kalikshama
Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010 Status: offline
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quote:
That's kinda like the old "who REALLY has the power in the relationship?" topic. Change "relationship" to "scene" and you've given me a great segue: http://www.niu.edu/user/tj0bjs1/papers/scclm09.pdf With respect to control, some SM practitioners claim that the bottom is truly in control of the SM scene, and in the larger context in which the scene takes place, the bottom does wield considerable control. Before many scenes begin, the bottom and top negotiate the activities that will take place, with the bottom setting limits on the type and intensity of the activities. During the scene, the bottom can use safewords that indicate to the top that the activities must slow down or change or that the scene must end immediately. Thus, the bottom exerts control both before and during the scene. However, during the scene, the top controls the nature and intensity of the activities, and particularly for scenes involving bondage, the bottom must rely on the top to stay within the negotiated parameters of the scene and to respect any safewords the bottom uses. In addition, some bottoms avoid negotiation and safewords as a means of surrendering more control (Easton&Liszt, 1998). In the present studies, the rise in cortisol observed in bottoms but not tops might reflect the control the top exerts during the scene itself despite the control some bottoms exert in negotiation and in the use of safewords.
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