RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (Full Version)

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MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/13/2013 4:34:23 PM)

That's a first. Someone who feels so strongly that they have to post twelve consecutive posts. Hmmm ...




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/13/2013 4:34:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern


quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

The law is tricky in the UK. Its legal to be a prostitute and its legal to be a pro Domme but it isn't legal to run a brothel.
A brothel is seen as more than one prostitute or pro Domme working together which means when a pro Domme doubles with another Domme or shares a dungeon, as in a co-operative, if she gets caught she will be charged for running a brothel.





Same in Denmark. I think the law was made that way in order to protect prostitutes from exploitation, that is, no one should take the profit from anther's work, and rooms were rented at exorbitant prices.


Although the actual act of 'prostitution' is legal, there is very little you can do to procure the services of a prostitute without breaking some other law.

For instance, you can't really do it at home because, although not strictly a 'brothel', you can be charged with keeping a disorderly house.
You can't do it in public because that is also not allowed either.

Then you get laws such as this: "The Policing and Crime Act 2009 made amends to the laws on soliciting and loitering for the purposes of prostitution. The main changes are the shifting of focus from the prostitutes to the customers. Before 1 April 2010, it was illegal for a customer to kerb crawl/solicit only if this was done "persistently", or "in a manner likely to cause annoyance". Today, all forms of public solicitation by a customer are illegal, regardless of the manner in which the prostitute was solicited."
Note the very last sentence.

So being a FinDomme in itself isn't illegal, to actually practice your findommery in some manner will actually break some law somewhere. And the fact that many people see finducks on many sites just wanting tribute or payment and the client getting nothing in return just grates against the moral flow and hence all the animosity.




AllisonWilder -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/13/2013 8:20:07 PM)

Findomme = someone who has a relationship with a finsub. Money is involved and there is not "nothing" in return. Something is happening between the two that both parties are comfortable and happy with. Budgeting, control (I say what gets spent on what and when) savings, taking charge of the finances, etc., are things that happen in my relationships. It's quite a thrill for me and at the same time, said sub is getting his finances micro-managed and is learning to value savings, hard work and women in return. Won't ruin you for the sake of ruining you. Will not leave you a worse person/in a terrible situation if/when the relationship ends.

Scammer/Finduck = someone who demands money for the slight possibility that they might speak to the sub in return. Someone who will likely take exorbitant amounts of money and just disappear. Someone that won't care if they ruin you, someone that will take you for everything you have and just walk away. Someone that will not leave you a better person when the relationship ends. Sessions won't happen. In lots (most) cases, nothing will happen, ever.

There's a difference.




TNDommeK -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/13/2013 9:11:50 PM)

Big difference




egern -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 5:01:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

That's a first. Someone who feels so strongly that they have to post twelve consecutive posts. Hmmm ...


Simple explanation. I do not live by the computer. When I get a chance, I read the whole thing and answer.

Try not to jump to conclusions so much.




egern -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 5:03:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern


quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

The law is tricky in the UK. Its legal to be a prostitute and its legal to be a pro Domme but it isn't legal to run a brothel.
A brothel is seen as more than one prostitute or pro Domme working together which means when a pro Domme doubles with another Domme or shares a dungeon, as in a co-operative, if she gets caught she will be charged for running a brothel.





Same in Denmark. I think the law was made that way in order to protect prostitutes from exploitation, that is, no one should take the profit from anther's work, and rooms were rented at exorbitant prices.


Although the actual act of 'prostitution' is legal, there is very little you can do to procure the services of a prostitute without breaking some other law.

For instance, you can't really do it at home because, although not strictly a 'brothel', you can be charged with keeping a disorderly house.
You can't do it in public because that is also not allowed either.

Then you get laws such as this: "The Policing and Crime Act 2009 made amends to the laws on soliciting and loitering for the purposes of prostitution. The main changes are the shifting of focus from the prostitutes to the customers. Before 1 April 2010, it was illegal for a customer to kerb crawl/solicit only if this was done "persistently", or "in a manner likely to cause annoyance". Today, all forms of public solicitation by a customer are illegal, regardless of the manner in which the prostitute was solicited."
Note the very last sentence.

So being a FinDomme in itself isn't illegal, to actually practice your findommery in some manner will actually break some law somewhere. And the fact that many people see finducks on many sites just wanting tribute or payment and the client getting nothing in return just grates against the moral flow and hence all the animosity.




The laws in various parts or the world are very different from each other.

As for your last comment, agree with you.




egern -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 5:06:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

Findomme = someone who has a relationship with a finsub. Money is involved and there is not "nothing" in return. Something is happening between the two that both parties are comfortable and happy with. Budgeting, control (I say what gets spent on what and when) savings, taking charge of the finances, etc., are things that happen in my relationships. It's quite a thrill for me and at the same time, said sub is getting his finances micro-managed and is learning to value savings, hard work and women in return. Won't ruin you for the sake of ruining you. Will not leave you a worse person/in a terrible situation if/when the relationship ends.

Scammer/Finduck = someone who demands money for the slight possibility that they might speak to the sub in return. Someone who will likely take exorbitant amounts of money and just disappear. Someone that won't care if they ruin you, someone that will take you for everything you have and just walk away. Someone that will not leave you a better person when the relationship ends. Sessions won't happen. In lots (most) cases, nothing will happen, ever.

There's a difference.



I think you put the crux of the matter very clearly.




MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 5:25:45 AM)

Where was I jumping to conclusions? You must feel strongly about the subject to respond to so many posts individually.

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

That's a first. Someone who feels so strongly that they have to post twelve consecutive posts. Hmmm ...


Simple explanation. I do not live by the computer. When I get a chance, I read the whole thing and answer.

Try not to jump to conclusions so much.




MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 5:27:50 AM)

Where was I jumping to conclusions? You don't like findommes, that has been abundantly clear from previous posts. Twelve further comments of yours reinforce that message. So it is reasonable to note that you must feel strongly about the subject to respond to so many posts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

That's a first. Someone who feels so strongly that they have to post twelve consecutive posts. Hmmm ...


Simple explanation. I do not live by the computer. When I get a chance, I read the whole thing and answer.

Try not to jump to conclusions so much.






TNDommeK -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 5:27:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern


quote:

ORIGINAL: dink22

It doesn't matter what the LEGAL definition of prostitution is. Because that will vary from state to state and country to country.

The common sense definition of prostitution is to offer some kind of personal sexual services in exchange for money.

C'mon folks. Let's quit kidding ourselves about this stuff.



You are right.

But then there are - we read here - some cases of financial domination where the there is in fact a relationship, and where control of a person's income is part of the relationship.


I don't know Kitty, here Egern seems to grasp that there are differences. Which to be honest, is all I expect or want. I doubt any opinions will change. It would be great if so. I think it's important to educate on the differences between rinses, fin ducks and actual fin dommes.




evesgrden -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/14/2013 11:57:45 PM)

The Trew findom debate.

Now, find me someone who identifies as a findom, who has a long term live-in relationships with their paying sub-- where material or financial compensation is the essential core of the relationship.


Like a Daddy who is living with their one and only little.




TNDommeK -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 12:08:10 AM)

My subs don't live with me bc I'm married and live with my husband. But my last sub belonged to me for 8yrs. My current one has been with me for 2 yrs.




evesgrden -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 7:45:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

My subs don't live with me bc I'm married and live with my husband. But my last sub belonged to me for 8yrs. My current one has been with me for 2 yrs.


Why is your financial kink not part of your primary relationship? Why wouldn't you get off on that at home as well?

I have yet to see or hear of that... hence my previous post. Of course anyone can come and say "they know someone who". You'd think however it would have come up by now.

I don't want to put you on the defensive. Nobody says that a Pro-domme isn't kinky or can't enjoy her sessions or her long term relationships with her clientele. I don't understand the reluctance of "true" findommes to own the business aspect of their relationships and that it's not about being a primary partner to a finsub, but rather it's about having customers. Preferably ones you like.




TNDommeK -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 9:36:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

My subs don't live with me bc I'm married and live with my husband. But my last sub belonged to me for 8yrs. My current one has been with me for 2 yrs.


Why is your financial kink not part of your primary relationship? Why wouldn't you get off on that at home as well?

I have yet to see or hear of that... hence my previous post. Of course anyone can come and say "they know someone who". You'd think however it would have come up by now.

I don't want to put you on the defensive. Nobody says that a Pro-domme isn't kinky or can't enjoy her sessions or her long term relationships with her clientele. I don't understand the reluctance of "true" findommes to own the business aspect of their relationships and that it's not about being a primary partner to a finsub, but rather it's about having customers. Preferably ones you like.



I'm not defensive. I can tell you are a really asking things you want to know answers to instead of attempting to trip me up, so to speak.
My financial kink isn't a part of my primary relationship bc my husband isn't a sub, much less a fin sub. He is dominant, as am I. I do, however take care of paying the bills, he just gives me the money to do so. He budgets our household incomes. So I'm not sure which of us would be the "top" if you will.

I don't consider my slaves customers. I do consider the subs who book pro sessions with me to be customers. I don't refer to them as such but that makes more sense to me. Even still, I have a relationship with them.

Did I answer your questions good enough? I hope so.




OsideGirl -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 9:42:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden
Now, find me someone who identifies as a findom, who has a long term live-in relationships with their paying sub-- where material or financial compensation is the essential core of the relationship.


RochSub has said previously that he was in such a relationship.




TNDommeK -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 9:43:00 AM)

Yes I think you're right...Now that you mention it.




AllisonWilder -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 12:22:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

The Trew findom debate.

Now, find me someone who identifies as a findom, who has a long term live-in relationships with their paying sub-- where material or financial compensation is the essential core of the relationship.


Like a Daddy who is living with their one and only little.


Currently, I'm focusing on family and health matters and was finding that I just didn't have enough time to put into a relationship with my finsub, so I had to let him go. I live with my (non-financial) sub and our 3-year old son so bringing another person into our house isn't an option.

Not everyone who likes something has it fulfilled at home, even in vanilla relationships.




egern -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 1:18:16 PM)



And you feel strongly about that, starting to clutter your mails too - bla ha. What does that have to do with anything?

Many people post many times, these threads about fin domme are mega long as we all know. Mine just come in a bunch.




quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

Where was I jumping to conclusions? You don't like findommes, that has been abundantly clear from previous posts. Twelve further comments of yours reinforce that message. So it is reasonable to note that you must feel strongly about the subject to respond to so many posts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

That's a first. Someone who feels so strongly that they have to post twelve consecutive posts. Hmmm ...


Simple explanation. I do not live by the computer. When I get a chance, I read the whole thing and answer.

Try not to jump to conclusions so much.








MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 1:42:17 PM)

Nah.




TigressLily -> RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? (10/15/2013 2:04:22 PM)


You did the right thing. From what I've read from your postings, I don't know that I'd classify you a classic FinDomme (whatever that is, as opinions vary). You are in an LTR with your live-in sub, where there's no reason why you shouldn't be in charge of the household finances. (My vanilla mother was, and she was unequivocally no FinDomme! My dad couldn't save money worth a darn. We did enjoy dozens of expensive vacations growing up that I'll eternally cherish.) You're both raising your child together. I wouldn't ever classify him as a finsub, no matter how much income he rakes in at whatever point you are together. He's your sub partner.

You had one other non live-in sub with whom you had a D/s dynamic which wasn't entirely focused on finances, from what I've gathered. Another poster observed the same. (MariaB? Not sure--don't have time to look through this thread.) Perhaps you started out on a financial domination basis initially. It's not like you were out there trying to gather up as many "finny" sub benefactors as you could.


quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

Currently, I'm focusing on family and health matters and was finding that I just didn't have enough time to put into a relationship with my finsub, so I had to let him go. I live with my (non-financial) sub and our 3-year old son so bringing another person into our house isn't an option.

Not everyone who likes something has it fulfilled at home, even in vanilla relationships.


All the best in wishing you & yours positive outcomes in dealing with your personal issues. Take care.




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