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what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and a... - 7/17/2012 3:00:24 PM   
deeplove


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ...

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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:04:55 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I think a submissive is someone who identifies as a submissive and a slave is someone who identifies as a slave. Anything beyond that is up to the individuals in that relationship.

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(in reply to deeplove)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:05:35 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		What are YOUR definitions?

Also, it matters less how random people define sub v slave but how you and your partner define it.

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(in reply to deeplove)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:06:27 PM   
wildernessbitch


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline 		To me, the difference between submissive and slave is a mindset.
How bout you?

(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:12:30 PM   
PrincessJessieJ


Posts: 159
Joined: 7/3/2012
Status: offline 		For me, it's this..

IMO, there's a difference in how each serves, and how each comes to the table to begin with. To me, at least, a sub is someone who wishes to serve and be dominated- but is also not desperate to do so. For the record, I don't consider those still in the throes of sub frenzy to quite be 'full' submissives yet because of that desperation. Add to that, this- a submissive may be granted freedoms by his/her dom/me that a slave may not. Although.. honestly, there's plenty of different ideas of what differentiates the two- and for some people, there's little to no difference at all. Depends on the people in the relationship.


tl;dr--

What thishereboi said.

< Message edited by PrincessJessieJ -- 7/17/2012 3:14:24 PM >

(in reply to deeplove)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:18:38 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeplove

I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ...


You're assuming it's important. It is not important. It just doesn't matter.

Cali

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:22:15 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		GOD ... Not this AGAIN.

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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:23:35 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ?



I would have spelled it difference.

^^^^^ This.

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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:25:33 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		One has 5 letters, the other has 10.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/17/2012 3:26:46 PM >

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:25:52 PM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline 		What confusion?

How and why is it important?

Define it how you want and go forth in the BDSM world in a way that brings you happiness.

It's really not any more complicated than that.

(in reply to deeplove)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 3:26:56 PM   
wildernessbitch


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick


You're assuming it's important. It is not important. It just doesn't matter.

Cali


Oh so this!

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 4:37:39 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		If you're really interested then take a look at this...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3236156/mpage_3/key_slave/tm.htm#3236520

Especially the posts by barelynangel.

I don't agree with much of what she posted but, barelynangel certainly had some clear ideas about slavery vs submission.



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(in reply to deeplove)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 4:49:20 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeplove

I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ...

Do tell. Please, take a moment and set everyone straight on the matter.

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(in reply to deeplove)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 4:59:37 PM   
puppet11


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/17/2012
Status: offline 		left to interpretation. IMO - as a sub, I choose to submit; as a slave, I am given no choice

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 5:05:19 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puppet11

left to interpretation. IMO - as a sub, I choose to submit; as a slave, I am given no choice


Okay, I'll bite. Again.

Not a single one of my friends who identifies as a sub, and is in a relationship, would ever dream of choosing to submit or choosing to NOT submit to her Dom. Choosing to not submit means he is no longer her dom.

How is that different from a slave? It's not, it's all semantics.

Oh, if you're talking about the initial start of the relationship, I say that is bullocks as well, or else there would be no unowned slaves, but simply Masters walking up to them and saying "mine now, you have no choice".

Cali






_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to puppet11)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 5:11:38 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		OMG, I wondered when another sub vs slave thread would show up. There are about 50 gazillion of those out there already, so use the Search function for crying out loud!!

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to puppet11)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 5:17:07 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick


quote:

ORIGINAL: puppet11

left to interpretation. IMO - as a sub, I choose to submit; as a slave, I am given no choice


Okay, I'll bite. Again.

Not a single one of my friends who identifies as a sub, and is in a relationship, would ever dream of choosing to submit or choosing to NOT submit to her Dom. Choosing to not submit means he is no longer her dom.

How is that different from a slave? It's not, it's all semantics.


Exactly. I'm a submissive. I've committed to be submissive to him. I don't consent every freaking time. I consented once, for ever.......which is exactly what you say a slave does.


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 5:43:34 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeplove
I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ...

No. Nobody is "confused" because there is no right answer. What is true is that there are a lot of folks who have a lot of differing viewpoints.

Mine personally? I look for two things when I think of "master" and "slave".

A) A sense of ownership
And by that I do not mean "we're kinky dating". I mean "property".

B) A TPE relationship
And by that I do not mean "well.. sort of kind of total except, of course, for all the obvious things which nobody would consider as reasonable yada yada." What I mean is "total". Job, health, children, food, drugs, friends, sexual partners, etc.... all a part of "total".

Both (a) and (b) above are not easily quantifiable... more in the "I know it when I see it" sort of category. But how does that help you and or all the confused people out there? I don't actually think my own personal definition has any meaning whatsoever outside of my own relationship. Nor do I care one bit about your definition. What I know is what it takes for me to feel a sense of "owning" Carol and at the point she is "owned human property" then the word we use for that is "slave".


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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to deeplove)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 5:46:35 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: deeplove
I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ...

No. Nobody is "confused" because there is no right answer. What is true is that there are a lot of folks who have a lot of differing viewpoints.

Mine personally? I look for two things when I think of "master" and "slave".

A) A sense of ownership
And by that I do not mean "we're kinky dating". I mean "property".

B) A TPE relationship
And by that I do not mean "well.. sort of kind of total except, of course, for all the obvious things which nobody would consider as reasonable yada yada." What I mean is "total". Job, health, children, food, drugs, friends, sexual partners, etc.... all a part of "total".

Both (a) and (b) above are not easily quantifiable... more in the "I know it when I see it" sort of category. But how does that help you and or all the confused people out there? I don't actually think my own personal definition has any meaning whatsoever outside of my own relationship. Nor do I care one bit about your definition. What I know is what it takes for me to feel a sense of "owning" Carol and at the point she is "owned human property" then the word we use for that is "slave".



And here's the thing: You and Carol have been together for 18 years, so clearly your definition works for you.

I always find it funny when someone not in a relationship decides to tell people in successful relationships that they're doing it wrong.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive a... - 7/17/2012 5:58:54 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
And here's the thing: You and Carol have been together for 18 years, so clearly your definition works for you.

*chuckles* Or, it is today anyway -- some days not so much.

I always find it funny when someone not in a relationship decides to tell people in successful relationships that they're doing it wrong.
Well yeah *laughs*. That and the other thing I love is some guy telling me he's got 20 years of experience being a master only to find out that translates into a relationship ever 6 months so 40 slaves. Sometimes they'll even trot out that as a sales metric too... Dude! I've had 40 slaves over 20 years! I'm experienced!!! I keep it inside but I'm usually laughing and thinking, "Well yes, but I was hoping to have an M/s relationship which actually works."

That being said, this guy didn't come right out and say we're all doing it wrong. He implied it with his pious hand-wringing but I was willing to answer the question as asked.

I guess the question that just popped into my head though was this. Man, I spent quite a number of years just trying to figure out that whole "owned" thing with Carol. Who ARE all these people that want to sort it out for the rest of humanity too?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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