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RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:47:35 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		We have people who pack their things and cast off their lives and move across country to be with someone they have never met because they told them to.

We have people meeting people they have never laid eyes on in motel rooms.

We have a post on the boards about a woman who abused her child because her Master who was nothing more than words on a screen told her to.

We have a post on a board from someone asking if it's abandonment because their Dom who they have never met stopped calling them.

We had a post this morning that got pulled asking why he can't find someone who will agree to get pregnant in a gang bang just for fun.

We frequently have posts from women who are in abusive situations who are asking if it's ok because the abuser calls himself a "Master".

On and on and on........

Some things should just be basic common sense and I don't understand how the "newness" of the lifestyle could ever be so overwhelming as to erase any shred of common sense we were born with in some matters.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:47:39 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

Well, this thread sure as hell makes me feel stupid since I dont even know what WIITWD means.


what it is that we do
 
I have to stop and think every time I see it lol, hell, just remember it means all this kinky stuff people talk about, and that about covers it.

(in reply to Rumtiger)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:50:33 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Well, I have to admit to being one person who lost my personal compass at one time and did things I would at more rational times consider only an idiot would do.

Sometimes even the most clear sighted of people can't see the wood for the trees. Not that I am saying I am one of the most clear sighted of people.


I can relate to this.  And I'm sure a lot of people called me "stupid," too.  I am grateful for those who helped me find my way, instead.


You're about the last person on earth I'd call stupid.

Wow, Level, how kind you are - thank you.  Seriously, 2 years ago you may have felt differently (I know I did)!!  I was about as lost as they come. 

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:51:28 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Erin.. I do not lose my common sense when dealing with the lifestyle ( Damn i hate that word)....

As a matter of fact.. they seem to come on stronger than not. And I spend alot of my time defending myself or explaining myself. My common sense tell me when something isn't right. And when I opinionate these thoughts.. all hell breaks loose. On line..and off line.. so i do not see myself as being stupid... quizative.... but not stupid...LOL


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:53:48 AM   
Level


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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Wow, Level, how kind you are - thank you.  Seriously, 2 years ago you may have felt differently (I know I did)!!  I was about as lost as they come. 


Most of us had our "time lost in the wilderness", owned. Doesn't make you stupid, neccesarily.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:54:15 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Well, I have to admit to being one person who lost my personal compass at one time and did things I would at more rational times consider only an idiot would do.

Sometimes even the most clear sighted of people can't see the wood for the trees. Not that I am saying I am one of the most clear sighted of people.


Hello meatcleaver,

In hindsight, I have too...more times than I really am comfy to admit, to a greater or lesser degree.

The older I get, the better I feel about the way I *see* things. I'm not saying that I have it *right*......I just have had the passing of time and LOTS of that *hind-sight* to aid my *viewing* ...so to speak.

agirl



(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:54:52 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Erin.. I do not lose my common sense when dealing with the lifestyle ( Damn i hate that word)....

As a matter of fact.. they seem to come on stronger than not. And I spend alot of my time defending myself or explaining myself. My common sense tell me when something isn't right. And when I opinionate these thoughts.. all hell breaks loose. On line..and off line.. so i do not see myself as being stupid... quizative.... but not stupid...LOL



You're definitely not stupid either, true. Happy 4th to ya .

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:55:57 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Erin.. I do not lose my common sense when dealing with the lifestyle


Yup....most of us can and do manage to see clearly through it all....and I would suspect that our hormones aren't raging any less intensely than those who seem to lose it. So I have to wonder what the differences in the two groups are.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 7/4/2006 8:57:42 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 8:58:34 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level



You're definitely not stupid either, true. Happy 4th to ya .


Give me a few level.. I can change your mind...

Happy 4th to you too hun... hope it is fun...and safe...


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:02:02 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Erin.. I do not lose my common sense when dealing with the lifestyle


Yup....most of us can and do manage to see clearly through it all....and I would suspect that our hormones aren't raging any less intensely than those who seem to lose it. So I have to wonder what the difference in the two groups are.


I look at things from the ground up. For instance, I will not even consider having a slave, until I have my own property-with a smoothly running small business. And a bank account with at least ten grand in it-made out in that slave's name.

I am not about to ask someone to give themselves to me at those levels, without realistic means of support and a good safety net-if things don't work out.

A lot of what I do,and can do, seems pretty fantasical to an outside observer- but it stands in the bedrock or reality.

And one only learns this by fantasies that do NOT work-it's a process of grounding through experience.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:02:18 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Erin.. I do not lose my common sense when dealing with the lifestyle


Yup....most of us can and do manage to see clearly through it all....and I would suspect that our hormones aren't raging any less intensely than those who seem to lose it. So I have to wonder what the differences in the two groups are.


Entering into a debate I have nothing to fall back on as back up. So i'll wonder the same...and wait to see if someone thinks they know this answer.. because I sure don't..

What I do know.. my hormones may rage.. but my common sense  still steps in and  says  WHOA... wait a minute.. something is wrong here... regroup..think this out...

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 7/4/2006 9:03:38 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:03:13 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

We have people who pack their things and cast off their lives and move across country to be with someone they have never met because they told them to.

A close friend of mine did that.  Has been happily married to him for 6 years now.

quote:


We have people meeting people they have never laid eyes on in motel rooms.

I did that.  Happily and deeply owned for 2  years now. 

quote:


We have a post on a board from someone asking if it's abandonment because their Dom who they have never met stopped calling them.
Maybe it felt like abandonment to her.  Maybe that is just where she was in life.

quote:


We frequently have posts from women who are in abusive situations who are asking if it's ok because the abuser calls himself a "Master".

In this day and age it still surprises me that people do not understand what goes on in the mind and heart of an abused person.  These people are not rational, because they live in an irrational world, and have been conditioned over time to believe they deserve what they are getting.  To me that is tragic, not "stupid." But maybe it hits a nerve with me because that woman used to be me.

quote:


Some things should just be basic common sense and I don't understand how the "newness" of the lifestyle could ever be so overwhelming as to erase any shred of common sense we were born with in some matters.


I think it is really great that there are people in the world who are so intelligent and wise that they know what common sense others should carry, and how to conduct their lives. I only wish they would help, rather than criticize. I can't seem to wrap my mind around that.  I have been accused of being too compassionate though, so maybe there is a balance in the middle somewhere.

I didn't quote all of the examples given because I agree that some are of the more extreme and can't reallky be justified.  In short, the world is full of flawed individuals.  Maybe some are more flawed than others, but I tend to think some flaws are just more blatant and "public" than others. Every time I look at someone and think, "That idiot," I end up showing my own idiocy somehow; it is quite humbling.  Anyway, I have trouble standing from a pulpit and declaring who is less common sensical than I.  Surely that pulpit will fall the moment I do.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:05:41 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Wow, Level, how kind you are - thank you.  Seriously, 2 years ago you may have felt differently (I know I did)!!  I was about as lost as they come. 


Most of us had our "time lost in the wilderness", owned. Doesn't make you stupid, neccesarily.

True, Level.  That was kind of my point.  However, many called me stupid at the time.  I fit the bill of some things stated in the OP.  I think we are quick to judge, rather than to look at what's behind someone's wall.  (we, being a collective we)

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:07:52 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

We have people who pack their things and cast off their lives and move across country to be with someone they have never met because they told them to.

We have people meeting people they have never laid eyes on in motel rooms.

We have a post on the boards about a woman who abused her child because her Master who was nothing more than words on a screen told her to.

We have a post on a board from someone asking if it's abandonment because their Dom who they have never met stopped calling them.

We had a post this morning that got pulled asking why he can't find someone who will agree to get pregnant in a gang bang just for fun.

We frequently have posts from women who are in abusive situations who are asking if it's ok because the abuser calls himself a "Master".

On and on and on........

Some things should just be basic common sense and I don't understand how the "newness" of the lifestyle could ever be so overwhelming as to erase any shred of common sense we were born with in some matters.


 In many of these *cases*, it wouldn't really matter if bdsm or anything else was involved.   It wouldn't matter WHAT *scenario* they were in......they would, most likely, make similar statements, claims or complaints.

It's no use stating what *common-sense* is, or whether we should *have it*.

The fact is , we DON'T always have it or use it in every situation that occurs. We might have it in some, apply it ruthlessly in others.......but it will elude us at times, in others.

I may think I have a fairly good handle on many things, but I'm still capable of being a complete TIT often enough for me to realise that nothing is as it seems.

agirl

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:09:01 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
We frequently have posts from women who are in abusive situations who are asking if it's ok because the abuser calls himself a "Master".

In this day and age it still surprises me that people do not understand what goes on in the mind and heart of an abused person.  These people are not rational, because they live in an irrational world, and have been conditioned over time to believe they deserve what they are getting.  To me that is tragic, not "stupid." But maybe it hits a nerve with me because that woman used to be me.


I'm not referring to women who have been conditioned over time. I fully understand all of the dynamics of abuse. What I don't understand is when women who also fully understand come into this lifestyle and have to ask if abuse is ok because some idiot is telling her that it's part of this lifestyle and to suck it up.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:13:07 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

We frequently have posts from women who are in abusive situations who are asking if it's ok because the abuser calls himself a "Master".

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
In this day and age it still surprises me that people do not understand what goes on in the mind and heart of an abused person.  These people are not rational, because they live in an irrational world, and have been conditioned over time to believe they deserve what they are getting.  To me that is tragic, not "stupid." But maybe it hits a nerve with me because that woman used to be me.


I'm not referring to women who have been conditioned over time. I fully understand all of the dynamics of abuse. What I don't understand is when women who also fully understand come into this lifestyle and have to ask if abuse is ok because some idiot is telling her that it's part of this lifestyle and to suck it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK.  I still contend it is better to educate them rather than criticize them.  But we all carry our own histories with us in our dealings with others.  My abusive history would compel me to feel compassion for that person who didn't know better.  I have no idea what that woman's history or baggage might be, which would have her ask such a question.  Maybe she really needs to know.  Maybe learning such information would turn things around for her.  I was also that woman to a degree.  I recall asking some chat room friends, "Is this abuse, or is this how it should be?" It was their compassion and education which helped me see I was standing on the wrong side of the street, so to speak.

(edited to try to fix quotes)

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 7/4/2006 9:17:01 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:16:44 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I'm not referring to women who have been conditioned over time. I fully understand all of the dynamics of abuse. What I don't understand is when women who also fully understand come into this lifestyle and have to ask if abuse is ok because some idiot is telling her that it's part of this lifestyle and to suck it up.


Because there are a lot of idiots out there saying that abusive behavior *is* a part of this lifestyle and should just be sucked up. And if you've come out of an abusive life then knowing what is and is not abuse can be confusing. And when there's no one around, other than the person telling you to suck up the abuse, it's hard to know what to think.

New people need good mentors and, unfortunately, there aren't many out there willing to invest their time.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:17:21 AM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Erin

We have all seen what is called "sub-frenzy".  People often enter this world with a cautious outlook, then see, hear, read things that they become curious about.  They might have common sense in many areas of their lives, but the "frenzy" builds inside until they are like the last passenger trying to grab a plane.  Think about the things people discuss that offer sensations and feelings that are beyond the imagination of many people.  Think about hearing someone describe flying in sub-space.  I think that people lose a sense of reality in the rush to get their share of those sensations and feelings and walk away from a common sense approach.  No matter who or what someone is, if they have these desires, they have likely done something stupid along their path.  Fortunately, few are severely harmed, but those early lessons and explorations are what restore common sense.  

_____________________________

Author of "Nytewhispers"

Power whispers, it has no reason to yell

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:19:51 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

We have people who pack their things and cast off their lives and move across country to be with someone they have never met because they told them to.


quote:

A close friend of mine did that.  Has been happily married to him for 6 years now.


I would say that this is an exception to the rule. Erin is talking about the submissive who sold everything she owned and moved to her new Master, she met online, and then within days was being told to go back home. Home? To what? She sold everything and gave up her home. I'm sure if we all dig hard enough we can find those exceptions to the rule about that, but for the most part, there is no common sense in my opinion to someone giving up everything they own to move to someone they never even met in person.  There is no rationality in that, in my opinion. Take that and a dollar bill and it will get you a cup of coffee.


_____________________________





(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Stupid is as stupid does - 7/4/2006 9:20:07 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Suck it up?... I would rather argue "true" "real" sub vs slave ... how words affect others.. anything.. but to see a post that states.. suck it up... makes me want to reach thru screen and smack the shit outta someone and tell them to suck it up.

But then again.. that's just me.... lol <fast reply used.. not ment towards no one person>


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 40
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