LadyPact
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
I may need to start a thread about this, but for the moment, I just have to make a comment about this.
LadyPact, your experience isn’t what everyone is going to experience and I feel that expecting/implying that people should experience things just the way you did or do is rather in the box thinking. It is rather sad that when someone comes for information and they are new, they are sent to another site, are told to do a search or go to a munch or event.
What? Are we here at CM unable to address their question or must they go to a public event or even go some place in person to have a valid need for information or involvement?
When I first came to CM, the boards were full of meaty topics along with the other kind of thread that seems to be most prevalent these days and many of us have encouraged the more meaty topics I think we miss, we blast newbie’s whether they have a clue or not and tell them to go some place else as if this place isn’t a valid resource. Are those with experience nullifying those that wish to gain some or learn simply because some feel they are more real or relevant than others?
I find this very sad.
I have been public about some things in my life and though it was mostly in the swingers arena, we had a lot of common ground. I hated it for many reasons that would be the same reasons I wouldn’t enjoy anything public with my d/s or bdsm now. Just not my thing. I am not a top and I am not sadistic, but does that mean my kink is any less in some manner or that my experiences as a dominant is somehow less because I don’t do the public thing other than a munch or meeting people in a more intimate setting? Does it mean that somehow I would be dangerous because I wasn’t taught, guided or mentored by going public with strangers to start with?
Hell, I don’t even want to do half of what some people do around here, but I will be damned if there is going to be a way I must do anything to be valid to other players, tops, dominants, submissives or what the fuck whatever. LOL
Let’s encourage people to ask even if they sound clueless to whatever degree. I can see being snarky when it is total wanker in deep fantasy that could make no sense at all, but when it is a question like the op posed… I find flippant answers that might discourage someone or make them feel like there is a special handshake that needs to be done to be involved, rather in the box and unfriendly in a way that closes more doors than it would open.
This is an opportunity to share, discus and inform and we miss the mark far too often.
The above is like saying you should only accept information from one source, rather than understand that more sources are available.
Oddly enough, I find munches, events, etc to be a more reliable resource. The net has proven itself time and time again *not* to be the best place for information. If nothing else, walking up to those people in the physical world allows a person to see that is the way they are REALLY LIVING. Not some version of what is found all too often of the make believe on the internet.
There is a STRONG kink community in SC. It has a rich leather history. BDSM munch groups are in every city. A lot of them used to post here to discuss those "meaty topics" that we both enjoyed. They aren't found as often on the boards these days. I think you and I both have an idea of why that doesn't happen anymore.
We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I still believe that face to face, hands on, or real world is the best way to learn.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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