Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Sadistic-Narcissism


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Sadistic-Narcissism Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 2:53:55 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

I've met some sociopaths. Occasionally in very unpleasant circumstances. Completely different animal. I'm not certain I could articulate it so someone without experience with sociopaths could recognize them, but there's no way you wouldn't recognize them if you do have experience with sociopaths. Some are good enough at hiding the traits that it takes a while to notice them (among other things because we don't go around looking for sociopaths), but I'm inclined to think they're unmistakable given some exposure to them.

IWYW,
— Aswad.


I like to think I would recognize one but its easy to get a little paranoid!
Having had past experience I carried that through my relationships, often suspecting my partner of the time to be 'just another sociopath'.
Steve (my husband) was very suspect to begin with Was his charm false? Was his ability to draw me in the way he did just cunning manipulation on his part? Was his empathy real? Was his life stories true or huge exaggerations and lies?
Steve is not a sociopath but a clever sociopath is a hard person to recognize. I would say that you have to get to know them pretty well and have a good understanding of how a sociopaths mind works to even begin to recognize what they are.
If you look up the traits of a sociopath and the traits needed to be a dominant, many of those traits are similar.
Sexually depraved, dominant in nature, feelings of grandeur and self importance, fast thinking mind that manipulates his partner and others easily, can show deep love, compassion and absolute devotion (a learnt emotion) but there has to be something in it for them.

Its worth remembering that submissives can be sociopaths too and so can females.



(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 3:10:14 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

What do you look for?
Assuming you can't see through the facade.

-Aries

* regarding picking out a good sociopath*


I don't think you should look for anything but you should, if you are savvy, be able to pick up on certain things that just don't ring true.
An example of this may be a story you are told that seems wild and ott. Look up 'Histrionic' because many sociopaths are histrionic.
A sociopath tends to brag a lot about their 'great achievements' but aren't really able to back those achievements up.
Whilst they may praise their partner and tell him/her how proud they are of them, they tend not to offer the same kindness to others and are often seen as cold and indifferent.
They often steal but if caught they will tell you how that person 'owed them'. They are not to be trusted around other peoples assets.
They often don't like animals and will show an absolute indifference to them. They are never to be trusted with your pets.
They will control their partner in very clever ways and often stop them seeing friends who have shown suspicion towards them.
They can love someone with all their heart one minute and the next minute they can walk away from them with not so much as a goodbye.

But even all of this may not mean they are a sociopath. Only a sociopath can tell you he has no conscience and because most sociopaths are not violent criminals, most go undiscovered.

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 3:29:06 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I think, and this is more of a guess that a narcissist might be attracted to the power of being a Dominant, but I think that they would be rather bad at it since even in a TPE relationship there is giving and taking and that is often a narcissist's problem, all have to be about them so I have a feeling that a sub would not stay with a narcissist Dom very long, but then that is just my guess.

quote:

I would think that by definition a narcissist is unable to have a relationship. Relationships are about two people and narcissists wouldn't cross the street to do anything for someone else. It's all about them.


Not completely right, a narcissist need to be the center of attention, if doing things for others get them that attention then they will do that, but an honest relationship can be problematic yes but it is not impossible.

I wish you all well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 3:44:20 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Narcissists are very clever at making relationships. They are often the mean guy, the one that all the girls love for some strange reason

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 6:53:07 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

http://www.cracked.com/article_19961_7-studies-that-only-proved-that-scientists-are-perverts.html?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=Science&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=yesincite

See #5.


Great article!

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 7:49:25 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		THey build relationships, but as said, always something has to be in it for them. Very clever intelligent people. THey hold back any kind of compliments or actions until they want something and skillfully will use them to get what they need or want. The partner is so thrilled they want to please them to try to recieve a reward that rarely IF EVER comes. One kind word or phrase leads the partner to beleive they might recieve more, and they strive toward pleasing to try to get more. This was my experience. These people can be very charming and its easy to be drawn to them. All of it seems ok with them, some sense of entitlement. They would never tolerate this behavior if reversed.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 9/13/2012 7:53:37 AM >

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 8:30:59 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

THey build relationships, but as said, always something has to be in it for them. You mean like everyone else in the world Very clever intelligent people. Not necessarily. There are a whole lot of morons out there who are narcissists-heck, that why there's narcissists-they're stupid enough to believe they are all that THey hold back any kind of compliments or actions until they want something and skillfully will use them to get what they need or want. Some do, some don't The partner is so thrilled they want to please them to try to recieve a reward that rarely IF EVER comes. One kind word or phrase leads the partner to beleive they might recieve more, and they strive toward pleasing to try to get more. This was my experience. Uh-huh. Keep being a victim. Let's get this real clear right now. No person can make any other person feel anything emotionally. We all have control over our own feelings, our own emotions, our own reactions. Nobody can make me feel shit. I choose to feel in a certain way. I choose to respond. I choose to get angry and I can choose not to. They can't make me feel nothing about myself I don't willingly take on. And that's on me, not them.These people can be very charming and its easy to be drawn to them. All of it seems ok with them, some sense of entitlement.Generality much? They would never tolerate this behavior if reversed.So in other words the narcissistic is healthier than you. Niiiiice

PS-I before E except after C...unless sounding like A as in neighbor or way

< Message edited by Kana -- 9/13/2012 8:32:19 AM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 1:31:00 PM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Have to disagree Kana, people do feel things, and people can cause you to feel them, the way you react well, thats a different story. People are not robots. You are a victim until you wake up and find you are with a person like this. After waking up if you stay your not a victim but a fool. Put your trust in the wrong person before you know better, yes you are a victim. Put up with it your a fool, unless of course you are into that sort of thing, then ok. As far as tolerating the behaviour and them being healthier because they wouldnt put up with it, I think a healthy person wouldnt treat someone in that way in the first place. THese people can be very hard to identify, the smart ones that is.

spelling lesson noted.



< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 9/13/2012 1:33:04 PM >

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 1:58:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		No, they're really not that difficult to spot at all. I can pretty much just watch a person for a few hours to be able to diagnose their mentality. My daughter is a narcissist. She seems to have a great relationship with her guy of 3 years now. Their relationship seems pretty strong to me despite her narcissism. He likes treating her like a princess. I never felt like a victim being around her. I just felt like a pissed off mom.

And imo if you are finding the same type of guy over and over again, then it's not the men. It's YOU.

And more more thing. I control my emotions so I am never seen as a victim. I've always been like that. I grew up to do this to the point now where I just shrug my shoulders and move on with my life.

If you see yourself as a victim then nothing anyone says to you will help you to fix that issue. Personally, I have no interest whatsoever in playing the victim and putting my woe is me onto someone else to deal with it. That's not fair to him and it's not fair to me because the best counseling is yourself.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 8:53:32 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve
...violence is not typically a symptom of narcissism, it's more likely to manifest as mental cruelty of various sorts, violence is more often associated with psychopathy.

Hare is a more reliable source for this stuff, and while narcissism may well be a factor in psychopathy and sexual psychopathy, mass murderer, sexual, and serial murder is psychopathy, not just narcissism.


My impression is the personality disorder stuff often comes in clusters. In other words, people often have more than one.

Pam


True, but for strictly taxonomic reasons, they are utterly different diagnosis: a malignant Narcissist might fuck your whole world up, but when they kill they usually do it at a distance.

Don't want to get their hand dirty you know.

Out, damn spot!

_____________________________

Walking nightmare...

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/13/2012 11:06:41 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Have to disagree Kana, people do feel things, and people can cause you to feel them, the way you react well, thats a different story. People are not robots. You are a victim until you wake up and find you are with a person like this. After waking up if you stay your not a victim but a fool. Put your trust in the wrong person before you know better, yes you are a victim. Put up with it your a fool, unless of course you are into that sort of thing, then ok. As far as tolerating the behaviour and them being healthier because they wouldnt put up with it, I think a healthy person wouldnt treat someone in that way in the first place. THese people can be very hard to identify, the smart ones that is.

spelling lesson noted.



Yeah. Sorry, but I totally disagree. Part of being an adult, part of being a mature person is that we run our emotions, they don't run us.
I can try and abstain from my responsibility in this area, but it doesn't make it any less true. I am responsible for how I feel. No one else.

Now emotions come and go, but no one can make me feel or react that way unless I choose to.
Example. Some cock cuts me off on the road. If I'm in a good spot, I tend to think something kind, "Maybe they have an emergency, maybe something awful just happened to them and they're distracted," I dunno, 100,000,000 things.
Or I can get pissed (And I get pissed cause I'm scared. Anger is a secondary emotion that comes from pain or fear).
But somewhere inside I make a conscious decision that I'm gonna get pissed about this and react accordingly. Then I give em the finger, honk the horn, flash my lights, drive up to em and tell em a few things about themselves that they may need to know.But that's on me.That's my choice, my call.

When I say someone can make me feel in any certain way, I'm giving that person control over me, letting them live rent free in my head.
Or I can own my emotions, make a choice that I'm not gonna let that happen and act so.
Heck, there are entire fields of religions dedicated to this sort of stuff (See Zen, Buddhism). Philosophers have discussed this stuff for ages.
It ain't complex stuff. It's about self discipline, personal responsibility and being accountable to self for the condition of my internal landscape.
In other words, it's about being a grown up.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 1:39:38 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
Isn't giving a person 'control over you' something submissives do all the time?

We should be very careful about judging those who stick around with abusive people. Its not about being 'grown up' or 'foolish'
I take direct offense at that. Do some of you guys also believe that rape victim ask for it?




(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 1:48:19 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Have to disagree Kana, people do feel things, and people can cause you to feel them, the way you react well, thats a different story. People are not robots. You are a victim until you wake up and find you are with a person like this. After waking up if you stay your not a victim but a fool. Put your trust in the wrong person before you know better, yes you are a victim. Put up with it your a fool, unless of course you are into that sort of thing, then ok. As far as tolerating the behaviour and them being healthier because they wouldnt put up with it, I think a healthy person wouldnt treat someone in that way in the first place. THese people can be very hard to identify, the smart ones that is.

spelling lesson noted.




Absolutely and completely disagree with the bolded part above.

People who don't take personal responsibility for themselves will frequently brand themselves a "victim". And that's the crux of it all - taking personal responsibility. Too many people seem to think someone else is responsible, but if they are honest with themselves they would realize that isn't the case.

As to the OP, my guess is yes, but I'm not a psychologist/psychiatrist or a formal student of such things. I would think it would, obviously, depend on his/her ability to interact socially.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 2:24:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		God, give Me strength.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 3:25:18 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Deleted because sharing personal shit with a bunch of strangers is fool hardy!

< Message edited by MariaB -- 9/14/2012 3:34:37 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 5:21:03 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		The rape vicitm is a good example. She goes on a date, she dresses a lil sexy but doesnt want sex, just wants to appeal. Guy doesnt know the word No and rapes her. She FEELS violated, dirty, angry, sad, but that is on her? Its her fault she feels like this? This is a natural human response, and in time hopefully she would realize it wasnt her fault and she shouldnt blame herself. She isnt a grownup because she feels this way?

I guess she should chose to be happy and say Oh well he didnt know any better.

PLZ lol.


(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 6:04:34 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

You are a victim until you wake up and find you are with a person like this. After waking up if you stay your not a victim but a fool. Put your trust in the wrong person before you know better, yes you are a victim. Put up with it your a fool, unless of course you are into that sort of thing, then ok. As far as tolerating the behaviour and them being healthier because they wouldnt put up with it, I think a healthy person wouldnt treat someone in that way in the first place. THese people can be very hard to identify, the smart ones that is.


I have a predilection for narcissists and have in the past chosen to ignore the warning signs because the honeymoon period can be delightful. Now I spot them and disengage much quicker. I take complete responsibility for my choices in men.

I have a friend who let someone move in with him. She needed to get out of her old place that day. In fact, they were paying her $3,000 to get out immediately. Surprise, surprise, she ended up stiffing my friend for months of rent too. She'd already demonstrated she was a bad tenant and he chose to ignore it.

Warning signs are generally there; when people chose to ignore them, they are not victims but foolish.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 6:09:25 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

You are a victim until you wake up and find you are with a person like this. After waking up if you stay your not a victim but a fool. Put your trust in the wrong person before you know better, yes you are a victim. Put up with it your a fool, unless of course you are into that sort of thing, then ok. As far as tolerating the behaviour and them being healthier because they wouldnt put up with it, I think a healthy person wouldnt treat someone in that way in the first place. THese people can be very hard to identify, the smart ones that is.


I have a predilection for narcissists and have in the past chosen to ignore the warning signs because the honeymoon period can be delightful. Now I spot them and disengage much quicker. I take complete responsibility for my choices in men.

I have a friend who let someone move in with him. She needed to get out of her old place that day. In fact, they were paying her $3,000 to get out immediately. Surprise, surprise, she ended up stiffing my friend for months of rent too. She'd already demonstrated she was a bad tenant and he chose to ignore it.

Warning signs are generally there; when people chose to ignore them, they are not victims but foolish.


Hey I do agree, sometimes even once you know, its hard to walk away during that honey moon period. I take responsiblity for my actions but he was so damn CUTE!!! lol, it was a one time deal with a narcissist, I had zero experience with one.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 6:25:26 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		This does not just come into their lives as adults it start at chilldhood!

It starts as early as four years old! It is sometimes abusethat may start this change, but it is also something they are
just born with, one child wanted to just murder another, just because he could!

There was not reason why, he would try to stab her with sharpen pencils, anything that
could cause great bodily harm, he push her from a 10 foot playground equipment!

I was there to catch her! When she did not come to school he was calm, but he still seek her out!
He wanted to know where she was! He would mention how he would murder her!

He was so cute and so sweet when she was not around, he did not display this behavior to any of the other
children!

It was nothing she did, he stalk her and we had to watch him all of the time we fear for her life!

Now how do I see through someone with this behavior my twin and I have one hell of a sixth sense!

I can look into someone eyes passing me in the street and oh yes, it makes my hair stand on end!

I must go but this is one very great piece ARIES83!!!!!

mons ( i will return to write more tomorrow which I know will be filled up )

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Sadistic-Narcissism - 9/14/2012 6:46:34 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Hey I do agree, sometimes even once you know, its hard to walk away during that honey moon period. I take responsiblity for my actions but he was so damn CUTE!!! lol, it was a one time deal with a narcissist, I had zero experience with one.


And you know, sometimes you can't walk away. For some people there lives and that of their family could be in such danger that walking away would be more dangerous than staying.
My best friend and her child was rescued through very careful planning. She had a whole team of us protecting her and secretly getting her life in order because from where she was standing, she couldn't possibly do that.
Her narcissistic partner (and I can tell you, he was bloody frightening) went on to murder a future girlfriend when his paranoid mind thought she was crossing him. He is now doing life.

Clever sociopaths are much, much harder to spot, often less violent or not violent at all and often clever and cunning. People can live and love a sociopath in total oblivion until one day they come home from work to find he/she has upped and left with all the valuables and emptied the bank account.
People like to think they are savvy and they would spot such a person a mile off. Don't kid yourself, sociopaths are very difficult to spot.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Sadistic-Narcissism Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109