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RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/12/2013 5:38:08 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

The OP's profile has 85 rules for a slave.

It goes right back to one of my favorite quotes: Some people, you wonder why they're single. Others, not so much.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 61

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/12/2013 6:05:57 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Imo, one is not a Master till they have someone to Master. Otherwise you're a Dom. If you have a dominant personality but it doesn't matter to you if think in bdsm or vanilla terms, then imo, you're a dominant.

And if you're just into playing and being the one on top then you're a top.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to hrxxx)

Post #: 62

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/12/2013 6:15:05 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx
What do you see yourself as Master / Mistress, Dominant / Domina. And are you a slave or submissive

I'm a natural born leader married to a woman who "prefers to defer". I generally use the M/s label set to start out with because of the TPE, IE nature of our marriage.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to hrxxx)

Post #: 63

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/12/2013 6:53:27 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Can a karate masters knowledge leave him? Can he ever be without his Mastery? No. But a guy can be lord over an empty home with no chick to play slave.

That a person doesn't have someone to master does not make him or her less masterful. It makes him or her a master w/o a slave. He(she) retains the skills of good leadership, self control, and self mastery. These things don't evaporate when s-type goes off to work his or her real job. Which is why *I* believe a good dominant is a good dominant, with or without an s-type.

I also prefer the term dominant instead of master, although I have used the term and sometimes do in my current relationship. The thing is, the term Master does not define who and what we are and how and why we do things. It is also a term that far too many imbue with all kinds of 'specialness.' It's become the new mantra, like 'submission is a gift.'

Edited b/c the original seemed highly sexist once I reread it. Now it's close to slashy type. AH well.

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 6/12/2013 7:17:43 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)

Post #: 64

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 7:33:07 AM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I just want to Applaud Stevens well thought out, informative response.

OP - you would do well to listen and learn.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 65

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 7:37:44 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I'm going to steal this line. TY

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Punishment is the weakest of tools, inspiration and love the most powerful.

I would agree with this if we inserted "usually". Disecting this a bit, punishment is actually a very, very strong tool. The problem with it is that it comes with a price tag that's sort of nasty. Usually negative incentives bring in resentment toward the leader. So if you punish someone you need to "pay up" or over time you lose them. If, for some reason, the follower doesn't build up the resentment or the leader provides sufficient good things to keep a positive balance then punishment is very, very effective.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 66

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 7:41:07 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

THATS THE THING, I DON´T CARE

Hmm. Do you think that is the kind of thing a "Master" would say?

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to hrxxx)

Post #: 67

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 7:43:20 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

I've kind of held off on responding to this largely because of my handle. I consider myself a Dom more than "Master", and I actually intended my handle to be "Mister Caneman", but I neglected to check my work before hitting the 'accept' button. But I do accept the term when it comes to being in charge, either in the bedroom or in the real world. I have held positions of authority, and I am a master of certain things, so I'm content to let things sit as they are (and at 1200+ posts, I'm not scrubbing it and starting over. Period.)

Let me break down on my philosophy on this subject. I am not putting down others who live this lifestyle 24/7 in any respect, but I have always considered The Scene to be nothing more than a particularly rewarding hobby and recreational activity. For me and my partners, with the exception of two who wanted much more than I could give them, this was the dynamic. The ladies I interacted with liked playing, but there was a definite 'end time' for a scene. To live the life the way some folks do would become burdensome to me. I definitely put up a wall between my kink and the real world. This has served me well over the years.

I consider myself a controlled, thoughtful, powerful, and sane man. I prefer being the top dog in any situation I'm in, but am smart enough to know when to bend. In the bedroom (or dungeon, if you prefer), I am in charge, but not to the point my partner starts to rethink her decision to consent. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of someone out of control, and I constantly check myself to avoid that.

Master? Dominant? To me, they're an interchangeable title. Others may disagree, and it's their right to do so. I am content with myself the way I am.

I may not agree with this in its entirety, but it's still a quality post.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 68

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 8:30:14 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

I'm not going to go into the difference between a Dom and a Master, other to say that my definitions line up mostly with LP's and not at with Steven's (in fact, we're linearly opposed on this point, but he knows that, and it's mostly a background issue).

What I think is interesting to get into, is how I define the difference between a free person, and a not free person, using the OPs profile as an example.

To me, a free person is somebody who is capable of making their own choices, is responsible for their own decisions, and who doesn't expects others to give them what they should earn.

A not free person expects to be given what they did not earn, doesn't take accountability for their own choices, and is so heavily influenced by their environment that they're incapable of detaching their decisions from it.

From the OPs profile:

quote:

2. I give my master the right to have power over me.

-

13. I will respect my master.

-

28. I will not think of others lustfully.

-

38. I will blindly trust my master.

-

84. I will respect my master and Master's rules.

This is the profile of somebody who seeks to be given that which free people would seek to earn.

This is the profile of somebody not accountable for their own choices, who would seek to put the responsibility for the choice with others, by getting them to agree to absurd and unfollowable rules so that when things fail, they can put the responsibility for that failure with the slave, instead of with their own failure to inspire.

This is the profile of somebody so heavily influences by their environment, that they are incapable of making choices not dictated by it, as is evident by the attempt to seize that which they notice in those who are capable of attracting and keeping slaves by agreement, rather than merit.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the profile of a person who isn't free... i.e. in Gorean terminology, this is the profile of a slave.

*bows*

Hereby our exemplifying lecture is concluded and I wish you all a good day.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 6/13/2013 8:33:33 AM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to hrxxx)

Post #: 69

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 9:11:46 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I'm going to steal this line. TY

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Punishment is the weakest of tools, inspiration and love the most powerful.

I would agree with this if we inserted "usually". Disecting this a bit, punishment is actually a very, very strong tool. The problem with it is that it comes with a price tag that's sort of nasty. Usually negative incentives bring in resentment toward the leader. So if you punish someone you need to "pay up" or over time you lose them. If, for some reason, the follower doesn't build up the resentment or the leader provides sufficient good things to keep a positive balance then punishment is very, very effective.

Well, I kinda figured this was in the context of a quality adult relationship.

As for details, both 3lb sledgehammers and 3oz tackdrivers have their uses...

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 70

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 2:52:08 PM

AlluraVogue

Posts: 41
Joined: 6/6/2013
Status: offline

Mental image that came with reading this thread: All of us in a coffee shop, wearing various different colors and stripes on karate belts.

Random.

(in reply to hrxxx)

Post #: 71

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 4:03:02 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Actually, many of have hung out.

JeffBC and I used to have coffee together and laugh over posts

Nueva Vida and Bita Trouble and I have met any number of times

Lady Pact n I spent a drunken evening at Mercnbeths arguing over leather

A lot of others I have met like Mercbeth, Steele who gave up on this place

Many others I know people in real life who have met them in real life

(in reply to AlluraVogue)

Post #: 72

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 4:09:23 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Yeah, it was still like pulling teeth.

(I was actually waiting to see if you were going to have issues with the definitions I had on the matter.)

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 73

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 4:16:05 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

I don't bother with the difference between a dom and a master. I'm only concerned with people who know the difference between fantasy and reality and those who don't. From the OP's comments here and profile, I'd put him in the latter category.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 74

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 5:16:10 PM

LeatherBentOne51

Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline

OP is beyond words therefore I remain silent.

LBO51

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 75

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 7:22:39 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Actually, many of have hung out.

JeffBC and I used to have coffee together and laugh over posts

Nueva Vida and Bita Trouble and I have met any number of times

Lady Pact n I spent a drunken evening at Mercnbeths arguing over leather

A lot of others I have met like Mercbeth, Steele who gave up on this place

Many others I know people in real life who have met them in real life

Just wanted to add that UllrsIshtar and her Dom/husband had dinner with me and my sub a while back.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 76

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 8:07:22 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Actually, many of have hung out.

JeffBC and I used to have coffee together and laugh over posts

Nueva Vida and Bita Trouble and I have met any number of times

Lady Pact n I spent a drunken evening at Mercnbeths arguing over leather

A lot of others I have met like Mercbeth, Steele who gave up on this place

Many others I know people in real life who have met them in real life

Just wanted to add that UllrsIshtar and her Dom/husband had dinner with me and my sub a while back.

Yeah we did, had a great time, should do that again if I can ever again make it out of this pit-hole of a town that universe has trapped me in to punish me for all my years of partying and living live fabulously.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 77

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 8:20:56 PM

RandysBitch

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Status: offline

No adjustment, we were perfect from the 1st day we met.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 78

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 9:47:09 PM

hrxxx

Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrucking

really wow you do not really know what a Master is really that's why this is a site for fakes !! A master is raised a Dom is self taught

Yes you are right, ther is a lot of fakes her, and that also meens ther is a lot of fake comments on this board.

(in reply to Slavetrucking)

Post #: 79

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. - 6/13/2013 9:53:18 PM

BambiBoi

Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrucking

really wow you do not really know what a Master is really that's why this is a site for fakes !! A master is raised a Dom is self taught

Yes you are right, ther is a lot of fakes her, and that also meens ther is a lot of fake comments on this board.

Hrxxx,

I apologize for my first interaction with you. I was dismissive of you because I felt it would help in defense of a friend. In turn, you made some comments that were less than respectful, but well deserved. I'm willing to put the past behind me if you are. Maybe we can start over?

I think the difference between a master and a dominant is that a master has risen to a level of meta-understanding about the field. It is apparent that a master can teach others from his or her experience. I take it you disagree. Why do you disagree?

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to hrxxx)

Post #: 80

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