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SacredDepravity -> RE: home birth in chains (3/22/2013 4:06:23 PM)
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Jeff and Carol:
I just wanted to pop back in on this thread to kind of address your posts a bit. Two things are for sure. Many in this modern world definitely overshelter their children. Dirt and germs and the occasional boo boo are good for kids. And for sure, the US is WAAAAAY uptight about sexual stuff. Poor Janet Jackson was villified for how long for accidently displaying a *gasp* nipple on national tv and this was such a big, fat, hairy deal because, "What if a child saw that! They'd be scarred for life!" I wanted to freaking puke.
Sadly, none of that actually has anything to do with this conversation. We have government agencies with carte blanc power in very personal parts of our lives here. The matter of should a child be witness to such things is pretty much moot since such powers that be have determined they shouldn't. CPS, the courts, and the police have great latitude to investigate and disrupt families. Anybody and everybody that's supposed to be a bound by confidentiality helping professional (teachers, doctors, coaches, counselors, ministers, etc.) are actually also duty bound to report anything they find suspect to CPS and other appropriate agencies and often are also subject to blanket reporting policies that treat all kinds of not even remotely similar situations in the same way. Under this condition, I simply would not risk any avenue for someone to claim they have grounds to come in and take my kids. I don't care if it should be my right to live as I please or if I think there's nothing wrong with what I am doing. My kids don't have to pay the price for my social, moral, or political outrage. People posting are simply looking at the situation and trying to warn the OP what the police, CPS, and the courts are going to do should something happen that or word get out that they are engaging in these things the way they are. I can tell you now, if something goes wrong with that delivery and the first responders discover chains or that they had been used by marks on her body, there WILL be an investigation at least into the midwife and her practices if not also whether or not this woman was held against her will and whether or not it lead to any negative outcomes. In the course of this investigation, the children may be interviewed (without their parents anywhere around) and say something that then spawns a CPS investigation. It's just the way of things at this time.
As far as showing her submissiveness, I think that happens in many ways all the time. Would agree that accepting his decision to not allow her the chains would be equally submissive as wearing the chains had he agreed to it? Who will be watching over her and making many, if not all, of the decisions for her through labor, the delivery, and after when it is not a strictly a medical call the midwife can and should make? There are so many other ways. I just can't see doing something that has so many potentially negative consequences.
Things may go great. Wonderful! And all this was for naught. I had a friend who had his wife die in labor (in a hospital) and dealt with a lot of guilt over some of the decisions they made together and he made on her behalf when she was incompacitated. I don't want this to be one of those things for the OP if complications should arise.
This post was strictly to your points. I have stated my concerns in other posts and didn't really have much to do with displaying submissiveness or bdsm-y stuff around the kids beyond watching what little eyes see since little mouths have no filter. I choose to keep it all under wraps around here. That's the choice I made for me and mine. That doesn't mean others can't successfully raise well adjusted kids another way. Safety concerns me about the chaining both in labor and when home alone with the children. That's fairly legitimate. I am sure that people do this and nothing bad ever happens. It's just too damn late when the unexpected happens. And, boy, I sure wouldn't want to look back and know that I was warned and ignored it just to do life my way. That would be a fate worse than death as far as I'm concerned.
SD
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