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Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:36:35 AM   
mew


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		....For "your" Master to do things behind your back such as, emailing old gf's, or talking to other women?  
As a slave, is it really none of your business if he does that, and keeps it a secret? 
 
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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:39:11 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Not sure what you mean by a secret...are you going through his stuff without his permission.  How do you know?

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:43:42 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mew
As a slave, is it really none of your business if he does that, and keeps it a secret? 


Are you a slave, or are you just playing at it?

Would it be appropriate for a field slave to go through the plantation master's personal letters to see if he were talking with old girlfriends?  Of course not...a slave is property.

Now, if your really just a girlfriend/wife that likes to call herself a slave, then what is appropriate is what you have worked out between the two of you, and you will get a lot better answers asking your boyfriend/husband than this (somewhat) random group of strangers.

Taggard


_____________________________

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:45:17 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		My first question would be, if He is keeping it a secret, how did you discover it? That says to Me, you may have been doing some looking where you should not have been--now given that--we are all human beings, we have relationships from the past that we maintain, classmates.com has of late been more active than usual and I hear at least once a day that someone's old flame has surfaced---as for talking to women--I hadn't noticed that the planet suddenly became empty of them..please do not take My words as sarcasm---it seems that there may be some trust issues in your relationship that have not been thoroughly worked out---I suggest two things: (A) examine why you felt the need to hmm find these things out and (B) how you could better understand from Master the parameters of your relationship.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:50:15 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: mew
As a slave, is it really none of your business if he does that, and keeps it a secret? 


Are you a slave, or are you just playing at it?

Would it be appropriate for a field slave to go through the plantation master's personal letters to see if he were talking with old girlfriends?  Of course not...a slave is property.

Now, if your really just a girlfriend/wife that likes to call herself a slave, then what is appropriate is what you have worked out between the two of you, and you will get a lot better answers asking your boyfriend/husband than this (somewhat) random group of strangers.

Taggard



Let's not start the slave discussion again, ugh. 

Whatever that particular couple's definition of the word is, is neither here nor there.

Taggard and bandit both make an excellent point...

How do you know, are you going through his stuff?

That said, I don't believe it's right for either partner to have secrets or lie.  You need to fess up to your snooping as much as he needs to set things straight with you.



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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:57:44 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		mew,
 
Has your Master agreed within your relationship to NOT have contact with other women?
 
If he has agreed and then does the opposite, then there's a serious trust issue.
 
However, I also wonder how you know he's doing this.
And if he is contacting other women, how do you know whats being said or done with these other women?
 
The fact that one of them is an ex girlfriend means nothing... I am still best friends with My ex husband of 12 years. Just this morning, I'm having a conversation with an ex girlfriend that lived in my home for six months last year. We're discussing meeting for lunch soon (we do that from time to time). I have contact with many exes because I'm one of those people who feels that just because a relationship isn't working, that dosen't mean we can't have a different relationship that allow us to enjoy the things we DO like in each other.
 
get a grip and ask HIM... just be prepared to really LISTEN to him and negotiate with him or leave him if you can't agree.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 5:59:40 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		One adult snooping thru another adults private affairs is just wrong. 

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:00:46 AM   
mew


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		Let me explain, briefly. 
 
I came here to live with Master 6 yrs ago as his slave.   The first 6 months were great, then things rapidly went downhill. I have been celebate for 5 yrs now, because I am fat and he is no longer interested in me sexually.   
 
He has many ex g/f's, and seems to not be able to let go of them.  Periodically all of them have contacted him, usually via email, and wanted to see him.  He has told me about it most of the time, and I usually get very upset.   There was a time a few yrs ago when I was so distraught due to his lying to me, that I did go through his email.  I found things that I wish I had never read.  Things he said to them that were very negative about me, and hurtful.    I would comfront him, he would get angry with me, tell me it was none of my business, etc. 
 
Last week another g/f emailed him, ( he told me about it) and wanted to come to our house for a visit, as she was coming to the area on business.   I told him I was uncomfortable with it, and would rather she not come.  He once again got angry, accusing me of being overly jealous, blah, blah, blah.  Things escelated to the point of me telling him I was leaving. 
 
I am a full time college student, and have only 10 months to go before I graduate.  Due to the importance of my education, I decided to stay and try and stick it out for 10 more months.    The ex g/f emailed us both and said that she was going to decline his invitation to visit because she did not want to get in the middle, and realized it made me uncomfortable.  
 
Of course he is disappointed.   I have NOT snooped in his stuff, but my gut instinct ( call it women's intuition) tells me that he emailed her last night, and that they are planning to meet anyway while she is here behind my back.   ( I have to do clinical rotations at the hospital and won't be home)
 
I have no proof of this, I just know my gut is not wrong.  If I ask him about this, he will lie to me, ( he has done it before), and then tell me I am accusing him of doing things he is not doing.  
 
So, I was just wondering if it is appropriate, or as a slave, is it really none of my business if he meets her behind my back, even though he knows it will upset me. 
( he believes that what I don't know, won't hurt me, so he purposefully does not tell me stuff to avoid an argument)
 
If as one of you stated, I am just a piece of property and not supposed to have any feelings, then I guess being a slave is not for me.   I haven't been living a slave life anyway for 5 yrs now.
 
~mew~

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:17:03 AM   
littlelostbunny


Posts: 141
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		(Fast Reply)

If you're truely unhappy, whether you're a slave or not, perhaps you should consider leaving. He doesn't seem like a good man, if he's lying, accusing you, and there's a trust issue involved. It seems abusive, to me.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:17:54 AM   
hidemyeyes


Posts: 39
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline 		i could be wrong about this, but from what i have read around here, master slave relationships seem to involve appreciation for each other on both parts, no matter how the master likes to treat the slave, they seem to appreciate them for wanting to belong to them the way they do. If what you are giving as a slave isnt being appreciated (and if you dont feel like you have been living like a slave for the last 5 years, bit doesnt sound like it is, or maybe its just not being shown) then why are you in this relationship? if you havent been living like a slave, what have you been doing for this man?

respectfully
hidemyeyes

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:21:51 AM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mew

....For "your" Master to do things behind your back such as, emailing old gf's, or talking to other women?  
As a slave, is it really none of your business if he does that, and keeps it a secret? 
 



I view this behavior as a lack of honesty and a breach of trust. 

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Dating sucks!

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:30:08 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you for the further information.

If you haven't been a slave for five years and you're just sticking it out until you've finished school, does it really matter what the hell he does?


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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:34:35 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

Okay I'm gonna get flamed for this I just KNOW it.... ~deep sigh~
 
You are unhappy.
 
You say you've BEEN unhappy/celibate/self conscious/ insecure for almost 5 1/2 years.
 
This guy says he dosen't want to be with you due to your body shape/size, etc. so presumably he's unhappy too.
 
Now relationships come in all shapes and sizes, BUT.....
 
"I am a full time college student, and have only 10 months to go before I graduate.  Due to the importance of my education, I decided to stay and try and stick it out for 10 more months." 
 
Seems to indicate that you are getting SOMETHING out of this relationship... Maybe financial stability? What's he getting?
 
Is this a case of mutually using each other? Because if it is, why come here and piss and moan? I'm being firm, not hateful by asking these questions.... If you are truly unhappy, leave him. If you choose to stay for the next 10 months, then suck it up and face your life's choices like a woman, not a victim.
 
Is it possible to simply become roommates without bringing the entire arrangement crashing to the ground? Seems like that would be more honest for both of you - no need to lie about dates and romantic entanglements that way. Perhaps that would be a relief to you and him?

< Message edited by Calandra -- 6/18/2006 6:35:42 AM >

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:35:59 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I gotta say, feastie, I was thinking the EXACT same thing.  What the hell?  Why does it matter?

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:40:12 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Ok, so let's cut to the chase here a bit--what kind of relationship DO you have---if you have been allowed to live as his slave for 5 years--what are the parameters of that relationship? It seems to Me that there are no sexual intimacies, yet I do not hear of any romantic ones either---if that is the case and you have been in service only, then He has every right to seek other relationships---and I might add, that you made the decision to stay another 10 months--it seems to Me He allowed you to stay as well---for any Master who has lost use of a slave can and does dismiss them.
 
What I see here, is either a lack of communication, or an unwillingness on your part to accept the situation---it seems He is trying to spare your feelings, but I do not see where there is any obligation of monogamy here.
 
I am sure My peers My have some differing feelings.

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:41:17 AM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Thank you for the further information.

If you haven't been a slave for five years and you're just sticking it out until you've finished school, does it really matter what the hell he does?



Just have to agree - what does it matter at all?


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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:43:19 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		i'd go ballistic, but that said.. im not a slave, and well, he has sex with me.  i guess i just dont understand why you would be upset in the first place unless your concern is just trying to get your education finished.

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"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:46:22 AM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mew

I haven't been living a slave life anyway for 5 yrs now.
 
~mew~


In that case, this really falls under the heading of  "venting" and seeking validation than it does a question, doesn't it?

But in answer to the original thread title, I'd say, maybe.   I'm pretty liberal in terms of how I view definitions about what is what and how those covered should behave.   So, I don't require that to be a slave one must follow the model of the Middle East, The Old South, byzantine slavery, Roman slavery, or even (holds nosw) Gorean slavery.

If the two people involved negotiate or agree that whatever it is they have is enslavement, and it falls within certian boundries of responsibility, surrender, I won't fuss about what they call it.  That being said, what is or is not over the line would depend on where they drew their lines. 
However.  If dishonesty  is involved, then I don't care what either Master or slave call it to try and justify their actions.
And if asked, I'd tell them I considered them in breach of their agreement, and they had better figure out what they where going to call themselves next, because Master and slave no longer apply.


_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:56:43 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Feastie, why do I always end up siding with you?

You're a smart girl....  unfortunately, you're not a Domme, or I'd be a'humping your leg!

Yours,


benji

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RE: Is it appropiate..... - 6/18/2006 6:59:59 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		You state that you haven't been a slave for more than 5 years now....yet you still refer to him as Master? 6 years and only the first 6 months were fulfilling?

What I don't understand about your post and others that are in similar situations is why anyone would think so little of themselves that they would literally waste 5+ years of their life (or any amount of life) on beating an obviously dead horse. Is it because you don't feel that you deserve better? can find better? lack the drive or motivation to seek better? Why????

I don't understand because my life is precious to me. Once I come to the conclusion that I am at a dead end, I am not willing to waste so much as another hour of it....I can't imagine voluntarily throwing away years of it.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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