Ok did I over react ?

Ok did I over react ? (Full Version)

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XEN64 -> Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 5:45:28 AM)
below it the message I had with a sub on CM It started with her messageing me, So I took a look at her profile to find it had nothing in it a part from a phot she stated was not her. I kind of went down hill from there on :) hi you have an interesting profile. are you with someone,in talks,then you are not for me however if you have no interest at the moment then would like to know more Thank you for you message I am pleased to hear you liked my profile, I did try to put a bit of thought into it. First let me say that no I am not seeing any one at the moment or chatting with any one. So would be open two getting to know more about you and seeing where it leads us. Read your profile (did not take long :) ) so its a little hard for me to get a handle on what it is you are looking for, So if you could let me know more about you. like do you have any experience and what is it you hope to find, what is it you need from a Ds relationship etc etc that would be a big help most of what I want is in my profile but I will add that long term when I find the right submissive we will have all that a normal relationship has to offer love, trust, honest, and friendship but with a lovely kinky quirk running throw it. Ds is not just something that lives in the bedroom it is at the heart of the relationship It is what I am and there for I am seeking the other side of the coin to me Anyway will get off now and hope to hear from you soon matt xxx im not looking for anything long term,not looking for love either so might not be worth checking the other side of the coin seems we are looking for different things all the best in finding someone hi baby thanks for your honesty what I said before was ment more as what I look for in the long term one day who know's type of thing but it in no way rules out every thing eles I am more than happy to and do meet for short term meets and play's and it dose not have to be heading to the long term goals I am a man with a love of life and a high libedo Anyway I leave it up too if you wish to carry on chatting matt x your last message freaked me out with all that crap in it im not looking for love or long term maybe you will come across one on here who wants that i dont. you are too smooth for my liking which makes me think you are saying the same crap to plenty of other women on here and no doubt some are believing it happy hunting but im not going to be your prey ok no problem I do understand. But please believe me it was not meant to freak you out and I am sorry if I have and no I do not say all those things to every one, To be complete honest as there is nothing in you profile I had nothing to base a reply on so I just told you what i was looking for long term. It was not try to tell you what I wanted straight away as things like that do not just happen there build with time and only if every think is right rereading my reply it dose come on a little strong and I can see how you got the wrong impression of me But like I said i had nothing to go on Anyway i complete respect what you have said and that fine, O and please believe me there are many far worse and creeper than me on here :) All the best with your search matt xxx maybe next time you should think before replying and im sure i have the right impression of you and after reading what you have sent me i believe you are just as if not more so than all the others on here but no doubt you will find more prey to abuse and give off the wrong impression ok that it i have been nice but for god sake get over yourself lady, 1 you have nothing in your profile 2 the pic is not even you 3 you have no idea who or what i am yet you have complete made your mind up 4 there are quite a few sub's who I have met on here, who would speak on my be half if I asked but I will not after all what the point you are not able to see past your own nose If you truly want to meet some one worth wile learn not to to jump to conclusions clearly you are not going to believe what I am telling you but I truly am a safe and sane Dom who no's how to treat a sub with respect and care, you may want to remember that the 1st time some Dom forgets what a safe word is or has no idea. Or who dose not care about your needs and wants happy searching I hope you get all you deserve :) matt just looking for people's input the last message was a little harsh but i had realy had enough by then its not nice to b call a creep and spoken as the kind of so called dom that I hate

kalikshama -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 5:57:19 AM)
You are why women Delete Unread and men come on to complain about this.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 5:59:58 AM)
Yes you did, the woman said she didnt think you were compatible from her first message to you.. You being the master of the universe you think you are thought you could change that,, She told you No you couldnt... You then posted private messages (Which i believe are against the terms of service) on this side to whimper and whine that this woman didnt think you were the master of the universe....

lizi -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:05:00 AM)
What I got from the exchange that you posted is that there was someone you thought you had a crack at hopping in the sack with, but then she pulled away. So you then tried to do damage control and say whatever it was you thought she wanted to hear in order to get her to reconsider. It didn't seem to work in the end. I think you were pretty eager to make your case with her (calling her baby?) and that would have turned me off as well as the fact that you seemed to want to say anything at all that would get you to the goal of meeting and hopefully getting naked. If that's how you overreacted, by rushing in too fast, yes - I'd say you did. You seemed pretty eager from the start and were obviously changing up things wherever you thought it was what she wanted to hear which is probably why she called you smooth.

XEN64 -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:05:29 AM)
ok I did of course leave out all names, But I can see your point I truly do not belive myself to be a super dom or a master of all the world that is what pissed me of so much, I was also trying to get some feed back on wherther what i put was in my message was creepy or over the top. I had left it to the lady to reply to me if she whished to out not

thishereboi -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:08:06 AM)
She told you she wasn't interested and you kept writing back. Sorry buddy, but at that point you deserve pretty much anything she sends you.

XEN64 -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:08:10 AM)
ok seems the tide is not flowwing my way so I will take it on board and move on, Thankyou all dose no one see the lady having an emty profile and insulting me with out true grounds as not relevant in any way ?

lizi -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:12:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: XEN64 ok I did of course leave out all names, But I can see your point I truly do not belive myself to be a super dom or a master of all the world that is what pissed me of so much, I was also trying to get some feed back on wherther what i put was in my message was creepy or over the top. I had left it to the lady to reply to me if she whished to out not Ok, I see where you are going here- I wasn't actually sure what you wanted before but I'll give you more specific feedback if that's what you want. What was over the top to me is that you came back each time with a kind of desperation to hold onto this chance with her. It seemed to me that your primary goal here wasn't D/s at all but getting with someone, and you switched things up quickly in each reply in order to try to match up with what you thought she wanted. If I had that exchange with someone, I'd get the overwhelming feeling that he just wanted to get into my pants from all of the slick maneuvering that was going on, and I'd take my cookies and go home. I'm not saying a hookup was your intention, I'm saying that's how it felt to me.

XEN64 -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:13:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: XEN64 ok seems the tide is not flowwing my way so I will take it on board and move on, Thankyou all dose no one see the lady having an emty profile and insulting me with out true grounds as not relevant in any way ? I was also looking for input in to my 1st reply the one she said freaked her out, would it have freaked out most people ?

angelikaJ -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:15:06 AM)
She tells you she isn't looking and then you push... and you call her baby? Your exchange showed no respect for her as a person and further more it seemed like you were doing this: [sm=lalala.gif] You did not listen; you did not 'hear' her words. That does not bode well for any future relationships you might enter into. As demonstrated here, your basic communication skills suck. Her anger was justified; yours not. When in doubt: follow the directions.

Misseyme -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:15:22 AM)
"...all the best in finding somebody.." Subbies way of saying a polite not interested "Hey baby, thanks for your honesty...." Sounds creepy to subbies who hear that stuff all the time. Not saying YOU are creepy, you may not be. I would find "baby" inappropriate in vanilla life too. In fact even rude. Yes, those mails ARE the reason we hit delete very quickly, I bet she blocked you too. Plenty more fish in the sea, learn from this one would be my suggestion.

lizi -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:16:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: XEN64 ok seems the tide is not flowwing my way so I will take it on board and move on, Thankyou all dose no one see the lady having an emty profile and insulting me with out true grounds as not relevant in any way ? Ah....ok, now we get to it. You wanted pats on the back and support? I am sorry you don't feel fulfilled in getting honest answers to your question. People here seemed matter of fact, no rudeness, and took time out of their day to give something to you that you asked for. If you had other motivations you should have said right off the bat and saved us all some time. For the record, I don't see what her profile has to do with anything. It wasn't writing your messages by chance was it? I think you made some mistakes and don't like being called on them, I'm sorry as you could have used the chance to learn and have your next encounter be more successful.

XEN64 -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:22:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: XEN64 ok I did of course leave out all names, But I can see your point I truly do not belive myself to be a super dom or a master of all the world that is what pissed me of so much, I was also trying to get some feed back on wherther what i put was in my message was creepy or over the top. I had left it to the lady to reply to me if she whished to out not Ok, I see where you are going here- I wasn't actually sure what you wanted before but I'll give you more specific feedback if that's what you want. What was over the top to me is that you came back each time with a kind of desperation to hold onto this chance with her. It seemed to me that your primary goal here wasn't D/s at all but getting with someone, and you switched things up quickly in each reply in order to try to match up with what you thought she wanted. If I had that exchange with someone, I'd get the overwhelming feeling that he just wanted to get into my pants from all of the slick maneuvering that was going on, and I'd take my cookies and go home. I'm not saying a hookup was your intention, I'm saying that's how it felt to me. to be honest it was not realy so much about trying to get into her knickers as it upset me that she had just got the wrong end of the stick so, that had me reply to her. I guss i just hated the thought of leaving it with her thinking I was some sort of usser and abuser. I guss that more to do with my igo than any thing I have in the past met dom's who are nothinng but abuser's hiding behind the dom term and it is something I realy hate bdsm is not abuse its a life style but there are men out there who truly have no idaer

kalikshama -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:26:19 AM)
quote: dose no one see the lady having an emty profile and insulting me with out true grounds as not relevant in any way ? Her empty profile didn't matter when she was "baby" but only became relevant after she thoroughly rejected you [8\|] The one time I made an exception to my policy of "Never date anyone with an empty profile" and it didn't work out, I blamed no one but myself.

kalikshama -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:27:42 AM)
quote: I guss i just hated the thought of leaving it with her thinking I was some sort of usser and abuser. I guss that more to do with my igo than any thing I have in the past met dom's who are nothinng but abuser's hiding behind the dom term and it is something I realy hate bdsm is not abuse its a life style but there are men out there who truly have no idaer SPELLCHECK - you're making my eyes bleed!

lizi -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:29:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: XEN64 to be honest it was not realy so much about trying to get into her knickers as it upset me that she had just got the wrong end of the stick so, that had me reply to her. I guss i just hated the thought of leaving it with her thinking I was some sort of usser and abuser. I guss that more to do with my igo than any thing I have in the past met dom's who are nothinng but abuser's hiding behind the dom term and it is something I realy hate bdsm is not abuse its a life style but there are men out there who truly have no idaer It came off though as you trying to get into her knickers, that was my point. I'm a stranger to you, I read what you posted and that's how it came off to me and something sure happened to put her off as well so you might like to look a bit further into what you wrote with a fresh outlook. It is frustrating when someone has the idea of us that isn't true, but then it's on us to communicate who we are and I dont' think you did that all that well. You had her pull away and there are a bunch of people here saying it didnt come off well to them either. I'm sure your intentions were good, maybe look at what we're saying here and take a note of what would make it better next time.

XEN64 -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:31:20 AM)
looks like I have a few points to take away from this and a few thinks to think about will be honest and say while I do not feel to good right know, Thankyou all for your input I once heard a say that I very much like "perception isn't reality" looks like I have just had a reminder of that point :) O as for the "baby" thing it just something I do its not ment to be any think other than playfull, maby its time that goes as well thanks all matt

XEN64 -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:34:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: I guss i just hated the thought of leaving it with her thinking I was some sort of usser and abuser. I guss that more to do with my igo than any thing I have in the past met dom's who are nothinng but abuser's hiding behind the dom term and it is something I realy hate bdsm is not abuse its a life style but there are men out there who truly have no idaer SPELLCHECK - you're making my eyes bleed! I am dyslectic :(

kalikshama -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:38:19 AM)
Are you using a browser that helpfully underlines the misspelled words?

dharkling -> RE: Ok did I over react ? (2/19/2012 6:39:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: XEN64 I guss that more to do with my igo than any thing You guess it had more to do with your ego. There's your answer. A lot of people, not just doms, make this mistake. Rejection SUCKS but at such an early phase of getting to know someone, the only part of you that really got hurt was your ego. Let it go and keep searching.

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