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Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 2:31:57 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Quite often, I feel as though I'm in the minority of folks who think people should be encouraged to go to munches, kink related educational events, or parties where CM participants meet up and have fun. This is something that has changed on My time here on CM. I couldn't begin to tell folks how many threads were on this site in the past that went on for pages about people planning on getting together or talking about what a good time they had.

No. Munches are not for everyone. There are a lot of folks who have decided that they are not for them and that makes sense to Me because that's a personal decision based on someone's own situation. As much as I think it's a positive experience to have the opportunity to get to know other kinksters in a social setting, not everybody sees it that way, so I try to step back. (I am not always successful.)

Yet, I think it's becoming a little more than that. I think we've got at least some members of the boards who specifically discourage others based on looking down at those who do attend. Their distaste of going to kink gatherings seems to produce comments that seem like they don't even want to give any kind of encouragement to those who might be thinking of going to their first to judge for themselves.

While I have My own suspicions about why some posters do that, I'm going to reserve that part for now. I'm sure some of them will come up through the course of the thread. I'm just going to point a few things out from this side.

When I try to encourage folks to get out to their local community, the truth of the matter is that it doesn't benefit Me. The chances of anybody going to their first event that would actually be in My local community so we have higher numbers of attendees is really pretty slim. It's not because I'm looking for "fresh meat" or that it's because I'm trying to get new play partners for Me in the door. I don't need to fill chairs at the presentations that I give or that I need more people to teach. I've got enough of all of that right here in My own community, so there's really nothing in it for Me if people take the advice to go to their local community or not.

It really is because of the bottom line that I hope the person who takes that advice of going to an event gets the benefits for themselves. Whatever positive you get, whether it be new friendships, get to learn new things, or even if you just get to see that people at munches don't all have two heads, there might be, hopefully, something in it for you.

Now I'd like you to ask yourself what the motivations might be for those who discourage you. Are there situations where you *not* giving the kink community a shot that might benefit the detractors? Is it possible that not everybody is discouraging folks from giving it a shot that are coming from some less than selfless motivations?


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 6:29:00 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I think one problem would be the fact a lot of people do this behind closed doors. A public meeting might reveal this to others.

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 6:47:40 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Quite often, I feel as though I'm in the minority of folks who think people should be encouraged to go to munches, kink related educational events, or parties where CM participants meet up and have fun. This is something that has changed on My time here on CM. I couldn't begin to tell folks how many threads were on this site in the past that went on for pages about people planning on getting together or talking about what a good time they had.


This is quite an indictment of the message boards, if true. I'm not a big fan of munches, but that's because I went to some and decided they weren't doing it for me. I think it's important for most kinky people to meet other kinky people as friends (or just not as possible sexual conquests) in real life. It dispels a lot of misunderstandings, porn fantasies, self-doubt/loathing, to see normal people into this stuff too.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 8/1/2013 6:48:22 AM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 7:03:04 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		What RedMagic1 said.

I used to go to munches and clubs and I'm glad I did. It made me realise that BDSM was about people, first and foremost. They were, on the whole, totally unremarkable people. In fact, most were like me - they had lives, jobs, families and they also had an extra 'something' that they needed in their relationships to make it work.

However, people are not always nice. My own local community has changed a lot in the last few years. It used to be a fun place to be, with lots of fairly local munches and a couple of good fet events. Then the people who organised these events left for one reason or another, and the people who took over were...well....not so nice.

I hate politics. I hate bitching and arguing and rumours and all that shit. It's like secondary (high) school all over again. I can't be doing with it, so I (and several others) walked away from it. I do my socialising through friends I made years ago at the munches and clubs.

If and when the trouble makers move away from the local scene then I'll consider going back. Until then, I'll stick to my friendship circles.

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 7:17:46 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Without a context to explain what this is in response to, all I can say is...
The idea of socialising in BDSM circles isn't for everyone... Which you already know.
You like it, others might not want anything to do with it... That state of affairs is fair enough for me...
But that still leaves the discouragement you mention... Which brings me back to context.

Without a link or some quotes, I got nothing more to add.

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530 DAYS

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 8:11:48 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I've had a mixed vibe here.
Some seem impartial, some strongly against, and some strongly for almost so much so it sounds as if it's the only way you can learn and meet others.

Even though I've never been to one, I've been married longer than knowing of their existence, I appreciate that they are mentioned for those that may not be aware.

If I started to see mostly, or only, negative opinions then that would definitely sway me away from them.
As of right now, I'd go out of curiosity. If I didn't enjoy myself, I may share my personal experience but would not try to sway others away. What's wrong for me may be right for another.


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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 8:59:25 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am like you, I do encourage people to attend local events. Having run one for a tad over a decade I know that they have ups and downs. I know some meetings will be very small and some will be good sized. As the size grows of COURSE there will be a variety of people attending. What pisses me off when people (here) say they do not go, is that they turn up their snooty noses and call those that do, smelly, ignorant, or any other negative to indicate they are above that sort of thing. GRRRR.

I have met a large variety of people at munches. People who are overweight or too thin, people who are well spoken and some that barely function socially. If people choose to stick with it then it doesnt matter what an outsider sees, those people have value. It makes me view anyone who poo poo's munches without ever having been to one as snobs. I won't even say what I feel about people who have been to one or two, and chime in with their view of classless, ignorant, or what ever negative they can think of, to discourage people from trying one. I mean, WHY push a negative view on someone, rather than STFU if it wasn't for them?

I had highs and lows in my munch. Members came and went, stayed and participated. We even got positive reviews in a few major websites as being friendly and welcoming... and guess what? Our members spanned the gamut of the population, from undereducated by some standards to those at the other end. In other words, society. It was VERY rare for me to meet someone and not be genuinely glad to see them the next month.

I like people. They don't have to be a certain standard to make the cut.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 9:03:02 AM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		I too am noticing that I speak to more people who consider themselves 'established' yet have never been to a munch or play party. I must admit that, although I don't wish to judge them (my own Dom is one!) I still feel that you can't fully appreciate what it is that we do unless you have been to an event, and the skills I respect in Tops and Dom/mes are much more prevalent in those who have been to events.

When I started out in BDSM, the idea that you could be a kinkster without having been to a munch or play party was utterly laughable - I would have considered them a fantasist. These days it seems to be more and more common. When I ask them why, they say that they have heard stories about everyone wearing leather trousers or being poseurs (leather is relatively rare at events in the UK). I struggle to understand how they can play safely without being taught how by someone experienced. In my experience, it leads to an overemphasis on D/s rather than s&m, and a claim on being a 'natural' Dom or sub, both justifications for not having to learn more complex physical skills.

I often see people claim that they have no interest in the lifestyle or the community - yet they obviously do because they are participating in the online lifestyle / community. I'm not sure what they see as threatening about real life events (I find them much friendlier than online) but I certainly would like to see more of them taking a deep breath and getting out and about.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 9:24:16 AM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I have learned the hard way not to take what people say here on Collarchat serious anymore. I don't need the mob rule mentality anymore. I do respect your opinions LadyPact and I think people should be encouraged to go to kink functions. A lot of "newcomers" do come here on Collarchat to seek genuine advice and if they are getting shot down by so call "leaders of the boards", then they really don't have any room to give any advice anyways. The bitter hearts can keep to themselves. It doesn't effect me either way.

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 9:27:11 AM   
FelineRanger


Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
Status: offline 		I'm "just" a participant in a local munch and public play party and every time I encounter a new person (usually on FL) I encourage them in the strongest possible terms to get out and go to munches and other gatherings. Maybe it's just my particular viewpoint. I was seriously injured in a traffic accident and stuck in the house, completely isolated for four years afterward. I'm still a loner by and large, but that social time is absolutely critical. I've also found that I learn lots just by shutting my trap and listening to people who have been in the lifestyle far longer than I have.

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 9:42:03 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		My social circle is largely sourced from the Kinky and LGBT communities.

I don't have time in my life to be much around people with whom I cannot be my -complete self- and I don't view kink as simply something that I do, but part of the whole of who I am. Thereby, I try to make it part of my whole kinky life. Munches, events, friends parties, are all part of the "whole" for me and thus I encourage others to do the same as my experience has been, by and large, very positive.

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 11:06:02 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		I'm with the go to munches brigade, largely because I dread to think where I would be without them. When I first started looking for kink I was very much a typical HNG (to my shame lol) - getting invited to a munch made me realise just how idiotic I'd been!

As for why discouragement, it isn't often I see it from a malicious standpoint. When there is it's typically due to an in-scene argument/break up or disagreement with the way an event is run.

There's been events I've been to that I really did not enjoy, i pass my comments on to others (and organisers if I'm particularly concerned) when asked but add the proviso that other people seem to enjoy it at the event and perhaps my experience was just a one off.

_____________________________

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"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 11:14:32 AM   
Fightdirecto


Posts: 1101
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline 		As some may have noticed by recent contributions I have made to Forum topics regarding munches, I have been giving a lot of thought to them lately. Not to re-hash my recent comments (my observation that munches of my experience tend to be for younger people in the lifestyle and for people who already have partners) I’d like to throw another thing into the conversation and hear people’s comments.

quote:

orgasmdenial12: When I started out in BDSM, the idea that you could be a kinkster without having been to a munch or play party was utterly laughable - I would have considered them a fantasist.


When I started out, the idea that you could be a kinkster and voluntarily gather in a public place with other kinky people was self-destructive and semi-suicidal. Even meeting with other kinksters in a private home was taking a major risk.

quote:

imtempting: I think one problem would be the fact a lot of people do this behind closed doors. A public meeting might reveal this to others.


When I started out in BDSM in the ancient days before the Internet (1966, to be exact), BDSM was considered to be a form of mental illness in most places and you risked being jailed or involuntarily placed in a mental institution if you “came out” or if someone else “outed” you. The rare people who were open about their being kinky were almost all gays who would meet each other at leather bars and who created the complex “handkerchief” codes as silent signals to each other (Hanky Code 101). If you were straight and kinky, you met your partner by accident. And if you were the lucky Dom/me who found their opposite gender sub/slave you lived the kinky part of your lives behind closed doors. The idea of gathering in a public place with other kinky people to socialize looked like a setup for a police “sting” operation to get all the neighborhood perverts in one place so you could arrest them on morals charges.

A lot has changed in the past 45+ years but some of us can’t get our life experience training out of our systems (heck, I know a Black lady in my neighborhood who grew up in Alabama in the 1950s who told me she still feels uncomfortable sitting on a public bus when White people are standing because of her childhood training that Blacks were supposed to give up their seats to White people). So we don’t attend munches or Fetish Fleas and we shop online for a flogger rather than go into a store that sells them because someone might see us go in the shop.

Sadly, some of us old kinksters also denigrate the whole idea of munches because being “out” still makes them feel uncomfortable.

Blacks of the 1960’s had Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Marches, gays had the Stonewall Riots – straight kinksters had neither – we survived by staying in the closet until the Internet came along. And all those years "in the closet" still affects our way of thinking.


< Message edited by Fightdirecto -- 8/1/2013 11:16:13 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 11:24:27 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Is it possible that not everybody is discouraging folks from giving it a shot that are coming from some less than selfless motivations?


Of course. Diversity makes the world go 'round and, as an example, it behooves people who are trying to drive others to their pay site to advocate people stay behind their computers rather than go out and meet folks in the flesh because that would eat into their potential business. Married folks cheating on their partners probably aren't going to be advocating that others go to munches either because that narrows their own already narrow pool of potential partners and people who are on-line only also narrow their pool by advocating the 'get out the house' vote.. and.. the list goes on.


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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 11:40:41 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		I recommend folks new to the lifestyle go to munches and events as a way to meet their peers, network and get further established in the community if that interests them, especially sub men who might otherwise get lost in the shuffle.

That said, my lifestyle activities stay among my partners and friends well-known to me. My proclivities are no secret but my chosen 'social' community is the contra dance/music community. As you can see from my avatar, the only cross-overs are the outfits, sometimes.


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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 11:45:31 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Fightdirecto, I think that was very well said.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 12:50:25 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


Is it possible that not everybody is discouraging folks from giving it a shot that are coming from some less than selfless motivations?


As someone who does this now and again, almost certainly. At least in many cases. Broadly, three main factors are at play. In descending order of nobility.

1. To get across the point that munches and play parties are optional, not an integral part of BDSM. Because, as you recognise, they aren't for everyone. Especially play parties, which often exclude monogamists, people with non mainstream (in BDSM community terms) kinks like adult babies and furries, and people simply not interested in public play. And I think it's important to make clear that they aren't the only game in town. Otherwise, if someone tries one and it isn't for them, they run the risk of feeling even more isolated. It's a matter of perception, but I remember how things used to be on here rather differently then you. What sticks out for me is people being told to go to a munch as if it was a one size fits all solution. And people being condescended to, told it was the only way to find a partner and even sneered at if they said they didn't want to. (General point. I have never seen you, personally, do this). Obviously, that's the most 'legit' factor.

2. Countersnark. If someone starts trying to look down on me because I don't do munches et al, I'm going to look down on them back. Faster and harder. I'm perfectly happy to play the cooler than thou game. And I don't apologise for the fact I'm so good at it. You may not have noticed this motivation so much because, again, it's not something I've seen you do. I don't claim this is an especially noble motivation mind you. It's like monkeys flinging poo at each other. It doesn't matter who flung first. Everyone still ends up covered in poo.

3. Because I'm a frightful poseur. And I enjoy playing the anti-scene L'enfant terrible as it suits me. There's two dirty little secrets for those of us playing this game though. Firstly, we actually need the 'mainstream' BDSM scene to define ourselves against. No point in being all James Dean without straights to shake their fists disapprovingly at you. Secondly, you can only pull this one off if you have a presence in the community in one way or another. At least online, but preferably in meatspace as well. Hence I can sometimes be found at fetish markets, often outside smoking. While I find this pose amusing, I'm not claiming it's not obnoxious to the nth degree.

That said, I've tried to cut back on using this one as an excuse for anti munch comments to newbies. Because it's easy enough for me to do this. A lot of my friends are BDSMers. It's common enough that we can all be as out as we see fit, including with our non BDSM friends. And the communities that I'm involved with (goth, alternative music, geek) have a larger then normal proportion of BDSMers in them; combine that with the net and the brutal truth is I simply don't need the BDSM community to find potential partners. However, I've come to the realisation that mocking the munch route to people who aren't in that position isn't a cool and iconoclastic thing to do. It's merely being a cock.

_____________________________

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Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 1:06:39 PM   
jola37


Posts: 433
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline 		me and a mate call it the 'juicy syndrome'.

When someone buys a new car and show it to their friends (and even family), it is GUARANTEED to draw a negative comment from someone like, 'I bet it's juicy' The same applies to almost everything new that we do, it will draw a neg comment lol. It comes from grasping and people who are envious of another's happiness. I think it's just this simple. I, like loads of people here it seems, am also a musician and I have overheard one guitarist telling another that Fender Strats are shit. The chap being told this was stood there with his new (gorgeous) Strat looking quite bemused. It's just negative noise as far as I'm concerned and it goes in one ear and out the other, a bit like radio static between stations.

I'm a drummer btw, a real musician ;-)

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RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 1:13:58 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Quite often, I feel as though I'm in the minority of folks who think people should be encouraged to go to munches, kink related educational events, or parties where CM participants meet up and have fun. This is something that has changed on My time here on CM. I couldn't begin to tell folks how many threads were on this site in the past that went on for pages about people planning on getting together or talking about what a good time they had.

No. Munches are not for everyone. There are a lot of folks who have decided that they are not for them and that makes sense to Me because that's a personal decision based on someone's own situation. As much as I think it's a positive experience to have the opportunity to get to know other kinksters in a social setting, not everybody sees it that way, so I try to step back. (I am not always successful.)

Yet, I think it's becoming a little more than that. I think we've got at least some members of the boards who specifically discourage others based on looking down at those who do attend. Their distaste of going to kink gatherings seems to produce comments that seem like they don't even want to give any kind of encouragement to those who might be thinking of going to their first to judge for themselves.

While I have My own suspicions about why some posters do that, I'm going to reserve that part for now. I'm sure some of them will come up through the course of the thread. I'm just going to point a few things out from this side.

When I try to encourage folks to get out to their local community, the truth of the matter is that it doesn't benefit Me. The chances of anybody going to their first event that would actually be in My local community so we have higher numbers of attendees is really pretty slim. It's not because I'm looking for "fresh meat" or that it's because I'm trying to get new play partners for Me in the door. I don't need to fill chairs at the presentations that I give or that I need more people to teach. I've got enough of all of that right here in My own community, so there's really nothing in it for Me if people take the advice to go to their local community or not.

It really is because of the bottom line that I hope the person who takes that advice of going to an event gets the benefits for themselves. Whatever positive you get, whether it be new friendships, get to learn new things, or even if you just get to see that people at munches don't all have two heads, there might be, hopefully, something in it for you.

Now I'd like you to ask yourself what the motivations might be for those who discourage you. Are there situations where you *not* giving the kink community a shot that might benefit the detractors? Is it possible that not everybody is discouraging folks from giving it a shot that are coming from some less than selfless motivations?



I encourage people to go to munches privately, as I think it would look funny to keep posting links to Fet in these boards. Links I send are the exact page where someone's munch groups are posted, as well as their scheduled events. And I explain to them that they are not entering "Other World Kingdom", lol, that munches are only kinky people meeting up in some restaurant for a meet and greet.

I remember reading in CollarMe's boards about many of you meeting up, and yes, I haven't heard anything mentioned in the boards since some meetup in Chicago. bo and I have too many responsibilities to travel farther than we already are at this present time. (I have plans to eventually visit someone or two in other states whenever I can, Ohio being one of them.) Yes, I do see someone from these message boards at MAsT and at play parties...but yanno, when I joined I agreed not to mention these people anywhere (by their real name or scene name) without their permission. With only two exceptions, one being a friend's new husband, I have met everyone on my friends' list at Fet.

Telling newbies in the boards to read some non-porn, non-fantasy BDSM educational books doesn't mean that I am not equally encouraging them to pick several munch groups and start going, even if the one they are looking for wasn't at the meet up. (A lot of guys show up once, nobody makes their dick hard so they go home. I have to remind them that sometimes only one person per 100 members will show up at any given munch, and that the people who do show up...have a lot of friends. And, if they're anything like my area, often like to play match maker.)

A lot of people who used to get together from CM have left CM. These boards are not the same without them.

I hope I have never given the impression that I look down on people who go to munches. I want newbies to get educated and to be welcomed as "fresh meat". Since I don't casually top anymore, more newbies being added to any group doesn't affect me directly. It won't add to the list of people I can top. However, it does add to our "community", and I do want a much larger BDSM community in every state of the USA. I don't have to benefit directly from a newbie deciding they want to be one of us; keeping them from throwing in the towel, staying long enough to find a suitable partner, means that someone, somewhere, benefitted from my help and...patience with their awkward newbie questions and angst.

quote:

I don't need to fill chairs at the presentations that I give or that I need more people to teach. I've got enough of all of that right here in My own community, so there's really nothing in it for Me if people take the advice to go to their local community or not.

In another thread you looked up zip codes or whatever and said that there are more people in my area than yours, ergo, the assumption was that my kink community was larger. KATS in Charleston was only formed a few years ago. Same goes for our MAsT chapter. When I was ready to join Bountyhunter's group in Beckley, it had disbanded. Two others in the Beckley/Fayetteville area have begun and then dissolved within something like half a year each.

In the past ten years...I have been to ONE meetup that had presenters. Another thing, lol, CM says the miles between me and bo are 67. Yeah right. As the crow flies, maybe. With our twisting mountain roads...going to his home via the toll road is over 150 miles, and taking the back roads with all the short cuts is 120 something. Either way, it's over 3 hours each way. MAsT, getting there takes about three hours if there are no traffic jams. Most people around here won't spend 7 hours round trip to go to a Chinese food buffet with fellow kinksters. They might, for a play party, if they have no other venue for scening. (Psst...if you have had more than one day as a presenter since you have been living in Alaska, I still think that your area is better than mine.)

Which threads have people putting down those who go to munches? I don't remember seeing any so I must be more behind in my reading than I thought. Was it in a fat thread? Or an all Dommes are ugly thread?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why discourage others? - 8/1/2013 1:16:28 PM   
lovethyself


Posts: 1818
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		FR

Whenever I've read the negative comments from people about going to munches and events, they've come across, at least to me, as being either jaded or bitter. On the contrary, those comments offering that option as advice came across as being well meant. I've been to other types of events that I should have enjoyed that I didn't because of internal politics or personality clashes. I was able to recognize that while I didn't enjoy That event, it didn't mean I wouldn't enjoy a similar event.

I'm one of those newbies that because of the encouragement of people here (especially you Lady Pact), repeatedly suggesting it to others, and talking about what happens at munches and events, that I went to my first munch a couple of months back. I didn't stick around very long at the first one, but the organizers were really friendly and suggested a different one that might be better suited to me. I've now been to a handful of munches, and a couple of events, and I'm slowly getting to know my local community and working towards getting invited to some of the rope sessions that have a vetting process (private residence, I think). I'm actually kind of bummed that July was so busy for me that I didn't get to go to any kink events.

So, as one of the newbies around here, thank you. All of you, through your encouragement both of me and of others, gave me the courage to step out on my own. I'm so glad that I did.

To touch on something LP mentioned in her OP, perhaps the conversations about get togethers have migrated to fetlife since you started here. I know in Toronto, the munches that I've been to, most people I've talked to aren't on CM. They use fetlife almost exclusively now for event planning and networking. The rope practice session I attended, the new attendees were gathered for an instructional, and when everyone was asked to introduce themselves, they were told they could use just their fet name if they wanted. Every person there had a FL account. Same with the munches, your name tag has your FL name on it, sometimes with a real name too (you fill it out yourself).


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 20
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