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RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:29:50 PM   
wildernessbitch


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline 		You can call yourself that sure. It is up to you to make people deliver you coffee though.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:32:01 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Steven did NOT attack the noob. he pointed out that
quote:

LOTS of people claim to be Masters
.




He could have worded it differently. I am still put off by the being known by the community part.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:33:49 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		That's very true. But how would it seem to you if someone walked onto a job site SAYING they had a skill set and they didn't. Would you feel pleased and accepting because 'anyone can call themselves anything'? Remember that guy who scammed his way into several professions?

There is no BDSM school of accreditation, and there are plenty of leatherfolk that I wouldn't trust with a burnt out match. When some newb prances out and says ME MASTER WANT SLAVE and asks for fucking HINTS? That person should be bitchslapped. Because while what we do is for life enhancement, and fun, it's also srs bsns.

That I don't bother swimming against the tide and protesting shows ennui, not tolerance. I've always felt that if you can't swim in the deep waters you don't belong in this life. Let them pound their chests. I will be here to help the ones who stick around.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to wildernessbitch)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:35:38 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		I'm afraid the slave store is closed for today...you will have to come back tomorrow

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:36:40 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch

You can call yourself that sure. It is up to you to make people deliver you coffee though.




Exactly. I can CALL myself anything I want to. whether others will ackowledge or accept that is an entirely different thing. For most who have been active in the community of TTTWD, having some random kid show up calling himself a master and asking how to find a sub/alve is, at best, comical.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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(in reply to wildernessbitch)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:42:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker
He could have worded it differently. I am still put off by the being known by the community part.

Can you accept that not all of kink is cut from the same cloth? There are some who agree with the community part, because they/we are leather folks, not BDSMers and earning leather in the community is a part of our lifestyle. At the same token, most Goreans don't call Me a Master because I haven't read the books and am not male. Still, others don't see the use of the Master title if they have never owned a slave.

Am I going to respect somebody who thought they became a Master by creating a screen name and an account on a message board? Nope. People can call themselves what they like, but that doesn't mean everybody has to believe it or can't call them on it.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lilcracker)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 12:45:31 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		LOL Lady H, it happens on my job site daily. Interviewer question---How was your attendance on your last job? Never missed a day! Truth they missed weeks at a time! One job title I had was 'shift supervisor' the job entailed supervising a bunch of elderly folks in an old age home. It's all subjective just like the titles here---I argue with my current partner all the time over my title. He says, I am slave. I say bedroom submissive. I've been called 'fake' a time or hundred too and LOL I worked very hard to earn that title.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 1:01:10 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		Yes, LadyPact that is exactly what I am saying. Not every kink is cut of the same cloth. With that said, IMO A Master does not have to be known by his community. But if I were to say, in order for a man to be a Master he must NOT be known by his community. I would be sticking my foot in my mouth because I would be totally out of line and wrong and be deserving of a dressing down.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 1:36:09 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERTABOO1974

HI. I am a brand new master and need help in getting a slave to serve me. How should I go about it? All help appreciated.


First, you need to make some decisions. Do you want to micro-manage or have a slave with more autonomy to be proactive in their service to you? Do you have long term goals or are you looking for something on the side to kill time? Will service involve pain, punishment, domestic chores/errands, something else? Sort out those things so you can have a clear understanding of what 'you' want first. You can always tweak later (and should - slaves are not fungible) but a solid foundation is going to be to your benefit. Knowledge is power <-- believe it

After you decide on the kind of slave you want then you have to be the sort of Master who attracts that sort of slave while still being true to yourself especially if you are looking for a multi-faceted person rather attempting to scratch an itch. Nothing wrong with either of those by the way.. just be up front about what you want. Feel free to toss aside your inihibitions as you desire but keep your authenticity close so that the one who falls for 'you' isn't really falling for some idealized mask of you.

Then it's simply a matter of proceeding to live the person you aspire to be and you'll attract whom you attract and will deserve exactly the slave you acquire.

Good luck.






Superb advice right there.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 1:45:23 PM   
AVegasMaster


Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline 		Well said, wilderness. Being a Master is like anything else in life- inclination, determination, study, practice, growth.


(in reply to wildernessbitch)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 1:56:43 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

1. You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.


The only way someone becomes "Master" in my eyes is to become my owner.

Anything less than that and you're just a complete stranger.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 2:52:33 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I now call myself Queen of the Universe.

I expect my coffee at 6am.



Sorry I'm late, Your Highness.



When can I expect my flogging?

_____________________________

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 3:15:48 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I now call myself Queen of the Universe.

I expect my coffee at 6am.





Oh wait...by bringing you coffee, that means I'm not a true master or dom now, damn, damn, damn.

Oh, side note to the op, read BitaTruble's post to you, it was actually full of more information than anyone else has given you. Study it, apply it, the best three paragraphs you will ever read.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 3:23:08 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Oh cripes, I've even been know to bring biscuits and make sammiches....

Silky Soft Service Top Hib

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 3:32:29 PM   
wildernessbitch


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

That's very true. But how would it seem to you if someone walked onto a job site SAYING they had a skill set and they didn't. Would you feel pleased and accepting because 'anyone can call themselves anything'? Remember that guy who scammed his way into several professions?

There is no BDSM school of accreditation, and there are plenty of leatherfolk that I wouldn't trust with a burnt out match. When some newb prances out and says ME MASTER WANT SLAVE and asks for fucking HINTS? That person should be bitchslapped. Because while what we do is for life enhancement, and fun, it's also srs bsns.

That I don't bother swimming against the tide and protesting shows ennui, not tolerance. I've always felt that if you can't swim in the deep waters you don't belong in this life. Let them pound their chests. I will be here to help the ones who stick around.


Fair dues, you would not want a doctor working on you that had no medical licence and I get that. That being said, if there were a bunch of people pretending to be doctors, I would hope that I would investigate deeper to find out if I wanted him as my practitioner. Perhaps once long ago the term master meant exclusively that they were skilled in the lifestyle. That is no longer true.
As for smacking the guy upside the head... he is inexperienced and decided he wants to do this. A lot of the literature that is out there that sill bring a person here is centered around the Master/slave ideal and usual very sexual in nature. He cannot help what he has learned.
Now, I can tell you that in my personal opinion only within a relationship can the Master/slave labels be worn but not everyone agrees with that. Some will vehemently argue that they are a slave even without their Master. I disagree but I won't go around informing them that they are not a slave.
Each person needs to follow his or her own path.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 3:35:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

That's very true. But how would it seem to you if someone walked onto a job site SAYING they had a skill set and they didn't. Would you feel pleased and accepting because 'anyone can call themselves anything'? Remember that guy who scammed his way into several professions?

There is no BDSM school of accreditation, and there are plenty of leatherfolk that I wouldn't trust with a burnt out match. When some newb prances out and says ME MASTER WANT SLAVE and asks for fucking HINTS? That person should be bitchslapped. Because while what we do is for life enhancement, and fun, it's also srs bsns.

That I don't bother swimming against the tide and protesting shows ennui, not tolerance. I've always felt that if you can't swim in the deep waters you don't belong in this life. Let them pound their chests. I will be here to help the ones who stick around.


Fair dues, you would not want a doctor working on you that had no medical licence and I get that. That being said, if there were a bunch of people pretending to be doctors, I would hope that I would investigate deeper to find out if I wanted him as my practitioner. Perhaps once long ago the term master meant exclusively that they were skilled in the lifestyle. That is no longer true.
As for smacking the guy upside the head... he is inexperienced and decided he wants to do this. A lot of the literature that is out there that sill bring a person here is centered around the Master/slave ideal and usual very sexual in nature. He cannot help what he has learned.
Now, I can tell you that in my personal opinion only within a relationship can the Master/slave labels be worn but not everyone agrees with that. Some will vehemently argue that they are a slave even without their Master. I disagree but I won't go around informing them that they are not a slave.
Each person needs to follow his or her own path.


Really? Exactly when did the definition change? What is the new definition? Would you propose "doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground" or perhaps something else?



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to wildernessbitch)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 3:42:17 PM   
wildernessbitch


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline 		lol something like that. I'm not sure if anybody here looks at the other side or not or even goes out into some communities. People are calling themselves Master all over the place and some other people call them that as well. To think that everyone called or calling themselves a master really has mastered much is silly imo.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 4:23:55 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		This is how all the definitions are in my mind,
Im new to online bdsm discussions, so I might
be a bit off.

In order of the level of control in a relationship:

(MASTER - SLAVE) (MISTRESS - SLAVE) M/s
The male and female term for owner of a slave?

(DOM - SUB) (DOMME - SUB) D/s
The male and female term for dominant
Partner in a dominant/submissive relationship?

(TOP -BOTTOM)
I don't really know... Im guessing it's less
Demanding than a D/s relationship?

Nothing to do with the OP heh.
OP Theres a few good pieces of advice here, the
first thing you need to do is learn to weed the good
from the annoying.

-ARIES

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to wildernessbitch)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 4:57:34 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I now call myself Queen of the Universe.

I expect my coffee at 6am.




_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Help - 7/4/2012 5:22:02 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
You are not a Master. A Master is someone who has considerable experience and recognition in the community.

I always thought so. And I feel the same about the term Mistress. I think a person has to be really full of himself/herself to use either term.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
I have no problem with outside involvement being part of the definition of a BDSM master, especially where a technical skill is involved. I do have a problem with people proclaiming "I am a master" when, in fact, they have mastered NOTHING.

This. ^^^^

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch
A woman can come here and call themselves a brand new Mistress and everyone welcomes her.

I'm going to disagree with you on that one. There are lots of threads with "Good luck with that errrrrrr 'princess'" or someting very similar somewhere multiple times in them.

I agree with Hillwilliam on that. Those ladies are NOT always taken seriously at all.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
For ME, it is not a sacred title, it's an EARNED title.

This. ^^^^
quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch
Perhaps once long ago the term master meant exclusively that they were skilled in the lifestyle. That is no longer true.

Long ago? So tell me, when did that change? To be a Master of something still means the person has mastered it. So you think a person who is an absolute idiot about a subject should still be called a Master of it? Then the title is totally useless anyway and means absolutely nada.
quote:

ORIGINAL: wildernessbitch
A lot of the literature that is out there that still bring a person here is centered around the Master/slave ideal and usual very sexual in nature. He cannot help what he has learned.

So does he believe everything he hears/reads? Do you? If so, you - and he - are unbelievably gullible and naive.

NBMG


_____________________________

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(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 60
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