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Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 7:38:41 AM

BrattyBottomRN

Posts: 73
Joined: 4/3/2006
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What exactly is a hard limit?

Man I should just have a thread where I ask all my annoying questions lmao...

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RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 7:42:38 AM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
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something that a Dom/sub absolutely will NOT do under any circumstances... such as engage in acts with a child/animal, bloodplay, knifeplay, bondage, tickling, etc .....

something that is just a total " NO " for them.

T.R.

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RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 7:52:24 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Something that, unless very unlikely circumstances occurred, is not to be considered as an ok thing to do within the relationship.

I don't distinguish between hard limits and soft limits. Something is either ok to do or it's open to discussion.

Most people use the terms to mean "Things I never want to/will not be true to myself in order to do" and "Things I will do with someone if I like them enough."

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 8:32:43 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
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It's a measure of your hotness on a date ... how long you can keep that lump in your date's pants, while he watches you eat a something smothered in ranch dressing.

(in reply to BrattyBottomRN)

Post #: 4

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 9:07:45 AM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Hard limit is something I never ever plan on doing. Such examples are in the first response you got. If a dominant wants to be with me he will know that these things are off limits for eternity for me.

Soft limit is something that I currently do not know if I am interested in doing. Some of my hard limits are the very things I am burning with curiousity about, but I have a soft limit about them until I progress into a relationship with someone. It is like a trust limit for me, "When I trust you further I may want to try XYZ". At a future date this limit can be renegotiated. It is not off limits in other words

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/7/2006 9:08:15 AM >

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RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 9:11:56 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

It's a measure of your hotness on a date ... how long you can keep that lump in your date's pants, while he watches you eat a something smothered in ranch dressing.

Caitlyn!!! LMAO!! I love it.

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Post #: 6

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 9:25:05 AM

SmokeyM

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/2/2006
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Hard limit is something that is totally off limits. Soft limits are something that can be talked about and tested. Of course you should always revamp your limits every six months to a years time. Over time your tastes may change and things taken off or added to your hard / soft limits.

~ Smokey

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 7

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 11:15:18 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
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Hard Limits = No Way In Hell

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RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 11:18:08 AM

BrattyBottomRN

Posts: 73
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Outstanding, totally makes sense.

_____________________________

Nurses can stick it to ya' and make ya' like it.

Don't piss off the woman who is about to jab the 14 g needle into your arm.

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Post #: 9

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 11:19:14 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
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quote:

I don't distinguish between hard limits and soft limits. Something is either ok to do or it's open to discussion.

I would have to agree with this. Something is either ok to do, open for discussion, or not on the table at all.

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Post #: 10

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 11:23:00 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Ask as many questions as you want luv, there is no such thing as too much education and information...And in D/s it is especially so, after all, the things we do here literally put your life and well being in another's hands, or thiers in yours, so please never feel odd about asking anything.

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

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Post #: 11

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 11:24:50 AM

BrattyBottomRN

Posts: 73
Joined: 4/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Ask as many questions as you want luv, there is no such thing as too much education and information...And in D/s it is especially so, after all, the things we do here literally put your life and well being in another's hands, or thiers in yours, so please never feel odd about asking anything.

<smiles> Thanks! It is all about safety. I figured people would get over it if I looked totally green for a while not knowing what things are. I'm still pretty new to all this, and discovering how much I really love it, but I've got a LOT to learn.

So anybody who feels like they have something they can teach me or some priceless advice, bring it on! :)

_____________________________

Nurses can stick it to ya' and make ya' like it.

Don't piss off the woman who is about to jab the 14 g needle into your arm.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 12

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 11:51:19 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Well there is tons of stuff to learn, that is the best part about it, you learn about yourself, your sexuality, your programing from society, your partner, your fears, your strengths and so many other things that many folks never endeavor to explore...

But I do have one piece of wisdom that Master Steve gave me when I first started out, this thing is like a hunger, a ravenous consuming hunger, especially when you are new you want to feast on everything from the banquet...but try to pace yourself, learn to trust yourself, and take your time, keep your mind and your eyes open, the folks here are not any different then the folks in vanilla, mostly good, some bad, and some really really awful, so just keep your wits about you....and remember to always have fun!

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to BrattyBottomRN)

Post #: 13

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 12:17:15 PM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrattyBottomRN

..... It is all about safety. .....

It is ??? Hell I thought it was about having Fun

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BrattyBottomRN)

Post #: 14

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 12:19:42 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

A 'hard limit' is a list of activities and/or conditions that a dominant-submissive gives their facilitating submissive dominant.

Think of it in the same context as instruction you give a masseuse, barber, car mechanic, or anyone you use to provide a service to you. For example, when you go to 'Jiffy Lube' when you complete your check list you tell them to change the oil, but do not change the air filter. You may need an the air filter, if you knew what it did you may really want the air filter; but you can't trust the mechanic since your daddy said NEVER get an air filter from 'Jiffy Lube' because it's a rip off.

At some point your car may not run as well as your neighbor's who has the same make/model and comparable miles, and you may wonder why your experience wasn't as good as theirs. The answer is you maintained your 'hard limits'; and never had a mechanic good enough and willing to take the time to discuss them and/or determine if they are in reality hindering the car's performance.

(in reply to BrattyBottomRN)

Post #: 15

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 12:25:19 PM

BrattyBottomRN

Posts: 73
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrattyBottomRN

..... It is all about safety. .....

It is ??? Hell I thought it was about having Fun

Hahaha... touche.

_____________________________

Nurses can stick it to ya' and make ya' like it.

Don't piss off the woman who is about to jab the 14 g needle into your arm.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 16

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 2:43:03 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

quote:

What exactly is a hard limit?

Man I should just have a thread where I ask all my annoying questions lmao...

a hard limit is saying you will never give Godzilla head

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Post #: 17

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 2:47:11 PM

brattysub4

Posts: 189
Joined: 8/18/2005
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i agree with most everyone else it is something in no manner will be done or approached by me

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 18

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 2:58:02 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

I just want to add that Limits are not soley sexual/play. Limits also can include things such as not allowing your Dominant control over your religious practices or any decision making in regards to your professional life or any other area you do not wnt to give him control of. My profile mentions that "football is a hard limit.. if the game is on, you are not". That truley is a hard limit for me, among other things.

mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 6/7/2006 3:03:55 PM >

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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Post #: 19

RE: Hard limits? - 6/7/2006 3:02:03 PM

maybemaybenot

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Joined: 9/22/2005
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deleted due to duplication of prev. post
mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 6/7/2006 3:03:20 PM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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Post #: 20

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