RE: BDSM has lost its way

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RE: BDSM has lost its way - 12/19/2012 1:45:04 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess

FR

I don't view BDSM as a "movement", "organization", "religion" or any such thing. It is a private journey that I am taking. And except for the community that I have chosen to build around myself, I'm not really interested in other people's journeys, per se. So if others want to go more "deeply" that is their prerogative. If others want to stay "shallow", that is their prerogative, too. As long as no one is forcing me into a nonconsensual situation, all is well. And what other adults who are interested in BDSM choose to do consensually, is their own business.

I'm a foodie, too, but I could care less that fast food exists and that some people make it their primary source of nutrition. I don't see how the existence of fast food decreases the overall "seriousness", "depth", "nuance" of food that the rest of us choose to enjoy. It's just a variation on a theme, and it all goes under the heading "food". Whatever.

Make your own journey. Don't worry about the others.

Amen to that! I couldn't possibly care less what "groups" do or what people do in public events. That has zero effect on my life and my M/s relationship. We do what works for us, it's just as valid as it ever was and the bullshit power struggles and judgments that go on in public meets can be damned. Making the kind of sweeping generalizations about BDSM that the OP did makes about as much sense as saying "love" isn't what it used to be or "romance" has totally gone in the toilet. Speak for your own jaded, unhappy, dissatisfied self and leave me and mine out of it

luci

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(in reply to fucktoyprincess)

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RE: BDSM has lost its way - 12/19/2012 2:12:38 PM

toxic66

Posts: 47
Joined: 5/14/2004
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I think you would be a lot happier and less stressed if you stopped worrying so much about what other people are doing, thinking, or even calling themselves. The 50 shades of grey thing is making BDSM more mainstreme but as others have said I see it as a good thing. I can be a bit more open with what I do and it brings more people into the community. There will be some I get a long with and there may be some I don't... was it really any different than before? You seem bent out of shape that some are making money off of this. I am unsure why as there has been people making money off of this for a very long time. I was into this for a very long time before I got involved in the community precisely because it seemed clickish and political and lots of one true way people. That is one thing I like about these boards is they squash that way of thinking when it pops up on here. I got lucky and the local parties I go to are so kicked back and relaxed. People will gladly help and show you how to do things but unless you are doing something dangerous and might injure someone they don't judge and presume to tell you you are doing it wrong. If someone wants to call himself master or dominant and his significant other agrees to then what business is it really of mine? Its not like they are declaring themselves to be a doctor and preparing preform surgery on someone.

(in reply to slaveluci)

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Post #: 142

RE: BDSM has lost its way - 12/19/2012 2:24:21 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
The things people here mock, certifications, pay for training, asinine books, self important blowhards, mentors for hire, clubs with secret decoder rings ARE EXACTLY WHAT I AM RAILING AGAINST...LOL! That is what the scene is becoming.

I guess I still don't understand. Yes, those things exist. They always have. They always will. Humans do not behave wisely when sexuality gets into the mix.

But so what? It was only a few years ago that Carol and I entered "the scene" -- insofar as we did anyway. All those things existed then yet we still benefited greatly. We still found various real and genuine people, yourself among them, to help us get sorted. None of the things you list above would keep me from participating more in the scene. Actually, the only thing preventing that is the fact that we're not voyeurs, exhibitionists, or into SM. So there just isn't much draw or reason for us to spend money and go.

Insofar as CM being somehow better than real life that also doesn't match my experience. The last time I was freaked out by a group of kinksters -- some semblance of "the community" rather than an individual -- it was here. Actually, so was the time before that.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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Post #: 143

RE: BDSM has lost its way - 12/19/2012 2:25:19 PM

SacredDepravity

Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: toxic66 Its not like they are declaring themselves to be a doctor and preparing preform surgery on someone.

Well, SOME people are...intense medical play anybody? Hehe

Anyway, couldn't agree with you more about the rest.

SD
*grins sweetly and scampers off after a scalpel, spatula, and a rubber chicken*
Medical play is FUN!!!!

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Post #: 144

RE: BDSM has lost its way - 12/19/2012 3:52:55 PM

toxic66

Posts: 47
Joined: 5/14/2004
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Ahh, I forgot about medical play!

Yes, declare yourself a doctor and there are all kinds of cool toys you can play with...

Mmmmm medical play does sound fun! What you got planned with the spatula and the chicken?

(in reply to SacredDepravity)

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Post #: 145

RE: BDSM has lost its way - 12/19/2012 3:54:48 PM

SacredDepravity

Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
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Cooking of course!