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RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:06:10 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90

I guess I'm saying we are still learning both of our limits we discuss everything we do I've been in abusive relationships and this isn't abusive. I've had the shit beaten out of me every day for absolutely no reason and that had nothing to do with sex. I do like it rough just everyone has to make trials and errors .



No, they don't have to make trials and errors. If either of you cared enough about you then you'd find out what to do and how to do it. What you're saying is incredibly ignorant, when people learn to drive they get instruction, they have to take a test, they have a learner's permit for a while...they're not thrown the keys to a car and told to be home at midnight. Why do you think it's ok for him to experiment on you? Why are you letting him? A mistake might happen but what you're doing isn't mistakes, not when you don't even care enough to find out what to do beforehand.

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:08:04 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90

We r in Houston TX we have looked around for other couples like us but a lot of them are old and fat and Half of the time they arnt really Dom/sub they r just pretending for shits and giggles.


What the fuck would you know about it?

See, this is why I think this is some made up bullshit, but in case it wasn't, I answered honestly. Your profile cannot be found. Protecting yourself or hiding? You are with an abuser and calling people old and fat and they aren't really real dominants or submissive's?

What, were you bored on a Sunday and decided to play a little attention seeking, damsel in distress?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:09:35 PM   
TheBoyDownBelow


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline 		This has the signs of domestic abuse written all over it. And yeah, he promise not to do it again. Don't believe a single word! I heard that way too many times. As with any other domestic violence, the abused's guilt keeps them in the relationship for way too long. As sad as it is, often you cannot help the helpless. The only advice I can give is RUN! As far as possible...

< Message edited by TheBoyDownBelow -- 11/4/2012 1:10:26 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:13:03 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		denial is a disease. i've done face-slapping during play...and i've never gotten a black eye or bruises from it. sounds more he's punching you.

sweetheart, another recent thread has a woman with a story that is eerily similar to yours. ("he's such a great guy and i really, really like it." "it's not abuse, it's kink.") take the advice that older, seasoned people in long-term relationships are giving you. you shouldn't be scared of someone you love. get help. therapy ain't a bad idea, either.

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:14:16 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
So, basically, you're saying that he lacks control. He needs to stop until he learns control.

Certainly that was my immediate reaction although I went a lot farther with it. You know the old adage about "controlling other people starts with controlling yourself." I have a hard time calling anyone with this big a lack of self-discipline "dominant". I certainly can't imagine respecting such a person or trusting them.

Obviously, however, the OP disagrees with that assessment which, I suspect, is the real problem area here. Although I have to admit that I'm struggling to believe this isn't yet another of the imaginary stories that seem to be populating the boards recently.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:20:11 PM   
QueenRah


Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90

We r in Houston TX we have looked around for other couples like us but a lot of them are old and fat


So, you can't learn anything from old, fat people??? We have nothing of value to impart? I guess I'll just stfu, now.


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Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:24:08 PM   
TheBoyDownBelow


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Although I have to admit that I'm struggling to believe this isn't yet another of the imaginary stories that seem to be populating the boards recently.


I heard these statements like "he promised not to do it anymore", "he is the best husband/BF I ever had", "but he really cares for me" in my immediate social environment way too often for not being real. Imaginary or not, the advice should stay the same.

Domestic Violence is something that really pisses me off. Don't any tolerance for that...

< Message edited by TheBoyDownBelow -- 11/4/2012 1:29:29 PM >

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:25:35 PM   
Babyslave90


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		Well I'm not making this up I just made this profile just to post this question so idk y it's not showing up I'm defending him bc I love him and I really wasn't expecting everyone to attack me with leave him comments. I came on this message board to tell someone what was going on with me that also enjoys pain and being dominated like I do bc I do not have any friends that also like it. So I really appreciate y'all supporting me and not thinking that I'm a drama queen. But whatever ill find another site to find some like people.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:27:14 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I know you're not going to even google what I mentioned. I'm not doing this just for you, this might be a complete BS story on your part. It's for any other brainless wonder who thinks it's ok to jump into the deep end without finding out how deep the water is.

Face slapping is edge play, it cannot be done without risk.

Dangers of face slapping...

Brain damage- concussion, shaken impact syndrome
Ear damage - nerves (hearing loss), tissue (cauliflower ear), ear drum rupture
Eye damage - detached retina causing blindness or decreased vision
Nerve paralysis
Damaged skin with permanent scarring-especially over the cheekbones and lips
Neck joint damage to the cervical spine - whiplash
Bone damage- broken cheekbones or jaw, nose, teeth
Jaw joint damage- TMJ
Muscular damage- especially around the eyes which can cause one to droop
Trauma to the breathing structure - asphyxiation

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:27:14 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		so basically you just came here for everyone to tell you what you wanted to hear. Gotchya.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:27:47 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I may be old, fat AND a Houstonian, but i know better than to stay in abusive relationships. So there *sticks out tongue* There's some youth for you.

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I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to QueenRah)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:29:03 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90

No it's not just with one hit that marks he slaps me a lot of times in about the same place that's y it marks most of them are normal every day slaps just enough to wake me up but then one or two will be so hard my ears ring or ill see stars.


Would you allow any vanilla guy to hit you in the face and leave swollen bruises that others would ask you about?

Are you out of your mind???

Don't justify abuse by cloaking it in BDSM.

I doubt that even the most seasoned masochist would allow their face to be marked.

If you don't run away from this guy, you are giving him permission.

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:30:55 PM   
autumnember


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline 		OP i love getting slapped across the face (in the right context of course) though i can honestly say that he has never left marks other than one time i got a swollen lip. If he does not know his own strength then he needs to go slower and for you to say that you wont give him the satisfaction of knowing it hurt .. well then you are at fault as well. Communication is sooo important and you are letting him down. In the scene when it gets to the point where you cant handle any harder just tell him. (think yellow light). Go to the public ... them being fat and old should have no bearing on friendship (even fat old people have sex lives) and then you can learn from them. Yes some couples are just in the bedroom but they too have a wealth of knowledge. They are still "real".

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:33:35 PM   
Babyslave90


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		Thank u lizi that is the kind of helpful advice I was looking for and I was googling it when I got blown up with emails about how I'm a liar and other bullshit and actually I'm texting my boyfriend all of this information and we r discussing what we r going to do make our play more safe would an abuser do that?

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:35:35 PM   
TheBoyDownBelow


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90

would an abuser do that?


YES!

And to all of the people who question the credibility of the OP, shame on you! That is exactly why Domestics Abuse continues and is tolerated in our society.

< Message edited by TheBoyDownBelow -- 11/4/2012 1:44:13 PM >

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:37:16 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		FR:

Babyslave's response to our advice made me change my sig line.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:42:17 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90
But whatever ill find another site to find some like people.


You're going to have a really hard time finding like minded people because being a Dominant that is out of control and doing damage goes against WIITWD.

The only people that you find that will support you are other out of control Dominants and the subs that don't have enough sense to save themselves.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:43:10 PM   
autumnember


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline 		LOL that's awesome

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:45:06 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Babyslave90
we r discussing what we r going to do make our play more safe would an abuser do that?


Yup, they typically will say that they'll change to keep their punching bag from leaving.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Babyslave90)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Some advice for a young slave? - 11/4/2012 1:55:34 PM   
Babyslave90


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		Oh well I didn't know that I thought he sounded sincere. Idk what is wrong with me I'm going to talk to him when he gets home.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 60
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