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Punishment ideas? - 4/4/2012 10:15:26 PM   
DaKid8


Posts: 24
Joined: 6/3/2009
Status: offline 		I have a new slave and I need ideas on how to punish her.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 12:02:38 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		The punishment should reflect the severity and nature of the infraction.

Decide what the problem is and then make a decision as to how you want to correct it.

We don't know you, your sub or the kind of dynamic you've agreed upon. We don't know what he/she has done wrong, or why it's wrong. Only the two of you know that. Therefore you are best placed to make any punishment decisions.

Being a dominant means taking responsibility for leading the relationship in whatever manner you wish. If you're struggling to do that, then maybe this is the time to reflect on the kind of relationship you want.

Failing that, use the 'search' feature at the top right of the page. You'll find many, many threads started by people who are in a similar position to you.


_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to DaKid8)
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RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 12:40:17 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Perhaps before you start to punish someone you should make sure it's not your fault. 

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to DaKid8)
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RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 12:49:12 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline 		Perhaps the young man was was looking for some thoughts about useful methods for when the need does arise instead of for a punishment that is needed now.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 1:08:20 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Perhaps the young man was was looking for some thoughts about useful methods for when the need does arise instead of for a punishment that is needed now.


Well, then I think talking abou it is what is needed.  That way he'll learn why it happened. 

I was punished once early in my relationship.  We were both feeling out our limits.  He wouldn't let me read books for 3 days.  We have since discovered that punishments are not needed, just talk. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 4/5/2012 1:09:06 AM >

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 1:12:44 AM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline 		True. But IMO one size does not fit all. What is punishment to me may seem a breeze to her. He'd be better off getting to know what makes his new slave tick, so that the punishment is just that to her.

YMMV

(in reply to pghays04)
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RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 1:42:48 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Very very true, CeriseNin

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to CeriseNin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 3:10:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The girl has an inexperience Master.  Isn't the punishment enough?

OK, ok.  Joking aside, let's look at this logically.

What you are asking is too vague.  Nobody here has any idea of what kind of offense requires the punishment, what kind of corrective action you have already taken, or what actually would be a negative recourse for her.  Is it a repeated problem?  Have you not conveyed your expectations properly?  What is your role in this?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 3:47:32 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		I have this suggested netequite rule that I post from time to time, but no one every listens to me. As a general rule, it is a good idea, when entering a new community, to read about a weeks worth of threads/ posts before posting, then respond to 50 threads before starting one. But that's just an idea.

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“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 7:18:39 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

I have a new slave and I need ideas on how to punish her.


I think you can answer your own question if you pretend that she's not your slave. Instead, think about what you'd do if she were your child. When you look at it that way, I think that you'll quickly realize that the punishment needs to fit the offense. So there is no such thing as one punishment that fits every situation.

You'll also probably realize that each child is different. What works on one child might be completely ineffective on another.

Remember, BDSM isn't as mystical as some people like to make it seem. People are people. It doesn't matter if they're slaves, or children, or criminals. The punishment needs to fit the crime. But you have to know the individual well enough to understand which types of punishments will work best on them.

None of us know your slave as well as you do. So you are actually the best source of ideas. Think about what your slave likes, and what he/she doesn't like. Then come up with an appropriate punishment.

I hope that helps.

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 7:27:32 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Perhaps the young man was was looking for some thoughts about useful methods

And perhaps he should start by having a few thoughts of his own first.

OP, we don't know you. We don't her. And quite frankly, if you're new, there's a pretty good chance her failures are because of your lack of experience. If you can't figure out how to set your submissive up to succeed and instill the desire to follow you....the relationship is doomed.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 7:35:48 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Send her to an older balding Dom who knows what he's doing.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 9:01:09 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		As I said on your other thread:

I suggest you do nothing until you have read SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

See also this booklist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 11:05:00 AM   
DaKid8


Posts: 24
Joined: 6/3/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks for your input. I should have been more specific.
I was meaning punishment ideas for the future. Methods and such. Maybe examples of successful punishments that have worked from your own experience. Whether it be for smaller things or bigger things.

I am just reasearching right now. I am NOT letting strangers on the internet run my relationship. I am simply looking for ideas, tips or suggestions. In the end I will take all the info I have gathered and I may use some or none of it depending on the situation.

@OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.

@pghays04- Yes that is what I meant thank you.

@CeriseNin- True. I was just curious to see other peoples ideas. Then mix anything I find interesting if the time arises.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 11:51:21 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8


@OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.




I do. Quite often....and we both enjoy it. As for the second part, this posting pretty much doesn't really prove that point.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How To Punish A Self-titled Master? - 4/5/2012 11:53:49 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8
OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.

Judging by your response to OsideGirl, I'd say being in a relationship with you as the director is punishment enough.
I think you should take some corner time and really think about what her message is telling you.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 12:05:36 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

Thanks for your input. I should have been more specific.
I was meaning punishment ideas for the future.



You are assuming that your sub will do something worthy of punishment, before she has done it.  One of the things you should concentrate on is leading in a way that there is little chance for the sub to fail.  If you do your best then most likely the sub will also do an excellent job.  You will then have to discover ways to praise your sub. 

Now, grow up.  Read.  Learn.  And don't insult the people who give you the best advice you are likely to ever get.  Your comment was against the TOS YOU agreed to follow when YOU joined Collarme. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 4/5/2012 12:07:55 PM >

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 12:22:38 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

@OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.



If you go back and re-read what she said, it was actually good advice. Don't be defensive. Sometimes wisdom comes in forms that is hard to digest. But it's good advice nonetheless.

As she stated, as the leader you need to set your slave up for success, not punishment. With proper leadership, she may never (or rarely) require punishment.

Also, if you're a sadist and your slave is a masochist, then what you're looking for are creative ideas for "funishment". That's very different from punishment. Punishment is intended to correct bad behavior. "Funishment" is when you beat her simply because you enjoy doing so. And for a sadist/masochist couple, that's often the best type of play.

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 12:44:15 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

I was meaning punishment ideas for the future.


It's very telling that you're more concerned about future transgressions than you are with learning about how to give her the tools she needs to succeed.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DaKid8)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Punishment ideas? - 4/5/2012 1:15:23 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Figure out why you couldn't teach her to succeed. Why you can't inspire her to obey.
Because as the master has the greater power in the relationship, he also has the greater responsibility for things that go wrong.

Now if you're talking fun & games, you need to make sure she's fine being told she failed even when it is to you an obvious joke. Some are and some aren't.

But real punishment doesn't teach skills to succeed in the future, it doesn't problem solve to find out how to prevent the same situation recurring. Just as you learn to succeed in school more from a teacher who takes time to go over with you what your problem is, instead of simply failing you and telling you that you're a useless waste of space in the classroom, so it is with any interpersonal relationship.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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