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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 2:23:37 PM

VideoAdminChi

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quote:

that person's remarks are left to offend

I thought I deleted all of "that person's" offensive posts but if I missed any that violate forum guidelines or TOS, please create a ticket.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 2:46:00 PM

needlesandpins

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

that person's remarks are left to offend

I thought I deleted all of "that person's" offensive posts but if I missed any that violate forum guidelines or TOS, please create a ticket.

no you left the original post made by that person that caused others to call out that person's behaviour as being.....well you know. so like i said, a person can act a certain way, you just can't tell them they are doing so, even if they are actually breaking the rules of the site themselves.

tickets prove to be of no use from what we see written in the forums.

needles

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 2:48:52 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Well, LaT, in a work environment I'm expected to behave a certain way toward coworkers and if I don't, others are well within their right to contact HR about it. When a coworker was sexually harassing me, I did just that. No my "wittle feelings" were not hurt, I simply used the tools that have been put in place for handling such issues, so I used them. Just like I would here, if I ever felt the need (which is extremely rare).

Hey I have no problem blocking people whom I think are uncivil. And I don't need to mock and insult to make my point. Why do you?

Collarchat is not a work environment. I am not getting paid to be here.

I am not making any of my comments personal, or about any one person. I am discussing an over all thought process. If that is mocking or insulting to you, it is not my intent. It only means that YOU feel you fit into a category of people/behaviour I find ridiculous.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 2:53:18 PM

doctorgrey

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:17:19 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I find it disappointing that those who prefer some moderation are slight-handedly being referred to as children who need nannies. Bummer.

I find the attitude mentioned here curious. To me, those complaining about over-moderation appear like spoiled, petulant children whining because they were not granted carte blanche to bully each other in the school yard. It seems the idea that their own juvenile behavior might be one of the reasons for what they view as heavy-handed moderation never occurred to them.

Fascinating.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:24:02 PM

needlesandpins

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I find it disappointing that those who prefer some moderation are slight-handedly being referred to as children who need nannies. Bummer.

I find the attitude mentioned here curious. To me, those complaining about over-moderation appear like spoiled, petulant children whining because they were not granted carte blanche to bully each other in the school yard. It seems the idea that their own juvenile behavior might be one of the reasons for what they view as heavy-handed moderation never occurred to them.

Fascinating.

or you are just completely missing that point

needles

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:26:52 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
or you are just completely missing that point

needles

Considering where this comment came from, I find it unlikely that I've missed much. Thank you for your excellent input.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:32:56 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

To me, those complaining about over-moderation appear like spoiled, petulant children whining because they were not granted carte blanche to bully each other in the school yard.

Well, that was an interesting generalization.

I've never been modslapped for bullying, as far as I know, and have generally been characterized as well behaved.

While my main gripe has been with the collective punishment policy, I'm inclined to agree that the level of moderation may be too high.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:42:33 PM

needlesandpins

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ah, so you think that people should be allowed to act a certain way, get away with a lack of moderation, but those that point out the behaviour are the ones that should be moderatored? well done on that score.

you don't think that in fact we should be allowed to say something in a forum that we would say to someone in real life were they acting a certain way?

i'm not saying that the total slagging matches shouldn't be moderatored. infact if you were to read previous posts of mine you'd see i say the same thing. however, if someone acts in a certain fashion you should have the right to tell them so.

the arpig stuff never actually bothered me. i never reported any of the 'monicas' for the use of language or anything else. what i did was ignore what i didn't want to read. if something were to be personally aimed at myself, and i couldn't hold my own then i'd have to consider whether i'm actually fit to be around people in the first place.

yes certain people set out to bully, but a person can only be bullied if they allow it themselves. i know i've been there, and i changed my situation myself. however, i was at school, not in an adult forum.

i don't think i've ever hit the report button in my time here. i'm sure someone can correct me if i'm wrong. i deem myself strong enough to deal with anything aimed at me, or posted to deliberately instigate. other than that you can just block people, or ignore what they write. the ones reporting things that are not even aimed at them are as bad as the ones that bitch about stuff on tv but still watch it.

needles

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:45:46 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
While my main gripe has been with the collective punishment policy, I'm inclined to agree that the level of moderation may be too high.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

I disagree that it's too high. I would characterize the moderation as inconsistent, often too lax, and/or moderating the wrong things. I've noticed a tendency to decline to moderate until a situation is out of hand, at which point the mods look ineffective, and then they moderate everything which gives the impression of heavy-handedness. Mod11 was heavy-handed. The current mods, not so much. Consistency is the larger issue, IMO.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:52:11 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
the ones reporting things that are not even aimed at them are as bad as the ones that bitch about stuff on tv but still watch it.

needles

What I usually report are the TOS violations: graphic photos, contact info, illegal activity. If that makes me a horrible person for reporting things that aren't aimed at me....I'm fine with that.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:57:08 PM

Aswad

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Since when was Eleven heavy-handed?

And consistency is a distant third to ROI and the dominoe effects (loss of posters, reduced participation, etc.).

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 3:58:29 PM

needlesandpins

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
the ones reporting things that are not even aimed at them are as bad as the ones that bitch about stuff on tv but still watch it.

needles

What I usually report are the TOS violations: graphic photos, contact info, illegal activity. If that makes me a horrible person for reporting things that aren't aimed at me....I'm fine with that.

i don't think anyone is going to have a problem with that. it's person to person stuff that i am talking about that actually has nothing to do with the person reporting it. if the people concerned are all fine with it then fine, if they are not they can report it themselves.

needles

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 4:02:42 PM

NuevaVida

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LaT, I know it wasn't aimed at me and I'm not personally offended nor did I take it personally. I just don't relate to a grown adult playing the mocking/insult game. I prefer positive discourse, which is what I've been trying to have here, but that's just a personal preference.

I think this thread has taken a direction that Jeff certainly did not intend but hey these things happen.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 4:04:42 PM

Kaliko

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I think the title of this thread is so very meta.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 4:13:35 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

Since when was Eleven heavy-handed?

And consistency is a distant third to ROI and the dominoe effects (loss of posters, reduced participation, etc.).

IWYW,
— Aswad.

Since I joined 5 years ago and grew steadily worse until her retirement.

And I think improving consistency of moderation could improve the domino effects you mentioned. I've been a moderator for various forums for many years. The largest of those forums suffered the greatest loss of active posters and least diversity of posts when the moderators were inconsistent. The style of moderation, whether heavy-handed or next-to-none made no difference in activity level.

Granted, this is only anecdotal evidence of a group unrelated to kink, which may not apply equally in this case. However, considering that 11 was consistent, if over-zealous, I think it bears out.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 4:20:15 PM

dcnovice

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quote:

Actually, I am fine with Jerry Springer existing and I am fine with CM having sewage. Because you see, I can make the CHOICE to not watch Springer, or even any television at all. Just as I can choose to not read posts that I deem as sewage.

Quite true.

I can, and regularly do, make the CHOICE to skip trash TV and its CM equivalents. And no, I don't need a nanny to protect me either.

Yet I think, as I tried to explain above, that the degree of "sewage" content has an impact beyond my individual reading choices. That's because I've seen it spur many of our most interesting and insightful posters to make the CHOICE to move on entirely. Their right, of course, but the cumulative effect has been to impoverish the site for me and, I suspect, many others.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 4:30:29 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Since I joined 5 years ago and grew steadily worse until her retirement.

I never noticed. Strict, sure. But not heavy-handed, in my experience. And, as you say, consistent.

Improved consistency in itself, however, is not going to cut it for me, at least.

Lost investment is what made me stop investing.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 4:58:00 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Since I joined 5 years ago and grew steadily worse until her retirement.

I never noticed. Strict, sure. But not heavy-handed, in my experience. And, as you say, consistent.

Improved consistency in itself, however, is not going to cut it for me, at least.

Lost investment is what made me stop investing.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

In 5 years, I recall receiving only two gold letters that dealt with a violation of the guidelines on my part. Since only one of those was from the current staff, despite my propensity for snark, I can't agree with the assessment that the current staff is heavy-handed.

The rest of the gold letters I've received from current staff were simply courtesy notifications that my post was pulled because it quoted or responded to a post that contained a violation. Since each of those notices contained the text of my message and an invitation to repost the relevant content, if any, I don't consider this over-moderation.

Regarding your statement about lost ROI, all I can say is "fair enough." Our experiences and perspectives differ but I can certainly respect your evaluation.

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RE: The decline of collarme - 1/3/2013 5:06:39 PM

TreasureKY

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

The purpose of this thread is to explore a tangent I picked up from the "a thread on moderation" thread. I noted many of the regulars lamenting some sort of decline in collarme. Given that I happen to like this site I thought I'd ask for people's thoughts on this that are NOT related to moderation.

What has changed?
Do you have any thoughts for how to improve things?

Interesting thread, Jeff, though it's taken me bits and pieces of three days to read my way through. I'm glad I haven't gone anywhere near the "moderation" threads.

I think your goal of staying away from moderation gripes didn't go so well, but all things considered, it isn't surprising.

First, I've been here in the forums for about seven years now. As several have mentioned, in the 2005 to 2007 time frame, it did seem like things were much more active and interesting here... the "good ole days", as it were.

What has changed? I think it is a combination of many of those things already mentioned here... natural ebb and flow, participant turnover, disinterest (boring for some), too much moderation/not enough moderation, perceived cliques, etc.

Busy lives have kept Firm and I mostly away for the past year or so. That, and a bit of loss of interest... or maybe a change of interests. 2005 to 2007 may seem, in retrospect, a much more interesting time for me here in the forums simply because I was participating more.

Ultimately, I'm not sure there is anything we as posters can do to make improvements. In order to solve a problem, it has to be identified. In order to identify a problem, you have to have baseline in which to compare. Are "the good ole days" the baseline? That decision is up to the board owner... not me or any other poster.

Like any other well-run business, club or other organization, in order for everyone to be going in the same direction, there needs to be a clear goal (a mission statement, if you will), a good plan to get there, and competent leadership.

I don't know what CollarMe's primary goal or purpose is. Do you?

Is it education? Social networking? Discussions and debate? Casual chat? Promotion of the lifestyle? Events publication? Marketing opportunities to other life-stylers? Creative outlet?

I suspect it encompasses all those things, depending upon who you talk to. There are many different kinds of people here and they come for many different reasons. But can any one site be everything to everyone, and do it well?

With the different forum sections, CollarMe does a pretty decent job as it is. But in order to even consider improvements, we'd have to come to some kind of idea on what do we want CollarMe to be like.

Just my thoughts.

One small comment to needlesandpins....

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

have you never thought that maybe it's that persons actions you should be moderating, and not the people that call them out on it?

Please use the Report Post feature on this side or the various Report buttons on the other side.

I may be wrong, but I believe the point you might be missing is that it is not the job of posters to call out or correct other posters behavior. If another poster is behaving badly enough to bother you, report it to the admins (who DO have that job). Otherwise, just ignore them.

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