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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/13/2012 2:14:13 AM

byejosh

Posts: 14
Joined: 6/20/2012
Status: offline

I must say that while I wish I had any domme, my preference would be for a pro. I am not sure why. Maybe it is as simple as the fact that something about paying to be used is even more deliciously decadent.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

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Post #: 101

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/13/2012 11:51:40 AM

PranksterBtch

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/15/2012
Status: offline

Dear Collarme ... I want like buttons. If you give us like buttons on the forums, I will allow you to send me your bank acct numbers and first borns. Wait, scratch that ... no firstborns ... unless your bank acct is considerable. Wait .... what was the middle part?

(LOL @ Kana, MDA, LadyPact and Janah's responses above)

To each their own, but for some subs, they have the option to pay-to-play, or not to play at all. Why would you want to create an environment where some could not get their needs met? Maybe you're just pissed off that it didn't work out for you and then you had to pay. How is this any different than buying a television, or anything else that you later don't like? Shall we make lame televisions against the law as well? I say go with the advice to "Hide" any profiles you do not like.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

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Post #: 102

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 8:04:27 AM

MistressZaraUK

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline

Oh wow !!!

My first post on here, so I might as well jump in feet first :-)

What on earth is the problem some people have on this site and others with paid BDSM services ? OK, I hold my hand up, I do both fun play and paid play, they are very different things and generally involve very different types of people. Do I feel bad about charging certain people for my services, not at all, because that is what it is, a service. I provide a safe, secure place to meet people at a time that is convenient to them. I provide my time and effort to ensure they have the best experience possible. Any equipment used is my own, therefore I carry the cost of anything that gets damaged. In short, I provide a service for people who cannot easily access the general BDSM scene very easily.

As to it being an inferior experience, what rubbish ! With a paying client, I am totally focussed on providing exactly what they want from the session, my needs and wants never enter the equation. With a play partner I am much more selfish.

In the end, I think there will always be a small section of subs who belong to the 'something for nothing' brigade no matter what.

Just my 10p worth

Zara

(in reply to stef)

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Post #: 103

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 8:49:57 AM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

Nice way to break your cherry Zara. Well put.

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Post #: 104

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 8:51:53 AM

MistressZaraUK

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline

Thanks Nine

Think I am going to enjoy myself here

Zara x

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 8:53:47 AM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
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I predict a riot.

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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 9:31:48 AM

MstSebastian

Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline

Zara, very well put!

I also think there is a huge misunderstanding among a lot of people when it comes to the types of Dom/mes and types of subs that exist. So many of the subs who can't feel submissive without an emotional connection and relationship with their Dom/me fail to understand that there are those who don't want that. There are subs out there who, like paying to go get a massage, look at being tied up and spanked as a fun activity to do from time to time. They don't want a "lifestyle" that involves BDSM. They only want, and they deserve to have, the pleasure of a good spanking here and there. If they are willing to pay for it, then more power to them and to the professional who gets the bucks!

Too many people, in my estimation, think that their preferences for BDSM is the only "real" way. To them, I say "fuck off." It is up to each person, for themselves and for their own reasons, to determine what "real" BDSM is in their own lives. To me, I wouldn't feel comfortable being a professional Dom (not that there is much demand for professional male Doms). Without the emotional connection, it doesn't feel real to me. For others, having an emotional connection makes it feel fake. To each their own.

(in reply to MistressZaraUK)

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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 9:46:57 AM

MistressZaraUK

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian

Zara, very well put!

I also think there is a huge misunderstanding among a lot of people when it comes to the types of Dom/mes and types of subs that exist. So many of the subs who can't feel submissive without an emotional connection and relationship with their Dom/me fail to understand that there are those who don't want that. There are subs out there who, like paying to go get a massage, look at being tied up and spanked as a fun activity to do from time to time. They don't want a "lifestyle" that involves BDSM. They only want, and they deserve to have, the pleasure of a good spanking here and there. If they are willing to pay for it, then more power to them and to the professional who gets the bucks!

Too many people, in my estimation, think that their preferences for BDSM is the only "real" way. To them, I say "fuck off." It is up to each person, for themselves and for their own reasons, to determine what "real" BDSM is in their own lives. To me, I wouldn't feel comfortable being a professional Dom (not that there is much demand for professional male Doms). Without the emotional connection, it doesn't feel real to me. For others, having an emotional connection makes it feel fake. To each their own.

Thank you Sebastian

Yes, you have pretty much described my view of the scene. I have a number of people I play with for fun, but they are friends and occasional lovers. I play with them because they are attractive, interesting people who enrich my life in many ways.

Like you say, a service is simply that, a service. I'm a Tgirl Domme, so my client base is looking for something very specific when they hire me, something they are highly unlikely to obtain otherwise. I truly believe that there is someone for everyone out there, but until you find them, there will always be a market for the pro domme out there

Zara x

(in reply to MstSebastian)

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Post #: 108

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 9:55:16 AM

BeatriceSophia

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/1/2012
Status: offline

It is wonderfully refreshing to find an articulate defense of paid Dommes from both the perspective of those receiving and providing the service. In the end, that is what I perceive my role as being: the provider of a service. When I take on clients, I do my utmost to understand their needs, wants, background, and desire to grow or simply have a thrilling one-time experience. The joy of professional Domination is that it is understood that the client will be taken care of in a discreet, personalized, exciting manner that has strict professional boundaries. I know that this type of arrangement has provided security and reassurance to those clients who have very separate vanilla lives from their BDSM proclivities.

(in reply to MistressZaraUK)

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Post #: 109

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/14/2012 10:09:47 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If you pronounce it 'dom-A' I promise there will be torture involved.

OMG I just caught this. Can we say double torture please? And *not* the nice kind.

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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/19/2012 8:41:07 AM

QueenDelicia1

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2012
From: Chicago, IL, US o' A
Status: offline

^^ On that note, a sub once wrote me a poem. Rhymed "mommy" with "domme." Whips aside, of course, English is not everyone's first and/or best language, and it was a nice gesture, so...

All that I could say about the subject matter has been said. Sometimes, I do wish the Collarme searches or profile randomization thingy worked a little more like OkCupid tho, in presenting profiles which do not DIRECTLY conflict with one's interests, unless I am missing something? So that guys who have this maddening hatred for pros just never see pro profiles, and then send le hate mail...

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"A sadist is someone who refuses to be mean to a masochist." ~ Anonymous
For pics, session rates, and to read my oh so epic writings, visit: http://www.queendelicia.com/

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/19/2012 8:54:57 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenDelicia1

^^ On that note, a sub once wrote me a poem. Rhymed "mommy" with "domme." Whips aside, of course, English is not everyone's first and/or best language, and it was a nice gesture, so...

LMAO, THIS AGAIN? Well, I guess it's pretty widespread until they learn the "e" is silent.

quote:

All that I could say about the subject matter has been said. Sometimes, I do wish the Collarme searches or profile randomization thingy worked a little more like OkCupid tho, in presenting profiles which do not DIRECTLY conflict with one's interests, unless I am missing something? So that guys who have this maddening hatred for pros just never see pro profiles, and then send le hate mail...

I don't have a problem with Pro-Dommes. There are a lot of submissives who cannot, for whatever reason, find or have the time to commit to a lifestyle Domme. Not everyone wants a 24/7, some just need it once a year, once every few months, whatever, and then go back to Vanillaville...and for them the Pro-Dommes provide a valuable service.

I have several long-distance subby friends who would never have ANY experience in BDSM Play or D/s if it weren't for the Pro-Dommes they've visited.

(in reply to QueenDelicia1)

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Post #: 112

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/19/2012 9:02:08 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

I predict a riot.

I'll bring the soundtrack, if you bring the feather pillows. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hamKl-su8PE

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

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Post #: 113

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/19/2012 9:16:36 AM

QueenDelicia1

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2012
From: Chicago, IL, US o' A
Status: offline

^^ Ah, by no means am I speaking of you, dear, It's just... that *one guy* who sends le hate mail, lol. And, I have heard similar good stories of first times being with pros. :)
Of course, I guess my sometimes dream of a different search system becomes complicated when you select the "friends" tab as something you're looking for on any site. Doh.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)

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Post #: 114

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/22/2012 10:01:58 AM

Krystalgoddess1

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/19/2012
Status: offline

Loving the discussion!

Thought I'd share with you a message from a "sub slave" I recieved today:

"Your not a financial domme. You just want provided and pampered for, typical lazy woman and female nature at its finest. However if you pay ME a small tribute to be your slave i might take you seriously. Its only £60 one off payment via paypal"

Hahaha... Maybe now I should taint all subs with the same brush

(in reply to belgiansubmale)

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Post #: 115

RE: Pro dommes or findommes or whatever - 11/22/2012 10:55:51 AM

PrincessDonna11

Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
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If a person chooses to charge for their services there is nothing wrong with it and there is a market for it if you didnt notice.....I think its a way for people to be able to walk away with out having to be on command..but then TPE and S/m has become so meshed its unreal.....

(in reply to Krystalgoddess1)

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Post #: 116