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ORIGINAL: Baroana



Don't you backpedal. You seem to be itching to come out to your family. That's between you and them.

I just was asking you to look forward a bit if you have not done so. Someday there might be children involved - your children, not random ones in Target - and that changes everything.

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ORIGINAL: Baroana

Really? I'm the only one here who has a problem with exposing kids to d/s before they're mature enough to understand it?

I'm the only one here who has a problem with giving information to kids that they shouldn't have about their parents?

I'm the only one here who has a problem with putting images of female submission into young, impressionable minds?

Shame on you all.

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I stuttered a bit and said it was a choker that my fiancee gave me before our wedding.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

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I stuttered a bit and said it was a choker that my fiancee gave me before our wedding.

What will you tell him when he asks you why you wear it every single day or jokes about how you must love that choker because you wear it everyday?

As for the children thing...I can say having a 20 year old daughter who recently has been asking me questions about my relationship that I've been in for over 5 years now, she heavily disapproves of my life. She recently basically scolded me for my traditional values and that I do everything for Master and that she sees how I live to be a smack in the face to women. So yeah...someday you may find yourself in a similar situation possibly as your children grow older.

Has it bothered me? Yup. I never knew how strongly she felt about this until we recently were having a casual conversation over lunch and she started asking some questions. She's my daughter. While I don't need her approval, it does hurt to know she disapproves of me.

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ORIGINAL: Baroana


I don't so much care about whether adult children approve or disapprove of their parents' relationships. What sets me off is when parents teach these lifestyles to their young children. It's a bad lesson whether it's male sub or female sub. However, for reasons that I consider obvious, it's especially bad to teach female submission to children.

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If you think that a kid should see his or her parent wearing a collar in a BDSM context, then there is something wrong with you.

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ORIGINAL: Baroana

Really? I'm the only one here who has a problem with exposing kids to d/s before they're mature enough to understand it?

I'm the only one here who has a problem with giving information to kids that they shouldn't have about their parents?

I'm the only one here who has a problem with putting images of female submission into young, impressionable minds?

Shame on you all.

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I own that collar and wore it until I entered a program for school as they don't allow any jewelry. That being said, I'd probably not wear it to my wedding where lots of relatives may think it's a strange choice and find it odd. That day is to share with others and celebrate, have everyone happy and relaxed, not have them wonder what your necklace (?) is all about. It's a nice, unobtrusive collar, but it still looks like a collar and it's not going to blend in with any traditional wedding dress that I've ever seen-i'ts going to draw some attention just by being a strange choice and people I think are going to question why you have it on. Just my opinion.

I'm also one who keeps my lifestyle choices completely to myself as I don't wish to cause anyone in my family any concern, so on a day that I set aside for sharing with family I'd probably opt to keep my lifestyle to myself once more and keep that particular collar off - perhaps wear something else that was meaningful to my partner and I and wouldn't ever catch anyone else's eye as to it being out of place.

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

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If you think that a kid should see his or her parent wearing a collar in a BDSM context, then there is something wrong with you.

All four of my kids not only saw me wearing mine, the oldest three watched their father put it on me. They knew what it was for. They asked questions, we answered honestly.

Of course, according to you...they are permanently scarred for life

Oh my

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I kind of like the idea of attention from my family in a 'whoa, what does that mean?' type of way. I answer all questions honestly, exactly what they asked, nothing more, nothing less. Usually that works just fine with them :)

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

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ORIGINAL: littlecherie


What does she ask? "What is that around you neck?"
I'd say - it's a collar, isn't it pretty? It's handmade.

My grandmother would be fine with that.

I don't know. It seems like you might be looking for the thrill of the shock factor. I can understand that. I enjoy, now and then, telling my friends something I've done and watching them be both appalled and curious.

As a usual matter of course, though, I will take into consideration the person I'm speaking with when I'm having a conversation - especially if I'm close to them and would like to continue having conversations with them in the future.

I think that if one is hosting an event, one should take into consideration the comfort of the guests. You're providing them (likely) with comfortable seating, food choices that align with their dietary needs. music, and a generally pleasant atmosphere. Why would you want to disrupt the experience that you've worked so hard to give to them by throwing this little bit of information in about yourself that A. they may not understand B. they might judge you for (right or wrong) C. they might feel you are somewhat dysfunctional for D. they may be completely weirded or disgusted by it. (Or choice E, they could show you their collar, as well. :)

There is a certain art to conversation. I feel you should take your partner in conversation into account and his or her feelings about the subject matter. Grammy, though she might be a horny ol' bird for all we know, probably does not want to know that about her granddaughter.

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ORIGINAL: ChicagoAmy


Meaning the potential 12 year old daughter in your future doesn't need to see mommy's collar. A

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ORIGINAL: littlecherie

Just because they see it doesn't mean anything. It's the thought they have about it. If I say it's jewelry that my husband bought me, and it is a symbol of our relationship and commitment, it's the same damn thing.

I see no issue with anyone *seeing* a piece of jewelry. It's all about the meaning behind it.

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I kind of like the idea of attention from my family in a 'whoa, what does that mean?' type of way. I answer all questions honestly, exactly what they asked, nothing more, nothing less. Usually that works just fine with them

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ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT



So, do you want them to simply see a piece a jewelry?
Do you want them to come to some revelation at your wedding over the meaning of the collar?
Both?

I find it interesting that you didn't feel confident explaining directly what its symbolism was to your boss, but you're comfortable having family question its meaning and be willing to explain it at your wedding.

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ORIGINAL: Baroana

Really? I'm the only one here who has a problem with exposing kids to d/s before they're mature enough to understand it?

I'm the only one here who has a problem with giving information to kids that they shouldn't have about their parents?

I'm the only one here who has a problem with putting images of female submission into young, impressionable minds?

Shame on you all.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I think more women need to learn to be more submissive. I'm not saying they should bow down to their husbands or do everything for them unless they want to. I'm saying it seems women these days seem to think it's all about them in a relationship. They tell the boyfriend that they won't do something unless they want to or they go off on their husbands in fits of rage instead of taking into account that the relationship is give and take, compromise and if you want your guy to be happy, show some respect, do some things for him, let him take the lead sometimes. While feminism has helped girls come a long way, I think they also have taken the reins and run off wildly and out of control with it.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm not saying that all women should submit to their husbands. I'm saying that women should not feel so negative towards their significant other. I believe that women have let feminism go to their heads and that they don't look at their men as extensions of themselves and feel they can do whatever they want to do with no concern whatsoever to their men. I just see way too many women who always say "so what? What do I care what he thinks? If I want to do something, I'll do it because I want to" instead of thinking of the repercussions of their significant other. They don't take him into account and what he may want. They forget that sometimes forgoing your own wants and desires is better for a relationship when you realize it's an us and not a me and he/she. They fight all the time with him because they want it their way and their way only instead of compromising and negotiating and letting him have his way once in awhile.