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Help - 7/3/2012 9:13:47 PM

MASTERTABOO1974

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/18/2012
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HI. I am a brand new master and need help in getting a slave to serve me. How should I go about it? All help appreciated.

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RE: Help - 7/3/2012 10:09:03 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hi there! Welcome to the collarme forums!

1. You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.
2. I honestly don't know what you are. Your profile states that you're a switch.
3. Assuming that you really do want a slave, go out to local functions and meet sub women. Start a relationship with one, and convert it to M/s over a few years as she learns to trust you and your capabilities.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MASTERTABOO1974)

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RE: Help - 7/3/2012 11:25:54 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

You could start by actually filling out your profile. Don't make it "kink centric" although do list some of the things you are interested in. Focus on who you are in a person, and what kind of person attracts you (again, not relying on the kink aspects).

As your profile is right now, there is nothing there to spark much interest in anyone searching profiles if yours comes up, or to make them interested in you should you write to them.

Gorgeous dog though.

(in reply to MASTERTABOO1974)

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RE: Help - 7/3/2012 11:56:48 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERTABOO1974

HI. I am a brand new master and need help in getting a slave to serve me. How should I go about it? All help appreciated.

First, you need to make some decisions. Do you want to micro-manage or have a slave with more autonomy to be proactive in their service to you? Do you have long term goals or are you looking for something on the side to kill time? Will service involve pain, punishment, domestic chores/errands, something else? Sort out those things so you can have a clear understanding of what 'you' want first. You can always tweak later (and should - slaves are not fungible) but a solid foundation is going to be to your benefit. Knowledge is power <-- believe it

After you decide on the kind of slave you want then you have to be the sort of Master who attracts that sort of slave while still being true to yourself especially if you are looking for a multi-faceted person rather attempting to scratch an itch. Nothing wrong with either of those by the way.. just be up front about what you want. Feel free to toss aside your inihibitions as you desire but keep your authenticity close so that the one who falls for 'you' isn't really falling for some idealized mask of you.

Then it's simply a matter of proceeding to live the person you aspire to be and you'll attract whom you attract and will deserve exactly the slave you acquire.

Good luck.

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 7/3/2012 11:59:29 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to MASTERTABOO1974)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 3:46:48 AM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
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I wonder if you actually read any of the old topics and got some help that way, and not just were lazy and put this topic up.

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to MASTERTABOO1974)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 4:09:00 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Me, personally, I like em in a french maid outfit when performing service

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to FrankAr)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 4:19:58 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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To build one's confidence, it is best to start with one's toes, I suspect. Watch them. If they wiggle, exercize your will that they stop wiggling. If they do not wiggle, exercize your will that they wiggle. If they obey you, you will have made significant progress. If not, then keep at it until you either succeed or realize that being a master is not your vocation.

(in reply to MASTERTABOO1974)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 5:16:52 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hi there! Welcome to the collarme forums!

1. You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.

I've been with MANY who were not active in the community (because I am not active myself and abhor it) but they are still MASTERS. Sorry DS there is no hard fast rule in what defines a Master. There have probably been two zillion and one discussions on what defines a Master.

< Message edited by lilcracker -- 7/4/2012 5:18:18 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 5:40:47 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hi there! Welcome to the collarme forums!

1. You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.

I've been with MANY who were not active in the community (because I am not active myself and abhor it) but they are still MASTERS. Sorry DS there is no hard fast rule in what defines a Master. There have probably been two zillion and one discussions on what defines a Master.

While I don't think you need any recognition besides that of your slave in regards to being considered a master, I do agree with DS that this guy doesn't seem to fit the bill...
"Brand new master"? How can you be brand new at it?
Do you mean you are new and aspire to be a master?
If so my advice is to read back through all the past topics on here.
Then you can make specific posts, this is to broad a subject.

Also, wouldn't a good definition on here for master be just,
Someone who has experience keeping slaves?

-ARIES

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to lilcracker)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 7:11:47 AM

kanina

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hi there! Welcome to the collarme forums!

1. You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.

I've been with MANY who were not active in the community (because I am not active myself and abhor it) but they are still MASTERS. Sorry DS there is no hard fast rule in what defines a Master. There have probably been two zillion and one discussions on what defines a Master.

At least the person need to know alot, needs to be a master at something... Qualified.

Not like the one in one of the messages i received that said he was 18, a master and wanted me to relocate after training me for 3 month online, me wonders how can someone be a master at 18.

_____________________________

Non nobis, domine, sed domine Tuo da gloriam

(in reply to lilcracker)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 7:15:37 AM

wildernessbitch

Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline

A woman can come here and call themselves a brand new Mistress and everyone welcomes her. A man comes and says the same sentence and the "You're not a Master" group jumps out of the bushes.

Taboo guy you find them the same way you find other women.

(in reply to kanina)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 8:27:50 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
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brand new submissive---online Master-----inexperienced Master----brand new slave---what difference does it make what someone titles themselves. Of course I have my own defination of Master, Dominant, slave and submissive and sometimes I shudder to myself. But it would be pretty arrogant of me to distitle someone else of their claim based on my personal definition. And it especially nags me when one claims the only way to truly 'be' is to have affiliation to the local community. I went to a few gatherings and personally it left me cold. I prefer to be private about my activities but that doesn't make me less than someone else. The fact that I began my journey in this lifestyle in my early 20's and I am now in my mid 40's does not make me more than someone who has say 5 yrs under their belt.

To the orignal post, find someone who is the ying to your yang. For myself personally, I don't care how he titles himself, how many years he claims to have, how affliated he is with his local community or how many toys he has---I care mostly about how he carries himself as a person and if he is compatible to ME. And arrogance I'm afraid is a complete turn off!

(in reply to kanina)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 9:53:05 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker
I've been with MANY who were not active in the community (because I am not active myself and abhor it) but they are still MASTERS. Sorry DS there is no hard fast rule in what defines a Master. There have probably been two zillion and one discussions on what defines a Master.

*shrugs* I see both viewpoints as correct. I am definitely Carol's master. I know that because she agrees it is true. I also understand that for a lot of people the label "master" is not a relationship label but a community label. For those people I am not a master.

Insofar as what the OP is, I'd say he is him. The easy answer to his question is...

a) Make sure you're worthy of whatever authority you wish to wield.
b) Go find someone who wishes to yield authority.

Honestly, getting other humans to cede authority is not exactly tricky. People readily yield to other people they assess as "worthy" in whatever way they measure worthiness.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to lilcracker)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 10:13:30 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

A woman can come here and call themselves a brand new Mistress and everyone welcomes her. A man comes and says the same sentence and the "You're not a Master" group jumps out of the bushes.

Nonsense. Perhaps someone else will be kind enough to point you to the Resurrected Queen and Ballbusting Safely threads.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to wildernessbitch)

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Post #: 14

RE: Help - 7/4/2012 10:18:36 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch

A woman can come here and call themselves a brand new Mistress and everyone welcomes her. A man comes and says the same sentence and the "You're not a Master" group jumps out of the bushes.

Taboo guy you find them the same way you find other women.

These are two different things. Mistress is a form of address or a title. As a title it is used to show control over something or authority. Master has the same meaning with the additional implication of implying expert skill. Go look the two things up, I really can't stand putting the dictionary meanings in a thread. Plus think of how the terms are used in common society, saying Mistress is generally an address or title showing respect. Using the term Master generally implies the same, with the acknowledgement that the person being addressed has a body of knowledge in a subject. Also, the term Master is not gender specific, a Mistress is not necessarily a Master but can certainly be a Master - two different things, apples and oranges. Saying that young women here calling themselves Mistresses are welcomed is not always true. I have seen though that anyone implying skill that they do not seem to have, is rightfully pointed out as being dangerous in both sexes.

DS was perfectly justified in making the point that the OP of this thread could be setting himself up for failure in calling himself something he does not deserve at this point, as he is brand new at all of it- women may be shying away from someone who is setting themselves up as something they are not. Since he wanted to know how to get a slave it seems pretty darn pertinent to let him know that he's getting off on the wrong foot. Doesn't matter how people define Master specifically, in general it means some knowledge which the OP admits he does not have and he's shooting himself in the foot by using the term.

(in reply to wildernessbitch)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 10:22:12 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hi there! Welcome to the collarme forums!

1. You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.

I've been with MANY who were not active in the community (because I am not active myself and abhor it) but they are still MASTERS. Sorry DS there is no hard fast rule in what defines a Master. There have probably been two zillion and one discussions on what defines a Master.

Community recognition is part of what makes a yoga or pranayama master. In many countries, master electricians and carpenters go through a certification process. I have no problem with outside involvement being part of the definition of a BDSM master, especially where a technical skill is involved. I do have a problem with people proclaiming "I am a master" when, in fact, they have mastered NOTHING.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to lilcracker)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 10:24:00 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch

A woman can come here and call themselves a brand new Mistress and everyone welcomes her.

I'm going to disagree with you on that one. There are lots of threads with "Good luck with that errrrrrr 'princess'

" or someting very similar somewhere multiple times in them.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to wildernessbitch)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 10:44:43 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I agree with the previous 3 posts.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 10:48:55 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Community recognition is part of what makes a yoga or pranayama master. In many countries, master electricians and carpenters go through a certification process. I have no problem with outside involvement being part of the definition of a BDSM master, especially where a technical skill is involved. I do have a problem with people proclaiming "I am a master" when, in fact, they have mastered NOTHING.

Yes, I have a problem as well with someone using the term Master in a BDSM context where nothing is mastered, because someone else can be seriously and irrevocably hurt by believing in the misleading implication. The threads on breast play gone wrong make me sick to my stomach, as do other things I've read on here where someone who doesn't know what they are doing sets themselves up as having that knowledge, and their partner trusts them as knowing what they are doing and is hurt. Sometimes very badly hurt.

I don't really care what people's personal definition of Master is and they're entitled to think what they want, the term does imply a thorough knowledge of BDSM stuff. Someone more or less claiming that knowledge without having it by using the term is fraudulent to my mind, and should be called on it before someone gets hurt. It's no different than wanting truth in advertising in other areas of our lives. If a car has had flood damage or a box of cereal is called Blueberries and Flakes but has no blueberries, then we all want to be apprised of that before we buy either of those two things. If something is called organic and is not -that is important to consumers. There have been beaucoup laws protecting the public as having the right to know what they are buying/eating. Why does it tick people off if you put a ten year old picture on a profile claiming it's you? Because it's not true and people don't like being misled. Does someone who goes to the dentist want a gardener to work on their teeth? In the land of BDSM mislabeling yourself can be more important than buying a flashlight that looks like metal on the box, but is in fact cheaply painted plastic.

(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 11:14:50 AM

wildernessbitch

Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_4095843/mpage_1/key_New%252CMistress/tm.htm#4095843
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3692537/mpage_1/key_New%252CMistress/tm.htm#3692537
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2998989/mpage_1/key_New%252CMistress/tm.htm#2998989
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2768517/mpage_1/key_New%252CMistress/tm.htm#2768517

I didn't go off the first page. I did not say anything about the women calling themselves "Queens" or "Princesses"
I said Mistress which is the feminine of Master.
Now I hold a Master's Degree. I know people who are Master Journeymen of his or her trade. I don't know of anyone who wants to be called Master other than in BDSM and I don't assume that each person that slaps that label on themselves is somehow more grand than those who don't. (Even if it is earned in the community.

(in reply to lizi)

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