RE: What's with this great divide? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


tj444 -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 6:01:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

You think I think what? You sound like Emily Litella....Ohhh, you said that? NEVERMIND!


and imo you sound like a pretentious armchair bdsm academic.. sitting in your overstuffed leather chair in your book filled library puffing away on a pipe trying to over analyze bdsm.. that is why i said you should get out and enjoy the sunshine..

oh, that splains it, lucy!

i won't even go down the road of why you made a bunch of stupid offensive assumptions about what i believe, that conflicted with what i said, or that you seemed kinda angry and nasty in running with your Emily Litella false impressions (i quoted you below). i tried to make a joke out of it and let you save face, but you decided to ramp it up.

whatever insecurities cause you to act out this way have nothing to do with me (or reality) or this thread, so let's leave it at that and move on. in fact, you're right, I'm a pretentious blah blah blah <insert angry rant>, and need to get out more. movin' on.

quote:


where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine..


dude.. its not just me that has said on this thread that you are over thinking things and its not just me that has said you should instead go out in the real world and meet real people.. the rest of this shite doesnt matter one bit.. If you indeed believe you are who you are then go out and meet someone that fits with you..




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 6:36:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine.. [:D]


This isn't the first time I've heard that switches are "inferior" and "can't make up their mind."

Do you really not understand how that statement makes you sound?


When this thread came up, I *purposely* did not state I thought switches were superior in any way for knowing both sides. I know for my own self that knowing both sides makes me a better dom and a better sub. That's *MY* experience.

I can't possibly speak for let's say, Focus's experience as a dominant, b/c I have never been 100% dominant. Nor can I speak for your experiences as a submissive, having never been 100% sub, either.

But your comments about switches inferiority and lack of being able to make up their mind speaks to very deep ignorance on a subject you can't possibly know that much about, since per your own admission, you are not one.

Just MY opinion.








TrekkieLP -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 6:40:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bucephalus

My view is live and let live.


I try to remind myself of my rule:

"I am a Trekkie. Therefore, I do not make fun of other people's hobbies."




tj444 -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 7:35:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine.. [:D]


This isn't the first time I've heard that switches are "inferior" and "can't make up their mind."

Do you really not understand how that statement makes you sound?


When this thread came up, I *purposely* did not state I thought switches were superior in any way for knowing both sides. I know for my own self that knowing both sides makes me a better dom and a better sub. That's *MY* experience.

I can't possibly speak for let's say, Focus's experience as a dominant, b/c I have never been 100% dominant. Nor can I speak for your experiences as a submissive, having never been 100% sub, either.

But your comments about switches inferiority and lack of being able to make up their mind speaks to very deep ignorance on a subject you can't possibly know that much about, since per your own admission, you are not one.

Just MY opinion.

you mean the same way that the OP says switches are better? You never said switches were superior but the OP did.. Maybe I am being too subtle in my posts.. [8|]

As I said in another post, I have tried to switch so yes, i do have some experience with that and it just doesnt work for me.. Even if it were possible for me to do, its not someplace I want to be.. I am happy where I am and dont want to change.. maybe that means that I am too lazy to learn to do that.. cuz to me switching takes a lot of effort to do, especially mentally to get into the opposite frame of mind..




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 7:56:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


you mean the same way that the OP says switches are better? You never said switches were superior but the OP did.. Maybe I am being too subtle in my posts.. [8|]

As I said in another post, I have tried to switch so yes, i do have some experience with that and it just doesnt work for me.. Even if it were possible for me to do, its not someplace I want to be.. I am happy where I am and dont want to change.. maybe that means that I am too lazy to learn to do that.. cuz to me switching takes a lot of effort to do, especially mentally to get into the opposite frame of mind..


That you've tried to switch does not help your argument, IMO, since you are clearly not wired that way.

Although some switches may appear to be confused, and others may very well be not especially dom or sub, there are those like me who are very either/ or in their response to others, and have been for many years.

I can assure you, I am not known for being indecisive.

So I will continue to take exception to your statement that switches are inferior, and that they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.


I would very much appreciate an attempt on your part to support that opinion.






searching4mysir -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 8:06:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.

My take on it - I used to wish I was bi-sexual, so that I could have twice as many options (and fun). But hairy bodies and cocks never turned me on. Now I sort of wish I was a switch. Sort of because I'm careful what I wish for.

As Elvis Costello put it, what's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine.. [:D]


For me, it isn't that I think switches are inferior (I don't believe they are) but that I am monogamous and don't play casually.

As a slave, I don't believe a switch would be happy domming me because I wouldn't be able to satisfy his sub urges and he wouldn't be able to satisfy them elsewhere (due to the monogamous thing). It just wouldn't be fair to either of us.

I once told a dom that if I ever found another woman in his bed that she would be going home with his testicles in her purse. I'm not a jealous woman, but I am possessive, and my Master is just as much mine as I am his. He doesn't want to break his toys, and infidelity would break me. Master understands this.




tj444 -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 8:10:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
you mean the same way that the OP says switches are better? You never said switches were superior but the OP did.. Maybe I am being too subtle in my posts.. [8|]

As I said in another post, I have tried to switch so yes, i do have some experience with that and it just doesnt work for me.. Even if it were possible for me to do, its not someplace I want to be.. I am happy where I am and dont want to change.. maybe that means that I am too lazy to learn to do that.. cuz to me switching takes a lot of effort to do, especially mentally to get into the opposite frame of mind..


That you've tried to switch does not help your argument, IMO, since you are clearly not wired that way.

Although some switches may appear to be confused, and others may very well be not especially dom or sub, there are those like me who are very either/ or in their response to others, and have been for many years.

I can assure you, I am not known for being indecisive.

So I will continue to take exception to your statement that switches are inferior, and that they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.


I would very much appreciate an attempt on your part to support that opinion.

do you consider yourself because you are a switch to be better than subs or doms? I dont get the impression that you do so its not you or switches, I disagreed with the OPs assertion that switches are better and threw it back at him.. Can he show me in the Official BDSM Handbook where it states switches are better???




sincelo -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 8:24:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
you mean the same way that the OP says switches are better? You never said switches were superior but the OP did.. Maybe I am being too subtle in my posts.. [8|]

As I said in another post, I have tried to switch so yes, i do have some experience with that and it just doesnt work for me.. Even if it were possible for me to do, its not someplace I want to be.. I am happy where I am and dont want to change.. maybe that means that I am too lazy to learn to do that.. cuz to me switching takes a lot of effort to do, especially mentally to get into the opposite frame of mind..


That you've tried to switch does not help your argument, IMO, since you are clearly not wired that way.

Although some switches may appear to be confused, and others may very well be not especially dom or sub, there are those like me who are very either/ or in their response to others, and have been for many years.

I can assure you, I am not known for being indecisive.

So I will continue to take exception to your statement that switches are inferior, and that they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.


I would very much appreciate an attempt on your part to support that opinion.

do you consider yourself because you are a switch to be better than subs or doms? I dont get the impression that you do so its not you or switches, I disagreed with the OPs assertion that switches are better and threw it back at him.. Can he show me in the Official BDSM Handbook where it states switches are better???


The OP never said that he thought that switches were better. He asked if people thought it was better to have switched and thus had more skill. You said that switches were inferior. That is not insulting HIM. It insults everyone who is a switch.




tj444 -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 8:33:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.

My take on it - I used to wish I was bi-sexual, so that I could have twice as many options (and fun). But hairy bodies and cocks never turned me on. Now I sort of wish I was a switch. Sort of because I'm careful what I wish for.

As Elvis Costello put it, what's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine.. [:D]


For me, it isn't that I think switches are inferior (I don't believe they are) but that I am monogamous and don't play casually.

As a slave, I don't believe a switch would be happy domming me because I wouldn't be able to satisfy his sub urges and he wouldn't be able to satisfy them elsewhere (due to the monogamous thing). It just wouldn't be fair to either of us.

I once told a dom that if I ever found another woman in his bed that she would be going home with his testicles in her purse. I'm not a jealous woman, but I am possessive, and my Master is just as much mine as I am his. He doesn't want to break his toys, and infidelity would break me. Master understands this.

I agree with you.. I have been approached by switches and sub men and considered it but both cant go there and dont even want to try.. same thing with bi-sexual men..

The thought never occured to me about anyone being "better" cuz they were a switch, a sub or a dom.. the OP is the first I recall ever reading that switches were better.. it was a WTF? moment.. I will have to tone down my sarcasm when posting..




tj444 -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 8:47:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sincelo
The OP never said that he thought that switches were better. He asked if people thought it was better to have switched and thus had more skill. You said that switches were inferior. That is not insulting HIM. It insults everyone who is a switch.

He is the one that said he wanted to be a switch.. my impression is he thinks it is better and more fun or something (I think its just a lot more work)..

But yes, it was not my intention to insult all other switches and I am sorry for that, I apologize for my rash words to those of you that are.. I should not have made such statements (whether I meant them or not), I should have been more clear and directed my statements to him only..




sincelo -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 9:01:12 AM)

OP I used to think that switches have more insight to what a submissive feels physically but then someone else brought up a really good point. People do not process pain the same way. I might think something hurts like the dickens and you think it is no big deal.
I also don't think people process power exchange the same either. Some struggle to obey, some don't so no it doesn't give you more insight imo.




sincelo -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 9:06:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: sincelo
The OP never said that he thought that switches were better. He asked if people thought it was better to have switched and thus had more skill. You said that switches were inferior. That is not insulting HIM. It insults everyone who is a switch.

He is the one that said he wanted to be a switch.. my impression is he thinks it is better and more fun or something (I think its just a lot more work)..

But yes, it was not my intention to insult all other switches and I am sorry for that, I apologize for my rash words to those of you that are.. I should not have made such statements (whether I meant them or not), I should have been more clear and directed my statements to him only..


Actually i'm not a switch, i just don't think that one is inferior. I think whatever works for the person is best and they will think that best for THEM. Your statement offended me because it was just outright rude too many people i quite admire.




Bhruic -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 9:08:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
do you consider yourself because you are a switch to be better than subs or doms? I dont get the impression that you do so its not you or switches, I disagreed with the OPs assertion that switches are better and threw it back at him.. Can he show me in the Official BDSM Handbook where it states switches are better???


Can you show him/her in the Official BDSM handbook that they aren't? Conversations and debates are good, and opinions are to be expected, logical arguments are contributory... but a position like that is just nonsense.




ClassAct2006 -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 10:15:02 AM)

Switches are no better nor worse than anyone else. However I am 100% straight and I would not want a bisexual partner so similarly I have felt sub since I was very young and could not contemplate anything else and need someone dom to their very DNA who could not countenance switching. Every dominant man I've known and got close to has been the same. That does not mean I would not go near a man who has switched in the past but it's a huge put off oor me as this is not about a behavioural choice or kinky sex, it's about how a life is led with another and our being our natural selves.

I accept some men will marry a wife and later turn or realise they are gay and thus also they might later realise they were not vanilla but dom but the doms I've known and liked have known always how they were. So I tend to prefer those as they simply reflect me - always having been sub as it's about life and the relationship and a desire for me to be controlled rather than what might be played around with in bed.




msub4real -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 10:22:45 AM)

I don't take roles so seriously as being better if you are devoted to only one. To me it's about what you need based on where you're at, and that could change, or for some people it is always the same need and same role. The roles manifest from our innate impulses and the way our personalities formed through experience, and they express desires based on needs. Right now I am having a lovely desperate need to be dominated, another way of saying I need my mind to shut up and give control over to someone else. What I do take seriously is the fact that whatever anyone might say, this all happens between real people and so what matters most is to operate with sincerity, respect and care.




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 10:55:12 AM)

quote:

That you've tried to switch does not help your argument, IMO, since you are clearly not wired that way.

Although some switches may appear to be confused, and others may very well be not especially dom or sub, there are those like me who are very either/ or in their response to others, and have been for many years.

I can assure you, I am not known for being indecisive.

So I will continue to take exception to your statement that switches are inferior, and that they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.


I would very much appreciate an attempt on your part to support that opinion.


do you consider yourself because you are a switch to be better than subs or doms? I dont get the impression that you do so its not you or switches, I disagreed with the OPs assertion that switches are better and threw it back at him.. Can he show me in the Official BDSM Handbook where it states switches are better???

_____________________________


So sorry, how I perceive myself or anyone else is not the issue (although I have already answered that question).

You specifically said switches were inferior. Now, are you going to retract your statement, support it, or continue to deflect?




Karmastic -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 11:09:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

You think I think what? You sound like Emily Litella....Ohhh, you said that? NEVERMIND!


and imo you sound like a pretentious armchair bdsm academic.. sitting in your overstuffed leather chair in your book filled library puffing away on a pipe trying to over analyze bdsm.. that is why i said you should get out and enjoy the sunshine..

oh, that splains it, lucy!

i won't even go down the road of why you made a bunch of stupid offensive assumptions about what i believe, that conflicted with what i said, or that you seemed kinda angry and nasty in running with your Emily Litella false impressions (i quoted you below). i tried to make a joke out of it and let you save face, but you decided to ramp it up.

whatever insecurities cause you to act out this way have nothing to do with me (or reality) or this thread, so let's leave it at that and move on. in fact, you're right, I'm a pretentious blah blah blah <insert angry rant>, and need to get out more. movin' on.

quote:


where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine..


dude.. its not just me that has said on this thread that you are over thinking things and its not just me that has said you should instead go out in the real world and meet real people.. the rest of this shite doesnt matter one bit.. If you indeed believe you are who you are then go out and meet someone that fits with you..

that's good advice, and i agree, but very different than all the other things you were wrong about what i think.




Karmastic -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 11:10:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine.. [:D]


This isn't the first time I've heard that switches are "inferior" and "can't make up their mind."

Do you really not understand how that statement makes you sound?


When this thread came up, I *purposely* did not state I thought switches were superior in any way for knowing both sides. I know for my own self that knowing both sides makes me a better dom and a better sub. That's *MY* experience.

I can't possibly speak for let's say, Focus's experience as a dominant, b/c I have never been 100% dominant. Nor can I speak for your experiences as a submissive, having never been 100% sub, either.

But your comments about switches inferiority and lack of being able to make up their mind speaks to very deep ignorance on a subject you can't possibly know that much about, since per your own admission, you are not one.

Just MY opinion.






^^^^ THIS




Karmastic -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 11:14:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

where are you getting this shite from? switches are "better"??? wtf? imo switches are inferior,.. they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.. jmo..

I am not interested in switches or subs or bi-sexual men..

me thinks you have been gazing at your navel too long.. go out and enjoy the sunshine.. [:D]


This isn't the first time I've heard that switches are "inferior" and "can't make up their mind."

Do you really not understand how that statement makes you sound?


When this thread came up, I *purposely* did not state I thought switches were superior in any way for knowing both sides. I know for my own self that knowing both sides makes me a better dom and a better sub. That's *MY* experience.

I can't possibly speak for let's say, Focus's experience as a dominant, b/c I have never been 100% dominant. Nor can I speak for your experiences as a submissive, having never been 100% sub, either.

But your comments about switches inferiority and lack of being able to make up their mind speaks to very deep ignorance on a subject you can't possibly know that much about, since per your own admission, you are not one.

Just MY opinion.

you mean the same way that the OP says switches are better? You never said switches were superior but the OP did.. Maybe I am being too subtle in my posts.. [8|]

As I said in another post, I have tried to switch so yes, i do have some experience with that and it just doesnt work for me.. Even if it were possible for me to do, its not someplace I want to be.. I am happy where I am and dont want to change.. maybe that means that I am too lazy to learn to do that.. cuz to me switching takes a lot of effort to do, especially mentally to get into the opposite frame of mind..

again, i never said EITHER was superior. i pointed out arguments on both sides, and said both resonated with me. and that, as ChatteParfaitt and others keep saying, the "right" or "best" thing depends on the person. i have to admit, it's irritating having someone continually misquote me. how can you get it so wrong?






Karmastic -> RE: What's with this great divide? (4/15/2012 11:18:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sincelo


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
you mean the same way that the OP says switches are better? You never said switches were superior but the OP did.. Maybe I am being too subtle in my posts.. [8|]

As I said in another post, I have tried to switch so yes, i do have some experience with that and it just doesnt work for me.. Even if it were possible for me to do, its not someplace I want to be.. I am happy where I am and dont want to change.. maybe that means that I am too lazy to learn to do that.. cuz to me switching takes a lot of effort to do, especially mentally to get into the opposite frame of mind..


That you've tried to switch does not help your argument, IMO, since you are clearly not wired that way.

Although some switches may appear to be confused, and others may very well be not especially dom or sub, there are those like me who are very either/ or in their response to others, and have been for many years.

I can assure you, I am not known for being indecisive.

So I will continue to take exception to your statement that switches are inferior, and that they cant make up their friggin mind what they are.


I would very much appreciate an attempt on your part to support that opinion.

do you consider yourself because you are a switch to be better than subs or doms? I dont get the impression that you do so its not you or switches, I disagreed with the OPs assertion that switches are better and threw it back at him.. Can he show me in the Official BDSM Handbook where it states switches are better???


The OP never said that he thought that switches were better. He asked if people thought it was better to have switched and thus had more skill. You said that switches were inferior. That is not insulting HIM. It insults everyone who is a switch.

quote:

ChatteParfaitt


Thank you for correcting her. BTW - i am insulted when someone misunderstands me (as she did), then gets pissy based on their own misunderstanding. it's very irritating! and also laughable, that she "threw something back at me" that i never said.





Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875