Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Obedience - real life


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Obedience - real life Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:33:48 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Today Master gave me a command that i'm finding most difficult to continue. i know obedience is important - and i do like pleasing my Master. Yet, sometimes commands are difficult to complete. Want to know how others have handled this in real life please.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:36:06 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it ... and not just because it's a command, but because your own interior hard-wiring deems that you must in order to remain true to yourself and your ideals.

Good luck with it, Submotive.. whatever it is, I hope you can get through it.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:37:17 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		I just tell him... no can do... sorry.. got something else instead... if he gets pist.. he gets pist.. and then I tell him.. if it can be done.. you go do it..

Edited to add... it's all in how it' s said. And him knowing reality sometimes stops things from being done. And yes ...while dealing in real life.. reality still steps in and shows it's face too...


< Message edited by BreakMeShakeMe -- 6/15/2006 12:40:10 PM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:39:13 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		First, I'd have to ask you why you're having difficulty? Is it a physical issue, an emotional issue, a "limits" issue?

Second, I'd have to ask you whether you've discussed your difficulty with the one person who can really answer your questions -- your Master.

Obedience is important, and if you are unable to obey, it is also important to let your owner know the situation -- he will certainly have suggestions or be able to answer your questions in order to improve your chances of obeying, OR, if it is unresolveable, will need to know this, in order to decide how he wants to proceed with you from there.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:50:49 PM   
trippingdaisy


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		It's hard to answer a question like this with limited information. Why are you having a hard time with it? Is it too emotionally or physically strenuous? Is it causing psychological pain? Is it a limit that you've set with Him prior? Soft or hard limit?

Suffice it to say that i've had those types of commands too, and honestly? If it wasn't a hard limit, or it wasn't something that i couldn't do due to physical incapabilities...i just sucked it up and did it. i always find that the harder it is to accomplish something, the better i feel about it in the end, after it's done.

If it's a limit that He's trying to stretch and you can't do it, it's your responsibility to talk to Him about it. Plain and simple.

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:52:01 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe

I just tell him... no can do... sorry.. got something else instead... if he gets pist.. he gets pist.. and then I tell him.. if it can be done.. you go do it.. ...


Right...and know THIS:  the very first time you tell that to your Dominant, you have pretty much ENDED your D/s relationship!   You cannot expect it to continue if you just up and tell Him/Her "NO".
 
Having said that... I refer you back to LadiesBladewing.  What she said!
 
Communicate, communicate communicate!

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:53:43 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

First, I'd have to ask you why you're having difficulty? Is it a physical issue, an emotional issue, a "limits" issue?

Second, I'd have to ask you whether you've discussed your difficulty with the one person who can really answer your questions -- your Master.

Obedience is important, and if you are unable to obey, it is also important to let your owner know the situation -- he will certainly have suggestions or be able to answer your questions in order to improve your chances of obeying, OR, if it is unresolveable, will need to know this, in order to decide how he wants to proceed with you from there.

Da'Avatar ZWD


This was well said.

There are a number of reasons why a submissive/slave cannot obey. Could be physically unable, mentally unable, feel that's its a moral issue, could be detrimental to the sub/slave's well being (jobs, family, etc).

Dominants/Masters/Mistresses are not infallible. They're also not psychic. The best course is to sit down and talk about it. Have your reasons ready and be logical about it. If it's something that you can't live with, you may need to examine your relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:57:50 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe

I just tell him... no can do... sorry.. got something else instead... if he gets pist.. he gets pist.. and then I tell him.. if it can be done.. you go do it.. ...


Right...and know THIS:  the very first time you tell that to your Dominant, you have pretty much ENDED your D/s relationship!   You cannot expect it to continue if you just up and tell Him/Her "NO".
 
Having said that... I refer you back to LadiesBladewing.  What she said!
 
Communicate, communicate communicate!


I disagree.... being able to tell a dom NO isn't the end of the world or a relationship.


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 12:58:33 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		i would talk with Him about why you cant do what he has asked... 
 
i did with my former Master... sometimes He would just say "tuff shit, do it"....  Sometimes He would understand... i have to admit, i respected Him more when He said tuff shit,,, He know down deep i was just being lazy about certain things....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:05:19 PM   
MasterRoissey


Posts: 40
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		you"ve gotten some sound advice here (and some not so).I am always willing to hear My slaves concerns. I may well not change My directive, but communication in D/s is not different than any other relationship. and as stated...it all in how you approach it.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:07:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive
Today Master gave me a command that i'm finding most difficult to continue. i know obedience is important - and i do like pleasing my Master. Yet, sometimes commands are difficult to complete. Want to know how others have handled this in real life please.

You do it.

Or you say "Master I'm having a lot of problem obeying on this one, can we work it out together?"  and then you work it out together.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:07:55 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I think the wording is important here. Submotive said it's 'most difficult to continue' which implys she is currently obeying whatever the command is so it's not something she can't do. She went on to say it's difficult to complete .. so again, it seems like she's doing something, just finding it hard to finish but it's obvious that she wants to because it will please her Master. I look forward to more clarification.. because my answer might change with it.. or it might not!

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:08:39 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe
I just tell him... no can do... sorry.. got something else instead... if he gets pist.. he gets pist.. and then I tell him.. if it can be done.. you go do it.. ...

Right...and know THIS:  the very first time you tell that to your Dominant, you have pretty much ENDED your D/s relationship!   You cannot expect it to continue if you just up and tell Him/Her "NO".
 
Having said that... I refer you back to LadiesBladewing.  What she said!
 
Communicate, communicate communicate!

I disagree.... being able to tell a dom NO isn't the end of the world or a relationship.

I beg to differ with you...at least in the manner you suggested (that I've now highlighted in red).  But...I read your profile and have no interest in discussing it with you.  We'll have to agree to disagree, honey.

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:10:59 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		IMHO, I think it depends on what the command was--we have of late had discussions about hard and soft limits---as well as commands and control---a submissive needs to learn to give up control--now that does not mean, controlling the Dom/me and then feeling " aha, things are going My way and now I can submit because it is what i want"--hope naha, nada---Dominants also push soft limits, hence the term "soft"--meaning you have indicated that they CAN be pushed, tried, negotiated---versus hard which says "nope no way" as truesub indicated---given all that---there are times when a command may cause, hmm angst, discomfort, an inconvenience---well that's-- at times-- kind of the point--if it is all about your comfort, your convenience and not the Dominants wishes, then I'd say---well perhaps you need to look at your submission a tad deeper-- you need to look at your reactions, because that's where the real submission is embraced, in your reactions---if you find yourself saying "yeah but.."- are you as Celeste said, fighting against the norm? well probably as we weren't programmed by society this way--so it takes more work, a real focus on the deprogramming, a real focus on the WANT and a focus on the completeness and joy we feel when we really do let go---after all, no one said it was easy--did they?

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:13:02 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
I beg to differ with you...at least in the manner you suggested (that I've now highlighted in red).  But...I read your profile and have no interest in discussing it with you.  We'll have to agree to disagree, honey.



Works for me....


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:16:52 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

First, I'd have to ask you why you're having difficulty? Is it a physical issue, an emotional issue, a "limits" issue?

Second, I'd have to ask you whether you've discussed your difficulty with the one person who can really answer your questions -- your Master.

Obedience is important, and if you are unable to obey, it is also important to let your owner know the situation -- he will certainly have suggestions or be able to answer your questions in order to improve your chances of obeying, OR, if it is unresolveable, will need to know this, in order to decide how he wants to proceed with you from there.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org

Thank You - The command is simply that. There is no real reason i cannot obey. i'm just noticing my internal reactions and don't like what i see. i get irritated instead of thankful, feel rebellious instead of submissive - LOL - but then, i must remember i've only been doing this for 4 months. But maybe i'll always be somewhat of a brat.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:18:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive
Thank You - The command is simply that. There is no real reason i cannot obey. i'm just noticing my internal reactions and don't like what i see. i get irritated instead of thankful, feel rebellious instead of submissive - LOL - but then, i must remember i've only been doing this for 4 months. But maybe i'll always be somewhat of a brat.

And you should STILL communicate to him these feelings you are having- it's vital information for future reference.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:25:30 PM   
trippingdaisy


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive
Thank You - The command is simply that. There is no real reason i cannot obey. i'm just noticing my internal reactions and don't like what i see. i get irritated instead of thankful, feel rebellious instead of submissive - LOL - but then, i must remember i've only been doing this for 4 months. But maybe i'll always be somewhat of a brat.

And you should STILL communicate to him these feelings you are having- it's vital information for future reference.


Completely agreed.

If you find yourself feeling 'bratty' or however you want to put it...it's still vital to speak to your Dom and work out with Him what it is you're feeling. Hell, i talk to my Master all the time about how i'm feeling...probably too much now that i'm pregnant. MAN, do i talk a lot. But in the end, He appreciates it, because that way He'll be able to predict my reactions better.

Communication is #1. We can give our opinions all day, but we won't be able to truly work it out with you like He can.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:27:32 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trippingdaisy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive
Thank You - The command is simply that. There is no real reason i cannot obey. i'm just noticing my internal reactions and don't like what i see. i get irritated instead of thankful, feel rebellious instead of submissive - LOL - but then, i must remember i've only been doing this for 4 months. But maybe i'll always be somewhat of a brat.

And you should STILL communicate to him these feelings you are having- it's vital information for future reference.


Completely agreed.

If you find yourself feeling 'bratty' or however you want to put it...it's still vital to speak to your Dom and work out with Him what it is you're feeling. Hell, i talk to my Master all the time about how i'm feeling...probably too much now that i'm pregnant. MAN, do i talk a lot. But in the end, He appreciates it, because that way He'll be able to predict my reactions better.

Communication is #1. We can give our opinions all day, but we won't be able to truly work it out with you like He can.



< momentary hijack>

congrats on being pregnant... ... just wait lol if you think you talk a lot now it gets worse lol
 
<end hijack>

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to trippingdaisy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Obedience - real life - 6/15/2006 1:27:46 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive
Thank You - The command is simply that. There is no real reason i cannot obey. i'm just noticing my internal reactions and don't like what i see. i get irritated instead of thankful, feel rebellious instead of submissive - LOL - but then, i must remember i've only been doing this for 4 months. But maybe i'll always be somewhat of a brat.

And you should STILL communicate to him these feelings you are having- it's vital information for future reference.


Agreed. It may also change how he approaches the subject. Not meaning that he'll take the order away, but at least present it in a different context.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Obedience - real life Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094