njlauren
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Joined: 10/1/2011
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Back to the original topic:
I think in many ways these are better times, I can see clear reasons to say so. The internet in some way has been a curse, it has spawned a whole cyber community of wankers, trolls, and people who think because they read forums they know the right and proper way to do things, when they probably don't know which end of a flogger is which, but drive others up the wall (I don't even like that kind of attitude from people who do have experience, let alone wankers). The internet makes it easier to meet people, but it also means it is a lot easy for people to screw themselves up in meeting people who might not be kosher (yeah, back in the bad old days, there were personal ads that could get you into trouble, but they took effort to put out there, get responses, etc......bit different then trolling craigslist and so forth). On the other hand, if someone really wants information, there is a ton of information on the net that wasn't there back in the day, you want to find out something, you can, with a bit of searching. Again, you may have to cull through the crap, the stupid and the downright plain dangerous, but at least it is there, if for anything that there are other people like you. Like any tool, the internet can be used to enhance or hurt, but it still makes life easier as someone into bd/sm then it once was, also broke the hold of the idiotic "old guard' crap.
Too, I think attitudes have changed pretty rapidly, though it isn't perfect (talk to someone from NCSF about that). I think awareness is there among many people, things like 50 shades of gray and other e-books, have opened some eyes to what is out there, even if to those reading it it may still be a fantasy thing (not everyone who reads these books needs to run out and buy rope)........it is like something I ran into years ago, there was a lot of debate among trans folks about whether the talk shows covering the topic was good or bad (and given the sensationalized nature, it often was a less then positive thing), but then once with a friend I ran into these two old women, and they were like "Oh, I saw something about trans folks on XYZ show, it is really good that finally people can be themselves, live as they need to, I had never even thought about what it must be like to be like someone who is transgender"). It takes it from the realm of "oh my god" to "Hey, I read the book X, and it was pretty interesting". If it is in people's consciousness and it was presented in a somewhat positive fashion (as opposed to having the image shaped by religious groups or conservative politicians out for another victim to crucify).
More importantly, perhaps because of the net and broader information being out there, younger people, those 30 and under, simply are less and less likely to care what others do, they already are much, much more affirming of LGBT people, and most of them tend to be pretty libertarian about issues, that as long as it doesn't affect them, who cares). No, not all young people are going to be affirming, those who grew up in religious conservative households, the ones who don't run away from it as soon as they can, won't be great, and education plays a large role, as well, so even there you can run into idiots.
That doesn't mean it is a panacea, it just indicates that as time goes on, as the religious conservatives of all kinds continue to lose their power, and as the older generations die off, it is likely to get better. These days, I think it is a lot more likely that being outed as into BD/SM is going to cause real damage, that is getting better, but doesn't mean it is perfect. There are employers who will fire employees they find out about, there are places where CPS can be called if parents are found to be into BD/SM, there are people who if they find out will think it is their duty to gossip about them and otherwise be assholes, but it is definitely getting better. I know of a couple of cases in this area (NY/NJ Metro region) where spouses tried to introduce evidence of BD/SM into divorce proceedings, and the courts refused to take it into account in terms of custody and such (unless someone could show that for example, the person involved had done something stupid, like involved the kid in it, let them see certain things,which BTW would be true of anything sexual, not a great idea to have sex in front of the young 'ins.
I think that wider acceptance will come as more and more people come out of the closet, so to speak, and with publicizing that people into this are their next door neighbors. One of the reasons the religious ding dong's want to censor the net, are constantly throwing threats of boycotts about tv programs and books and programs of tolerance in schools towards LGBT people, is they know that ignorance and hate only flourishes in environments where the truth is not out there. One piece of conventional wisdom is very true, that people who have known or been exposed to gay people or even gay characters are much more likely to be accepting then those who never has. The religious right promulgates the idea that LGBT people are all pederasts, sexually promiscuous and so forth, that gay parents can't raise kids properly, and they do everything in their power to make sure that is the only view out there; but when people see the gay couple next door with the kids (male or female), when they see the cousin or whatever, they start realizing the haters are the fucked up ones. Young people, thanks to the fact that the religious nazi's and their politician allies have failed, are knowledgeable in large numbers, and that is the future. With BD/SM, I think it is going to be the same thing, that people into it, not everyone, but people have to be visible and talking about themselves, through a variety of media. I am not saying everyone should go an out themselves, or make themselves targets, I am saying that the more we get this out there, that people put faces to it, you get rid of the bad stereotypes. People willing to do that are brave sorts and deserve any kudos they get, people in past decades who were brave enough to come out openly as LGBT were much the same, and it is effective:). If for anything, with all the problems in the world, real issues, like jobs, healthcare, competing against third world labor, environment concerns, which bitch is going to be kicked of one of the 'real housewives of xxx' series (okay, maybe for the gay guys who watch these programs it is important *lol*), it is that people have stopped caring about whom sleeps with whom, what position they use, and so forth, and the people who do care about such things (generally the uber religious types, like the RC leadership) are more and more marginalized.
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RE: Have times changed for the better for BDSM? - 
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