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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/2/2012 10:03:16 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		I choose to have a slave girl.Dominant girls want only $$$ and nothing more.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/2/2012 10:34:50 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline



quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
.
Sooo, if a devoted sub of a NON-pro Domme wants to pay for his mistress' new refrigerator, or new set of tires for her car, in your eyes should that then make her ineligible to be on this site? Life COSTS money, and whether you are going to a pro, serving as slave to a non-pro, or are lucky enough to find a GF who is a Dominant, money will USUALLY enter into the lifestyle in one way or another.


If a devoted sub gets asked to pay for a new refrigerator or a new set of tires for his Mistresses car, then unless this is a full time relationship where the Mistress is also devoted to the sub, what she is actually doing is exploiting the sub.
All 'relationships' involve money and that's a given.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
One of my friends made a comment that has stayed with me. She said that male subs want female dominants to look a certain way. "Corsets, thigh high boots, long nails, lingerie, great hair and make up...now go look at how much some of that stuff costs."

If you want someone to have a specific appearance, you shouldn't complain when you're asked to support that appearance.




OsideGirl, I have had male subs wanting me to wear certain attire to entertain them. Guess what? they don't get anywhere near me. I don't entertain subs with silly needs.
Now if my partner wanted me to dress a certain way that's different and I would fully expect him to treat me to a new corset etc but if I accept gifts off a virtual stranger and in return amuse and entertain that stranger then I am a financial Domme.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/2/2012 10:53:31 AM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez

Does it seem to anyone else that the percentage of pro/fin Dommes has increased lately?


Not really. However, I have noticed that there seems to have been an increase in the number of legitimate (i.e. not an African scammer) 19-22 year old princesses.

A few years ago, most of those profiles seemed to be from either Nigeria or Ghana. However, I seldom see profiles from Africa anymore. I also don't see the scammer profiles where English clearly isn't their first language.


Now that you mention it, your observation matches mine. I think I just saw more overall because I was mentally discarding the scammers.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/2/2012 11:02:07 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

I choose to have a slave girl.Dominant girls want only $$$ and nothing more.


Perhaps you should be looking for a woman rather than a "girl".


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 3:51:48 AM   
FilmWithMistrix


Posts: 35
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		Best thing about these threads, it helps me weed out the whiney cunts who think that domination should be like a fucking Burger Kink drive through, "have it your way' all about them, on demand, at whatever obnoxious time of the day, because they want a free wank... and NEVER about the dominants needs or wants.

Yes, he's been hidden. Happy to oblige.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 8:52:11 AM   
trelaford


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt



Why doesn't CM delete pro/fin profiles? Because they are just as welcome here by the site owners as you are. Don't like it, ask for your money back and ffs, stop whining!



I don't know about you, but when I receive a message it is clearly stated above the text box:


DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!


So I question your premise here.


I doubt the site owners are all that comfortable with their site being exploited by people looking for monetary compensation in exchange for the rendering of sexual services.


There is a word for that.

< Message edited by trelaford -- 11/3/2012 9:06:52 AM >

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 2:46:09 PM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		For someone that doesn't know the difference between two simple English verbs ("send" and "give"), you construct sentences very well.

Logic .... eh, not so much.

(in reply to trelaford)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 3:27:46 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trelaford

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt



Why doesn't CM delete pro/fin profiles? Because they are just as welcome here by the site owners as you are. Don't like it, ask for your money back and ffs, stop whining!



I don't know about you, but when I receive a message it is clearly stated above the text box:


DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!


So I question your premise here.


I doubt the site owners are all that comfortable with their site being exploited by people looking for monetary compensation in exchange for the rendering of sexual services.


There is a word for that.



Dude, that's just a common sense warning for idiots. Caveat emptor!

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to trelaford)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 3:37:14 PM   
trelaford


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez

For someone that doesn't know the difference between two simple English verbs ("send" and "give"), you construct sentences very well.

Logic .... eh, not so much.




You're right, there is a distinction to be made.


But let's look at an excerpt from a random domme's profile, which took me approximately 20 seconds to find:


"If you want to chat or know more message me. I know my own worth, and if you're not willing to satisfy my needs don't even bother wasting my time.If you really want to catch my attention offer tribute. Ask and I will link you to my amazon wishlist.Then I can repay your services. Realtime must be earned."


Based on the logic of the post to which I replied, the fact that this woman is not banned indicates that the owners of this site are completely comfortable with seeing their website exploited in this manner.


I simply don't believe that's the case.


In my view, the OP could have expressed himself far more eloquently, but there is more than a grain of truth to what he's trying to say here.

< Message edited by trelaford -- 11/3/2012 3:38:57 PM >

(in reply to wannapleez)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 3:38:13 PM   
OpenMindOpenHand


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/16/2012
Status: offline 		There is a way of reporting underaged persons. Whether that will produce a result is up to Support.

There is no call to rule out financial or professional dominants, subs or slaves as they are, after all, like everyone else should be, seeking out those who fit their needs and not seeking harm to anyone. Try to follow suit!

As for money grubbers, it is simple enough not to contact them. Most of them are very upfront about what they want and they are no better or worse than those who are very upfront about only wanting sex, abuse, degradation, or etc.

While there are many people I wish were not on this site, as they are mostly looking at BDSM as an outlet for their sexual frustrations, I don't think the problem is that they are here. I think the problem is that there are too many people, who, like you, think that it is okay to seek whatever gives you a thrill but that everyone else should bend to their whims or be tossed off the site.

If someone you don't want to be involved with contacts you, you can politely tell them no, rudely tell them no, block them and/or mark their post as spam and delete it, If you run into a profile you are not interested in running into again, you can hide it, with or without blocking it.

Stop being so frigging Gestapo about things, accept that everyone does not have to be just like you and take some responsibility for your own comfort upon this site.

I mean, you're supposed to be a sub, right? Then, very submissively act like one and try not to make everyone else miserable by demanding we all kow tow to your whims!

(in reply to belgiansubmale)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 3:43:10 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline

yes, there are people here who want your wallet to satisfy your kink. there are also people here that like other things that i am not into, and i treat them all the same. i ignore, move on, or for the seriously annoying people, i block. simple as that.

(in reply to OpenMindOpenHand)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 3:56:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
Dang! How many times does the OP have to say that he wasn't aware of the hide feature, and now that he is, it's solves the issue? Geesh!
quote:

ORIGINAL: trelaford
I don't know about you, but when I receive a message it is clearly stated above the text box:


DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!


So I question your premise here.


I doubt the site owners are all that comfortable with their site being exploited by people looking for monetary compensation in exchange for the rendering of sexual services.


There is a word for that.
I doubt the site owners give a rat's ass as long as the site isn't utilized in completing the financial transaction where sexual services are rendered. As long as their butt remains out of the legal wringer, why would they care? For all you know, the site owner and/or Mods are interested in pro doming, the kink of financial domination, or have dynamics where they are in control of the household finances. All of which are perfectly legal and NONE of which are specifically sex for cash.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to trelaford)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 4:22:38 PM   
trelaford


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


Dang! How many times does the OP have to say that he wasn't aware of the hide feature, and now that he is, it's solves the issue? Geesh!
quote:

ORIGINAL: trelaford
I don't know about you, but when I receive a message it is clearly stated above the text box:


DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!


So I question your premise here.


I doubt the site owners are all that comfortable with their site being exploited by people looking for monetary compensation in exchange for the rendering of sexual services.


There is a word for that.
I doubt the site owners give a rat's ass as long as the site isn't utilized in completing the financial transaction where sexual services are rendered. As long as their butt remains out of the legal wringer, why would they care? For all you know, the site owner and/or Mods are interested in pro doming, the kink of financial domination, or have dynamics where they are in control of the household finances. All of which are perfectly legal and NONE of which are specifically sex for cash.





If they don't give a rat's ass, why did they include the guideline I cited in my previous post? To keep their butt out of the legal wringer? Perhaps. To protect people from themselves, as someone suggested above? Perhaps. Probably.


The point I made, which I believe still stands, is that the mere fact that somebody has not been banned does not indicate that their actions are condoned or encouraged.


Ignore them, move on, yes, of course! Clearly! Sometimes I feel moved to comment on issues where the world does not hang in the balance.


But don't you think there are some people on this site who are vulnerable? Who can easily be taken advantage of? Don't you think that's why we see so many people engaging in such exploitation? If it wasn't effective, it wouldn't exist!


I doubt the site owners feel good about seeing their website utilized in such a manner.


I hope people here can accept a divergent opinion. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 4:35:32 PM   
NoChoiceLeft


Posts: 35
Joined: 10/18/2012
Status: offline 		LOL, ok, seems like the place for this rant.
If you have to ASK me for money or I have to ASK you, then something is wrong with our relationship. The lines are not clearly drawn. If two people have an arrangement that involves one giving money to the other then so what?
A husband who works gives his housewife money, that doesn't make her a Domme, a sub or a fin/pro anything, it makes it their arrangement and their business.
I'd say you should all be much more worried about a partner who's focused on cash not being focused on being a partner. If it's business and you want to buy your orgasms, fine, call it business, do it legally and don't whine, but don't pretend it's a personal relationship. You're a wallet for paying rent, they're a hole to throw money and orgasms into.
If it mattered to the site, then they'd actually review profiles reported for illegal activity... they don't and don't boot them either. There's at least one guy who's advertizing seeking incest and animal involvement with actual animals, I've reported him, oh, twenty times or so now and here he is, blocked and hidden, but still coming up on my list every couple of days looking for women who are actual genetic family who will have sex with real live animals and eachother in front of him with implications and strong overtones indicating he'll pay cash. That's pretty far over the line and he's still here, has been for several years if I recall right from my old profile.
Guess what guys... if you want things done your way then you either need to design and run your own site, or go into law enforcement. Everything else is sound and fury, signifying nothing. (Though it does give us all things to get excited over and discuss and I like a good rant as much as anyone)
Point is, change what you can, let the rest go. If you aren't willing to do what's needed to fix something, or aren't capable, then this is all just free therapy so you can deal with it. If it's that big of a deal to you, try starting a signatory thread as a petition to the management here to make changes. They'll either boot you, ignore you and everyone who signs, or they'll notice the customers aren't happy. Either way, you did what you could.
(And don't tell me to do it for you, if I cared that much I would have done so already. I'm just here wasting time between watching Walking Dead reruns and writing my next chapter. I'm already getting what I want. And no, that's not a plug, don't ask which writer I am, buy books you want to read. LMAO, if I needed your money I'd post a pic of an angry half dressed teenage girl with breast implants and demand tributes in exchange for my dirty socks.)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 5:18:43 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trelaford
If they don't give a rat's ass, why did they include the guideline I cited in my previous post? To keep their butt out of the legal wringer? Perhaps. To protect people from themselves, as someone suggested above? Perhaps. Probably.
The warning/disclaimer is very much about covering the ass. As long as somebody has been warned, it relieves the site of any legal responsibility. Think about this from a business perspective. If this were your site, would you not put up disclaimers that would prevent any legal ramifications? I know I would. I'm thinking the site feels the same way. Have a look at TOS (Terms of Service). If that's not chock full of CYA (cover your ass) nothing is.


quote:

The point I made, which I believe still stands, is that the mere fact that somebody has not been banned does not indicate that their actions are condoned or encouraged.
Agreed. So what is left? Ambivalence.

quote:

Ignore them, move on, yes, of course! Clearly! Sometimes I feel moved to comment on issues where the world does not hang in the balance.
That part of My response was not directed at you. That's why it was above your quote and not beneath your statement. A few responders were still banging the same drum, even though the OP had said he was now happily using the hide feature.

quote:

But don't you think there are some people on this site who are vulnerable? Who can easily be taken advantage of? Don't you think that's why we see so many people engaging in such exploitation? If it wasn't effective, it wouldn't exist!
This is an adult site and the people accessing it should make adult decisions. Oh, I fully agree with you that if there were no prey, there would be no predators. However, I don't consider what consenting adults choose to do a form of exploitation. I think of this more as the big kids pool and if somebody can't tread water, this probably isn't the place for them.

Why do you consider adults to be vulnerable?


quote:

I doubt the site owners feel good about seeing their website utilized in such a manner.
Why? The site is a business and frankly, we (the forum participants) aren't at the top of the food chain here. It doesn't change anything about advertising rates or revenues.


quote:

I hope people here can accept a divergent opinion. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here.
You're not being unreasonable. We just don't agree. Frankly, if this were My business, I'd be concerned about those aspects first. Make a profit, keep costs down by avoiding legal liability, useless expenditures, etc. The pro/fin domme thing doesn't change the bottom line. Unless I'm mistaken, there have been a couple of pro/fin dommes in the past that have purchased advertising space. If anything, I'd see that as potential advertising revenue and an *asset* to have here.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to trelaford)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 5:32:26 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

I choose to have a slave girl.Dominant girls want only $$$ and nothing more.


Pffft. Your profile actually says you're looking for both.

I have several Dominant women as friends. While we wouldn't be a match in bed, most are lifestyle. Some are both pro and lifestyle. They've never asked me for a penny.

BTW, you are not looking for a slavegirl. You are not a Master. You're looking for a woman to Top. There's a difference.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/3/2012 6:29:08 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trelaford

quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez

For someone that doesn't know the difference between two simple English verbs ("send" and "give"), you construct sentences very well.

Logic .... eh, not so much.




You're right, there is a distinction to be made.


But let's look at an excerpt from a random domme's profile, which took me approximately 20 seconds to find:


"If you want to chat or know more message me. I know my own worth, and if you're not willing to satisfy my needs don't even bother wasting my time.If you really want to catch my attention offer tribute. Ask and I will link you to my amazon wishlist.Then I can repay your services. Realtime must be earned."


Based on the logic of the post to which I replied, the fact that this woman is not banned indicates that the owners of this site are completely comfortable with seeing their website exploited in this manner.


I simply don't believe that's the case.


In my view, the OP could have expressed himself far more eloquently, but there is more than a grain of truth to what he's trying to say here.


If you're going to quote a random FinDomme, please be sure to at least find one that's clearly real. There are many of us that aren't just looking to drain your wallet and leave you empty.

I am a FinDomme and I don't solicit strangers for money. I am blunt and up front about who I am and what I'm doing here. I state in My profile that I won't pull a newbie into the lifestyle. I also say that if you don't know what a FinDomme is, then you should keep looking for someone that's better suited for you because I'm not it.

If you're not into it, just block and move on. It's so simple. I don't understand why these conversations never stop.

Block, hide, ignore and move on!

(in reply to trelaford)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/4/2012 8:02:55 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline






quote:

I doubt the site owners feel good about seeing their website utilized in such a manner.
quote:

Why? The site is a business and frankly, we (the forum participants) aren't at the top of the food chain here. It doesn't change anything about advertising rates or revenues.



This ^
I would say, just be thankful you have a free site where you can join the forums, send messages and go into chat rooms for free! This site isn't a charity, its about selling advertizing space. Before people advertize they want to know the visitor demographics. A site like this needs to tailor to all needs and bring in as many people as possible. Ultimately the whole purpose of this sort of website is not to please one niche group but to make money for the people who run it.

I used to run a club in the UK. I used to invite certain popular Dommes along because I knew they had a huge fan base who would follow them as paying customers. I didn't run the club for the prestige, I ran it as a business and the one thing I discovered fairly early on was, serious BDSMers don't want to dip in their pockets. My club changed from initially just BDSM where I would of gone bankrupt within a year to Fetish. This ensured a larger group of people and a club that could survive and make a profit.

Always remember, 'You can't please all of the people all of the time'

< Message edited by MariaB -- 11/4/2012 8:04:21 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/4/2012 4:55:58 PM   
trelaford


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2012
Status: offline 		LadyPact-


I'm just going to address the points you made which I take issue with. I'm not using the quote function because it will soon become a massive block of hard-to-follow text which will take up half a page.


You may well be right that CM is simply in cover-its-ass mode. I don't know how liable they are for their users' actions and I don't know if putting up a warning absolves them from any such liability. I'm not a lawyer and I'm not going to argue from a position of ignorance.


With regard to the idea that the non-banning of blatantly exploitative profiles which demand 'tribute' in exchange for any form of contact (and there are many - perhaps more than you might think) simply reflects ambivalence or acceptance on the part of the site owners, I really question that. I think you are dramatically overestimating CM's ability to police its users. How many full-time employees do they have on their support team? My guess is zero. Try to report someone and what do you see? This message:


INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT IS REMOVED BY OUR AUTOMATED SYSTEM AFTER A PREDETERMINED NUMBER OF USERS HAVE REPORTED IT

REPORTS ARE NOT MANUALLY REVIEWED


You and several others have made reference to CM as a business, and I suppose that's correct - but I doubt its revenue is all that substantial, certainly not to the point where they can pay a staff of moderators to police the content of thousands of profiles. I don't know how much that jackass with the "foolproof ways to meet a woman, guaranteed!" ads I see every time I log out is paying CM, but it can't be all that much.


So with all of this said, I will reiterate the point that I believe there are many people on CM who are misusing and abusing the website; and the mere fact that they have not been banned does not indicate that the site owners approve of such behavior, or even that they are ambivalent about it. None of this is to suggest that I don't appreciate the existence of CM or that I can't navigate around such users - I just happen to think the point being made by the OP here was completely justified, and a few minutes of research would suffice to show that the problem is more widespread than some might want to believe.


As for why I think adults are vulnerable - I think some adults are vulnerable. Particularly those entering into D/s relationships, which can easily cross the line and become abusive. Yes, adults should be able to take care of themselves, in an ideal world. If you believe that they all can and do here in reality - I don't know what to say, vote Romney.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/4/2012 8:15:20 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I honestly don't know what paid workers CM has. I do know it has people who work Support and Mods who volunteer to handle the forum issues. I also know that VideoAdminAlpha has come on the boards at different times in the past to say that profiles are not in violation for a person being a pro or fin domme. In fact, the site has a specific section for Professional Services, so it would be difficult for Me to think that CM doesn't want those folks here.

Please do tell Me what the "use and abuse" part is about? Would that be because people are using the site in ways other than why you have an account here? This is usually the point in the song and dance about how it's a dating site, and people not looking for the kink of financial domination supposedly have more 'right' to be here than those that do. That kind of attempts to imply a MKIBTYK philosophy. It doesn't tend to fly, but if you've got a new angle on it, I'm all ears.

Are you going for the angle that the problem is just too big? If that were the case, why didn't the site disallow it when it was quite small? Ten years ago when the site started up, the owners could have made that call. They didn't. Heck, if you go back through the search feature, you can find people complaining about pro/fins within the first few months.

People entering D/s dynamics are vulnerable? Why? We're talking about financial domination here. That boils down to people not using their common sense if they decide to do something that isn't how they would handle their affairs if kink wasn't involved. Do most Obama supporters have such little faith?




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to trelaford)
Profile   Post #: 60
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