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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 11:13:35 AM   
Soquili


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: michigan
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I don't mind the "whatever you like as long as it's SSC" folks telling me this isn't for them, for whatever reason. I agree that this should be limited to (mature?, legal?) adults as should most sex play of any sort. I -do- have problems with the folks who think "what you do is wrong, for whatever reason I choose to express, and I want you to stop becuase it's "icky" to me". Luckily I see fewer of the last group here than many other places, but no place outside ones own head is completely free of the third group. I don't understand some folks wants/needs for things I consider odd, but as long as they are SSC, and within the agreed upon boundries, it's none of my business. I hope that those in the third group will come around to my viewpoint someday, but I will not hold my breath waiting. I -like- tlaking to folks who think differently than I do, it lets me see things that I might not have considered otherwise. You need change to grow, and you can't get change without taking the chance that the change will be something other than what you desired.

_____________________________

Just an old farmboy hillbilly

Still learning after all these years.

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 12:14:14 PM   
SoquilisGirl


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/26/2006
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Hi Dani,

As another “little girl” I want to let you know that I understand you totally and don’t condemn you at all for how you and your Daddy play. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to find the kind of man you need in your life.


As for those who put you down – they either don’t understand or are jealous of the love and security you’ve found in your relationship.

I can understand why this is not for everyone. I can understand that if someone had a wonderful father or a terrible one or none at all - this kind of play might squick them. I had a good enough father, but he was a recovering alcoholic who never played with me or did any of things that a stereotypical “Daddy” should do with his little girl. He never abused me, but others did and even when he found out about it, for some reason he did nothing to stop it.

My Daddy (Soquili) makes me feel safe and protected and I know that if the man who abused me were still alive, he would suffer greatly if Daddy ever got hold of him. He’s lucky he’s dead. Just knowing that helped me a lot to get over some weird phobias I still had relating to some of the abuse that happened.

Did someone literally tell you that you “should be shot” because of how you play? Sounds like *they* need serious help.
Don’t let folks like that get to you. You know what you need to make you feel whole and happy and that is really all that matters.

Dani said: “But the problem is those who literally put others down. Stating things like, "You are a sick bitch for even thinking of doing anything like this. You shousld be shot." Why should I be put down? That is what hurts. The thing that helps me most some people condenm so harshly.”

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 12:50:16 PM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

... it's been interesting reading how individuals view the dynamic.

Adults....preying on 14....15....even 16 or 17  year old girls/boys  is not age play.   For the sake of courtesy, i won't expound further opinion on the latter.


Thank you, after mentioning this in two different threads and not a one commenting; I was beginning to think I was the only one concerned here.  Someone said the 'age of concent in Canada' IS 16...but to groom a 14 yr old child for several years IS preying by any definition; AKA pedophilia.  IMHO

Interestingly, CanadianGuy has removed his picture and perhaps his profile...


People sticking knives in other people is also not knife play... I don't associate knife play with a stabbing victim.

Perhaps that's the key to this whole thing right there... association? 

To some, Daddy/daughter roleplay is stereotyped with pedophila and apparently it's hard for them to make or maintain the distinguishment. This makes for a prime breeding ground for pedophobia.

If you associate a lifestyle roleplay as being criminal (with a victim), then that's the first thing that comes to your mind, despite your already knowing upfront that lifestyle roleplay has no crime victim.

Also there were a few references to 'my real Daddy', and associating the roleplay to them, which of course are not any part of the sexual activity of the roleplay.

The latter association usually includes a reverse notion (assume') that a Daddy/daughter role player would be prone to doing the same things or being the same way with 'his real daughter'. 

Somebody did say it right tho... apples and oranges.

I personally know a man who was twice his bride's age at their wedding, he was 26 and she was 13. They were married in 1951 and are still together today, with 9 children and 27 grand children. That's 36 good reasons why their unorthodox pairing was a good one then and still a good one now.  Perhaps he should be charged with pedophilia, rape and go to jail despite the absence of a victim.

Do be careful however, don't trust a Daddy/Dom from Utah until you know him real good.  

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 12:58:09 PM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
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While I love age play with a submissive, my wife does not, she says it is too close to having them being another one of our own children. She does however say that it is fine for others as the saying goes, different strokes for different folks and everyone is entitled to enjoy what they want as long as it is legal and does not harm anyone.


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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 2:01:35 PM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
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Daddy/littlegirl thing for me isn't the sexual or erotic part of the relationship. I do like a little plaid skirt outfit, but it only turns me on on a woman.
The part it plays in my relationships, is having one to be protective and caring for. Of course she may be quite capable of taking care of herself. But it is nice for us both when she can just let go and curl up in Daddy's love. It is an outlet for emotions that I usually keep very close due to my life experiences. I love having someone to give that part of me to completely. Knowing it is a deep part of what she also needs, and it won't be abused. An innocence of open emotions, giving and taking, that can be so lost as we grow older and cynical. In a way, maybe being Daddy also lets me give those things as openly as if I am a child. Knowing they will be recieved in childlike innocence.
There is the Dominant aspect of a littlegirl doing as she is told. And desiring to please her Daddy. But at a certain point in that aspect, Daddy/littlegirl dynamic is replaced with D/s erotic dynamic. Though we may still use the terms of Daddy and littlegirl during the erotic portions, it isn't in a pedophilic sense, but a D/s sense that still has all the love, even in the midst of very nasty fun :)
But after whatever raw kink takes place. she always knows that her loving Daddy will once again be there for her. An odd and delicate balance. Frought with opportunities for one feeling used or as so elegantly put " icky "

< Message edited by Kedikat -- 5/28/2006 2:02:26 PM >

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 2:09:28 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
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As long as there are kinky people...no...as long as there are people... there will be an ick factor involved.  i like to remind those who have the ick factor with age play that there are many who believe that BDSM is not only icky...it's abusive.  On the other side of the spectrum, there are people who like scat and even -gasp- necrophelia when W/we all know that the vast majority of O/our community would say ick to it.
 
my problem is not with those who say "ick" to anything that i do, but rather it's with those who feel the need to tell me that i am immoral as a result.  i've heard all the arguements with ageplay as well as the "Gawd, i hope you never have children" or "Stay away from my kids."  But the truth of the matter is, the people involved are presumably adults.  The lil girl or lil boy, is in all actuality an adult of sound mind and bod, PRETENDING to be little. 
 
As a society, we allow our children to play with guns and play video games that essentially kill people and things.  Ageplay, can be love.  Why censor it?  Je ne sais pas.
 
i'm babbling.  i guess what i'm trying to say here is that, if it's between two consenting adults, i say go for it.
 
-genvieve

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 5:15:02 PM   
SoquilisGirl


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kedikat

The part it plays in my relationships, is having one to be protective and caring for. Of course she may be quite capable of taking care of herself. But it is nice for us both when she can just let go and curl up in Daddy's love. It is an outlet for emotions that I usually keep very close due to my life experiences. I love having someone to give that part of me to completely. Knowing it is a deep part of what she also needs, and it won't be abused. An innocence of open emotions, giving and taking, that can be so lost as we grow older and cynical. In a way, maybe being Daddy also lets me give those things as openly as if I am a child. Knowing they will be recieved in childlike innocence.



Hi Kedikat,
I can't really speak for my Daddy, but I think he would agree with what you say. Just this morning he was acting silly and it made me realize that because he can let his guard down and act silly with his little girl, in a way I'm helping to let him experience childlike emotions too. It made me feel good because I know his childhood was much worse than mine in many ways and he never had the chance to just play and be silly. With me he can do that, and if he has to, he can pretend he's doing it just for his little girl.

quote:


But after whatever raw kink takes place. she always knows that her loving Daddy will once again be there for her. An odd and delicate balance.


This is so true for us. When he is Domming me it's very separated from when he's being my Daddy. The first time that he pushed things just a little too far and scared me, my first instinct was to cry out, "I want my Daddy!" and there he was, instantly ready to comfort me and care for me. Afterwards, we decided that would make an excellent safe phrase for me because it comes naturally to my lips and it has a profound effect on him. It brings him instantly back into being the loving, nurturing "Daddy" and he is able to give me the care I need.

Soquili's Girl




(in reply to Kedikat)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 5:51:50 PM   
Lashra


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Joined: 2/9/2006
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There's nothing wrong with it, people are just wierd sometimes in what they think is *wrong*. As long as you are both of age and enjoy what your doing and no one gets hurt, why care what anyone else thinks?

I play Babygirl to my sub when on that very rare occasion I feel subby and he is just learning the Daddy Dom ropes  Its fun and as long as we enjoy it, thats all that counts. Then when the mood passes I go back to being my usual Domme self and he goes back to being my slut

~Lashra

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 6:02:10 PM   
SweetEscravo


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I personally have no problem with general ageplay, although some aspects of it bother me such as ABs and diapers...

This kink is just like anything else though...some love it, some like it, some don't care, others hate it.  I think that ageplay is somewhat stereotyped by those outside of it...it is considered something taboo by a lot of people, and while that may be part of the turn on for some, it is also something that distences us from others in the scene.

If you like it...do it.  Don't worry about what everyone else says.

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 9:14:50 PM   
DaddiesLilGirl06


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Wow what a day of work today. It was a quiet day. I had plenty of time to think about all that has been said then to find all the newer comments on this. I really do appreciate it. It gives me all the different perspectives on what others think about it. That is what I wanted. to understand others perspectives. Wanting to find out why some judge so quickly and harshly. The thing is the respect we need for eachothers "Kinks". As long as it is between two consenting adults YES. I have never put people down for what they get into. When I first got into the scene I thought swallowing was gross. I learned as time went on men liked it. Well it took me a while to learn and acquire the taste for it and now guess what I love it. Cumm is what I am talking about.(In case some want to know) I have researched many aspects. I was scared about breast bondage then tried it. I like it. But not all the time. I just hope that soon people will understand that prejudice gets us nowhere but arguing. and thats distress. What we dont want. We want is eustress. Thats the best kinda stress we want. You know the kind that make you laugh and have fun. With the people here in this forum I thank you for your ideas and prospectives on the whole of the issue. It has helped a great deal. Again thank you for helping me to understand. Blessed be, Dani  

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/28/2006 10:08:04 PM   
MistressLorelei


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Dani... you have a wonderful outlook and attitude. 
Learning is limitless to those who believe that to be true.  Best of luck.



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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 12:53:45 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
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Most of the responses here seem to follow the same pattern that you'd get if you discussed any other part of BDSM - some people love it, some aren't bothered either way and some don't want to get into it themselves but wish the participants well.  One of the (many) good things about BDSM is that it's a HUGE field, with plenty of options to try.

Oh, and of course, as with any other thread, there's the lunatic fringe.  But every court needs a jester.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 5:31:36 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

... it's been interesting reading how individuals view the dynamic.

Adults....preying on 14....15....even 16 or 17  year old girls/boys  is not age play.   For the sake of courtesy, i won't expound further opinion on the latter.


Thank you, after mentioning this in two different threads and not a one commenting; I was beginning to think I was the only one concerned here.  Someone said the 'age of concent in Canada' IS 16...but to groom a 14 yr old child for several years IS preying by any definition; AKA pedophilia.  IMHO

Interestingly, CanadianGuy has removed his picture and perhaps his profile...


People sticking knives in other people is also not knife play... I don't associate knife play with a stabbing victim.

Perhaps that's the key to this whole thing right there... association? 

To some, Daddy/daughter roleplay is stereotyped with pedophila and apparently it's hard for them to make or maintain the distinguishment. This makes for a prime breeding ground for pedophobia.

If you associate a lifestyle roleplay as being criminal (with a victim), then that's the first thing that comes to your mind, despite your already knowing upfront that lifestyle roleplay has no crime victim.

Also there were a few references to 'my real Daddy', and associating the roleplay to them, which of course are not any part of the sexual activity of the roleplay.

The latter association usually includes a reverse notion (assume') that a Daddy/daughter role player would be prone to doing the same things or being the same way with 'his real daughter'. 

Somebody did say it right tho... apples and oranges.

I personally know a man who was twice his bride's age at their wedding, he was 26 and she was 13. They were married in 1951 and are still together today, with 9 children and 27 grand children. That's 36 good reasons why their unorthodox pairing was a good one then and still a good one now.  Perhaps he should be charged with pedophilia, rape and go to jail despite the absence of a victim.

Do be careful however, don't trust a Daddy/Dom from Utah until you know him real good.  


ND, not that I think I need to give permission, nor that you need to have it, but personally I have no problem whatsoever with the whole Daddy/girl thing in roll-play or a D/s dynamic.  I 'get' it...perhaps even find some of it attractive.  Hell, I even see the attraction to diaper play.  Still...such play by an adult with a CHILD is NOT okay in my book, the lawbook, nor Utah's lawbook.  Even the Mormon Church severed ties with those 'mormons' who practice the kind of crap you mentioned...marrying off a 13 year old child. 
 
That you held up the longtime marriage of a woman married at 13 with a large family followed by mention of Utah, leads me to believe your 'personal friend' is part of that child-molesting sect that split from the Mormon Church.  So...you give an example, but the media is full of examples of the oposite sort; where women try for years to escape such lives and children run to hiding to save theirs.  Funny too, how so many of those 'daddies' who marry such young girls also seem to like multiple wives and lots of kids but do not support them, prefering to scam the welfare system instead.
 
<shrugs>  Bottom line...my kink is no better than your kink; just keep it away from children.
 

PS...Dani, thank you for an eloquent discription of your lifestyle.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 6:41:43 AM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I believe a core nature of the "icky" -- whatever icky it may be -- is that it conjures up some unwanted desire in the people who find it "icky."

With age play I think that one desire almost always revolves around incest. That's such a common issue throughout human history that virtually all societies condemned it; they would not have had to were it not so common.

Related to this is a common misconception of fantasy: that the fantasized act is always a prelude to playing out the fantasy in the real world.

For such people, anyone involved in "age play" is either preparing to have sex with children or already is.

Misconceptions of fantasy isn't limited to this one area. Some feminists became enraged when they discovered that women had rape fantasies. Others were horrified that some women were turned on by masochistic play behavior.

There's even fear of play around the question of violence. As one person so parodied this, "I was never into violence, not even as a child. When the other kids played Cowboys and Indians I was always the Chinese railroad worker."

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)
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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 12:38:03 PM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
ND, not that I think I need to give permission, nor that you need to have it, but personally I have no problem whatsoever with the whole Daddy/girl thing in roll-play or a D/s dynamic.  I 'get' it...perhaps even find some of it attractive.  Hell, I even see the attraction to diaper play.  Still...such play by an adult with a CHILD is NOT okay in my book, the lawbook, nor Utah's lawbook.  Even the Mormon Church severed ties with those 'mormons' who practice the kind of crap you mentioned...marrying off a 13 year old child. 
 
That you held up the longtime marriage of a woman married at 13 with a large family followed by mention of Utah, leads me to believe your 'personal friend' is part of that child-molesting sect that split from the Mormon Church.  So...you give an example, but the media is full of examples of the oposite sort; where women try for years to escape such lives and children run to hiding to save theirs.  Funny too, how so many of those 'daddies' who marry such young girls also seem to like multiple wives and lots of kids but do not support them, prefering to scam the welfare system instead.
 
<shrugs>  Bottom line...my kink is no better than your kink; just keep it away from children.
 

PS...Dani, thank you for an eloquent discription of your lifestyle.


This is the truest essence of making assumptions... the 26/13 year old marriage I mentioned happened in FL, in 1951 as I previously mentioned. It was nowhere near Utah or had anything to do with any Mormons or outcast Mormon sects.

The situation dealt with lives leftover after a senseless murder of the Father, a farmer. He was shot dead with a shotgun over a wagonload of corn being stolen by a sharecropper tenant farmer, on a sunday morning after the family returned from church. The sharecropper was stealing corn while the family was at church, and upon their return the farmer hammered a nail into the gate sliding bolt to prevent the wagonload of corn from leaving until the cops were summoned. As the farmer turned to walk back to his house and get his wife and 8 kids inside, the sharecropper shot my grandfather in the back, killing him. His widow, my grandmother, was left with 8 children ranging from 17 down to 2 yrs old. Longtime friends and neighbors helped my grandmother with the remaining harvest, and spring plowing/planting for the next years crops.  One of those was my Father, who fell in love with and married my Mother, the oldest daughter of my murdered grandfather, she was 18 when she married my Father. Her next youngest sister, my aunt also fell in love with and married my Uncle Robert, she was 13 and he 26 at their wedding.

Uncle Robert and my aunt, his young wife of 13 years, stayed with my grandmother on the farm for the next 10 years or so before it was ultimately sold by my grandmother. They are still married to this day, and their relationship was founded in the aftermath of a senseless murder, with the intent to help a victimized family recoup and go on with the remnants of their lives which were shattered one sunday morning by two shotgun blasts.

Board your hypocritical bandwagons and have at informing me of how terrible and wrong this situation was... and why it never should have happened and why those involved should be subjected to your opinions and assumptions for 'their misbehavior'.

The whole point is that some are so blinded by their own personal biases and ability to witch hunt, that they cannot comprehend anything beyond or outside of either one.

 

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 5:01:29 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
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I really have no opinion about your lifestyle one way or the other, but would like to point out that the best way to avoid negative feedback about what you do, is to keep it behind the privacy of closed doors.

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 9:54:20 PM   
DaddiesLilGirl06


Posts: 52
Joined: 2/23/2005
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Caitlyn,

Why hide who I am? I am not a scaredy cat. I am a roaring lioness. I make myself known because I am who I am. But the thing is that no one should judge someone else. Everyone knows the saying. judge not lest ye be judged. Where have the morals of life gone? I dont judge anyone. Why? Well its this. I want to treat others the way I want to be treated. Kindly. Keeping things behind closed doors will only make cause for speculation. And then you get judged. Well if people have an understanding about who I am they are more apt to accept me for who I am insteading pretending to be someone I am not. My lifestyle is who I am at this time. Do you hide that you are a submissive. NOOO. You put it out there for everyone to know so that you can find that wonderful compatible partner to share your life with. And afterwards you want everyone to know how happy you are. Well that is me too. Just a different aspect of it. The same with Doms. They want the subs who are looking at them to know who they are. I dont want to hide who I am. My boss even knows who I am. She may think I am nuts about it but guess what she accepts me for who I am. She knows that I am a sincere loving individual. And we are pretty much friends. And my Daddy Dom also works where I work so she knows him to. Why hide who we are. Hell if we all did that then we would still have witches being hung in Salem Massachusetts. Guess what? We dont anymore because people are accepting those who are different. The prejudice against those who are different has to end. Even if it is a meager lifestyle or that someone smokes cigs or someone wishes to spank a bratty child. You should not judge. Thank you very much.

Dani

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/29/2006 10:50:52 PM   
MadamShy


Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline
Smoochs My little girl

good girl you told her sweetheart

Oh yah you guys didn't know she also has a Mommy

-=snickers=-

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/30/2006 12:06:56 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy


The whole point is that some are so blinded by their own personal biases and ability to witch hunt, that they cannot comprehend anything beyond or outside of either one.




The funny thing is, he's trying so hard, and nobody has the common decency to attack him.  Come on folks, make an effort!  Get those personal biases ready and let's have us a witch hunt!  Make his day!  How DARE we be unreasonably tolerant when he's so desperate for a good fight.

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RE: What is so wrong with age play? - 5/30/2006 12:16:37 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddiesLilGirl06

Caitlyn,

Why hide who I am? I am not a scaredy cat. I am a roaring lioness. I make myself known because I am who I am. But the thing is that no one should judge someone else. Everyone knows the saying. judge not lest ye be judged. Where have the morals of life gone? I dont judge anyone. Why? Well its this. I want to treat others the way I want to be treated. Kindly. Keeping things behind closed doors will only make cause for speculation. And then you get judged. Well if people have an understanding about who I am they are more apt to accept me for who I am insteading pretending to be someone I am not. My lifestyle is who I am at this time. Do you hide that you are a submissive. NOOO. You put it out there for everyone to know so that you can find that wonderful compatible partner to share your life with. And afterwards you want everyone to know how happy you are. Well that is me too. Just a different aspect of it. The same with Doms. They want the subs who are looking at them to know who they are. I dont want to hide who I am. My boss even knows who I am. She may think I am nuts about it but guess what she accepts me for who I am. She knows that I am a sincere loving individual. And we are pretty much friends. And my Daddy Dom also works where I work so she knows him to. Why hide who we are. Hell if we all did that then we would still have witches being hung in Salem Massachusetts. Guess what? We dont anymore because people are accepting those who are different. The prejudice against those who are different has to end. Even if it is a meager lifestyle or that someone smokes cigs or someone wishes to spank a bratty child. You should not judge. Thank you very much.

Dani


You seem to be complaining that people responded honestly to this thread.  We were asked how we felt about ageplay, and plenty of people responded honestly, openly and without hostility.  The most common response was, 'It's not for me, but I wish you well'. 

Now you seem to be complaining that you didn't get a round of applause and a queue of people desperate to sign up. 

It isn't criticism, or intolerance, to say, 'whatever floats your boat; it's not for me but that's ok'. 

And I do admire the irony of you announcing that you don't judge anyone, but that everyone else is lacking in morals, and they are insensitive and judgemental.

(in reply to DaddiesLilGirl06)
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