RE: THe Dominant Man (Full Version)

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chatterbox24 -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 10:20:55 AM)

Last post to collar chat. Gauranteed, so rejoice.

Who is unhappy? I am deliriously happy girl! So happy it hurts. I could spin in circles.

My path is positive and I have found my way. FEELS SO GOOD.

Anyway Im not posting here anymore its to negative for me. But You all enjoy and good luck, may you find your piece of heaven too.



sincelo -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 10:23:09 AM)

I am sorry to hear you are flouncing again. There is a lot of room for growth by taking in what people are saying (somewhat) and being introspective. None of us are perfect and the learning should never stop. Tantrums will not get you there though



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 10:25:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Last post to collar chat. Gauranteed, so rejoice.

Who is unhappy? I am deliriously happy girl! So happy it hurts. I could spin in circles.

My path is positive and I have found my way. FEELS SO GOOD.

Anyway Im not posting here anymore its to negative for me. But You all enjoy and good luck, may you find your piece of heaven too.



Haven't you said that before? More than once?

Or I am confused as to who I am remembering?

Your uber drama moments tell me you should get your meds adjusted.



Karmastic -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 10:38:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sincelo

Well i personally don't think you can. That is partially why we can view old posts so that we can understand the mindset of the person posting. I am not saying people can't screw up ... it more comes from how they handle themselves when they screw up... do they blow up and call everyone cunts or say hmm that is an interesting perspective, i dont agree but it is still interesting. I have seen the former a lot from this poster.

i agree it's impossible to not let past negative experiences with a poster (or negative opinions) shade how you feel and respond to their subsequent posts. whenever i catch myself doing that, i make an extra effort to be civil and try and take their newest posts as stand-alone, and try and see how i can positively comment on their new post, while ignoring past history.

i know it would be foolish to claim i do this perfectly, or even well. but i still strive for it.

i feel bad for chatterbox because i think she's having difficulty making an important transition. and she reacted poorly to some very negative responses (some deserved, some not) to her posts. it seems like she's struggling, and it truly bothers me seeing her get slammed down even more, and then lashing back out like a bullied child. it's not productive or healthy for her or her detractors. /soapbox



PeonForHer -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 10:46:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Where does that BS come from that to be feminine you have to be submissive and just want to serve a man? Female dominants are not man hating lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with lesbians, bisexuality....)


Likewise, where does the 'real men are always dominant, that's the *natural* state of affairs' (and by implication, submales don't exist or are 'unnatural' if they do) thing come from?

I guess from the school that teaches the motto: "Never think, believe the comforting drivel - and keep saying it, over and over and over and over again, and eventually it might become the truth".



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 11:28:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic



i agree it's impossible to not let past negative experiences with a poster (or negative opinions) shade how you feel and respond to their subsequent posts. whenever i catch myself doing that, i make an extra effort to be civil and try and take their newest posts as stand-alone, and try and see how i can positively comment on their new post, while ignoring past history.

i know it would be foolish to claim i do this perfectly, or even well. but i still strive for it.

i feel bad for chatterbox because i think she's having difficulty making an important transition. and she reacted poorly to some very negative responses (some deserved, some not) to her posts. it seems like she's struggling, and it truly bothers me seeing her get slammed down even more, and then lashing back out like a bullied child. it's not productive or healthy for her or her detractors. /soapbox




This particular poster has a history of jumping on her drama llama and letting ugly invective fly out of her mouth unchecked.

If she really wants to make a transition to someone who doesn't do that, then she needs to stop doing it. I don't see a struggle here, I see someone more than willing to resort to vicious name calling. It appears to be her default. Only she can change that.



Karmastic -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 11:34:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Where does that BS come from that to be feminine you have to be submissive and just want to serve a man? Female dominants are not man hating lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with lesbians, bisexuality....)


Likewise, where does the 'real men are always dominant, that's the *natural* state of affairs' (and by implication, submales don't exist or are 'unnatural' if they do) thing come from?

I guess from the school that teaches the motto: "Never think, believe the comforting drivel - and keep saying it, over and over and over and over again, and eventually it might become the truth".


i don't want to defend drivel, and hate the stereotypes and small minded thinking.

but to answer your question, where the BS comes from...i think sexuality is a continuum, with bell curves and so on. it's human nature to not understand and disparage those who are "different", meaning, they're not on the same part of the curve as the mode (most often).

and people can be sheeples, and mob usually rules *cue "Mob Rules" by Black Sabbath*



Karmastic -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 11:41:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic



i agree it's impossible to not let past negative experiences with a poster (or negative opinions) shade how you feel and respond to their subsequent posts. whenever i catch myself doing that, i make an extra effort to be civil and try and take their newest posts as stand-alone, and try and see how i can positively comment on their new post, while ignoring past history.

i know it would be foolish to claim i do this perfectly, or even well. but i still strive for it.

i feel bad for chatterbox because i think she's having difficulty making an important transition. and she reacted poorly to some very negative responses (some deserved, some not) to her posts. it seems like she's struggling, and it truly bothers me seeing her get slammed down even more, and then lashing back out like a bullied child. it's not productive or healthy for her or her detractors. /soapbox




This particular poster has a history of jumping on her drama llama and letting ugly invective fly out of her mouth unchecked.

If she really wants to make a transition to someone who doesn't do that, then she needs to stop doing it. I don't see a struggle here, I see someone more than willing to resort to vicious name calling. It appears to be her default. Only she can change that.

some of that's true, as far as how she's reacting now. but I'll respectfully disagree in general only because it seems like others are the ones bringing up old shit and taunting and bullying her. i feel this way, regardless of how much some may feel she deserves it, or she encourages the drama. in fact, as i said, i think they're feeding on each other.

the transition i mentioned was going from lifeless vanilla marriage of convenience, to BDSM.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 11:50:53 AM)

I finally got around to reading your responses. Wish I'd done it sooner. It was marvelous.




JanahX -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:00:25 PM)

Im not sure if the boards are the place for her - she cant seem to take any criticism. Its a public board - and thats what happens.

When someone posts something she doesnt like, she freaks out. God knows what shes like in real life -



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:09:38 PM)

I think it's great you want to take the high road. Mostly I do, too.

But when I go the low road, what can I say? My mind is in the guttah !!



Karmastic -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:13:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Im not sure if the boards are the place for her - she cant seem to take any criticism. Its a public board - and thats what happens.

When someone posts something she doesnt like, she freaks out. God knows what shes like in real life -

let me confess here - i've been accused of the same things a few times over the years. i may have been too sensitive, they may have been too harsh, or a combination of both (most likely).

but the fact is, while i like you and enjoy your posts, you can be very nasty to clueless OPs, or those that don't toe some unwritten line. i.e., i don't see it as a one way street, where she's the only one "freaking out" (or whatever negative adjective you wish to use). it takes two to tango.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:14:01 PM)

There are some nasty folk on the boards who resort to schoolyard name calling whenever they feel remotely offended. I find it easy enough to just not engage them. It can also be fun to poke at them with pointed sticks.

Our posting history here lives forever. It's disingenuous to think that we can ignore the way people have posted in the past, especially when they show their pattern hasnt changed.



Karmastic -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:15:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I finally got around to reading your responses. Wish I'd done it sooner. It was marvelous.

lol! you mean you haven't been hanging on my every word?



JanahX -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:21:59 PM)

quote:

let me confess here - i've been accused of the same things a few times over the years. i may have been too sensitive, they may have been too harsh, or a combination of both (most likely).

but the fact is, while i like you and enjoy your posts, you can be very nasty to clueless OPs, or those that don't toe some unwritten line. i.e., i don't see it as a one way street, where she's the only one "freaking out" (or whatever negative adjective you wish to use). it takes two to tango.


Im voicing my truth. Some of these people deserve it - period.
As for her freaking out -she IS freaking out and thats her problem. This hasnt been the first time - and in a social situation, people dont respond well to that sort of thing. I am not a counselor here and have an endless supply of understanding and patience for people that have temper-tantrums.

As for reading other threads OP's post - I think its a DAMN good idea, if and when possible. I dont do it enough - or check peoples profiles enough that post here. What they say - and what theyre doing is a good way to get a grip really fast on how to respond.

You wernt here for the Arpig debacle - a lot of the stuff that wrapped that up came from prior posts. So that is proof in the pudding that reading and bringing up older threads is sometimes a good idea.

I have other things in life to freak out about - not posts on a public website.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:26:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I finally got around to reading your responses. Wish I'd done it sooner. It was marvelous.

lol! you mean you haven't been hanging on my every word?

quote:

I finally got around to reading your responses. Wish I'd done it sooner. It was marvelous.



_____________________________

I am highly opinionated, sarcastic, irreverent and could give a rat's ass about what's PC. *Deal with it*

(in reply to Kaliko)



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:29:22 PM)

LOL You are a very funny man.

My response was to kaliko's blow by blow response to the OP's original post. It was truly brilliant.

That's the thing about online message boards such as this. There is great, there is good, there is bad, there is clueless.

Decide your own filtering for the above and don't let it get to you.

I guess I just have a hard on for the "Look at me! I'm so offended, I am never posting again. (Until next time.)"

This after calling a long term poster here a cunt. I don't always agree with this long term poster, but all her jabs have a point (oh I love the puns).

Yeah, she can be mean. It's my considered opinion that she is (like me) mean for a reason.

This particular OP has made it clear that compassionate, insightful posts are lost on her. Maybe some mean will make her think. Unlike the rest of us, you don't know the full history.



JanahX -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:34:42 PM)

quote:

I guess I just have a hard on for the "Look at me! I'm so offended, I am never posting again. (Until next time.)"


^^^ this -----> and there always IS a next time isnt there? by hell or by highway or by sockpuppet.



LadyConstanze -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:43:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Did I say my past behaviour was pathetic? I find Your behaviour pathetic and bringing up the past shows HOW YOU THINK.

You cry dont judge, but judge me?

Darling Your attitude speaks for its self.

Someone like you could never see the beautiful sentiment of such words. And yes there are some people who would use such words to just get what they want and then there are others who would speak such words from the heart and be true.

Who are you to judge anyone YOu bitter damaged cunt? Oh Im sorry Im being judgemental.




Not only are you judgmental, you're also wrong, she's living in a relationship she has been in for a few years and she seems VERY happy and not bitter at all.

Had to click on the links and <facepalm> is the only reaction I can give, needed the palm to push up my chin...



Karmastic -> RE: THe Dominant Man (4/29/2012 12:44:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

LOL You are a very funny man.

My response was to kaliko's blow by blow response to the OP's original post. It was truly brilliant.

That's the thing about online message boards such as this. There is great, there is good, there is bad, there is clueless.

Decide your own filtering for the above and don't let it get to you.

I guess I just have a hard on for the "Look at me! I'm so offended, I am never posting again. (Until next time.)"

This after calling a long term poster here a cunt. I don't always agree with this long term poster, but all her jabs have a point (oh I love the puns).

Yeah, she can be mean. It's my considered opinion that she is (like me) mean for a reason.

This particular OP has made it clear that compassionate, insightful posts are lost on her. Maybe some mean will make her think. Unlike the rest of us, you don't know the full history.

lol! it's all good, i like being mean sometimes as well, just depends. who doesn't enjoy swatting down someone who's dissing you.

it's hard to tell you aren't replying to me when your post comes right after mine sequentially, but 10 minutes later without quotes. oh, i'm crushed![:o]



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