RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style?

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 12:02:12 PM)
Fast reply to no one in particular....... Some folks on this thread are new. If one would choose to be so diligent, they could go back X number of years to see what certain people have written regarding their own lives, and where they felt they were in the world. Two years ago, had this same thread happened the way it is now, nobody on this forum would have challenged what I had to say regarding the authority/service based dynamic that I had when it was good. Granted, that last year went to hell, and not being a mental health professional, I can't talk a lot about that. (Please see that PTSD thread for reference.) Still, there's nobody on this thread who is going to tell Me, at forty-five years old, that something that lasted for a full one ninth of My life, had no significance or I was just bullshitting with 'funishment' all along. You only want "in love" type dynamics for yourself? Great! I'll be the person that is happy with you in your success. At the same time, you MUST recognize that other people are not like you or everybody has to do things the same way., You MUST look at dynamics that lasted for years, even though they wouldn't have suited you. You MUST acknowledge that your way isn't the only way. If you can not do that, you have to look at your own myopic view and why you can not accept anything else.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 12:29:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko YOU were the one who actually said that you see love as diminishing the D/s dynamic when you yourself don't even have the experience in that realm to make such a case, whereas, I do. I think you’re failing to see I’m talking about M/s, not D/s—which is far more "open source," in my experience. And I seem to recall giving my experience about love and M/s earlier in this thread. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko You are not the pantheon of deciding how good of a Domina that I am but I can tell you, I have had ZERO complaints... When did this thread turn into discussion about your reputation or integrity as a Domina, especially in relation to what I’m saying? I can’t help but feel you carry some baggage here, [Mod edit to remove user name]. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko She collects money from men for holding the title of Domina, she has a website and blah...is she giving this money to charity? It's absolutely ironic you'd say that, because yes, she does give massively to charity and rape/abuse shelter support. She's pretty awesome that way. She has also forced men to do the same in large dollar amounts, thus illustrating you're flippantly labeling someone you don't even know, in addition to other things already mentioned.

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 12:48:54 PM)
Just so you know, everything you're saying to me, means little to nothing to me. She's still a prodomme. Sorry, move on. Also LOL@ I am the one with the baggage. Ah yes, clearly... eye rolls

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 12:55:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Fast reply to no one in particular....... Some folks on this thread are new. If one would choose to be so diligent, they could go back X number of years to see what certain people have written regarding their own lives, and where they felt they were in the world. Two years ago, had this same thread happened the way it is now, nobody on this forum would have challenged what I had to say regarding the authority/service based dynamic that I had when it was good. Granted, that last year went to hell, and not being a mental health professional, I can't talk a lot about that. (Please see that PTSD thread for reference.) Still, there's nobody on this thread who is going to tell Me, at forty-five years old, that something that lasted for a full one ninth of My life, had no significance or I was just bullshitting with 'funishment' all along. You only want "in love" type dynamics for yourself? Great! I'll be the person that is happy with you in your success. At the same time, you MUST recognize that other people are not like you or everybody has to do things the same way., You MUST look at dynamics that lasted for years, even though they wouldn't have suited you. You MUST acknowledge that your way isn't the only way. If you can not do that, you have to look at your own myopic view and why you can not accept anything else. THIS exactly. Pearls of wisdom. :)

RedMagic1 -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 12:59:52 PM)
How did this thread become so weird so quickly? Just two years ago, the one-true-way'ers here were Big Bad Doms who would lecture about how slaves (female slaves of course) were happiest when they gave everything to their Masters and expected nothing in return -- certainly not love or affection. Welp, today is officially Opposite Day! Also, I was away when it was decided that it is a bad thing to be a prodomme. I don't understand that argument at all: she's a prodomme, no she isn't. As though it were some kind of insult. Something feels really wrong there. And finally, could you guys please keep anything you said to each other in private emails off the public message board? Reading that crap is annoying as hell.

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 1:09:20 PM)
The internet is a free for all, and YES, it IS a stupid argument to make since I keep making it abundantly clear that I DO NOT CARE what she or any other person in the realm of BDSM does with their partners/playmates. AT ALL <<<<

kalikshama -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 1:26:01 PM)
quote: And I only commented directly to you in regards to the young female sub who compared herself to a household appliance. Yes, it was clear to me that you were reacting to this: quote: ORIGINAL: slavekate80 It's been my experience that whenever a Dom falls in love with me, it does mess up the dynamic. He starts doing romantic things that don't make sense to me (no matter how much I like my laptop or my vacuum cleaner, I'm not going to buy it flowers) and the discipline and punishment aspects weaken. ...which made me think of toasters: [image]http://i.imgur.com/Q1nCX.jpg[/image]

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 1:26:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Just so you know, everything you're saying to me, means little to nothing to me. I assure you it's quite obvious, but if you want to make public statements over the things you're commenting on, it pays to understand that you'll be held to public commentary for what you take far out into left field. quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 How did this thread become so weird so quickly? I have my theories. ;-)

LadyPact -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 1:31:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 How did this thread become so weird so quickly? Just two years ago, the one-true-way'ers here were Big Bad Doms who would lecture about how slaves (female slaves of course) were happiest when they gave everything to their Masters and expected nothing in return -- certainly not love or affection. Welp, today is officially Opposite Day! Also, I was away when it was decided that it is a bad thing to be a prodomme. I don't understand that argument at all: she's a prodomme, no she isn't. As though it were some kind of insult. Something feels really wrong there. And finally, could you guys please keep anything you said to each other in private emails off the public message board? Reading that crap is annoying as hell. That last part is impossible. There are things that you and I have talked about which allow you to understand certain things. When you embrace certain instances that I have to say, those private conversations have been a part of that. You can't rob people of it. Pretty much, if a person chooses to dig deeper than the surface, they must accept that their hands will get dirty. You can not dig into the mud and expect your hands to remain clean. Human relationships are not clean and neat.

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 1:50:51 PM)
I assure you, I have NO hard feelings towards anyone. I just don't like being misrepresented. And OK, I get it. Some people will just want to believe what they want and I should just walk away. But this man used my first name (a fake one I use, but thanks for outing me) in a public forum as if he knows me personally and makes mention of "baggage" as if I had opened up to him in some way. He is all of 3 emails of 50 pages (thus far) I have skimmed through so I just need to be the bigger person and let whatever this is over a grudge carry on as it may. It's really nonsensical, it's clear he's just baiting me and I have to agree with RedMagic1 that this display is uncouth and sloppy and unnecessary to all on the thread. And thanks to all who actually understood what I was saying, LOL. Nice to know I didn't get completely lost in translation there. :) Much respect LadyPact and kalikshama! :)

SaharahEve -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 2:42:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko I just don't like being misrepresented. Perhaps you should give others the same courtesy then?

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 3:32:56 PM)
LOL...OK, this is not petty at all. Here come the reinforcements. eye roll And I was kind enough to NOT put your name anywhere in the forum although your friend could not have the same courtesy. However, I digress. Nice modelling pic. :)

PeonForHer -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 3:48:13 PM)
FR SaharahEve, GoddessManko, I've come to respect both your different styles of preferred relationships. I think you'll both have to accept, though, that whatever you both are and believe in, you'll always have your knockers.

wittynamehere -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 4:00:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Is Love part of the D/s life style? quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Is love a necessary part of a long term D/s relationship.. Your thread title and the question you actually ask in the OP aren't the same - rather annoying. Maybe if you want something answered, just ask one question? Or, ask multiple questions as long as they aren't subtle variations of each other. In the second question you use the word "necessary" which completely changes the meaning of the question. And in the first, you're asking about the lifestyle, and in the second you're asking about relationships - not the same thing. quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman .. or is the craving to dominate or be dominated enough? And then you use an "or" modifier, but instead of then listing the opposite of "is love necessary" you use "is craving enough". Yikes. We have enough trouble around here without people starting threads for which there is no proper way to answer the question or even have a discussion involving any reasoning. Lastly, would you mind defining "love", "D/s lifestyle", and "D/s relationship" please? If you do that, I can give you the answer to your question. If you can't, then really what your thread is asking, is for the definition of those terms. Without knowing that, no answer can be given. Unless you're just looking for nonsensical emotionally based answers. In which cases, here you go: "No, definitely not!"

GoddessManko -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 4:03:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR SaharahEve, GoddessManko, I've come to respect both your different styles of preferred relationships. I think you'll both have to accept, though, that whatever you both are and believe in, you'll always have your knockers. Lmao!!!! Thank you for making me laugh SO hard Peon. Honestly, I have nothing at all against pro or fin dommes, in fact I COMPLIMENTED Saharah Eve in another blog about them (I said some are CLEARLY dominant, and also fans of Helen Mirren). I did find her to be a woman of substance when I did a little digging and I actually told this Marc fellow this also (funny how he gives her another impression). I REALLY didn't have to say that though but figured it would just show how petty this all really is and that I don't even know why "prodomme" is being taken as an insult, but define yourself as you see fit. This came down to directing me to someone's website and didn't impress me, BIG DEAL, it doesn't make me anyone's enemy. I'm hard to impress usually and I own several websites myself involving logistics. This is just unnecessarily going into an ugly place because of a bruised ego but it's fine. :)

Diore -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 4:07:34 PM)
OP--this is so silly of a question, but not to deride your intent at all. It's just that you're looking at things with very black and white thinking, when in reality, there's a lot of gray areas in life. The dynamics of whatever relationship you find yourself in will be unique to that relationship and your personal chemistry. If any one of us was smart enough to define abstract terms such as "love", then I'd assume that person would also be omniscient entirely. Just jump in the water and enjoy whatever kind of fish you encounter; try to avoid the sharks (and stingrays... very important). If you want a complete fool's opinion on love and BDSM (or love in general), I'd conjecture that it will happen regardless of intent.

LadyPact -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/22/2014 6:19:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko I assure you, I have NO hard feelings towards anyone. I just don't like being misrepresented. And OK, I get it. Some people will just want to believe what they want and I should just walk away. But this man used my first name (a fake one I use, but thanks for outing me) in a public forum as if he knows me personally and makes mention of "baggage" as if I had opened up to him in some way. He is all of 3 emails of 50 pages (thus far) I have skimmed through so I just need to be the bigger person and let whatever this is over a grudge carry on as it may. It's really nonsensical, it's clear he's just baiting me and I have to agree with RedMagic1 that this display is uncouth and sloppy and unnecessary to all on the thread. And thanks to all who actually understood what I was saying, LOL. Nice to know I didn't get completely lost in translation there. :) Much respect LadyPact and kalikshama! :) The same in return. I enjoyed the conversation. [:)] I don't know why I didn't think of it before, but some of this might be similar to the discussions regarding BDSM play. Plenty of folks are casual players and plenty of folks are they type to say they don't play unless they are in a relationship and/or are involved with someone where there is emotional attachment. When those threads happen, it seems that folks are more willing to see the other side. BTW, the longer you're here, you're going to find that kalikshama comes up with all kinds of interesting links. She's got a knack for it. I hope you enjoy your day.

Blueswordsman -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/23/2014 7:38:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wittynamehere quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Is Love part of the D/s life style? quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman Is love a necessary part of a long term D/s relationship.. Your thread title and the question you actually ask in the OP aren't the same - rather annoying. Maybe if you want something answered, just ask one question? Or, ask multiple questions as long as they aren't subtle variations of each other. In the second question you use the word "necessary" which completely changes the meaning of the question. And in the first, you're asking about the lifestyle, and in the second you're asking about relationships - not the same thing. quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman .. or is the craving to dominate or be dominated enough? And then you use an "or" modifier, but instead of then listing the opposite of "is love necessary" you use "is craving enough". Yikes. We have enough trouble around here without people starting threads for which there is no proper way to answer the question or even have a discussion involving any reasoning. Lastly, would you mind defining "love", "D/s lifestyle", and "D/s relationship" please? If you do that, I can give you the answer to your question. If you can't, then really what your thread is asking, is for the definition of those terms. Without knowing that, no answer can be given. Unless you're just looking for nonsensical emotionally based answers. In which cases, here you go: "No, definitely not!" wittynamehere, I am impressed with your outstanding command of written English and analytic skills. You took the time to frame 240 beautiful words to dissect, analyze and focus on my simple question. And three words to give an opinion. May I ask…Did you learn eighth grade English from Sister Marry Mengele?

VideoAdmnOmicron -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/23/2014 9:02:01 AM)
FR: While having more than one account/nick is allowed, posting under more than one nick on a thread is not.

Blueswordsman -> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? (2/23/2014 12:58:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VideoAdmnOmicron FR: While having more than one account/nick is allowed, posting under more than one nick on a thread is not. Kindly explain what are you talking about? I only have one account and one name.

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