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fucktoyprincess -> RE: Time to call "Pro Lifers" what they are. "Pro Coathanger Death" (2/2/2012 6:54:03 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
Well, Satyr, I do have to agree with you to an extent. One thing I told my sons was that if they got a girl pregnant, it was very likely to fuck up their lives, since the girl would be the one making the decision as to the outcome of the pregnancy, and if she elected to have the baby and raise it, they would very likely be liable for child support. So much for college and any plans for the future. Happens all the time.
Our conclusions as to how to remedy this is somewhat different. You apparently believe child support and other laws should be changed so the would be father is off the hook. I have a somewhat different solution, and that is what I told my sons. Don't get anyone pregnant until you are ready and prepared to be a father. It is your responsibility, as much as the woman's, to make sure you are using adequate birth control. In fact, since you feel so strongly about the issue, I would go so far as to say it is more your responsibility, since you are opposed to abortion and yet seem offended by the thought of supporting a child.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as my mother used to say.
Wow. I have utmost respect for the way you have raised your sons. I wish more parents were like you. I often feel that parents of boys have the attitude of "boys will be boys" and do not have the type of conversation that you had with your sons around sex, pregnancy, and responsibility. We need more parents like you. Because I seem to encounter the men who didn't have such a no-nonsense parent and I don't like the lackadaisical attitude they have towards pregnancy risk. I understand that when the blood rushes to the nether regions that men don't always think straight. But they really need to pause and think. At whatever age, the financial responsibility for a child can be a huge burden. I think one has to be prepared for it, or not. And if not, appropriate caution ought to be exerted.
As long as men continue to treat birth control and the pregnancy consequences as a female only issue (and in my experience very few men raise these issues before having sex), then I think they forfeit decision making authority after the fact. But a man who has made it clear to me up front that preventing pregnancy is a high priority, and who does his part to ensure it doesn't happen, would certainly have a different level of consideration from me around the issue of an unwanted pregnancy - i.e., if I made the decision to keep a child in those circumstances I would personally not feel good about having him give me child support. I would feel much more that the decision to keep the child was mine, and my responsibility going forward, if he had made it clear that he did not want to support a child.
But again, how many men have this discussion up front with women - BEFORE things get all hot and heavy. In my experience, very few.
Anyway, kudos to you Iamsemisweet for placing responsibility on your sons for their sexual decisions. What is a man if he cannot be responsible for this most basic of things - the outcome of willingly deciding to have sex with a woman?
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