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RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:23:56 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

I also believe from many things I have heard, read and people I have known... not from personal experience because I don't have the freedom or the desire to go to events other than a munch or meeting with friends, that there are findoms and prodoms at these in person meetings of whatever kind. I know some of them and have heard of many others here in the states and elsewhere. They just may not be presenting as they would online or on their websites, blogs, etc. because it isn't as appropriate wherever they might be in person.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 21

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:26:19 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
A great many meet online. A recent thread suggested that online meetings can lead to relationships and long term relationships. With one out of five couples meeting online, I think it is a disservice to suggest that the only way to meet real people, for real experiences or relationships, don't or rarely happen online.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4449523/mpage_1/tm.htm

Not only do we basically point at one another, those of us that have met, have made friends, contacts and play partners in various relationships online, right here on the forums... aren't we saying... you aren't real enough in some sense and diminishing the potential? Some of the couples I respect the most... met online and a number of them right here at CM. There are real people doing real things with sincere basics, right here.

The funny part about that is where I heard the same thing about the "one out of five couples" quote. It was from a tv ad about a paid member dating site. Can't say I remember which one.

Even if I found it was a reliable estimate, (which it might be, I honestly have no idea) it still says that 80% of folks meet via other methods. I think it's similar to a business that says they get 20% of their customers from their radio advertising slots, but their skipping the part that 80% of their customers come to them from other sources. It's not saying drop the radio advertising. It says that other methods work, too.

In doing research for a new book.. I am seeing research results that confirm as well as it can be confirmed in my opinion, that one out of five couples are meeting online and I haven't even touched the dating sites.

I am rather busy and am just taking a break, but if I can come back with some links, I will.

1 in three couples: http://www.parade.com/19577/viannguyen/1-in-3-american-married-couples-met-online/ This article was based on the findings from National Academy of Sciences.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=scientific-flaws-online-dating-sites From Scientific American

< Message edited by Rawni -- 7/11/2013 4:36:13 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 22

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:29:35 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

I also believe from many things I have heard, read and people I have known... not from personal experience because I don't have the freedom or the desire to go to events other than a munch or meeting with friends, that there are findoms and prodoms at these in person meetings of whatever kind. I know some of them and have heard of many others here in the states and elsewhere. They just may not be presenting as they would online or on their websites, blogs, etc. because it isn't as appropriate wherever they might be in person.

Yes, there are pro-dommes and fin Dommes at local events. But, I've never once seen a woman demand a tribute before speaking to a submissive. It's a different approach in real life. It's spoken about, it's negotiated. It isn't demanded before the first word has been spoken.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 23

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:35:45 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Granted, it seems like every other person is looking for easy money...some of that, I think, is the format. You probably have a better chance of meeting women who are looking for more than money if you go to events & get to meet people in the community... In business, we network..same idea here, you meet people who know other people...

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 24

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:38:26 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

I did say they may be presenting differently online than in person. I am not disputing anything anyone is saying, just saying everything that happens here or there is here and there. That online meetings are a viable source of connection.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 25

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:40:18 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Rawni, I'd be interested in those links, if you should happen to have the time. I'm honestly not disputing that there are a lot of couples who meet that way. Plenty of folks from the forums have. Since I just saw a profile yesterday saying how wonderful the guy felt because he had just joined up with "Mystress World" (yeah, no kidding

) and found his perfect relationship (

) I wonder how many of those kinds of situations are included.

(To the general reader, no, I'm not bashing the kink or online relationships. Mystress World has a crap reputation no matter how you slice it.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Yes, there are pro-dommes and fin Dommes at local events. But, I've never once seen a woman demand a tribute before speaking to a submissive. It's a different approach in real life. It's spoken about, it's negotiated. It isn't demanded before the first word has been spoken.

I'd have to say that is My experience, too. I'd have to look to see if it's still in the by-laws, but one of the groups that I used to belong to (still sort of am/Grandfathered in) used to have it included that no financial transactions could be conducted during group events/parties.

ETA - Thanks for the links, Rawni. One was funded by E-Harmony and the other I couldn't access due to not being a member.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 7/11/2013 4:44:16 PM >

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(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 26

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:42:05 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

ROFL... I hear you LP. As I go along with my research, if I find something that doesn't give away what all I am researching, I will try to remember to get some other links.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 27

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 4:51:27 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

I did say they may be presenting differently online than in person. I am not disputing anything anyone is saying, just saying everything that happens here or there is here and there. That online meetings are a viable source of connection.

I believe that too. But the OP is claiming that what he is encountering on websites is the general state of the lifestyle and the internet isn't the "lifestyle", it's a networking tool.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 28

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 5:03:40 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I know I am absolutely, positively disgusted with financial Dommes. Cause only men are dumb enough to pay for it. Don't know too many financial Masters out there. Come on you female types. Start shelling out already!

Wow.

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(in reply to Dyfrynt)

Post #: 29

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:10:08 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan

This subject has been frustrating me for a long time and it is only getting worse with the new and younger BDSM crowd.

This subject is money. It seems that in this day and age 4 out of 5 so called Dommes or Mistresses are really just women who found a way to extort money. Most Dommes I approach ask for money first and then they'll talk to me. Most of the younger "Dommes" actually state that right off the bat. Saying things like, "I am a financial Domme, Not into pain, humiliation, servitude. I just want your wallet". Thats a Domme? Thats a girl who found an easy way to make a buck and she doesn't even have to do anything to make it. Pro-Dommes at least Dominate, do something, this new breed just wants to sit and receive checks in the mail.

I am so fed up with this that I have been quitting BDSM dating after dating site. I think these are pretty good websites, except for what they are there for. Meeting real genuin people.

sublan, one thing that's always confused me:

Half the members here are men. That rules them out.
I'd estimate 80% of the women are sub only. For you, that rules them out.
10% of the non-sub only women are lesbians. That rules them out.
And then out of the remainder, most are unsuitable for other reasons.

Out of all the screening-out criteria, the only one you object to are the ones who charge. Why is that? Why does that criterion chafe more than the others?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sublan)

Post #: 30

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:14:59 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan

This subject has been frustrating me for a long time and it is only getting worse with the new and younger BDSM crowd.

This subject is money. It seems that in this day and age 4 out of 5 so called Dommes or Mistresses are really just women who found a way to extort money. Most Dommes I approach ask for money first and then they'll talk to me. Most of the younger "Dommes" actually state that right off the bat. Saying things like, "I am a financial Domme, Not into pain, humiliation, servitude. I just want your wallet". Thats a Domme? Thats a girl who found an easy way to make a buck and she doesn't even have to do anything to make it. Pro-Dommes at least Dominate, do something, this new breed just wants to sit and receive checks in the mail.

I am so fed up with this that I have been quitting BDSM dating after dating site. I think these are pretty good websites, except for what they are there for. Meeting real genuin people.

Put in your profile that no money will be involved. When they ask for money, tell them you are not looking for a whore.

(in reply to sublan)

Post #: 31

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:32:58 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

If you're against having so many financial Dommes around take it up with your fellow submissive males - if they'd stop using Fin Domme services then the Fin Domme supply would most likely dry up. If things are sad to you about where the future of BDSM is headed, please feel free to preach that to other male submissives and see how they feel about another person telling them what to do with their private lives. Mind your own business comes to mind as a likely comment.

To the men that want this type of thing, they ARE meeting real, genuine people of the type that they wish to meet. It's odd that you seem to think that the variation of BDSM that you seek is the only one out there and everyone should be looking for the same thing.

(in reply to sublan)

Post #: 32

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:47:35 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I know I am absolutely, positively disgusted with financial Dommes. Cause only men are dumb enough to pay for it. Don't know too many financial Masters out there. Come on you female types. Start shelling out already!

Surely you mean "only men are dumb enough to insist on attempting to engage in sexual behavior with members of the other sex who aren't sexually attracted to them" right?

The thing you should be irritated about isn't that there are women who charge men who keep insisting on attempting sexual contact with them when they don't desire such contact, and as such charge to make sure there is something to gain in it for them.
You should be irritated that there are men out there that, after they've been turned down over and over again by the woman they're trying to compel to engage in sexual behavior with them, pull out their wallets and attempt to use cash incentives to change that equation.

I can't tell you the number of times when I've been randomly asked for online sessions, and after telling the guy I don't do those, been told that he'll pay me $xxx to do a cam session with him.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

Post #: 33

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:48:10 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

FYI
Rawni only accepts visa or MasterCard.

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~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 34

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:52:49 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

FYI
Rawni only accepts visa or MasterCard.

No, no, no... you have it so wrong. I'm the itunes, Kindle and Lowes card fill up domina.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 35

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 7:59:57 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

I only accept shoes or dresses, never cash

But I never solicit for them, I only send out my wish list to guys who are asking for it.

Still love it when UPS shows up though.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 36

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 8:00:17 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

Easiest Domme Eva!

What about a number 1 combo at .........

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 37

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 8:03:39 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

Awe snap!!!

I'm changing my orientation !

Shoes, handbags and lingerie...O my!

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 38

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 8:06:40 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Easiest Domme Eva!

What about a number 1 combo at .........

Again... no, no, no. Never easy and I eat/drink veggies, fruits, cheese, milk and coffee.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 39

RE: Is it all about money??? - 7/11/2013 8:08:45 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Yes, LIFE is all about money. Now can we move on?

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 40

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