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RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/20/2013 11:49:46 PM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		I think the only time a man faked with me I knew (although I was polite enough to say). It really did feel different from when he did orgasm. Body temperature did not rise as much, other signs not there.

I have never faked. It probably makes me very dull. No floor show. The closer I am the more silent I go like wanting to be in a totally isolated dark place entirely into yourself, like giving birth, almost a solo act even with a man there not that I would major on describing that aspect with a man either as I am sure they like to think you are thinking about nothing but them.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

it is not uncommon for women not to be able to feel a man climax. It is already slick inside and the average man only ejaculates about a tablespoon in volume. I do not feel the ejaculate but I do feel the quickening pulse, the rise in speed and near desperation that happens when he cums. I have known a few men who admit to faking orgasm and no one but them was the wiser.
As far as loss of feeling inside, most of the nerve endings are at the mouth.

Raises hand as a guy who successfully faked one before


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/20/2013 11:50:51 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
I almost never hear any mention of this around these parts.

Oh, this one was easy!

Females on this site can be divided into roughly 2 groups, that being those who lean toward dominance, and those who lean toward submission. Yes, gross exaggeration, there are switches who are perfectly in the middle, and there are some vanilla folk here, and so forth. But by far the 2 largest groups among females are those on the D side and those on the s side.

The subbie girls may not always cum, but they don't tend to bitch and complain as much about not getting their needs taken care of.
The dominant women tend to either be capable of using their submissive partners to achieve the orgasms they want, or they don't make a huge public deal about it if it doesn't happen.

That's probably at least partially why you don't hear many females complaining about lack of orgasms, around these parts.

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RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 1:18:04 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I see where you are going, Witty, but I don't think it's the whole picture.

Let's say that you are at least partially right. The Dominant women are in the position to tell their male sexual partners what to do, what they are allowed to do, etc, etc. We're also talking about dynamics that include chastity, cuckolding, some who aren't allowed to penetrate at all, and all of the fun that we get up to.

For submissive women, there's orgasm denial, lack of permission, blow job on demand where they may not receive as often as they give, the sexual use theory, on and on. On top of that, there is also the obedience factor, where if Master says that their sex life isn't allowed for discussion on these forums, then they may not be talking about it here.

Still, there are some women who just plain aren't comfortable with discussion (for lack of a better term) of performance review. Even here, where folks are doing their best to choose non-threatening terms, what do we call it? Achieving an orgasm. Almost as though it's a way to be rated and graded. Like it's some kind of thing that a person should be "good enough" in bed to be able to hit the bar. This isn't even a frame of mind that is original in the kink world. Vanilla women do it, too.

To put this in perspective, how many guys do you see adding onto threads that are discussing ED? When a thread about erectile dysfunction comes up, how many guys come along after the OP has posted to discuss their past problems? It's very few. When we start talking about a long term situation, there aren't a lot of men who admit that they have issues. Same thing with topics like low sperm count or difficulty in conceiving. There aren't a lot of guys out there who are willing to stand up and talk about their own sexual obstacles. Why? Because most males take a hit in the ego when it doesn't happen on their end. It's supposed to be the most natural and easiest thing in the world, right?

When you look at it like that, it's no surprise that people who are having issues with orgasms aren't speaking up.




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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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Profile   Post #: 103
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 7:54:54 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It's supposed to be the most natural and easiest thing in the world, right?

When you look at it like that, it's no surprise that people who are having issues with orgasms aren't speaking up.



Oh yes. Just a mechanical problem - never more than that. As I recall it, the discussion of non-orgasm in men came up once, a while ago. The solution was simple: wank less hard. End of discussion. Whew.


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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 11:28:10 AM   
CliMaxMaster


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/18/2012
Status: offline 		chemistry & understanding the female erogenous zones are always helpfull, some men are alot better then others at making women Cumm....

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 11:38:34 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CliMaxMaster

chemistry & understanding the female erogenous zones are always helpfull, some men are alot better then others at making women Cumm....


There are men who make more effort to get to know their partners, or care more about their partner's pleasure, but I don't think some men have some special ability that makes them better at making women 'Cumm'.



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RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 12:50:11 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I am someone who finds O-s to be elusive at times.

Personally I have to guard against feeling as if i am a failure if I can't get quite there.
He knows that I feel frustrated with myself at times and is good at guiding me through that.

Orgasms are usually very emotional.

And for me, sometimes medication is the impediment.

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Profile   Post #: 107
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 1:19:43 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		It is essentially, a giant muscle spasm, it requires "letting go", in what for women, are often fairly high risk circumstances, i.e., there are factors other than whether you're gonna cumm or not possibly fighting for priority interrupt, and that might be an issue in some cases I imagine.

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Profile   Post #: 108
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 1:25:53 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Meds have a lot to do with it. The one and only time I could not cum was when I was on a type of medication. As soon as I was off it, I was good to go again.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 2:46:56 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		That too.

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Profile   Post #: 110
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/21/2013 7:25:29 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I remember the first time I told Master I just couldn't orgasm one night. I was afraid he would be angry or hurt. That was always my experience in the past and why I rarely if ever mentioned it with past partners. With the ex-Dom I mentioned it and it became an all out fight and after that he pretty much stopped fucking me.

Thankfully Master just said, "that's ok. I got mine." He didn't get angry, he didn't get hurt. I didn't bruise his ego. For me that really made me feel that I didn't have to always orgasm with him, that he wasn't going to get upset about it. He just kinda shrugged it off and it was no big deal.

Lately though, yeah that elusive orgasm has not been a problem whatsoever.

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Profile   Post #: 111
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 4:39:03 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I think most american women are horribly repressed and carry the stuff too far.  I have found that in Europe and Scandinavia women are really fuckin happy to be women.

Yeah, I did notice that the European countries I've been to had a healthier view of sexuality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cordeliasub
I like the last part of that statement and agree completely. Here in the US we women were so busy telling ourselves that men were as useful for us as bicycles were for fish...we have forgotten how to be WOMEN. Add to the "I want to be a man" the whole fundamentalist "it's a sin" thing...and yeah, I think it is harder for us to let go.

And I would never burn my bras - they are all waaaaaaay too pretty

It's not just a fundamentalist thing, even in the 50's shame of female sexuality was the dominant cultural standard. Today those sentiments that a woman should be ashamed of her sexuality still linger in US culture.

As for feminism, I can't say that I've ever seen someone actually hold the opinion you're talking about. Perhaps there's an unhealthy sub group out there somewhere but it's not a norm I've ever experienced. Furthermore, the data I've seen shows an inverse correlation between the achievements of feminism and anorgasmia.

In other words it appears as though bra burning = orgasms.

(in reply to cordeliasub)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 6:55:39 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassAct2006

I think the only time a man faked with me I knew


I've actually faked it a few times - but she didn't care. She just wanted it over. Sigh.

(in reply to ClassAct2006)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 9:10:14 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I know just as many females in bdsm who say they have not had orgasms or infrequently as I do "vanillas" so imo it has nothing to do with it.


I wonder if your click in both bdsm and nilla isn't more conservative than average and more prone to anorgasmia as a result.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 2:37:25 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I know just as many females in bdsm who say they have not had orgasms or infrequently as I do "vanillas" so imo it has nothing to do with it.


I wonder if your click in both bdsm and nilla isn't more conservative than average and more prone to anorgasmia as a result.


Funny-she is sooooo completely a clique of one.

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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 3:43:43 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I know just as many females in bdsm who say they have not had orgasms or infrequently as I do "vanillas" so imo it has nothing to do with it.


I wonder if your click in both bdsm and nilla isn't more conservative than average and more prone to anorgasmia as a result.



Apparently I'm not the only one who feels that way and has seen the same thing. Did you read the thread?


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Profile   Post #: 116
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 4:35:55 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Did you read the thread?


Yes did you?

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Profile   Post #: 117
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 4:40:58 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Yup. We obviously do not read the same words. <shrug> Whatever.


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 118
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/22/2013 9:34:08 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Amongst my vanilla friends, when the conversation turns towards sex, it's pretty common for a woman to say she's never had an orgasm, or doesn't usually have one when they're having sex, or has them only in a very specific position, or from oral.



I've never known a single woman who's never had an orgasm. Or at least no woman who's ever known me can say that :)

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: The elusive female orgasm - 2/23/2013 12:37:40 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		One of the best exchanges from the movie "When Harry Met Sally".

Harry: I think they have an OK time.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: What do you mean how do I know? I know.
Sally: Because they...
Harry: Yes, because they...
Sally: And how do you know that they really...
Harry: What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?
Sally: It's possible.
Harry: Get outta here!
Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well they haven't faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because I know.
Sally: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.
Harry: What is that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.
Harry: You don't think that I could tell the difference?
Sally: No.
Harry: Get outta here.
[Sally begins to fake an orgasm]
Harry: Are you OK?
[Sally continues very audibly, attracting the attention of nearly every customer in the cafe. Afterwards, she returns to eating her dessert]
Older Woman Customer: [to waiter] I'll have what she's having.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 120
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