lizi
Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pghays04
Hello Ladies,
I have never dated a submissive kind of woman so I don't know if you all feel the same as vanilla women about things like " a guy needs to be in touch with his feminine side" or "men should be more feminine". I never could understand why a straight woman would feel that way. Was it just all those wimmins magazines they read or something they can't help? Do submissive women feel that way too? *please say no*
"All those wimmins magazines they read"....? The patronizing air of that statement was breathtaking. You come in to ask a question of the "ladies" and then paint them as sitting around forming opinions of men through magazines and through things they "can't help"- can you see the issue here? It's as though we're too silly to form opinions of the other sex through carefully considered reasoning and life experience, so we must have got those opinions through fluffy articles read on a beach while eating bon-bons. Saying we can't help how we feel makes it sound so trivial and emotional. I'll give you some free advice here, feel free to discount it, most women are not going to be receptive to having someone hand down the pronouncement that they are emotionally out of control, trivial, or at the mercy of our feelings. Painting us as brainless, hormonal, creatures that can't help themselves, so we adopt any new fad way of thinking, isn't going to ever win you adoration from a woman. We've heard that crap all of our lives, and I for one am heartily sick of it. I form my opinions through an intellectual process, not a magazine article.
That being said and the manner of how you asked the question aside...
It's not as cut and dry and you're trying to make it with submissive women and vanilla women wanting certain types of behavior from their partner. It's more like every woman is different and different things work for different people regardless of their sexual orientation or not.
I can only speak for myself, I don't want a feminine man. I love men for the creatures that they are, they dont' need to be more like me to please me, I like them as being different from me. I like men for their directness, their problem-solving, their luscious manly scent, the way that they look different and feel different. I like seeing their minds travel different paths then mine does, I love seeing their priorities and take on a situation. Men are amazing. To me, they need to be a man. If a man has emotional openness as part of his makeup he's still a man to me and a desirable one as I'd consider that to be a healthy, manly, quality.
I do need common ground with my man. We still need to be able to connect in order to have a relationship. I do love communication with my man, whether that is feminine or not I dont know but I have to have it. I cannot be in a relationship that has poor communication or none. Especially with D/s being thrown into the mix, as a submissive woman the need for communication rises to me, it doesn't decline.
My man has cried in front of me once, I felt honored that he trusted me that much. If he were to do it again it wouldn't faze me but it isn't something I seek - having men cry. If they do fine.
My Dominant is kind, considerate, tells me how he feels about me regularly, compliments me, lets me know when he misses me, calls me to sing songs to me, brings me small thoughtful gifts, rubs my back, calls me by endearments, brings snacks and drinks for me when we're off on an adventure somewhere, plans carefully to give me new experiences out in the world, asks me if I need help with my schoolwork, keeps his hair parted on the side because I like it better, brings me dirty, smelly, tshirts because I love to keep them in bed with me when he's not there, and shares with me how lucky he feels to have me around.
He also beats my ass, calls the shots on what we're doing in small things and big, thinks a polo shirt is 'dressing up', has me research the strangest things for him, mumbles constantly- I can't hear half of what he says, is entirely inflexible in some opinions, never seems to have a brush- uses mine instead, forgets to plan bathroom breaks when we're out and makes impatient faces if I have to go, asks me sports questions thinking I'll know what he's talking about, thinks a fine way to spend a few hours is to watch a sports game of some type, 'surprises' me with tickets to a sporting event (oh joy), and when he gets lost in the car wont' ask for directions- he always thinks he knows where he's going.
Is he feminine or masculine? I don't know, but I'd call him perfect...for me. As a submissive woman, his blend of qualities makes me admire and respect him.
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