Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Kink With Respect


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Kink With Respect Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 9:47:15 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover

Respect for the aspects of BDSM

for those who did not even care to read the context
I will put in here
quote:


There are 3 parts to BDSM and for those of you who do not know what they are I will explain. First is the “B/d” aspect, literally meaning Bondage and discipline. They may or may not go together, depending on whom you talk to. However, I think all can agree they constitute the first part. The Second part is “D/s”, which many just do not seem to see. This aspect means Domination and submission. It also encompasses the Master/slave relationship as well. It may, or may not, include other aspects of BDSM. However, if you are into this part, you are into part of what BDSM stands for. Finally, and importantly, is the S/m part, standing for Sadomasochism. This behavior encompasses a wide range of the lifestyle, but does not necessarily include the first 2 parts.


for those who cant help but attacking for no obvious reason relevant to the post
go on ... have fun ... enjoy

Now is when we could Use LuckyAlbatross, to pull up all the threads debating what bdsm stands for.

I see no attacks, just folks stating their take on the topic you posted. I honestly do not know what you even think the topic is, unless it is "tell me I am right or go away".

Hopefully you will get someone here telling you what you want to hear.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to FemalecumLover)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 10:04:52 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Okay Ill bite.

I dont see the thread as condoning murder, incest, nonconsenual rape, etc etc. That topic is on Killerpsycho.com.

IM onboard. Respect others opinions and kinks (within reason)

Ill agree with that, although I dont always play nice. :)

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 6/20/2012 10:05:34 AM >

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 10:39:28 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		There are some kinks, actually perversions that some claim to be kinks, that I absolutely do not respect or think well of those who practice them. Why should I? I can deal just fine with those who have kinks I don't like or find yucky, but when something heinous is claimed as a kink? Um no, just no, never, uh uh, ain't happening. What I'm talking about are those that are not between consenting adults, but claimed as kinks. Those aren't kinks. My respect for others is earned, not given. I don't respect kinks, I accept that others have different kinks and if it floats your boat, great.

Just because I'm into bdsm doesn't mean I have to automatically accept or respect anyone or anything else connected to that. I don't expect to be accepted or respected just because I'm into it either. There is no all inclusive tolerance for anyone or anything labeled kink or bdsm by someone, nor should there be since not all of it is kink or bdsm. Trying to label it as such doesn't make it such.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 11:03:00 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover

My kink is better than your kink?
Never! It is just our way of doing things.

What we all need to remember is my kink and your kink is, in the end,OUR kink,
and we really need to learn to stand together
and respect one another for our individuality as well as our collective identity.

If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other and stand side-by-side
in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love

how can we expect others to look at us any differently
when we cannot even do that with each other?

Remember United we stand, Divided we fall.

miria hunter

for all CM members ... I respect you all

I'd rather have your authentic hate than unearned respect. Hate, at least, I will have earned.

The blog is rather dehumanizing in my opinion and very shallow. It takes the smallest piece of me and assigns an intrinsic value totally disregarding any other qualities that I may have.. whether those qualities are noble in nature or vile in action .. and tosses them aside for the sake of standing side by side in unity.

Not in this world. Some of us stand, some of us kneel and many do both. Standing side by side, elbow to elbow as it were, makes it quite difficult to swing the flogger with accurancy and when it comes to kink, I want to be on Top or on bottom, in front or in back.. not side by side.

We have places such as CM for chit chat, education, sharing.. the occasional joyful trainwreck, but if someone is coming here seeking to gain unearned respect, for the most part, it's just not going to happen.

Courtsey, I believe is owed as a first course of action. Clarity, I believe is generally warranted when there is honest miscommunication and, ideally, will be offered. Expectations beyond those two things can diminish the quality of the time which one chooses to spend in these forums or in other venues. Generally, the boards (and your world) will be exactly as you want them to be. You have that power.. we all do. If you wield it and use it wisely your experience here can be enriched. Your experience can also feel like a train wreck so I guess how you lay the track is going to determine how bumpy or smooth your ride is here and in life.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to FemalecumLover)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 11:10:02 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover

quote:


There are 3 parts to BDSM and for those of you who do not know what they are I will explain. First is the “B/d” aspect, literally meaning Bondage and discipline. They may or may not go together, depending on whom you talk to. However, I think all can agree they constitute the first part. The Second part is “D/s”, which many just do not seem to see. This aspect means Domination and submission. It also encompasses the Master/slave relationship as well. It may, or may not, include other aspects of BDSM. However, if you are into this part, you are into part of what BDSM stands for. Finally, and importantly, is the S/m part, standing for Sadomasochism. This behavior encompasses a wide range of the lifestyle, but does not necessarily include the first 2 parts.


for those who cant help but attacking for no obvious reason relevant to the post
go on ... have fun ... enjoy


Actually, the original acronym is Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism. The D/s portion is a bastardization of the acronym by people on the internet. You can actually engage in BDSM without engaging in D/s at all. You can engage in D/s without engaging in BDSM at all.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to FemalecumLover)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 11:35:57 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		"Courtsey, I believe is owed as a first course of action. Clarity, I believe is generally warranted when there is honest miscommunication and, ideally, will be offered. Expectations beyond those two things can diminish the quality of the time which one chooses to spend in these forums or in other venues. Generally, the boards (and your world) will be exactly as you want them to be. You have that power.. we all do. If you wield it and use it wisely your experience here can be enriched. Your experience can also feel like a train wreck so I guess how you lay the track is going to determine how bumpy or smooth your ride is here and in life. "

This. And what Oside said.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 12:04:28 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover


how can we expect others to look at us any differently



I don't need to be viewed differently, thank you. Folks can decide to take me or leave me on their own.


< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 6/20/2012 12:07:10 PM >

(in reply to FemalecumLover)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 12:14:41 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover

My kink is better than your kink?
Never! It is just our way of doing things.

What we all need to remember is my kink and your kink is, in the end,OUR kink,
and we really need to learn to stand together
and respect one another for our individuality as well as our collective identity.

If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other and stand side-by-side
in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love

how can we expect others to look at us any differently
when we cannot even do that with each other?

Remember United we stand, Divided we fall.

miria hunter

for all CM members ... I respect you all

I'd rather have your authentic hate than unearned respect. Hate, at least, I will have earned.

The blog is rather dehumanizing in my opinion and very shallow. It takes the smallest piece of me and assigns an intrinsic value totally disregarding any other qualities that I may have.. whether those qualities are noble in nature or vile in action .. and tosses them aside for the sake of standing side by side in unity.

Not in this world. Some of us stand, some of us kneel and many do both. Standing side by side, elbow to elbow as it were, makes it quite difficult to swing the flogger with accurancy and when it comes to kink, I want to be on Top or on bottom, in front or in back.. not side by side.

We have places such as CM for chit chat, education, sharing.. the occasional joyful trainwreck, but if someone is coming here seeking to gain unearned respect, for the most part, it's just not going to happen.

Courtsey, I believe is owed as a first course of action. Clarity, I believe is generally warranted when there is honest miscommunication and, ideally, will be offered. Expectations beyond those two things can diminish the quality of the time which one chooses to spend in these forums or in other venues. Generally, the boards (and your world) will be exactly as you want them to be. You have that power.. we all do. If you wield it and use it wisely your experience here can be enriched. Your experience can also feel like a train wreck so I guess how you lay the track is going to determine how bumpy or smooth your ride is here and in life.


I love you.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 12:21:36 PM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover





quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover

http://www.withinreality.com/miria3.html

Thats why I put this link
so people would keep it relevant

we have gone so far off topic in here !



I'm sorry but I'm laughing here. When I read those two posts in tandem, the image in my head was of a small child having a temper tantrum. I know that sounds insulting to the OP, and truly, I don't mean to do so, but I couldn't help have that image!

I don't believe this thread has gotten off topic it all, as everyone has expressed how they view the idea of respect in kink. Obviously for a lot of people, respect has some very distinct meanings and it is not a word they use casually.

If you consider all that people define as kink, it is impossible to have all of it be acceptable, particularly when the fringes of it involve behaviour that is ethically wrong by society's standards. One that comes to mind, though certainly not the only one, is bestiality. Do you respect that kink?

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to FemalecumLover)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 12:42:05 PM   
FemalecumLover


Posts: 131
Joined: 4/22/2012
Status: offline 		This is starting to be Amusing
Go on

< Message edited by FemalecumLover -- 6/20/2012 12:43:05 PM >

_____________________________


You pry apart my thighs and tell me to be still
And I willingly submit to you
because I love the way you dominate me
Demanding that I cum for you so I do as I'm told

http://youtu.be/a0U3sBfw98o

http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/15413

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 1:03:31 PM   
tameeks


Posts: 173
Status: offline 		What, I say again, what is it with people asking question here and getting mad when they don't get the answers they seek? No one was disrespectful, no one is posting off topic, they just don't agree with what you are saying. It's really simple.


(in reply to FemalecumLover)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 1:36:17 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD


quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover



I don't believe this thread has gotten off topic it all

A really good example of going off topic would be me saying a big
H E L L O
to DeviantlyD, and telling her how happy I am to see her posting more lately.

But, being the well behaved forum poster that I am, I won't do that.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:01:35 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'm going to look at the respect thing from 2 angles.

Firstly, the people. I have pulled away from my local scene over the last year because I cannot respect many of the people in there. It's nothing to do with their kinks, it's because in my opinion they are dicks.

Secondly, the kinks. The bit where she lumps all kinks in together as 'our kink' is just so much bull-cacky. My kinks are my kinks. Your kinks are your kinks. If you are into being barfed on while having a pineapple shoved roughly up your unlubed ass, trust me I ain't gonna respect that.

But having said that, I will tolerate it. As long as it's legal and you don't shove it in my face (or offer me pineapple slices...ewww!) you can do what the hell you like. I can't guarantee to like it, understand it or respect it, but I will give you tolerance.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:08:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		so op, since you seem to think we're off topic and since it IS your thread, want to explain to all us what exactly going on about if we supposedly don't understand?

We can't get back "on topic" if you feel we're "off topic" unless you tell us.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:16:00 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Okay Ill bite.

I dont see the thread as condoning murder, incest, nonconsenual rape, etc etc. That topic is on Killerpsycho.com.

IM onboard. Respect others opinions and kinks (within reason)


the above comes closest to what i would say. i think a lot of people assumed OP was condoning things he wasn't condoning. of course, everything is within reason.

i took her post as a call for tolerance, for WIITWD. i don't understand why people seemed to read into that. perhaps because English is a second language for OP, and she's eager to contribute and puts herself out there, people misunderstand her. i.e., if she put it in terms this board uses (memes?), the same message would get quite a different reaction.

I agree with the general sentiment, that respect is earned.

More than that, for me, a person's character is the kind of respect that's important, not some ego driven respect for being an anointed BDSM expert, or x years of certified BDSM accredited experience. this elitist attitude is what seems to drive the whole ugly "real & fake" thing, and it's beyond me why people don't see that.

If everyone stopped worrying about how real or fake everyone else was, or how much or little "experience" others have, and just respected each other, the world would be a better place. /rodney king can't we all just get along


edit: OP, i'm very sorry i goofed, edited to change he to she.

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 6/20/2012 2:43:10 PM >

_____________________________

[Awaiting Approval]

If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:19:12 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Sorry, I don't have tolerance for all bdsm. There may be things that others may want to see at a bdsm club or have tolerance for and will put up with it while I don't and I will walk into another room or outside or leave.

Same as with anything in any part of my life. There are people I can't tolerate at my church and I do my best to avoid them. I don't hate them but they grate my nerves. One grates me just with his voice. It's like chalk on a chalkboard. lol


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:25:00 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Sorry, I don't have tolerance for all bdsm. There may be things that others may want to see at a bdsm club or have tolerance for and will put up with it while I don't and I will walk into another room or outside or leave.

Same as with anything in any part of my life. There are people I can't tolerate at my church and I do my best to avoid them. I don't hate them but they grate my nerves. One grates me just with his voice. It's like chalk on a chalkboard. lol


i happen to agree with you. there's plenty of BDSM things that i think are unhealthy, and can never be in the long term interest of those doing it. in fact, i think some of it is rather gross. and i don't condone unlawful acts - no one has in this thread so far, so that's a red herring.

but i abhor fascism, and will not speak out against others doing WIITWD, or try to judge what i think might be self destructive.


_____________________________

[Awaiting Approval]

If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:48:21 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I never said you had to speak out about it but if I find something I can't tolerate then I remove myself from that situation. But I'm not gonna sit around and say "I shouldn't judge what they're doing because it is wiitwd".




_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:56:33 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never said you had to speak out about it but if I find something I can't tolerate then I remove myself from that situation. But I'm not gonna sit around and say "I shouldn't judge what they're doing because it is wiitwd".

i thought about editing my reply to make my agreement to what you just elaborated on more clear, so i'm sorry i didn't.

yes, or course, i don't want to watch certain things either, and will not.

i didn't understand your comment, in replying to my comments on respect, and elitism...

"Sorry, I don't have tolerance for all bdsm."

because i don't think i had written anything before that, which disagreed with what you subsequently said. respect is a different concept than tolerance. i.e., i can still respect someone's right to do something, even though it's a squick for me, and i don't want to see it. heck, there's plenty of quite normal things that i just don't want to see other people doing, even though i do them myself.


_____________________________

[Awaiting Approval]

If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Kink With Respect - 6/20/2012 2:58:49 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I can't guarantee to like it, understand it or respect it, but I will give you tolerance.

I won't; I'm a judgemental little fucker, me.

I have difficulty understanding why the fact that someone likes to engage in something outside of the sexual norm means that they deserve my respect. It doesn't make them Mother blinking Teresa, and it doesn't mean I want to stand united with them.

Seriously, if they haven't been to a GUM clinic recently I've got no idea what I might catch if I was shoulder to shoulder with them.

Basic human courtesy? Sure. Respect? Nah.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Kink With Respect Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109