quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Like you, I never mention limits such as kids, animals, or death, because for me those things seem ludicrous. I mean, WHY would I choose anyone who had mentioned those interests. I do have limits, I just never say those are among them because it is beyond my reasoning to think I could be with anyone like that.
However, I can see why people might insist on including them when they naysay people who say they have no limits.

Why? In my early days of discovering this stuff I had already been doing was considered perversion AND lol I could find it on the net I had the occasion to meet quite a few people in person, or have long conversations with them over months or years. And indeed... I was approached by a "gentleman" who enjoyed seeing his women pleasure his dogs. One guy who I spoke to for a while since we shared a common interest in watercolor, disclosed he had a fantasy about being with a mom and daughter. When he asked how old my daughters were I decided our love of art was not sufficient to maintain contact with him. I met a man who insisted that his woman MUST be hairy, the hairier the better even if it mean taking hormones or what ever to increase that potential. I shared a few drinks with a woman who had the ends of two of her fingers and one toe lopped off by gardening shears by her husband because he was sadistic and she was his slave to do with what he wished. She told me he kept a machete between his mattress and boxspring to remind her that her life was in his hands. And she expressed she fully expected to die at his hands. This was expressed very matter of factly, as if she was not only resigned to it, but had decided if her life was to end she wanted him to have the satisfaction.

You state your limit is bondage, but it looks like you never mention that when people bring up limits, probably because for you it is a non issue. Your mate has been made aware and is in willing agreement with you on that matter. I state I do have limits because I am female to female phobic and it is rare to find a man who does not have that curiousity. No matter what male I choose as my mate I make sure that I state that limit up front because without that in place we could not go further.

Limits for me are discussed up front, or if you are together for a while, as they occur because someone suddenly got a wild hair to try it. I actually never knew I had a limit about having someone pick me up until my honeymoon.

I do think we all have limits but if someone states, "I have no limits" to me that means either they have never done a thing, OR that they, like me, have chosen a mate that has been carefully vetted for oddities during courtship. lol and I guess it might also mean they are like that woman I met with 3 severed digits who was willing to play out her kink till it took her life, with her mate who in my opinion was bat shit crazy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

NuevaVida.
What to say lol.
I can remember when you were in the relationship that you mention from the past, and it amazes me how far you have come from your previous thoughts.

quote:

quote:

When I see people adamant about Limits or No Limits, to the point of getting emotional or angry about it, I think they're holding tight to a belief they *have* to have, because they don't know how to process believing otherwise.

What you said here is really interesting. I have never thought of it in those terms before. To tell the truth, I would be very interested in how others react to this statement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

When I see people adamant about Limits or No Limits, to the point of getting emotional or angry about it, I think they're holding tight to a belief they *have* to have, because they don't know how to process believing otherwise.

What you said here is really interesting. I have never thought of it in those terms before. To tell the truth, I would be very interested in how others react to this statement.

quote:

I honestly don't expect anyone to post to that statement, and if anyone does, I suspect it would not be a favorable one. People tend to not like having their belief system questioned. It feels threatening, and can understandably cause feelings of defensiveness. At least that was always the reason for my past reactions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

When I see people adamant about Limits or No Limits, to the point of getting emotional or angry about it, I think they're holding tight to a belief they *have* to have, because they don't know how to process believing otherwise.

What you said here is really interesting. I have never thought of it in those terms before. To tell the truth, I would be very interested in how others react to this statement.

quote:

I honestly don't expect anyone to post to that statement, and if anyone does, I suspect it would not be a favorable one. People tend to not like having their belief system questioned. It feels threatening, and can understandably cause feelings of defensiveness. At least that was always the reason for my past reactions.

See, I would love to comment on this but it might constitute off-topic for this thread but both of those statements are very interesting to me.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83


It doesn't speak to highly of the people
on either side... that one side dosen't
know enough or isn't experienced or
smart enough to believe what the other
believes, and that the other side is so
sure of their belief, Intelligence and
experience to make the above assumptions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Which brings me back to the original question.
WHY do we walk away from prospective partners simply because they state 'I have no limits'. Why do we not, instead, take the time to discuss WHAT each of us considers to be limits and why we see them that way?

Just curious...and being way too introspective for this early in the morning

quote:

If it's a Dom saying it... I duno, do Doms
say that?

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I don't feel a need to go through a laundry list of "I won't allow him to do something with my kid or around kids. I won't allow him to kill me or cut off a limb" because they are such preposterous ideas that it just becomes a joke.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83
*I think Missokyst meant that things like
death as a limit should really be a given,
but there are wackos out there so I can
see people wanting to make sure the
wakos know to stay away*

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


But when people start talking generically about they wouldn't allow someone to chop off their limbs, I just automatically think they are being overly paranoid and they don't trust people and they automatically think the worst of everything and everyone.

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Which brings me back to the original question.
WHY do we walk away from prospective partners simply because they state 'I have no limits'. Why do we not, instead, take the time to discuss WHAT each of us considers to be limits and why we see them that way?

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist
The friends you mention...do any of them participate to the degree that you and your young lady do..or at all? Or are they just friends who happen to know what you do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladypact
When you see the word "partner" around these threads, you think life partner. Those of us who play casually or without a relationship commitment are more likely to think play partner. It's a different mindset. It also sets off more warning bells when "no limits" is the response.

quote:

When I was single I never said I was no limits but I never stated limits either. I simply said I would like to get to know the person and we would see how compatible we are and go from there. If our morals and values and such matched, it's most likely that our "limits" would match as well to the point it would be a moot point. It wouldn't even need to be discussed