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Weddings - 3/30/2012 3:22:14 PM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline 		Master and I are getting married in June. I just got a really nice steel collar, and will wear it there. It may draw attention, it may not.

Would you wear a collar (whatever kind) to an event that includes all your family and friends? Would it be different if they were into the kink scene?

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 3:26:59 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Congratulations!

I would never wear a collar in public. My family does not know nor would they understand. I have no desire to try an persuade them to my point of view. It would be a heartache that would not benifit anyone. So I simply keep my BDSM life behind closed doors.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 3:27:44 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't have a collar, I have a bracelet on each arm instead...completely normal and really nice that I get compliments on them all the time. They never come off. But it's not a steel collar around my neck either. It's nothing that stands out and screams bdsm or goth. We both look and act normally. I suppose for me it would depend on what the collar looks like...does it look like a normal necklace or piece of jewelry? Or does it look like a bdsm or goth piece of jewelry.

If it was my wedding I would want whatever I have on to match my wedding dress...if it matched, great. If not then I would ask Master if he could buy me something alternate to go with it that would still represent my collar. If he said no then I suppose I would have to wear it.



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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 3:29:18 PM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline 		I got the 1/4 inch stealth collar from RingOfSteel.Net :) It's kind of 'plain', so we may look for a pendant to slide on to match our collars.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 3:40:53 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I have a friend who has a collar... it is a beautiful diamond heart necklace. It's not the way a thing looks but the way it makes you feel that is important. I would want my guests to feel comfortable and free to celebrate with me rather than being uncomfortable or critical of something so out of place.... unless of course it goes with the theme to your wedding... in which case, I'd say rock on!

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 3:48:31 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlecherie

I got the 1/4 inch stealth collar from RingOfSteel.Net :) It's kind of 'plain', so we may look for a pendant to slide on to match our collars.


I just took a look at it. That's not bad. I wouldn't have much of a problem wearing one like that and if you can find a pendant like you said, to slide over it that would really dress it up nicely to match your dress.


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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 4:49:44 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline 		This:
http://traeume-aus-edelstahl.de/english/jewelry/neck-bracelet-curved/
is super sexy.

Elegant enough to be worn with a wedding dress IMO.
Looks like they can also cutomize them for you to maybe put a jewel in the locking section as well.
Your vanilla guests will be none the wiser.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:15:34 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I'm of the view that "it's your wedding, wear what you want. If there are people that might feel negatively about any of it, just don't invite them".

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:15:46 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I own that collar and wore it until I entered a program for school as they don't allow any jewelry. That being said, I'd probably not wear it to my wedding where lots of relatives may think it's a strange choice and find it odd. That day is to share with others and celebrate, have everyone happy and relaxed, not have them wonder what your necklace (?) is all about. It's a nice, unobtrusive collar, but it still looks like a collar and it's not going to blend in with any traditional wedding dress that I've ever seen-i'ts going to draw some attention just by being a strange choice and people I think are going to question why you have it on. Just my opinion.

I'm also one who keeps my lifestyle choices completely to myself as I don't wish to cause anyone in my family any concern, so on a day that I set aside for sharing with family I'd probably opt to keep my lifestyle to myself once more and keep that particular collar off - perhaps wear something else that was meaningful to my partner and I and wouldn't ever catch anyone else's eye as to it being out of place.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:20:37 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
That day is to share with others and celebrate, have everyone happy and relaxed, not have them wonder what your necklace (?) is all about.
That's pretty much it. My mother would not understand and it would just upset her, thinking she had done something to cause it. I love her too much to do that to her.

Second, when we got married he put a ring on my finger. To me it's the "collar" I wear everyday in pretty much every situation.


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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:28:02 PM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline 		I kind of like the idea of attention from my family in a 'whoa, what does that mean?' type of way. I answer all questions honestly, exactly what they asked, nothing more, nothing less. Usually that works just fine with them :)

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:29:12 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I wouldn't wear something like that at my wedding.  However, if you really do want to wear it, how about disguising it?  Could you tie or glue (temporarily of course) something like pearls or rhinestones or beads on it to make it look more like a choker? 

edited to add
Now that I am thinking about it more, I can picture all kinds of neat things to do to that collar to make it lovely for a wedding. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 3/30/2012 5:32:08 PM >

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:36:46 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
That day is to share with others and celebrate, have everyone happy and relaxed, not have them wonder what your necklace (?) is all about.
That's pretty much it. My mother would not understand and it would just upset her, thinking she had done something to cause it. I love her too much to do that to her.

Second, when we got married he put a ring on my finger. To me it's the "collar" I wear everyday in pretty much every situation.




Well, i obviously agree. Some people choose to feel that it's 'their' day and whatever they want goes, but I'm wondering then why they would choose to invite everyone else if they aren't somehow important to the proceedings? If you actually set aside a day and the purpose of it is to share something important to you with them, then are the two things not equal somehow in importance?

if we don't want people to be offended or whatever, then don't ask them to put aside their time to come and do something at your request and not take into account the fact that there will be other people there with different values/morals/lives. i mean I'm not advocating completely setting aside what is precious to you, but isn't there a way to combine everything and reach a solution? I own this collar and have worn it and there is no way that it is ever going to look like a normal addition to a wedding dress, so therefore people are going to notice it. Maybe it'll just seem odd, maybe it'll be fine. Maybe someone will know what it means, will drop a few comments to other guests, and the shit will hit the fan. I'd not take the chance. Not when you've asked these people to come to the thing in the first place - it's about them. Otherwise just go get married somewhere private.

Once again...just my opinion.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:43:31 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlecherie

I kind of like the idea of attention from my family in a 'whoa, what does that mean?' type of way. I answer all questions honestly, exactly what they asked, nothing more, nothing less. Usually that works just fine with them :)


So tell everyone well ahead of time then, just let it all hang out. Have a question and answer dinner or whatever. Why in the world would you choose to spring it on an assorted crowd at your WEDDING? Does that really seem like a mature choice? Do you think Grandma needs to know what you do when you're naked? Especially if she'd find it upsetting. I get that you share the information and have no problems with it but is it really appropriate considering that time and place and event? Is that how you want the memories of your wedding to be? The time when Aunt Mabel found out you like your bottom spanked and she took it rather badly and cussed out your new husband at the nuptial dinner?

You can't predict what people will do with information. If it's important for you to share it, why not do it in a manner that has less of a chance to blow up in your face? In fact send out a newsletter or something ahead of time and then do whatever you like during the ceremony, everyone will be forewarned then.

< Message edited by lizi -- 3/30/2012 5:45:38 PM >

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 5:47:21 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlecherie

Master and I are getting married in June. I just got a really nice steel collar, and will wear it there. It may draw attention, it may not.

Would you wear a collar (whatever kind) to an event that includes all your family and friends? Would it be different if they were into the kink scene?

Congratulations.

I wore a collar from the time I moved into his house, till four years after his death. My family could care less...those who did raise a question, were told to mind their own business.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 6:54:54 PM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Why in the world would you choose to spring it on an assorted crowd at your WEDDING?


I didn't say that, did I? I said I answer questions honestly. I don't just say 'Yo, homies, check this out, I'm a slave, this is my collar, peace out bitches', lol.


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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 7:14:46 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Do you think Grandma needs to know what you do when you're naked?

I agree with the overall sentiment of your statement however I must comment that my M/s relationship is about sooooo much more than what happens when we're naked and I think most others would agree the same goes for them..........luci

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 7:30:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I wouldn't. It would open questions and gossip that would detract from the occasion.

Even more so if your mother or his, offers you their pearl necklace to wear for the occasion.


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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 7:38:03 PM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I wouldn't. It would open questions and gossip that would detract from the occasion.

Even more so if your mother or his, offers you their pearl necklace to wear for the occasion.



I don't think either has a pearl necklace, but thanks for answering the question with your opinion :)\

As well as everyone else! I was just curious on others thoughts.

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RE: Weddings - 3/30/2012 9:18:28 PM   
delicatemasoKist


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/22/2011
Status: offline 		yeah congrats for sure!. Honestly... I got family that's into kink.. .but uhh... yeah HIS family... not so much. hahaha... I could see the look on great grandma's face now. I personally wouldn't wear a collar, but I'd accept a "bridal collar" on the honeymoon for sure. I mean, honestly... I get why you'd want it... your collar probably means a lot to you eh? but for me, not so much. I think the ceremony in itself has enough "Owning" qualities... that the collar could be left to a private ceremony between the newly weds. ya know? like, instead of him carying you "over the thresh hold" of your home... he can put your collar on... hahaha... Idk... just my opinion. Have a happy June! OH! and don't forget to do soething awesome for yourself a few days before kickoff... stress relief eh?

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