quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

You are 19 years old and you are living as a slave??  No wonder you are depressed and want to die.  You have no car, no choices, no nothing.  Good god, you need to be out living your life, figuring out your place in the world as a *person* first , figuring out who you are, getting an education and/or career in line, hanging out with your friends and discovering *yourself* before you can commit yourself to someone, especially in an Ms context, and especially at your age.  Go home to mom and dad, ask them for help. And run far and fast from the one you call "Master".

quote:

ORIGINAL: petwolf22

PlayfulOne, thanks for responding for me.  i hadn't kept up with the thread and did not realize that marieToo had replied to me.

marieToo, judging is not necessarily always meant negatively, but all of us do it, on a daily basis, with everyone around us.  my point was that the OP came here for help on what to do, not suggestions as to the root causes of her problems, or having the blame placed on her.  It's not our place to do that.  THAT's why i didn't feel it appropriate to condemn her life choices, which, with subsequent posts, i think she has adequately explained.

Take a look at the definition--we ALL do this, and you did too, you formed your opinion based on your perceptions of what you read.  So, yes, you were in fact being judgemental.





judg·ment also judge·ment    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (jjmnt)
n.

1. The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation.
   
2. 
   
   The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships; discernment: Fatigue may affect a pilot's judgment of distances.
   The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: petwolf22

PlayfulOne, thanks for responding for me.  i hadn't kept up with the thread and did not realize that marieToo had replied to me.

marieToo, judging is not necessarily always meant negatively, but all of us do it, on a daily basis, with everyone around us.  my point was that the OP came here for help on what to do, not suggestions as to the root causes of her problems, or having the blame placed on her.  It's not our place to do that.  THAT's why i didn't feel it appropriate to condemn her life choices, which, with subsequent posts, i think she has adequately explained.

Take a look at the definition--we ALL do this, and you did too, you formed your opinion based on your perceptions of what you read.  So, yes, you were in fact being judgemental.





judg·ment also judge·ment    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (jjmnt)
n.

1. The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation.
   
2. 
   
   The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships; discernment: Fatigue may affect a pilot's judgment of distances.
   The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating

In order to deal with a problem, one must get to the "root of the problem".  So I would have to disagree with your opening statement. 

Now.  You have a right to have an opinion on what is "appropriate", however, you do not have a right to tell me that I should share your opinion or agree with it.

I read her post, assessed the situation, as *I* interpreted it, and answered her as  honestly as I possibley could, without sugar coating.  In *my* estimation (which may or may not be correct, but is the *only* estimation from which *I* can answer) her master is PART of the problem.  Therefore I recommended that she get away from him.  I see that at least 4 others here basically suggested the same thing.  So I can only assume that my perceptions cant be that far off as other intellingent individuals picked up the same thing.
Yes, she did defend him, *after* all the opinions and advice rolled in.  But that is something that a 19 year old *would* do.  Just like a child defends a parent to the outside world, or an adult defends their lover to an outside world, even when they know deep down the person in question can be at fault, exactly as is interpreted and stated by others.
Now...When a person says "I want to die" and her Master says "I dont want to hear it".  That to me is a huge part of the problem that was keeping her from getting help.  The one person in her life who is supposed to love, cherish and above all "PROTECT" her..says  "I dont want to hear it."   Now you may not agree with this (and you dont have to) but in *my* estimation when the person in your life who is supposed to love you the most gets "mad" and says "I dont want to hear it" when you say you want to fucking DIE, it is at least a PART of the problem.  If not THE problem itself.  Yes, she said she felt like it was something from her past, but again, at 19, in that state of mind, sometimes a person is not capable of really hashing through it to see where it started.  Maybe she is with the wrong master because she was running from her parents.  Maybe this maybe that.  All I can say (imo) is that when someone says "I want to die" and their master says "I dont want to hear it" that is an indication of;  A)  He doesnt care, or B. He doesnt KNOW how to care.  Either or both of which are going to hinder this girl from getting help, hence my strong suggestion to run from him (at least for now)

My statement/advice to her was not one of an anti-bdsm attitude, or anti-relationship.   That is the way you took it, along with a couple of other people who decided to jump on the band wagon and go on crusade against me to state that my advice, repsonses, attitude, and what I ate for dinner were all wrong.  I shouldnt "condemn", I shouldnt "judge" yada yada yada.  It is not your place to presume that you know where a person is coming from. Who are you to lay down a statement of fact that I condemned something?  Thats how you read it.  That doesnt necessarily make it reality

What should I have done before answering this girl?  Should I have emailed all the posters on this site to see first if they agreed with me or not?  Should I have run it past you for your stamp of approval,  before giving my advice? 

Fact of life:  People have varying opinions and views and interpretations of things.  Its ok to tell someone that you dont agree, its not ok to try to tell them that they should think like you. I may not agree with other posters here, but did I post to them to tell them that their advice was wrong?  Its up to the girl herself to determine what makes sense to her and what doesnt.

As far as the word jugement. I used it in response to gumby who threw it up at me in regards to what I said to you.  I used it with you because you threw it up with me in regards to the first message you left for me.  In other words, I was trying to speak to each of you in your own tongue. I am very well aware of the meanings of the term judgement. 

As for your third post to me...To answer your question about why I didnt respond sooner.  The answer:  It was against my better "judgement".  One of us had to be mature enough to put our differences aside and shut the fuck up until this girl got the help she needed.  It wasnt going to be you or gumby or candie (who kept going on and on about it), so *I* stopped responding.   I did not want to be a party to turning this girls thread into an argument with other people (unlike you and gumby and candie) who saw no problem in using her post as a stepping stone to pursue your own agendas. Even when I stopped answering to it, the 3 of you continued to post to me...there are several posts all in a row with nothing but the 3 of you attacking me..."marie this, marie that, marie the other thing";  to a point where the other posters began to reprimand for it.    This wasn't about me, it wasn't about you, it wasn't about our opinions of each others advice.  It was about this girl and her issue.  We all gave advice and its up to her to take what she needs and leave the stuff behind that she doesnt agree with.  I see that she hasnt posted here in several days, so I dont think its a big deal to answer you at this point.

Now...You've given me your critique of my advice (several times) and Im going to give you my critique of your character.  Your priorities and your judgement *both* suck.  This girl needed support more than I needed a lesson in vocabulary, wouldnt you agree??

As far as the other two....Well, I dont find them worthy of a response.  But you, as much as I disagree, I do not think you were trying to be malicous towards me, for the sake of a personal issue,  hence my willingness to answer. I hope I have at least helped you understand my point of view, even if you do not agree with it. 

Now, you have said your piece (several times) I have said mine.  I am now finished with this conversation.


Regards,
marie.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

This whole post should have been emailed to the parties involved. That is my opinion. Talk about hijacking threads.  

Ownedandcollared, I hope that you are feeling better now. We have not heard from you in a few days. I pray that you have taken the advice given here and sought help.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa



This whole post should have been emailed to the parties involved. That is my opinion. Talk about hijacking threads.  
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: trippingdaisy

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

This whole post should have been emailed to the parties involved. That is my opinion. Talk about hijacking threads.  

Ownedandcollared, I hope that you are feeling better now. We have not heard from you in a few days. I pray that you have taken the advice given here and sought help.

Thank You, MistressOfGa. You said it perfectly.

i'm highly disappointed that several intelligent sounding people have decided to ignore that this topic is about a girl wanting help to not DIE. i think that takes presidence over any petty arguments or disgreements that one may have with other forum members. i see a huge lack of compassion here, and i feel...pity.

ownedandcollared: Please! Let us know how you're doing?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

i am an owned and collared slave. i live and serve my Master. He is wonderful, and i love Him very much.

The problem, basically, is that i deeply want to die.

what should i do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

Thank You all for your replies, and please take my sincere apology for causing the argument.
 
~amanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

thank you for responding, all of you. And i am so sorry to have become the cause of so much conflict. Please believe me, it wasn't my intention at all, to make some of you argue.
Someone asked me why they tend to bounce me from therepist to therepist. One was,  in fact,  the *type* of relationship that i have. The others didn't feel *qualified* enough to treat me. Its kinda funny, in a sad kind of way. i'm too crazy to be treated.
 
Thank You all for your replies, and please take my sincere apology for causing the argument.
 
~amanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

thank you for responding, all of you. And i am so sorry to have become the cause of so much conflict. Please believe me, it wasn't my intention at all, to make some of you argue.
Someone asked me why they tend to bounce me from therepist to therepist. One was,  in fact,  the *type* of relationship that i have. The others didn't feel *qualified* enough to treat me. Its kinda funny, in a sad kind of way. i'm too crazy to be treated.
 
Thank You all for your replies, and please take my sincere apology for causing the argument.
 
~amanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

Someone asked me why they tend to bounce me from therepist to therepist. One was,  in fact,  the *type* of relationship that i have. The others didn't feel *qualified* enough to treat me. Its kinda funny, in a sad kind of way. i'm too crazy to be treated.
 
Thank You all for your replies, and please take my sincere apology for causing the argument.
 
~amanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

thank you for responding, all of you. And i am so sorry to have become the cause of so much conflict. Please believe me, it wasn't my intention at all, to make some of you argue.
Someone asked me why they tend to bounce me from therepist to therepist. One was,  in fact,  the *type* of relationship that i have. The others didn't feel *qualified* enough to treat me. Its kinda funny, in a sad kind of way. i'm too crazy to be treated.
 
Thank You all for your replies, and please take my sincere apology for causing the argument.
 
~amanda