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Thomas Paine once said something I think was profound, that intolerance and tolerance both were equally bad. He said with intolerance, a person took on the right to judge what others were doing, find it lacking, and then decide the right to make their lives a living hell, restrict them and so forth. He said that the tolerant person reserved the right to judge what others were doing, perhaps find it lacking, but decided they didn't have the right to interfere. He said the problem wasn't the action, that it was in the person deciding they had the right to judge where the problem came in, and both were equally guilty. Obviously, it is preferable if you are the one being judged that people be tolerant, but it would be better if people simply respected your right to live as you wish and not judge it.......among other things, tolerant people are not that likely to stand up for the rights of those trampled by those who are intolerant...lots of people claim to be tolerant towards gay people, but a lot of them won't lift a finger to help gays by, for example, voting against a same sex marriage ban, or worse, voting for it while claiming tolerance but saying 'it is wrong'.....

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

On this particular night, there were two males who happened to be "new". Roughly the same age, etc. One guy did really well in that social setting, met and chatted with people, and had a great time. The other was just the opposite. Even after the evening, when posts were being made thanking the host the next day and so forth, the comments from these two guys were like night and day. They had completely different perceptions of how it turned out for them, even though they were in the same room with the same people.

So, I'm not so quick to say that 'people who fall in group X' aren't treated well. Sometimes, there can be people in group X that do just fine when another member of group X doesn't. More often than not, I find it was the individual who happened to belong to group X that doesn't have the same strengths as the others in that category. Of course, it isn't all that often that you'll hear the individual say that they need to work on being interesting to talk to or how they can improve their socialization skills. It's just plain easier to blame the other people in the room.

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ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I was thinking to myself how fortunate I am to be living in 2013 and not 1813.I can't even imagine what a "sub" would have to go through back then.Now,in modern time,alot has changed since then.With the invention of the internet,like minded people can literally talk to each other from around the world in a matter of seconds.Thats amazing.Plus,society(here in the USA)has slowly started to accept BDSM as a way of life.

While I do believe there is alot of room for improvement,I am certainly glad I am living in modern times.

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ORIGINAL: egern

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ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I was thinking to myself how fortunate I am to be living in 2013 and not 1813.I can't even imagine what a "sub" would have to go through back then.Now,in modern time,alot has changed since then.With the invention of the internet,like minded people can literally talk to each other from around the world in a matter of seconds.Thats amazing.Plus,society(here in the USA)has slowly started to accept BDSM as a way of life.

While I do believe there is alot of room for improvement,I am certainly glad I am living in modern times.

At the very least both being gay and being into bdsm is no longer an illness in either UK or many other countries, and that is a big step forward.

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ORIGINAL: Charles6682

There are anti-discrimination laws where I live here in Pinellas County,Florida.In the local Pinellas County "Office of Human Rights",there are many laws to protect many people from legal discrimination,including laws protecting people of "Sexual Orientation".That particular law only applies to Pinellas County as Florida does not have laws protecting people of "Sexual Orientation" on a state wide level.Some other cities and counties may have simliar protections.Pinellas County just also recently legalized "Domestic Partnership" for any couple,gay or straight.That is a big deal for this part of Florida.

The question I have is this.Would "Sexual Orientation" also cover aspects of BDSM?For example,can a "Dom" or "Sub" be protected under these type of laws too,such as laws to protect people due to "Sexual Orientation"?

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ORIGINAL: Jayden2U

Time has not helped this lifestyle it has diminished it. What happened to protocols, respect, and discipline?

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ORIGINAL: egern
I guess attitudes vary with different places and countries. US, as I understand it, is what we would see as fiercely individualistic and what happens to you is your own responsibility.

Scandinavia is somewhat different. I my organization, it was the duty of the club to make new people welcome and make them feel safe, not least women, but basically everybody. A special person was always assigned that duty, but in general people were aware that there were new members present and acted accordingly. At some point we had a specific 'new-member evening', and it worked just fine.

After such an intro evening, people would be on their own.

As I see the world, it is a matter of about 50-50 - how you yourself behave, and how other people behave. I have been in places where you'd need a wedge and a big hammer to get into any of the close-knit cliques, and I am an outgoing person.

The ratio femdoms/subs and maledoms/femsubs might also play a role.

Leonine informs me that in his fet group in UK, they have a met-and-greet system for new people, and that this is fairly typical for UK meetings.

So in my view the many mails about that he does not really have a problem or if he does, it is probably his own fault, means that people are not listening or given anyone the benefit of any doubt, which, I think, strengthens his case.