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Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:43:09 PM   
Lasttime2


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:47:06 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Control is part of D/s, whether the dominant doing so is good or bad.
 
Predators and psychos see the kinky world, and women looking to give up control, as an opportunity for them to prey. These are less dominants than criminals and the insane.
 
Women go back to what?

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:47:39 PM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		Is your point that men are crazy or women are doormats?

Edited to get rid of what the typo fairy left for me, and to be clear that I meant the original poster.

There oughta be a way to disable that "in reply to [..]" feature.  It makes me feel like I always should include "not replying to the member who's posted directly above me"

< Message edited by timeoutgurlie -- 6/7/2006 7:51:57 PM >

(in reply to Lasttime2)
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RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:48:27 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Its not insecurity for me, its faith and courage that there Is a good Dom out there somewhere, and not to give up because there are some A**holes out there.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:52:36 PM   
Lasttime2


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		They go back to abusive masters! Why ????

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:53:31 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

Havent you heard? We all powerful and mighty. We can be anything we want to.
quote:

 
What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

Going back to what?
quote:

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!

Freedom of choice, ain't it grand?

_____________________________





(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:54:18 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Fear, weakness, desire....... that part is sad, too true.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:54:49 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

They go back to abusive masters! Why ????


Oooooh, well, one person's abuse is another persons kink. I'm sorry you are hurting. I hope things look up for you soon.

_____________________________





(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:56:08 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2
Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!


I don't know any Dominants that are controlling, predatory and simply psychotic....and I know a LOT of Dominants.

None of those qualities are any that I would associate with Dominance though. Those are qualities that I would associate with someone who is controlling, predatory and simply psychotic....and most likely very insecure.

The qualities that I do associate with Dominance are more along the lines of self assurance, even temperment, intelligence, thoughtfulness, fairness, self control, emotionally balanced, etc., etc.......all positive.



_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 7:57:32 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		I suppose it's the same reasons that abused wives/partners go back to their abusers in the Vanilla world.
I'm not being a smart ass. It's no different here, than there.

                                       mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 8:03:00 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not quite sure exactly what your whinging about, are you wondering why some, Dom's are domineering? Or are you wondering why women are drawn to men YOU do not approve of?
There is a difference between a dominant man and a domineering one.

Many women want to be able to hand control over to someone they trust not to abuse the right of holding that control.

As for why women return to men that can be domineering or abuseful, well that depends on the situation, maybe they feel that they can not make it on their own, maybe they feel he has some power of them ..who knows why people do what they do, each person has his/her own reasoning..and sometimes it's painful to be a friend or love one who has to watch.

Yours,
dancer

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 8:04:50 PM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Last time? Your question seems really generic. As if all women go back to abusive "doms" and all doms are abusive, predatory, ect...

Methinks that someone had a bad experience with someone. Sometimes people just don't know what they want and they go back to what is familiar. Or they feel alive when dwelling in trauma.

I don't know. I don't like people hurting me.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 8:22:44 PM   
Brosco


Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!




I was with a sub who would do this and I also could never understand it until much later.  A friend explained it to me as just a variation of the self harm scenario.  After doing some research on the topic it certainly fitted - just that she wasn't using razor blades to inflict the self harm.

Brosco

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 8:35:36 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!


IMO...if I am reading this right then I get the impression that you lost out to another Dominant who had been labeled controlling predatory and psychotic by a submissive you had interest in, and now cannot understand why you lost out to such a Dominant....answer....human nature...or possibly they had a history she found difficult to walk away from...he wasnt as bad as she painted him out to be...better the devil you know than the one you dont...he understood her better than you did.....ad infinitum.....I am sorry you experienced such if this is the case....be well...Tempting

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 8:45:21 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I don't know any Dominants that are controlling, predatory and simply psychotic....and I know a LOT of Dominants.

None of those qualities are any that I would associate with Dominance though. Those are qualities that I would associate with someone who is controlling, predatory and simply psychotic....and most likely very insecure.

The qualities that I do associate with Dominance are more along the lines of self assurance, even temperment, intelligence, thoughtfulness, fairness, self control, emotionally balanced, etc., etc.......all positive.


Damut mist, how did you get the password for your account? You know once I stalked and plundered you everything is mine. And now that I have made you sever all contact with everyone.... tell twice and her house hi for me. Furthermore, how did you get out of the well???? It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole, and the Joe Dirt stays in the hole! Don't even get me mentioning unmentionables on here that no one should mention to the WWW populace!!! Now... No soup for you!
 
OP, it might serve you well to discuss this with the Dom in question. It sounds as if you are getting one side of this and making a rash sweeping statement. I am of course assuming that a woman has posed you with this situation and you are having a difficult time processing it.


_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 9:09:19 PM   
PrivateLabel


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

They go back to abusive masters! Why ????


If they are truly abusive then they are not a Master.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 9:13:56 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld
Damut mist, how did you get the password for your account? You know once I stalked and plundered you everything is mine. And now that I have made you sever all contact with everyone.... tell twice and her house hi for me. Furthermore, how did you get out of the well???? It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole, and the Joe Dirt stays in the hole! Don't even get me mentioning unmentionables on here that no one should mention to the WWW populace!!! Now... No soup for you!


ROFLMAO.....with my secret coded backup password of course....I haven't had contact with anyone I swear....only nameless, faceless words on a screen......

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 9:29:58 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

They go back to abusive masters! Why ????


I think it is a combination of low self esteem and the fact that they may think that is how a Dom is supposed to behave. And many will complain but still want the abuse.  

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 9:31:58 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmmm..... I was wondering where I left my decoder ring. And Damut!!!! No contact with anyone and I mean it.
 
 
*encrypted msg*
I'll get my profile up in a day or two but feel free to drop me a line on Klashaan forums; I have a mailbox there that is dependable.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 9:38:52 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld
Hmmmm..... I was wondering where I left my decoder ring. And Damut!!!! No contact with anyone and I mean it.
 


Ah yes, I found it.  Anyway, you should be more careful...don't you know that rings can slip off easily if they're wet?????

Stop putting your hands in the soup!!!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 20
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