RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/15/2013 6:16:11 PM)

Maybe he saw that picture of ribs and homemade beer you posted. You could be considered something of a tease for that...




Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/24/2013 1:09:12 PM)

Got a message from a guy telling me how sexy he finds the pictures in my profile.
My pictures are of roses [:D]




orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/29/2013 4:52:12 AM)

I keep getting a message from what appears to be a large, military type person in the US, offering me $400 per hour on webcam. I suppose I should be flattered because he's messaged me a few times, and he was only offering $80 an hour at first.

Because I'm fat and I have a picture of my tits out at the moment, I keep getting messages about being a 'hucow' and 'milking my udders'.

Here are a few other completely crazy messages I've received on CM:

quote:

This dirty whore is to be owned by my Dog Dobie.

He is a gorgeous Great Dane with a wonderfully long thick cock for this slut to lick and suck and eventually be knotted by.

This slut will learn how to serve the dog and live and understand his needs, the slut will be humiliated and degraded in front of all visitors and other dogs, it will learn to live with, and be like the Dog, it will become this whore's only desire to serve in this world not humans.

Shocked, outraged, intrigued, curious, contact me to learn more, see more, and to become an enlightened dog whore slut.


Oh my gosh, who in the world wouldn't want to be an enlightened dog whore slut?!! This one actually came with photos of his dog fucking another woman. Yanno, I didn't mind the dog thing, but another woman??!! Us dog whore sluts have feelings you know...


quote:

First, your clit will be removed...then you will infibulated. First week after the surgery, prisoned in a caged, strictly tied, catheter in urethra... Liquid food via nasogastric tube and no removing escrements... Your sex drive will be inhibited almost completely, will be left only a part of mind that you will want to masturbate, but without success. Dream or nightmare...english girl?


Oooh, let me think...... difficult one.....decisions, decisions...


quote:

I'm interested in the ring between your arse cheeks! I would like to fist it, fill it with my pee, beat it, lick it, brand it, give it enemas and then there would be the rest of you to start on that I'm sure would give me great pleasure as a slave should. You wuld also be required to attend to all my needs like sucking my cock and balls, ringing my arsehole,drinking my pee and submittng to whippings and canning whenever I thought necessary and kept in a cage when needed If you want to submit your body and soul to my comlete ownership and become my utter servant and masochistic slave to be used as I wish, come and live in my home down in Cornwall. Don't take too much notice of my profile. I write it like that so I don't frighten off the squeemish subs!. I am basically a sadist looking for a masochist.

PS. Found this on the intenet and just about explains my phillosophy!

everyday i think about you slave, i think about you naked and collared at my feet when not in use. i imagine my dungeon dark with minimal light, a chain to the wall, a cross and suspension equipment. cages and a hole in the ground. maybe more than one dungeon, maybe more than one slave. you could have a sister or more than one slave sister. you will be kept hidden away and separated from real life. you are trained to take cock, in your pussy, deep in your throat and ass, every hole is to be fucked. maybe by one cock, maybe by two. gangbanged and shared like a total slut. never allowed to cum without permission, never allowed to wear any panties and your diet controlled and filled with endless amounts of cum. there will be daily spankings and Master is to be worshipped and loved even if he has sadistically tortured you for his pleasure. you will be known only as slave, no other name needed. you will only speak when given permission. you will cook and clean, if Master thinks you have not done a good job. training and discipline will ensue. your whole entire existence is to serve Master and males in general. all women should be total slave sluts and nothing in this world should change that. you have no rights. you have no say. you are a whore, a fuck slut a worthless little fuck toy. rules will be followed and adhered to, you will never be free and for the rest of your life you live as a sex slave. so how about you be a good girl and drop to your knees…


You know, I like that he did his research, and found a philosophy on the internet that he could really get behind. You're never truly alone as an internet wanky man.


quote:

do you find the Idea of relocating to be with a older experienced Dom interesting or simppluy traivelling to me to spend a week end or week if so get bac to me and ask nice. to get you interested look at my devices and see yourself cuffed to my flogging bench there being caned flogger paddled spanked all of or some of the above while your tits swing either sideclovered up with lead weights hung from them so as you swing and move fro the strikes your nilpes suffer and they will suffer as first they will have being suctioned for an hour to engorge them and make them almst twice their normal size and a lot more sensitive of course whiel your suction was happening the front of you your thighs and tits would be totmented with the light switch canes that have no force but give a lot of little stings and your pussy lips enjoy the taste of nettles being stroked over them lol on top of all of this I would use all your holes adding to the bouncing and the pull on your nipples. thats just one session you would be taken out around town with spicy lub on your clit and a viby inserted in both holes taped in place and made to walk around so you dribbled dwn your thighs so up to you there are a lot of other things but its just to get you interested first


Full stops! Full stops! For the love of God, learn to use a full stop!!




punisher440 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/29/2013 7:02:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

do you find the Idea of relocating to be with a older experienced Dom interesting or simppluy traivelling to me to spend a week end or week if so get bac to me and ask nice. to get you interested look at my devices and see yourself cuffed to my flogging bench there being caned flogger paddled spanked all of or some of the above while your tits swing either sideclovered up with lead weights hung from them so as you swing and move fro the strikes your nilpes suffer and they will suffer as first they will have being suctioned for an hour to engorge them and make them almst twice their normal size and a lot more sensitive of course whiel your suction was happening the front of you your thighs and tits would be totmented with the light switch canes that have no force but give a lot of little stings and your pussy lips enjoy the taste of nettles being stroked over them lol on top of all of this I would use all your holes adding to the bouncing and the pull on your nipples. thats just one session you would be taken out around town with spicy lub on your clit and a viby inserted in both holes taped in place and made to walk around so you dribbled dwn your thighs so up to you there are a lot of other things but its just to get you interested first


Full stops! Full stops! For the love of God, learn to use a full stop!!

My eyes! They're burning from this wall of text! But in his defense, have you ever tried typing with one hand?...[;)]




orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/29/2013 9:00:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: punisher440


quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

do you find the Idea of relocating to be with a older experienced Dom interesting or simppluy traivelling to me to spend a week end or week if so get bac to me and ask nice. to get you interested look at my devices and see yourself cuffed to my flogging bench there being caned flogger paddled spanked all of or some of the above while your tits swing either sideclovered up with lead weights hung from them so as you swing and move fro the strikes your nilpes suffer and they will suffer as first they will have being suctioned for an hour to engorge them and make them almst twice their normal size and a lot more sensitive of course whiel your suction was happening the front of you your thighs and tits would be totmented with the light switch canes that have no force but give a lot of little stings and your pussy lips enjoy the taste of nettles being stroked over them lol on top of all of this I would use all your holes adding to the bouncing and the pull on your nipples. thats just one session you would be taken out around town with spicy lub on your clit and a viby inserted in both holes taped in place and made to walk around so you dribbled dwn your thighs so up to you there are a lot of other things but its just to get you interested first


Full stops! Full stops! For the love of God, learn to use a full stop!!

My eyes! They're burning from this wall of text! But in his defense, have you ever tried typing with one hand?...[;)]


Perhaps he was busy preparing his instruments to torture my poor nilpels ;-)




OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2013 7:31:16 PM)

So, this guy asked if I was "an owned woman". I replied that I was happily married to my Master.

His response was: "Well, if things change, keep me in mind".

Yeah, cause I'm positive that if my 14 year relationship goes under the first thing I'll think of is that random guy on the internet........




DomMeinCT -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2013 7:32:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, this guy asked if I was "an owned woman". I replied that I was happily married to my Master.

His response was: "Well, if things change, keep me in mind".

Yeah, cause I'm positive that if my 14 year relationship goes under the first thing I'll think of is that random guy on the internet........


I bet he checks back with you in a few weeks to see. lol




MistressDarkArt -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2013 8:12:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I keep getting a message from what appears to be a large, military type person in the US, offering me $400 per hour on webcam. I suppose I should be flattered because he's messaged me a few times, and he was only offering $80 an hour at first.

Because I'm fat and I have a picture of my tits out at the moment, I keep getting messages about being a 'hucow' and 'milking my udders'.

Here are a few other completely crazy messages I've received on CM:

quote:

This dirty whore is to be owned by my Dog Dobie.

He is a gorgeous Great Dane with a wonderfully long thick cock for this slut to lick and suck and eventually be knotted by.

This slut will learn how to serve the dog and live and understand his needs, the slut will be humiliated and degraded in front of all visitors and other dogs, it will learn to live with, and be like the Dog, it will become this whore's only desire to serve in this world not humans.

Shocked, outraged, intrigued, curious, contact me to learn more, see more, and to become an enlightened dog whore slut.


Oh my gosh, who in the world wouldn't want to be an enlightened dog whore slut?!! This one actually came with photos of his dog fucking another woman. Yanno, I didn't mind the dog thing, but another woman??!! Us dog whore sluts have feelings you know...


quote:

First, your clit will be removed...then you will infibulated. First week after the surgery, prisoned in a caged, strictly tied, catheter in urethra... Liquid food via nasogastric tube and no removing escrements... Your sex drive will be inhibited almost completely, will be left only a part of mind that you will want to masturbate, but without success. Dream or nightmare...english girl?


Oooh, let me think...... difficult one.....decisions, decisions...


quote:

I'm interested in the ring between your arse cheeks! I would like to fist it, fill it with my pee, beat it, lick it, brand it, give it enemas and then there would be the rest of you to start on that I'm sure would give me great pleasure as a slave should. You wuld also be required to attend to all my needs like sucking my cock and balls, ringing my arsehole,drinking my pee and submittng to whippings and canning whenever I thought necessary and kept in a cage when needed If you want to submit your body and soul to my comlete ownership and become my utter servant and masochistic slave to be used as I wish, come and live in my home down in Cornwall. Don't take too much notice of my profile. I write it like that so I don't frighten off the squeemish subs!. I am basically a sadist looking for a masochist.

PS. Found this on the intenet and just about explains my phillosophy!

everyday i think about you slave, i think about you naked and collared at my feet when not in use. i imagine my dungeon dark with minimal light, a chain to the wall, a cross and suspension equipment. cages and a hole in the ground. maybe more than one dungeon, maybe more than one slave. you could have a sister or more than one slave sister. you will be kept hidden away and separated from real life. you are trained to take cock, in your pussy, deep in your throat and ass, every hole is to be fucked. maybe by one cock, maybe by two. gangbanged and shared like a total slut. never allowed to cum without permission, never allowed to wear any panties and your diet controlled and filled with endless amounts of cum. there will be daily spankings and Master is to be worshipped and loved even if he has sadistically tortured you for his pleasure. you will be known only as slave, no other name needed. you will only speak when given permission. you will cook and clean, if Master thinks you have not done a good job. training and discipline will ensue. your whole entire existence is to serve Master and males in general. all women should be total slave sluts and nothing in this world should change that. you have no rights. you have no say. you are a whore, a fuck slut a worthless little fuck toy. rules will be followed and adhered to, you will never be free and for the rest of your life you live as a sex slave. so how about you be a good girl and drop to your knees…


You know, I like that he did his research, and found a philosophy on the internet that he could really get behind. You're never truly alone as an internet wanky man.


quote:

do you find the Idea of relocating to be with a older experienced Dom interesting or simppluy traivelling to me to spend a week end or week if so get bac to me and ask nice. to get you interested look at my devices and see yourself cuffed to my flogging bench there being caned flogger paddled spanked all of or some of the above while your tits swing either sideclovered up with lead weights hung from them so as you swing and move fro the strikes your nilpes suffer and they will suffer as first they will have being suctioned for an hour to engorge them and make them almst twice their normal size and a lot more sensitive of course whiel your suction was happening the front of you your thighs and tits would be totmented with the light switch canes that have no force but give a lot of little stings and your pussy lips enjoy the taste of nettles being stroked over them lol on top of all of this I would use all your holes adding to the bouncing and the pull on your nipples. thats just one session you would be taken out around town with spicy lub on your clit and a viby inserted in both holes taped in place and made to walk around so you dribbled dwn your thighs so up to you there are a lot of other things but its just to get you interested first


Full stops! Full stops! For the love of God, learn to use a full stop!!


OD, you hands-down get the prize for the goofiest messages, nilpels and all! As for FULL STOP when confronted with text walls, I like to borrow DarkSteven's adage: Are you pregnant? Because it sure look like you missed a bunch of periods!

On a serious note, I hope you will report the dog guy's profile and pictures. Both are TOS violations.




crazyml -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2013 9:01:53 PM)

Yes, but they are mighty purdy roses!




Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2013 9:37:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Yes, but they are mighty purdy roses!

Sure they are, to flower pervs [:D]. And you should see the stems...




orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2013 2:56:17 AM)

quote:

I hope you will report the dog guy's profile and pictures.


Did it straight away. Nobody needs to see that!




jlf1961 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2013 5:26:28 AM)

Im straight, my profile says I am straight so....

From a trans:

You ever consider having a male sex slave?




jola37 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2013 5:36:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

"I'm interested in the ring between your arse cheeks"


You have had some unbelivable messages orgasmdenial12, this one made me spit my tea all over my monitor




MasterCaneman -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2013 6:26:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I keep getting a message from what appears to be a large, military type person in the US, offering me $400 per hour on webcam. I suppose I should be flattered because he's messaged me a few times, and he was only offering $80 an hour at first.

Because I'm fat and I have a picture of my tits out at the moment, I keep getting messages about being a 'hucow' and 'milking my udders'.

Here are a few other completely crazy messages I've received on CM:

quote:

This dirty whore is to be owned by my Dog Dobie.

He is a gorgeous Great Dane with a wonderfully long thick cock for this slut to lick and suck and eventually be knotted by.

This slut will learn how to serve the dog and live and understand his needs, the slut will be humiliated and degraded in front of all visitors and other dogs, it will learn to live with, and be like the Dog, it will become this whore's only desire to serve in this world not humans.

Shocked, outraged, intrigued, curious, contact me to learn more, see more, and to become an enlightened dog whore slut.


Oh my gosh, who in the world wouldn't want to be an enlightened dog whore slut?!! This one actually came with photos of his dog fucking another woman. Yanno, I didn't mind the dog thing, but another woman??!! Us dog whore sluts have feelings you know...


quote:

First, your clit will be removed...then you will infibulated. First week after the surgery, prisoned in a caged, strictly tied, catheter in urethra... Liquid food via nasogastric tube and no removing escrements... Your sex drive will be inhibited almost completely, will be left only a part of mind that you will want to masturbate, but without success. Dream or nightmare...english girl?


Oooh, let me think...... difficult one.....decisions, decisions...


quote:

I'm interested in the ring between your arse cheeks! I would like to fist it, fill it with my pee, beat it, lick it, brand it, give it enemas and then there would be the rest of you to start on that I'm sure would give me great pleasure as a slave should. You wuld also be required to attend to all my needs like sucking my cock and balls, ringing my arsehole,drinking my pee and submittng to whippings and canning whenever I thought necessary and kept in a cage when needed If you want to submit your body and soul to my comlete ownership and become my utter servant and masochistic slave to be used as I wish, come and live in my home down in Cornwall. Don't take too much notice of my profile. I write it like that so I don't frighten off the squeemish subs!. I am basically a sadist looking for a masochist.

PS. Found this on the intenet and just about explains my phillosophy!

everyday i think about you slave, i think about you naked and collared at my feet when not in use. i imagine my dungeon dark with minimal light, a chain to the wall, a cross and suspension equipment. cages and a hole in the ground. maybe more than one dungeon, maybe more than one slave. you could have a sister or more than one slave sister. you will be kept hidden away and separated from real life. you are trained to take cock, in your pussy, deep in your throat and ass, every hole is to be fucked. maybe by one cock, maybe by two. gangbanged and shared like a total slut. never allowed to cum without permission, never allowed to wear any panties and your diet controlled and filled with endless amounts of cum. there will be daily spankings and Master is to be worshipped and loved even if he has sadistically tortured you for his pleasure. you will be known only as slave, no other name needed. you will only speak when given permission. you will cook and clean, if Master thinks you have not done a good job. training and discipline will ensue. your whole entire existence is to serve Master and males in general. all women should be total slave sluts and nothing in this world should change that. you have no rights. you have no say. you are a whore, a fuck slut a worthless little fuck toy. rules will be followed and adhered to, you will never be free and for the rest of your life you live as a sex slave. so how about you be a good girl and drop to your knees…


You know, I like that he did his research, and found a philosophy on the internet that he could really get behind. You're never truly alone as an internet wanky man.


quote:

do you find the Idea of relocating to be with a older experienced Dom interesting or simppluy traivelling to me to spend a week end or week if so get bac to me and ask nice. to get you interested look at my devices and see yourself cuffed to my flogging bench there being caned flogger paddled spanked all of or some of the above while your tits swing either sideclovered up with lead weights hung from them so as you swing and move fro the strikes your nilpes suffer and they will suffer as first they will have being suctioned for an hour to engorge them and make them almst twice their normal size and a lot more sensitive of course whiel your suction was happening the front of you your thighs and tits would be totmented with the light switch canes that have no force but give a lot of little stings and your pussy lips enjoy the taste of nettles being stroked over them lol on top of all of this I would use all your holes adding to the bouncing and the pull on your nipples. thats just one session you would be taken out around town with spicy lub on your clit and a viby inserted in both holes taped in place and made to walk around so you dribbled dwn your thighs so up to you there are a lot of other things but its just to get you interested first


Full stops! Full stops! For the love of God, learn to use a full stop!!


OD, you hands-down get the prize for the goofiest messages, nilpels and all! As for FULL STOP when confronted with text walls, I like to borrow DarkSteven's adage: Are you pregnant? Because it sure look like you missed a bunch of periods!

On a serious note, I hope you will report the dog guy's profile and pictures. Both are TOS violations.

I've done some voice acting in the past, and periods are where you breathe. I tried reading that one aloud, and it's barely possible to get through. I used to get crap like that when I tutored in college, and I'd have the student do that. When they finally made the connection, their writing style improved dramatically (as in just able to pass versus failing dismally for the most part). But I will have to congratulate him on "spicy lub on your clit and a viby" which I read in either a Scottish or pirate accent. Arrr!




OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/4/2013 12:51:43 PM)

I just got this little gem from some guy I've never talked to before:

quote:

Do you know what a worthless piece of shit you are? You are only good for one thing and that is sucking cock. I want to orally torture you and fuck your face until it hurts.


I always think it's hysterical when someone is trolling the internet for oral sex from random strangers doesn't see the irony of calling someone else a worthless piece of shit.




DomMeinCT -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/13/2013 9:17:03 AM)

Almost like clockwork, I got SIX of this identical message in the space of 2 minutes:


what would it take to get you to tie me up and piss all over my face?


He pops up fairly regularly every few months, usually on a Friday.




DomMeinCT -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/13/2013 9:21:43 AM)

And just a few minutes later, after telling the username above that I've reported him, I get this message from another username, same location and demographics:

always a whore on this sight grow up slut. and stop fucking animals

He's a keeper! [;)]




MistressDarkArt -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/13/2013 11:25:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

Almost like clockwork, I got SIX of this identical message in the space of 2 minutes:


what would it take to get you to tie me up and piss all over my face?


He pops up fairly regularly every few months, usually on a Friday.


TGIF, DomMe! [:D]




hlen5 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/13/2013 11:31:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

................. But I will have to congratulate him on "spicy lub on your clit and a viby" which I read in either a Scottish or pirate accent. Arrr!


September 19th is National Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

ETA: I wish I wouldn't have been so quick to hit delete on the troglodite that texted me recently!!




MasterCaneman -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/13/2013 2:35:00 PM)

Arr, that it is, lass. And 'tis a grand day I'll be having >arrr<, since th' general populace be farr havin' no idee why it is I be parlayin' in this manner that way to them scurvy dogs. Arr.




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