RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex?

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[Poll]

What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex?

Once tied up, we almost always have sex

43% (43)

Once tied up, we sometimes have sex

26% (26)

Once tied up, we rarely have sex

11% (11)

Bondage is foreplay - we have sex after

11% (11)

Bondage destroys the mood

3% (3)

Sex is never involved with bondage

4% (4)

Total Votes : 98

(last vote on : 1/11/2014 8:34:57 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 1:39:25 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Married and otherwise faithful to her husband, she had this 'need' to experience being held prisoner for a spell. Just that, no sex or any physical abuse, just being tied up, chained, or otherwise restrained, fully clothed, no exceptions.

I don't find that weird at all. I have the same need for physical restrictions you describe her having, and could very easily find fulfillment for that need by just being restrained, fully clothed, without any other form of play.

In fact, doing just that is my absolute favorite way of playing period. Even though it doesn't happen that often because the Top usually wants to play once they've got a restrained subject at hand.

However, my need for being restrained supersedes all other intimate needs I have of a partner, including sex.

Perhaps "weird" was the wrong word to use. I was younger then, and still finding my center of gravity. At first, it was a bit frustrating for me, because I'd become used to having relations with my captives, but as I said before, I learned early on to think with my big brain, and used the experience for what it was.

_____________________________

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(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 21

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 1:42:33 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

Bondage was always foreplay. There was always sex involved and always pain.
If I saw the ropes come out I knew I was going to get hit hard and fucked even harder.

With a few exceptions as outlined above, this pretty much encapsulates how it works with me

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to petitespot)

Post #: 22

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 8:23:08 AM

Dyfrynt

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline

Sex. Absolutely sex. Not that there are not other concepts to think about either along with or without sex. Bondage is excellent for mind fucks, especially if your submissive has a fertile imagination. It can be as simple or as complex as your devilish mind can devise.

The simple. This is mind fuck 101, and still effective. Once I blindfolded and bound my naked slave to a chair. Told her I would be 'right back', opened and closed the door without leaving and sat down to watch. She remained patient for a good long time, but eventually she began to start testing her bonds. She was obviously listening carefully and I can only imagine what she might be hearing. (This was done outside on an enclosed screen porch). Eventually she was starting to become nervous and her struggles increased. She knows I would never leave her unattended bound thus; what the hell was going on?

After I had her in a wonderful lather, I leaned very close and whispered softly in her ear "Do you really think you are alone?" She jumped so high she practically lifted the chair right off the ground! Then she started laughing. Point made in spectacular fashion!

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 23

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 10:59:52 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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I notice there is no 'bondage destroys the mood' option...

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

Post #: 24

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 5:04:25 PM

VideoAdminChi

Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline

Added!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 25

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 6:05:22 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Wait...I thought the point of bondage was so the sub can't get away while I do painful things to them. What does sex have to do with that?

Doin' it rong. Again. Crap.

Ding! We have a winner!

Consider a third in agreement.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 26

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 6:36:48 PM

directiveerror

Posts: 128
Joined: 11/17/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I notice there is no 'bondage destroys the mood' option...

yep that one gets my vote

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 27

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 6:42:08 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Wait...I thought the point of bondage was so the sub can't get away while I do painful things to them. What does sex have to do with that?

Doin' it rong. Again. Crap.

Ding! We have a winner!

Consider a third in agreement.

I agree too . . . but quite often, the painful thing I like to do to them is sex.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 28

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 7:13:58 PM

Epicurus341BC

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/19/2013
Status: offline

For the release of surrender it provides. For the sake of a good tease. Even, simply, for the dominant to express their power over the sub.

There are many reasons why bondage without sex can be fun and useful, which is why I'm such a fan. Sex is rarely a bad thing, though.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 29

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/19/2013 8:19:59 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

Bondage without sex oh my. The joys of tease & denial, sensory deprivation, mind fucks.......what's a few minutes of sex compared to the hours and hours the bondage fun can bring?

Edit to add:
Nothing like time to blur the reality between pleasure and pain. After 8, 10, 12, 18 hours of bondage, are those screams of pleasure or pain? :)

< Message edited by mummyman321 -- 11/19/2013 8:21:39 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Epicurus341BC)

Post #: 30

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 5:22:47 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

Added!

Hey, thanks!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)

Post #: 31

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 10:42:22 AM

Dyfrynt

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline

Bondage destroys the mood? That is certainly an interesting perspective. Not one I can really wrap my mind around. If you are willing I would be very curious for an explanation of this mindset.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 32

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 12:47:17 PM

shivermetimbers

Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

It really depends on where they or I am physically in space. It's pretty hard to have sex with someone bound straight up to slats in a wall and it would require a footstool or something to get at the correct heighth, the access isn't quite there. But it's a great position to torture or be tortured!

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(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 33

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 1:17:59 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Lots of people don't like bondage. If,you hate it, and someone ties you up, you aren't gonna really feel frisky, are you?

And from a formatting pov, if you are going to have a poll about gradations of something, the lack of that is also usually one of the options.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to shivermetimbers)

Post #: 34

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 1:33:36 PM

meomymaid

Posts: 26
Joined: 9/17/2012
Status: offline

not sure why people are on a BDSM site, if they think this is about sex in the first place.
Guess the subject is being high jacked by swingers and sex addicts that shouldn't be here in the first place.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 35

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 2:06:31 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

So because people like to have sex with their kink they're sex addicts?

You do realize that the very definition of "fetish" is an abnormal sexual focus on something that is not by itself sexual, right?

So how on earth would you assume that BDSMers shouldn't be on a BDSM site if and when they mix their kink with sex?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 36

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 2:11:15 PM

meomymaid

Posts: 26
Joined: 9/17/2012
Status: offline

matter of priorities

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 37

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 2:11:55 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meomymaid

not sure why people are on a BDSM site, if they think this is about sex in the first place.
Guess the subject is being high jacked by swingers and sex addicts that shouldn't be here in the first place.

^^^^^ the question was about SEX or no SEX combined with bondage. How is that high jacking the thread?

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Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to meomymaid)

Post #: 38

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 2:13:34 PM

meomymaid

Posts: 26
Joined: 9/17/2012
Status: offline

Bondage, discipline, Sado, Maso misses a letter to come to sex "X"

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 39

RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/20/2013 2:19:18 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Meomymaid,
You have a list of likes on your profile. Amongst them, you listed Orgasm Control as something you live for. I am pretty certain that is related to both sex and BDSM.

good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to meomymaid)

Post #: 40

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