the worst life offers to everyone at times. I -love- being able to give all this and more to my little one, and can't imagine someone telling me that my actions are bad for her in any way.

If you view the actions -only- and disregard the name, and any preconcieved notions about what the Daddy relationships mean, can you still tell me you dislike what most Daddys give thier little ones? Is it the label or the actions that matter most? If we had no labels could you tell one loving relationship from another in terms of what they give us?

I've got no argument with any of that - yes, it's great to have someone who is loving, caring and nurturing, and who'll let you regress to a more childlike stage and enjoy the cherishing.

But it's also a sexual relationship, and that's the bit that I'm not comfortable with. I can understand the need for the parent/child dynamic, but to me it shouldn't include sexual activity.

(in reply to Soquili)

Post #: 49

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 7:49:57 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

Perhaps those who are so offended and state sexual activity should not be a part of certain roleplays could be so kind as to leave a copy of their entire list showing which roleplays should and should not involve sexual activities?

Should Master/slave involve sex? How about Priest/nun, or Teacher/student, Cop/prisoner, and all the other roleplays that don't happen in real life???

How many are married but violate their wedding vows by engaging in BDSM sexual acts with a third party outside their marriage... yet quick to criticize?

Why should sex be a part of anything except for babymaking alone since sex is a part of 'some' criminal behaviors... if you cut the head off the snake it dies!

BDSM lifestylers criticizing or critiqueing roleplays they are not personally involved in is like getting a Car & Driver report on a car they never drove.

How many would quickly criticize Daddy/daughter, then turn right around and particiate in any other illegal roleplay (such as rape or sexual assault)?

This I've got my kink but think your's is wrong mentality, feeling so strong as to state offense and proclaim it wrong is just the type of issue the OP complained of, and rightfully so...

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 50

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 7:55:09 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

Perhaps those who are so offended and state sexual activity should not be a part of certain roleplays could be so kind as to leave a copy of their entire list showing which roleplays should and should not involve sexual activities?

Should Master/slave involve sex? How about Priest/nun, or Teacher/student, Cop/prisoner, and all the other roleplays that don't happen in real life???

How many are married but violate their wedding vows by engaging in BDSM sexual acts with a third party outside their marriage... yet quick to criticize?

Why should sex be a part of anything except for babymaking alone since sex is a part of 'some' criminal behaviors... if you cut the head off the snake it dies!

BDSM lifestylers criticizing or critiqueing roleplays they are not personally involved in is like getting a Car & Driver report on a car they never drove.

How many would quickly criticize Daddy/daughter, then turn right around and particiate in any other illegal roleplay (such as rape or sexual assault)?

This I've got my kink but think your's is wrong mentality, feeling so strong as to state offense and proclaim it wrong is just the type of issue the OP complained of, and rightfully so...

People who responded have tried to do so as openly and honestly as possible, on both sides of the question. Most of us have agreed to disagree, while respecting each other's views.

We were asked for our opinions. We gave them. Stop doing a dummy-spit because you don't like the answers.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 51

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 8:03:14 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
Stop doing a dummy-spit because you don't like the answers.

Likewise for the question

By the way, opinions do not constitute answers, only opinions. (insert cliche here)

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 52

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 8:07:36 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
Stop doing a dummy-spit because you don't like the answers.

Likewise for the question

By the way, opinions do not constitute answers, only opinions. (insert cliche here)

You ask a question.... you get an answer.
If you ask for opinions, then the answers you get will be... opinions!

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 53

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 8:20:56 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I think we're comparing apples and oranges here. While age play creeps me out a bit and is not part of my personal kink, it's not my place to judge..or to make others justify why they enjoy it. Although it's been interesting reading how individuals view the dynamic.

Adults....preying on 14....15....even 16 or 17 year old girls/boys is not age play. For the sake of courtesy, i won't expound further opinion on the latter.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 54

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 8:35:11 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

Perhaps those who are so offended and state sexual activity should not be a part of certain roleplays could be so kind as to leave a copy of their entire list showing which roleplays should and should not involve sexual activities?

Should Master/slave involve sex? How about Priest/nun, or Teacher/student, Cop/prisoner, and all the other roleplays that don't happen in real life???

How many are married but violate their wedding vows by engaging in BDSM sexual acts with a third party outside their marriage... yet quick to criticize?

Why should sex be a part of anything except for babymaking alone since sex is a part of 'some' criminal behaviors... if you cut the head off the snake it dies!

BDSM lifestylers criticizing or critiqueing roleplays they are not personally involved in is like getting a Car & Driver report on a car they never drove.

How many would quickly criticize Daddy/daughter, then turn right around and particiate in any other illegal roleplay (such as rape or sexual assault)?

This I've got my kink but think your's is wrong mentality, feeling so strong as to state offense and proclaim it wrong is just the type of issue the OP complained of, and rightfully so...

I think that if two people are playing or involved consensually, nothing is 'wrong' with it. There are many people who would have found my relationships to be appalling... that's why they were not their relationships. If age play in D/s works for two people, then wonderful.

That was part of my post to this thread, even though I followed it with it is not right for me. I think that most here who are against age play, are only against it on a personal level, and stated reasons why they are against it for them. It is not an issue of I have my kink, but yours is wrong. It's more I have my kink, and yours is wrong for me, but right for you, whether I like it, agree with it, and understand it, or not.

Giving an honest opinion to a specific question and stating why someone feels that way on a personal level, is not necessarily criticism.

Keep in mind, that most lifestylers have a moral hard limit of playing with 'minors', so when a role-play takes on this issue, it's not an area some may wish to play in. Most involved in bdsm do not have a moral hard limit of role-playing playing with slaves/prisoners, whether that would be an illegal activity in the vanilla world or not.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 55

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 8:45:32 AM

DaddiesLilGirl06

Posts: 52
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline

Yes I asked for all opinions so that I can better understand why some may feel soooo harshly. I appreciate all that has been written. Yes I remember growing up that thinking mom and stepdad for me that is having sex was like eww. But now as I am an adult. Unfortunately I did not get what I needed when I was a child. I was besically contantly terrified and lonely. My Daddy Dom/Boyfriend is the best man I have ever had in my life. He is giving me everything I need and when we are together sexually it is all purely an adult thing. No I do not act like a lil girl when sexually involved with him. I am all woman and that is all there is about that part. But for the dynamic its Daddy/lil girl. Why? Well because I have not totally grown up in my mind. I need to and he is helping me to do it this was. Ever since I have been in this relationship my nightmares about my past have deminished considerably. I dont cry as often because I do not feel the need to, I feel safe. I can make better decision about everyday living better than I used to. He is everything to me and more. I needed what he is giving to me. And he is enjoying what he is trying to help develope. Yes I still have some immaturity. I admit it. And that is because I never really got that chance to grow up normal. I never got to go to homecoming or prom because of the abuse at home. What girl wants to go to something like that in a beautiful dress with bruises. Then I dropped out of school to take care of my brothers. At 18 I took custody of both of them. I was a mom at 16. See how I need to grow up in my mind and to relive what I never got? I understand all of the opinions stated here. That is why I asked. But the problem is those who literally put others down. Stating things like, "You are a sick bitch for even thinking of doing anything like this. You shousld be shot." Why should I be put down? That is what hurts. The thing that helps me most some people condenm so harshly.

Thank you all for your opinions. It helps me to better understand.

Love and blessed be,
Dani

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 56

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 9:58:32 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

The question was why are a lot of people (even lifestylers) quick to project negativity (bias) toward a given roleplay or it's participants, in particular Daddy'daughter.

The question wasn't what are your personal biases toward Daddy/daughter roleplay. (like who cares anyway)

'I feel it's wrong' is a juror-like term with broad application (across the board)... while 'I feel it's wrong for me' narrows the scope considerably, I do agree.

While I personally don't have any interest in SCAT, I don't tell shit eaters that eating poop is wrong... I just let them eat their crap and keep an eye on my own toothbrush.

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)

Post #: 57

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 10:05:48 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

The question was why are a lot of people (even lifestylers) quick to project negativity (bias) toward a given roleplay or it's participants, in particular Daddy'daughter....

While I personally don't have any interest in SCAT, I don't tell shit eaters that eating poop is wrong... I just let them eat their crap and keep an eye on my own toothbrush.

In my opinion, the bolded statement projects as much negativity towards a 'kink' preference as many who projected negativity towards Daddy/daughter dynamics. It's all about preference, and we all have those.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 58

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 10:16:50 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy
Age play has nothing to do with:
- adult babies (wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers, etc)
- incest (sex between family members)
- pedophilia (sex with little kids)
- wanting your Dad (or Mom)

For you.

If two consenting adults want to dress up in diapers and fuck each others brains out while screaming "I'm a 3 year old. Do me Daddy!" that's A-OK by me.

I don't have any more of an issue with people role-playing their pedophilia or incest fantasies than I do with people role-playing their rape, snuff, or kidnapping fantasies. So long as there is no real victim, whatever floats your proverbial boat is ok in my book.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 59

RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 10:58:29 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

... it's been interesting reading how individuals view the dynamic.

Adults....preying on 14....15....even 16 or 17 year old girls/boys is not age play. For the sake of courtesy, i won't expound further opinion on the latter.

Thank you, after mentioning this in two different threads and not a one commenting; I was beginning to think I was the only one concerned here. Someone said the 'age of concent in Canada' IS 16...but to groom a 14 yr old child for several years IS preying by any definition; AKA pedophilia. IMHO

Interestingly, CanadianGuy has removed his picture and perhaps his profile...

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 60

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