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RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 12:41:03 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*awaits cushion delivery*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 5:36:31 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourQueenErisca


Many of us receive a lot of messages each day. We do not have time to read and reply to each one of it. Call it rude, call it whatever. But that's the ugly truth. Most of us do not wish to waste our time on anything or anyone who does not interest us. Remember that CM messages are not the only messages one gets when they are on their pc. Work emails, friend's forwards, emails, facebook chats, facebook messages, twitters, etc etc. Even office emails, I do not reply with "received or thank you" unless it's an important email. What more for messages from strangers that do not fall in my interest "group".



This thread appears beaten to death, with little if anything to be added at this point. However, I am bored and will add a little something anyway. I strongly agree with what YourQueenErisca says above (and with the dozens of similar comments by others).

I do make an effort to reply to those who seem sincere. However, I simply don't always have the time or the energy to write back, and messages stack up quickly in my inbox. There certainly have been countless times when I myself wrote to someone and never received a response. As sensitive as I am, I somehow managed to pick up the pieces of my life and move on.

I do feel for those who have taken the time to write multi-paragraph messages. Ironically, however, those often are the messages I don't respond to. I may not feel like reading through all of it, so I'll stick it on the back burner. Sometimes, though, it becomes clear one or two sentences in that the guy is not the one for me, and thus I find no need to keep reading. My suggestion to everyone is to limit your opening messages to a paragraph or so. Don't burden the receiving party with a reading assignment, and don't waste your own time.

(in reply to YourQueenErisca)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 5:38:28 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

(Apart from GT of course, who keeps saying no to my "kneel bitch" messages for some reason - unbelievable - so the only possible response is to explain to her that she's fake).


Hey! that floor is friggin COLD!!!



Fact of the day: I am a failed dom - I always make subs kneel on a cushion; I looove the kneeling thing on so many levels but I can't handle the idea of bare knees on a cold hard floor.



Yeah, I agree, it's no good for the knees. I need those limbs to be in good shape for other things.

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 5:47:19 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Kneeling pads are fun sewing projects anyway. Simple and you can make them in whatever pattern you like (well... I guess unless your Person says otherwise =p)
One of the places where groups here have events has a TERRIBLE carpet -- like "cut up your knees" terrible. They'd come in handy there. =p

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 7:27:57 AM   
LadiTrukDriver


Posts: 150
Joined: 9/12/2007
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		My profile clearly states I am only looking for friends. I have been informed several times that
1) I really don't know what I want.
2) They too are only looking for friends, 3 emails later I'm informed I will be meeting them for dinner & there WILL be sex afterward.
3) Within a few messages I am now their slave (I never was or indicated that I'm a slave) they start throwing rules at me, etc. though my favorite rule is that I will give my notice & find a non driving job, working the hours he allows me to.
4) I'm easy prey because of my age, weight, job, etc. My job? REALLY? Silly me for thinking I was doing good in this country by helping provide food, clothing, etc., even to an asshole like him.
Then there's my all time favorite, truck drivers should be added to the fetish list:
5) That I am to take them on the truck, tie them in the bunk, only let them out once a week to hose him off. I tell them that isn't going to happen in my truck, I'm amazed at some of the names I'm called.
I could go on, but these are some that come to mind off the top of my head.
I myself go many days with no emails, and I don't have bulk set up, so I guess I'm not one of the pretty ones as was mentioned a few times.
Actually, other than the boards, the other reason I keep CM around is the entertainment factor & a few good friends.
Lauri

_____________________________

If you got it, own it, use it, eat it, drink it, or wear it, I'm almost positive a truck brought it!
America moves by truck h I'm one of the movers & shakers!

(in reply to lelloy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 7:50:17 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		omg, Lauri.. when I was still driving, I'd get emails saying "you don't LOOK like a truck driver!"

well, yes, asshole, I actually do, because that IS what I am doing for a living!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadiTrukDriver)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:02:40 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		FR

One guy wrote me, and in his initial email he noted that he knew that I was owned. Later on (within two more messages) it came out that he was going to be my "friend" until things failed with my Master then he would swoop in and become my new Master.

I told him that it was quite obvious to me that he had absolutely no idea who I was or what I wanted if he thought that was going to happen.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:08:12 AM   
LadiTrukDriver


Posts: 150
Joined: 9/12/2007
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		GT I have been driving a truck for the most part of 23 years. My mom keeps telling me that I need to wear dresses, skirts, blouses & slacks. I just look at her and ask if she knows what I do for a living? Even when I worked in an office setting doing customer service I wore black jeans & plain tshirts. LOL So I definitely look the part.

_____________________________

If you got it, own it, use it, eat it, drink it, or wear it, I'm almost positive a truck brought it!
America moves by truck h I'm one of the movers & shakers!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:09:52 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		searching4mysir:

You're in the right. However, your profile sends a mixed message. You may want to think about editing it to remove all references to your being in the market. Presently, it's difficult to blame those suitors from thinking you might be on the fence.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:10:11 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		You know what would be super fun, though? Driving a rig in a cute little 50s pinup-style swing dress covered in cherries. hahaha
Oh, and pearls, too. I'd totally do that (says the girl who goes to the scrap yard or u-pull-it in frilly skirts, earrings, and big clunky boots). =p
I love when extremes butt heads. =p

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to LadiTrukDriver)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:35:37 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Well, I just received this little gem:

quote:

is ur mouth available for fucking





quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

FR

One guy wrote me, and in his initial email he noted that he knew that I was owned. Later on (within two more messages) it came out that he was going to be my "friend" until things failed with my Master then he would swoop in and become my new Master.


I get guys that say, "well, if anything happens, look me up." I'm sitting there thinking, "Yeah, if my 13 year relationship suddenly ends the first thing I'm going to think of is some wanker on the internet that thinks he's my next Master."


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:37:18 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		LOL LIlly and Lauri!

One summer, when I was stuck in a cabover Freightliner (late 80s model), I was wearing a sundress while driving. I stopped in Kingman, Az to use the restrooms and grab a bite. as I was getting out of the truck I. TOTALLY. MISSED. THE. STEPS.

slid down the grab bar. skirt stayed above me for a moment. Let's just say there wasn't much under the dress.



I got a round of applause from the drivers across the aisle that were having a grill-out.

(I shoulda held out for tips, dammit!!) LOL

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 8:49:06 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		How the hell does it say I'm in the market or send mixed messages?

It says I'm seeking friends, and the essay SCREAMS "I'm Owned and no longer searching" (particularly at the top)?

It speaks of the two half marathons I ran this year and that MASTER SUPPORTED ME ALL THE WAY.


(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 9:00:51 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		At the very top, your profile says this -- "COLLARED, OWNED AND CHERISHED....NO LONGER SEARCHING (AND HE DOESN'T SHARE)." That seems pretty self-explanatory to me.

But a little further down, it also says this "40-something, single submissive" -- more than likely, dudes get hung up on the "Single" part, and ignore everything else. =p

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 9:01:54 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		First there's the issue of your username. It's fine that you still use it. There are reasons why people don't want to change a name they've been using for a long time. However, you'd have to agree that it's point one for the "in the market" side of the mixed message.

Your profile starts out stating that you are owned and not searching (point for "not in the market").

You then describe the Sir you are looking for ["single, monogamous, and within 10 years of my age (on either side)"].

After that, you state that you are open to trying things with the right single man and that you want to spend time with someone special.

Then, you discuss your Master again. However, it comes off as though you simply injected little references to him in what used to be your personal ad.

Just saying, lady.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 9:27:56 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

How the hell does it say I'm in the market or send mixed messages?



Yer pic shows tits.  If someone is, shall we say, more attuned to pictures than reading, he'll ignore all the funny looking letters.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 9:39:50 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner
Experience may have taught you that often a "no thanks" may trigger abuse; well I find that distressing and I sympathise. But life is, at times, hard; good manners can help us deal with that.


Would you say that this applies to real life also? That if you try to start a conversation with a woman late at night that she is obligated to respond?

What you're missing is the fact that women are always assessing men to see if they're safe. If we get a vibe that says this guy isn't safe, then that outweighs good manners. The profile could be fine or like the OP it could shout that he isn't safe, he won't respect a safeword, and he needs to be avoided stat. You don't get that from the op because you don't worry that one of the next six guys you talk to is a rapist. But that's the truth.

I'm big on manners and proper etiquette myself, but it never outweighs personal safety.
Being male, your first response to anything isn't going to be if you're going to be raped. It is for women. And I love you lots too, but this is something you won't ever understand viscerally because you've never had to run away from a car following you down the street. Or from the equivalent on the internet. People can be tracked down through the internet and then murdered, they have been. Not responding lessens our risk of being that next such headline.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 10:16:32 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Would you say that this applies to real life also?




We need to meet r/l. We need to argue and debate fiercely on stuff we see differently. And then we need to grin quietly because we find we've both argued our differences aggressively yet with courtesy (and elegance of language). And then we could start on the bits we agree on and rant about all the assholes in the world.




(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 10:21:10 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I never view random males as possible threats, particularly if they are online. Yeah, I know people can be stalked on the web, I have been and have stalked back in retaliation (I won). But, I still do not view men who write me as potentially dangerous and therefore I should run and hide.
That said.. I do not believe that people are obligated to respond to emails from strangers nor are they honor bound to open them simply because somebody sent one. I don't think of that as rude at all. And to test my theory I created a new user profile on the other side. By the time I filled it out completely I had 10 admirers (before it was done and saved!), and there are 6 or 7 emails over there for me.
CM forms leave no option to stay you are NOT actively seeking, so I only checked the friends only box even though I am not actively seeking friends. So for those people such as Sundowner who get wadded panties because there is a profile on the otherside I say unknot those drawers! There is no option for not seeking a thing. AND many people start over there because they don't know about collarchat until after they sign in.
So guys and gals, if people do not answer, they are not necessarily being rude. Maybe it is because there is not an option to say "sorry not interested".


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner
Experience may have taught you that often a "no thanks" may trigger abuse; well I find that distressing and I sympathise. But life is, at times, hard; good manners can help us deal with that.


Would you say that this applies to real life also? That if you try to start a conversation with a woman late at night that she is obligated to respond?




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Unread Messages - 2/12/2012 12:14:08 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

No response can be a response.

Sorry to break it to you, but you aren't owed anything- not even a returned message.






As much as you may not want to hear it, no response IS A RESPONSE. It means that you weren't even interesting enough to warrant a reply.

Don't let it hurt your feelings. And DEFINITELY don't keep sending her more messages asking why she hasn't replied.

Just move on. And you might want to look at the messages that aren't getting replies. Are there any commonalities between them. For example, have you noticed that any time you send a picture of your penis along with your message, the women don't respond?

Pay attention to what gets good responses and what gets bad responses (or no response at all). Then keep doing the former, and stop doing the latter.

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 80
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